Wednesday, December 31, 2014


2,434+ times people have clicked on this blog to read something we wrote and for that we ask you what in the world is wrong with you? I mean we love you but surely you have something better to do like slam your hand in a car door, punch yourself in the face … fling yourself down a flight of stairs to see if your magical abilities come out? (PS if anyone tries that stairs for magical abilities thing A. that was your decision not ours, B. our lawyers instruct us to tell you that’s gonna hurt and C. if it works totally let us know cause we want magical abilities too!)

No … well ok then … welcome!  Anyway we hope that we have made you laugh, made you think, made you smile and made you say OH MY GAWD IS THAT JEM SELLING A HONDA?! Cause she did … did you guys see Jem selling a Honda?! They did a whole 80’s themed “Happy Honda Days” campaign featuring the toys of my youth… Jem, GI Joe, Gumby, Skeletor, Strawberry Shortcake, Stretch Armstrong … it was beautiful … it was marketing but still it made me want to drive my car into the side of a bridge so that I could then go out and buy a Honda. I didn’t but I totally thought about it.

Again, we had a goal for this blog …. Well we had several goals for this blog but the main goal was to give the creative side of our brain some exercise, offer a creative break to people in a similar situation as ours, and to meet new people who share similar interest to us.  We will continue to work towards these goals in 2015 and work to be more “on schedule” with our posts as it’s kind of hit and miss when we post.

Since starting this blog in August we have now posted 82 times, which actually sounds kind of sad but we’ve been busy. We promise to do better in 2015, you know what suck it we did the best we could and enjoyed it and tell the truth you enjoyed it too. We have set several “goals” for ourselves with the blog since starting it. We didn’t want to be the kind of people who set one up and then let it die. We wanted to continue to push forward.
From the “a post everyday for a week” at the beginning to the recent “Thankfulness Challenge” we have so far made every internal goal set for ourselves. It hasn’t always been easy. We want our post to be more than just hey look I saw a butterfly today and it was cool, now if that was a unicorn that would be epic! Which is why there is a bit of a delay sometimes in our posts, that and cause frankly sometimes we get all caught up in our daily lives and kind of forget it exists. No wait don’t go!!!!!!!

Maybe in 2015 we’ll have more fun like we did back at Dragon Con, or share more confessions, and share more struggles of a Medical Marvel, alert you to really cool things like movies and TV and nerdtastic awesomeness. So go out tonight, have a fantastic time, live it up and enjoy yourselves, but BE CAREFUL cause you don’t wanna miss the adventures we have planned for 2015. Tell us how you celebrated cause let's face it we were asleep by midnight, well I was Golden is out doing her thing.

Happy New Year from #SayWhatMG

Marcy (@beaslma) and Golden (@theonlygolden)

Thursday, December 25, 2014


To those of you who have new electronic devices and have clicked on our blog we thank you and congrats! Take a minute to look through some of our other posts and enjoy.

To everyone else we hope you take some time today to put down your electronic devices, look around and PARTICIPATE in the festivities that make today so special. Yes pictures are great, videos are wonderful for looking back and remembering how Auntie so and so sounded like or how grandpa this and that’s favorite sayings went so that you can quote them just right but don’t forget to live in the moment. To see your friends and family not through a lense but through your own eye holes.

To those of you missing loved ones this year that were here last year, I tip my hat to you. It’s hard but I like to think they, like my cousin, are up there grabbing the nearest person to them and saying you see that person down there that’s my cousin and she’s had a fantastic year, I’ve been watching let me tell you about her year. They are only gone if our memories of them go away too so spend a few minutes thinking of your loved one and how they would have enjoyed this day too, then jump back into your holiday.

We appreciate you reading our blog !!!

Merry Christmas and everyone stay safe cause 2015 is right around the corner!

Marcy & Golden

Also TBS LAST showing of A Christmas Story starts at 5, you simply MUST watch it all the way at least once during the 24-hour marathon ... I'm pretty sure it's a law!

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Deathbed Confessions.....

So the other day Golden posted her “Top 10 Geekfessions” and it got me thinking what would my confessions be …. So I’ve been mentally creating my list for if I were on my deathbed or something far less dramatic than that. Granted I went Christmas shopping today and am pretty sure I almost died or killed someone about 12 times and thus it might not be all that dramatic. I don’t fear the mailbox madman, well other than the fact that he might take down my best friend then I’ll have to spend the rest of my life avenging her death and hunting him down and frankly I don’t have time for that. I’d do it, I’d make the time cause well that’s what a friend does, at least a good one anyway.

So having never done a formal confession before, you know in the booth with a priest forgive me if I miss some steps or whatever  … in no particular order … let’s just jump right in …

§   I’ve never watched Star Wars, the only thing I know about is what Golden has told me and what I’ve seen via Robot Chicken. Don’t blame Golden she’s tried.
§   I’m envious of people who take chances on themselves. Those who move real far away for a job, those who quit a job to follow a passion. Those who take the risk that I’ve never had the guts to take.
§   Every time Kill Bill comes on a TV I fall asleep. EVERY.DAMN.TIME
§   I wanna travel, I like to travel, but more so I like going to new places, the actual getting there then exploring.
§   I HATED Gone Girl, it’s been a while since I hated a book more than I hated Gone Girl. That book by the way was It by Stephen King. Gone Girl really made me want to take my English Degree and burn it cause if that’s what we are calling Liberal Art now I don’t want any part of it.
§   I hate shopping, as anyone who follows my twitter account found today. I hate driving from store A to B and getting in and out of the car only to go into a store and find nothing.
§   I’m addicted to chips. Not chips in general but crunch that makes you have to turn up your TV cause you can’t hear it.
§   Neil Patrick Harris was my first crush, in life. Now I still love him but he’s kind of annoying and I want to punch him in the throat then give him a glass of tea. Don’t get me wrong the man is still crazy talented I just feel like he gets a pass for being who he is. His book was “ok” it wasn’t fantastic. If you’ve read any interview he’s ever done … you’ve read his book. I have no doubt the man was great in Hedwig but I’m not sure he deserved the Tony. I still say Jefferson Mays was robbed.
§   I do however admit that I adore Neil Patrick Harris’ work ethic. I wish I had half the drive he does. The man literally never stops.
§   I used to watch a lot of Food Network, but I can barely cook an egg. Now I watch a lot of DIY and HGTV and can barely swing a hammer. Tho if you ask me to bring you a wrench 6 times out of 10 you’ll get a wrench.
§   I’ve never watched Titanic. I have also never watched or read Gone With the Wind. I don’t see that changing. Sorry to my fellow English majors.
§   I’m horrible about seeing a trailer for a movie and going ohhh I wanna see that … then promptly forget all about it.
§   I’ve very excited about all the tweets from scared little tweens who turn into American Horror Story Freakshow just for NPH and start crying about how horrible the show is. Not believing that "Barney" is being treated the way he was". I also kind of hope NPH dies. I hope it gives the tweens nightmares
§   I loved the first two seasons of American Horror Story they lost me last year but I’m back this year.
§   I’m also really bad about buying or renting a movie and then not watching it.
§   If I’m a fan I’m behind you 1000000% and will support you until the day I die.
§   I love to read … however I’m bad about rereading books over and over cause I know I’m going to enjoy them.

So that’s my list. It’s not ground breaking it’s not going to make anyone sit up and take notice but it’s stuff I felt I should share. It's my blog i'll do whatever the hell I want to .... please don't leave. :D

-marcy (@beaslma)

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Crimmus gave me a panic attack!!!!!

So … I had a slight panic attack today. Not one of those where you have to put your head between your knees, or that someone calls an ambulance for you but one of those where it all hits you at once and you realize there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it but your blood pressure builds and your heart starts beating super fast. What caused this panic attack you may be asking yourself dear reader it was a coworker announcing to the room that Christmas is 2 weeks away. Literally. Two weeks from today we’ll all be sitting around with new stuff and full of holiday “spirits” of various kinds and … um…. I’M NOT ANYWHERE NEAR FINISHED WITH MY SHOPPING LIST!!!!! Hell this year I didn't even have time to make a freaking list!

Golden isn’t a concern, I won’t even see her it appears until sometime in May if not later which makes for a Sad Marcy! I’ve picked up a few things (one I’m thinking about sending to her early but don’t tell her !) but I have time for her. My oldest nephew wants Money … which I understand where he’s coming from he says he’ll just go “buy what he wants.” He’s a picky teenager who likes name brand items. I refuse to pay more for a pair of headphones based on the name that I do for my car once a month. That’s just beyond insane. My youngest nephew hasn’t been any easier, and I’m with these kids all the time. What do you do when you aren’t around them for months or years at a time? Like his other aunts … what the hell are they getting them? My mom for once was the easiest on my list. I haven’t taken care of dad yet but he’s a few gift cards away from being done.

My oldest nephew seems to be at that point where he’s finally getting that things are expensive and feels “bad” asking for things. I keep telling him that Christmas is that time of the year where you ask for the things you WANT not the things you necessarily need. Plus they are forgetting that fact that just cause they ask for it does not mean that they will get it. That's a concept they still are trying to grasp. :D

See the thing is … and this isn’t really a problem… but everyone in my world is at the point in their lives when if they want something they just … go get it. It’s a good problem to have really but yeah frustrating as hell as well. There’s also that annoying moment where someone says “hey what do you want for Christmas” and your brain fails you and worlds do as well. You could have seen something two seconds before that you were like I’d love that and someone says that question to you and it’s gone forever.

So why the stress you may ask other than of course the 2 week deadline. Friday we are having our department lunch for Christmas, then our firm Christmas party  Friday night. So I can’t go then. On Saturday we are going to have Christmas with my dad’s family, so no shopping there; then Sunday unless I bail on church there will be very little chance for shopping then as well. Then all next week I have work, which is shaping up to cause another panic attack before the end of the year, but that’s another post. Basically I'm screwed. I'm going to be that asshat at the gas station going heck yeah people need this plastic snow globe with BP in it. I could say I should have started earlier and while that’s true I just can’t Christmas shop before Halloween and then I think Christmas is super far away and don’t really do it. Then thanksgiving comes and goes and it’s like O.M.G. Christmas is almost here.

Like I don’t own a calendar … ok my calendar is still on September so that’s not quite as helpful as you’d think it would be. I don’t know why I do this every year but this year has been truly brutal. I HATE shopping … but more than that I HATE wrapping up the crap I’ve shopped for. I always end up using like 4 times the amount of paper that I need. It ends up looking like a crazy mess and my mom gets upset cause I don’t use bows. I think they are a waste of time but she insists so I put one on her packages.

So I guess the point of this is that I need the universe to slow it’s roll, I need it to crawl off of Golden’s back and I need to get a time machine and use it to go back in time and kick past me in the ass for putting me in this predicament …. But then again that’s future Marcy’s problem …. So I’m going to go grab a bag of chips and chill before I have to get up and do it all again tomorrow.

PS if this post seems a little manic it's pretty much in line with how I'm feeling at the moment so just run with it okay! I don't need the added stress of knowing that I stressed you out. Everything is spinning super fast and just needs to slow the fuck down!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Must See Holiday Movie List

If you follow this blog regularly then I'm sure you have seen Marcy's crimmus tv calendar. If you haven't, then make sure you check it out. (If you don't I will tell Santa to put you on the asshole list!). She has some excellent choices on there.

I guess it seems silly to some to have a holiday program calendar but it's fun! It also reminds me of a dark and scary time. Back when I was a young golden. Back when YouTube wasn't invented yet and Netflix was a fad that my parents weren't buying into. Back then you had to make sure that you caught your favorite holiday programs on tv....L-I-V-E!

Fucking scary I know!

Many a hard decision would be made when two of your favs came on at once. The best case scenario, you could record one program on the tv in your bedroom and then beg your brother to let you watch the other program live on the tv in the living room. Ahhhhhh!

I know this sounds like a horror story but it's ok. Breathe. We have evolved. Here in the future we don't yet have teleporting, time machines or flying cars, but we do have the means of watching tv/movies at anytime! So yay for that. So this holiday season while you're dvr-ing everything in sight give thanks to the tech gods for such a privilege. I will be using my tech privileges to try and catch some of my favorite movies that have become a crimmus tradition.

If you have time and are looking for a movie idea, check out my list of "must see" movies for the holidays. Since Marcy’s awesome and fantastic she’s added when the particular program can be seen on tv, click the link … if it’s on :D

§  Nutcracker: The Motion Picture (1986). This is one of my favorite crimmus movies! It's beautiful and fantastical.  --- sadly no airings posted at this time
§  Gremlins, because it is totally bitching! --- sadly no airings posted at this time
§  National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. I continue to watch this every year even though I can quote it and laugh at the jokes before they play out. --- ABC Family is showing this 10 times between now and Christmas :D
§  White Christmas, because Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney, plus Danny Kaye's dancing, plus the costumes, plus the sets, plus the EVERYTHING! --- AMC is showing it 7 times between now and Christmas
§  Babes In Toyland (1934) With Laurel and Hardy is my favorite version. It's crazy to think that this movie is 80 years old! --- Halmark Movie Channel is showing the 1961 version on Christmas Day
§  Home Alone. It's a have to see each year. --- TBS and ABC Family are showing this several times
§  Muppets Christmas Carol, because what holiday can be listed as truly great if there are no Muppets! --- ABC Family is showing this 7 times between now and Christmas
§  Love Actually. I have found that people love this movie or hate it. I'm not a romance movie girl, but I do like this movie. --- sadly no airings posted at this time
§  Black Christmas (1974) is a great crimmus horror movie. The remake wasn't as good as the original but it's easier to find. --- sadly no airings posted at this time
§  It's a wonderful life. This movie always makes me cry. It is a true classic. --- This aired last Saturday on NBC and will air one more time on Christmas Eve; also on USA (?!) on the 14th?
§  Scrooged. Bill Murray makes everything better. --- ABC Family is showing this 4 times between now and Christmas
§  Eyes wide shut. What do you get the person who has it all, maybe a free pass to a cult group orgy. Merry Crimmus to all! --- HBO and HBOSGe (whatever that is) is showing this several times
§  A Christmas story. If you don't watch it at least once then you deserve to poke your eye out! --- You simply have to watch it at least once during TBS 24-hours of a Christmas Story on Christmas Day; TCM is also showing it a few times
§  Elf. Buddy's crimmus spirit is infectious! --- ABC Family is showing this 8 times between now and Christmas
§  Ernest Saves Christmas. I don't know what we would do without Ernest! --- sadly no airings posted at this time

Most of these programs have become part of mine or my family's holiday tradition. I'm sure you know and watch the majority of these, but maybe you will find something new to add to your traditions. 

-golden (@theonlygolden)

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Top 10 geekfessions

"Cleanse your soul.
Confess your sins."

Well that's a bit fucking dramatic. I received a paper in my mailbox with that statement written on it. I'm hoping it's some kind of clever cheap ass marketing campaign from a local church in time for crimmus. However, my tendencies towards paranoia lead me to believe I shall soon be tortured and killed by a madman who is offering me one chance at redemption.

Cleanse my soul? Maybe....
Confess my sins? Sure, why not.

Well lets see. It's been exactly....forever since my last confession. Good lord, there's no way of knowing how many times I've cursed, I've never killed a man.... So, puntos extra para que! I may have wished some negi juju on people, but they totally had it coming. I haven't built any idols of gold. Or even silver for that matter.

Um, yeah this is boring.

How about my geeky/fandom confessions. Now that I think about it, this seems a bit harder to admit out loud. I don't quite know what that says about me but whatever. Lets do this!  

§   I really hated Avatar. Like really really hated it. I thought that movie totally sucked ass. Speaking of movies I hate, go ahead and throw Titanic and Forrest Gump on that list.

§   I have never seen an episode of Supernatural.

§   I can play a RISK tournament for days. Easily.

§   I love the show Psych. I loved it since the night I saw the pilot episode on tv. I have seen every episode so many times there is no possible way of counting how many times...almost. I never watched the last three episodes of the series. I've had them on my dvr for months but I have no interest in seeing the series end. So I haven't watched it end. I successfully avoided most spoilers, so although I can guess, I don't know how it ends.

§   While on the subject. I didn't want Jules and Shawn together on Psych. I like her character very much. But I loved the relationship between Shawn and his best friend Gus more. And sometimes true friendship is more important than trying to couple people off into romantic relationships.

§   I don't get Steampunk.

§   I can watch old dubbed kung fu movies and/or Godzilla movies for the rest of my life and die happy.

§   I like Star Trek but have only ever watched The Next Generation and some of the original series episodes. Same with the Star Trek comics. I've only read from The Next Generation line.

§   I've never played Dungeons & Dragons, pokemon, or WOW.

§   I cringe to admit this out loud. And I never have, for fear of the backlash of fandom wrath that will fall upon me. But I guess should I bite it due to the mysterious mailbox killer, it shouldn't go with me to the grave... I don't like the Doctor Who companion Amy Pond. She severely bothers me for so many reasons.

Whew! Guess I got that off my shoulders. Please be gentle when you judge me. Just remember that we all have our glitches and only the mysterious Mailbox killer can judge us.

-golden (@theonlygolden)

Thursday, December 4, 2014

An Open Letter to Fox: RE Red Band Society

Last night was the “Mid-season finale” of Red Band Society. First off when did shows start this mid-season finale thing … I get they take the month of Dec. off to spend time with family and for the holidays and cause frankly there’s so much going on in real life and tv specials to watch that they don’t wanna compete but why does it have to be this big “finale” thing as if we aren’t hooked enough on these shows. Anyway … I’ve jumped off topic, that's another blog posting.

This post is about Red Band Society and what FOX is going to do to it… at least if reports are true. The show incase you didn't know focuses on a group of teenagers living together as patients in a hospitals pediatric ward, all have a different ailment keeping them there, aka they don't all have cancer. These kids form a close knit "family" atmosphere helping each other get through their daily grind, the treatments, and even each other. The red band signals their alliance and the fact that each and every one of them has had or will be having surgery. 

Basically the network ordered 13 episodes, with last night’s episode 10 of them have aired. Now instead of just showing the other three, Fox is pulling it from the schedule for a mid-season replacement (again if reports are true) and it may or may not come back. AKA we may never see the last three episodes, which for a story that won't be finished anyway seems like someone pulling the last chapter out of a book then handing it to me. Which is just evil and that person deserves the 9th layer of hell. Apparently the ratings aren’t as “good” as Fox had hoped it would be and this tactic is being seen as a way to create buzz about the show. I personally think it’s a giant slap in the face to anyone that worked on it as well as those that watched it.

I admit I missed the first episode of Red Band Society, after a lot of buzz about the show it came on without me realizing it. I then set a reminder on my phone for every Wed as well as a TIVO season pass so that it would not happen again. For me it's definitely been Must See TV ever since. I’m not saying Red Band Society is my favorite show ever … what I am saying is that it’s been a long time since I watched Fox regularly, like back when Party of Five was on the air, man I LIVED for those days when PO5 was going to be on my TV. I have VHS tapes of recorded episodes (to this day) so that I could relive them all week long. Now it's true that I’ve been watching Sleepy Hollow, but that’s more to support Neil Jackson, tho I admit it’s not a big sacrifice on my part it's a great show. I also Tivoed Gotham but haven't watched any of them yet and since Tivo started killing them off due to space it's likely I won't unless it's in reruns this summer. The point is that Red Band Society is really unique to anything else that’s on Fox right now. However it takes me back to a time when Fox was the network to watch for exactly this type of drama. Back when Aaron Spelling basically set the Fox lineup.... you know shows like 90210, Melrose Place, The Heights, and other “teen” type dramas.

Let’s be real for a second …
  • Red Band Society is up against Modern Family and Blackish two pretty strong comedies on another network, apparently. I’ve never seen Blackish and haven’t really watched Modern Family in a few seasons.
  • The lead in for this show is Hells Kitchen. Really Fox. WTF! The placement of this show makes zero sense to me. I'm not going to listen to a dude yell at people about salt for an hour then curl up on the couch to watch a show like this.
  • The biggest issue with Red Band Society is that it will be on one week, take a week break for whatever reason, then come back for a week or two then it's gone again. It's hard to get into a rhythm of watching a show when a rhythm is never formed.
  • People see it as a show about “kids with cancer” they connect it with being sad and depressing and while it’s not jolly every second it’s not as depressing as people think. However that initial thought kept a lot of people from reaching for the remote.
Main Cast at the series premier party L-R: Brian Bradley (Dash-Cystric Fibrosis), Dave Annable (Dr. McAndrew), Nolan Sotillo (Jordi-Ewing Sarcoma), Ciara Bravo (Emma-anorexia), Griffin Gluck (Charlie - AKA Comma Boy), Rebecca Rittenhouse (Nurse Dobler), Zoe Levin (Kara-enlarged heart needs a transplant), Octavia Spencer (Nurse Jackson), and the heart and soul of Red Band ... Charlie Rowe (Leo-Osteosarcoma) via the Fox Website

Sadly not pictured above is the fantastic Wilson Cruz (Kenji) whom I ADORE especially on this show.
It is really a damn shame that this show has not gained the following that it deserves. Those people have missed the following:
  • Nurse Jackson walking into the room and seeing “Comma Boy” aka Charlie was awake
  • Nurse Jackson singing to prove she still "has it" 
  • Leo and Emma getting back together (tho I'm not sure that was a good moment)
  • Dash painting the mural on the wall to leave his mark on the world
  • Nick (Thomas Ian Nichols) singing to Charlie and when it was revealed that he was more than a hospital volunteer
  • Kara realizing that she's NOT the center of the universe
  • Jordi realizing the sad reason he got to keep his leg
  • The devastating moment when Jordi's mom walked out on him, again
  • The hormones running rampant in this hospital for both teens and adults who know better
The point is that there are some really fantastic actors on this show doing even better work and while this won't be the last stop for any of them I'd like to see where they'd take these characters. This show deserves so much more than what it is getting. To bail on the show and leave three episodes in the wings is just … annoying.

Here’s the deal Fox, pulling this show won’t get it new viewers and will more than likely cause it to lose the viewers it has gained. People don’t jump into a sinking ship, if people think it’s over it’s already over. Even if you bring it back to the outside world based on articles being written left and right it has been cancelled. It’s hard to come back from that. If you are making the call to cancel it then at least finish it off first (I've never understood why a network has shows in the can, done and ready to air and just ... don't) so that we can all move on. So basically Fox you need to shit or get off the pot.

I do wonder tho what happened to the network that stood behind a show and allowed it to find its ground and gain an audience before bailing on it. I get that television is a business and the bottom line is that a show needs to have viewer to attract sponsorship (AKA commericals), which at the end of the day make it profitable for a network. That writers, cast, producers, costume people, make up, set designers, lighting people and many other behind the scenes people need to get paid and the more profitable the show the more a network jumps behind it. However sometimes the gamble pays off in the end. Might I remind you that Party of Five ended up being a good gamble, as did How I Met Your Mother for CBS, and a ton of other shows that had a slow start out of the gate. Fox used to be a network that would dig its heels in and fight for a show, it was a network that used to take those gambles and fight cause it was a scrappy little network that had to fight for each point, each viewer and each show. It was cutting edge and it was fun to watch.

Kinda sounds like the Red Band Society actually ... these kids have that same drive and perseverance they are facing horrible odds where everyone has basically given up on them but their doctors and themselves. I urge you to get back on their side and let the writers, actors, producers, directors tell this story. Give it the chance it deserves cause 10 episodes is not really enough to fall in love with a show … especially one like this. I want to find out if Charlie runs down the hall, I want to know if Leo plays soccer again, I wanna know if Emma is ok--seriously for the love of all that is right with the world someone tell me if Emma is ok!!!!!!!!!!! Will Jordi continue to slide down the slippery slope of the law just so he can have his surgery, will he get caught? Will Nurse Jackson ever be happy outside of the hospital, is Dash going to be different now that he thinks he's the "leader," there are stories left to tell here is my point. 

So come on FOX PLEASE join the Red Band Society … let the Red Banders continue this story …. Be the network you set out to be when the network began back in 1985. Don't make us start a ground swell and send Red Bands to the Fox Network .... with social media that won't be hard to pull together.

Thank you for your time,

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Crimmus Time Really?

I got a case of the Charlie Browns. I'm not saying that out of all the Charlie Brown's in the world, that I would be the Charlie Brownest, but it's getting pretty damn close.

Usually by now I've got all my trees up, yes ALL! I put up a themed tree in every room. But not this year. So far I have the big one up in my bedroom and it's decorated. I also put the big one up in the living room. It's a total hassle. I put the lights on it and the little twinkling star on top....and then was like fuck it, I'll put the ornaments on it tomorrow.

I'm embarrassed to admit, that took place Sunday...and yeah still no ornaments. That's it. I still have 5 more trees that I usually put up and decorate. I love crimmus trees. They appeal to the kid in me. When I was a little golden, after we put up our tree, I always spent the first night laying underneath it looking into the lights, all sparkling and bouncing their magnificent reflection off the glass and glittery ornaments. It's the closest I will ever get to riding a magical unicorn through a rainbow meadow. It was glorious!

Not me but this is what it would have looked like if someone had taken a picture of me in my blissful state
But I'm just not feeling it this year. It just doesn't feel like crimmus. At least not to me. And at least not yet. I thought if I went through the motions the emotions would follow. They haven't. I will decorate my main tree, because it looks real stupid and sad. But my 5 other trees will march their sad asses back to storage.

So I wonder what's the deal?! Could it be that it's 70℉? Maybe. Having cold weather usually does signify crimmus time to me. But that really can't be it. People all over celebrate crimmus. Crimmus doesn't cease to exist because people live in warmer climates. Maybe it's my work schedule. I work in Mental Health care and so we work year round. But I actually made the executive decision to take off crimmus day Thursday and Friday after. So this year I get to spend a long lazy day with my family instead of trying to cram all the holiday cheer in an hour or two. Maybe it's the fact that i'm getting real uncomfortable when people ask me what I want for crimmus. I don't want anything, but people don't really like that answer. It's just that there's nothing I need. And honestly the things I want can't be bought.

Oh fucking hell! Is it... Is this... Could it be that I'm, like growing up and stuff?! Is this what adults feel like? Oh good christ I hope not! This sucks ass! Surely adults don't walk around in an internal funky state. No wonder adults have all those face wrinkles.

Calm down, Lets see. I wore a glow-in-the-dark t-shirt to work today with my Marvel Vans. I carry my Hello Kitty wallet in my classic style Rainbow Brite backpack. I practiced an improvised ice skating routing on the kitchen floor with my pup LuLu. I stayed up all night watching cartoons. And I firmly believe in the right to eat cold pizza for breakfast and hot eggs and waffles for dinner. I also maintain a pretty fucking sweet sticker collection.
So maybe it's not the dreaded adulthood thing. Who knows what it is. All I know is that I am so the mayor of funksville. Hopefully the tide will change and I will be able to be bitch slapped by the holiday spirit. Hopefully it will happen soon cause this pseudo-adulthood sucks balls.

-golden (@theonlygolden)

Monday, December 1, 2014

2014 Christmas TV Specials Calendar

As I’ve said before the Christmas TV/Specials/Movies airing this time of year just fill me with the Holiday spirit. People take the time to relax, spend time together, and just enjoy the season, for the most part anyway. Like with Halloween I create a annual Christmas TV/Movie Specials calendar so as to not miss all the wonderfulness this time of year brings. Since we have a blog now I’m posting it here, yeah I know shameless plug of the blog, but yeah … so what. It’s my blog to do with as I please, well as long as it’s ok with Golden and since she’s been asking for this calendar since Nov. 1st I’m guessing she’s gonna be ok with it.

If you’ve been paying attention to your television at all you know that channels like Lifetime, Hallmark, and ABC Family have been showing “Holiday” Specials since what feels like August but I just couldn’t buy into the program until after the Dressing had been eaten. I do find it odd that a lot of the animated specials that I love so much seem to die after the first or second week of Dec. Thank goodness for ABC Family keeping the animated stop motion holiday special alive! :D 

PLEASE find below a jpeg of the 2014 Christmas TV Schedule. You should be able to save it without losing too much of the readability. You are best printing it 11X 17, if able or saving it to your favorite portable device so you can zoom in and out.

PLEASE be mindful that several shows appear on the calendar more than once, that’s to allow people to make choices. If you love Christmas Vacation but it’s the same time as Mrs. Miracle, well look at that Christmas Vacation is on the following day so I can watch Mrs. Miracle now and have the best of both worlds. That is if you plan ahead.

There are some specials on the aforementioned channels that just didn’t make the calendar. If something had to be cut for room those went first. If say ABC family was showing 3 great shows in a row I only listed one and figured while watching it you’d be alerted to the others, unless it was a show I wanted to see cause that’s right it’s all about me you are just invited in the car.

That said if I don’t have the channel I didn’t include it … again cause it’s about me. There are some great specials on the Hallmark Mysteries and Movie (or something like that) Channel, the boomerang channel, and the Inspiration channel, but alas Comcast won’t give me those channels. If you have them check them out just don’t tell me about the wonderfulness of it all or I’ll start ranting to Comcast yet again.

As always there are guidelines. . . .

First . . .  a few guidelines:
·        NO E-MAILS about taking Christ out of Christmas, it’s just a really long word and using X-Mas allows for more shows on the already full calendar.
§   Thanks for your understanding.
§   For those that don’t understand I’ll be glad to remove you from the list just let me know.
·        I live in the central time zone, the times on this calendar reflect that, adjust accordingly.
§   That said unless otherwise stated the times are PM
·        This calendar does not focus on established show “Christmas special episodes” so watch out for those … Psych for instance has a great one and Friends had some touching Christmas specials. However, that’s not what this calendar is about however.
·        This calendar contains shows I want to see, so a mixture of adult themed shows/movies and kid themed shows/movies are represented. Some are classics and some are new, so PLEASE be mindful of what is on before you sit the kids down with popcorn to watch.
§   Don’t call me cause your little one watched some holiday movie on Lifetime or and now has “questions”. . . . that’s your mess not mine.
¾       Please NOTE: The “NEW” Disney version of a Christmas Carol (the computer animated Jim Carrey version) is a little dark and can be scary (much like the original story btw), you might want to check it out before you and little man/lady plop down with popcorn and a blanket to “watch a classic.”
·        Keep an eye out for additional shows/movies that pop up throughout the month as networks change their lineups.
·        Feel free to add your own specials and traditions to the calendar that’s what it is there for.
·        For you stay at home mom’s they run specials all day long and for the most part my calendar focuses on the after work hour times since that is when I can watch.
¾       That’s right it’s all about me!

A few programs of note:
·          A Christmas Story also comes on several times this year but you have to watch it at least once during the Christmas Day Marathon that begins on Christmas Eve on TBS!
¾          Bless you Ted Turner, you crazy old man!!
·        National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, one of the best movies ever, comes on several times this year. If you don’t know the joy of Chevy Chase finally getting the lights to finally work…well I feel sorry for you and your family and the people that know you because you are missing the joy in your life. Correct that this year please!
·        The Disney Channel is doing their 4th Annual “Fa-la-la-lidays” with Christmas themed programming starting Nov. 28th through the end of December. Most of these include holiday themed shows already on the air, not very many specials which surprised me.
·        ABC Family is having a “Family Holiday Classics Marathon” on Dec. 21st, and a “Holiday Movie Marathon” on Dec. 22nd as part of their 25 Days of Christmas programming starting Dec. 1st through the 25th.
·        There is a new Debbie Macomber Christmas special, Mr. Miracle airing on Hallmark several times this season, check it out. It’s typically preceeded by her other Holiday movies Mrs. Miracle and Trading Christmas, which are also quickly becoming favorites.
·        Hallmark has other new specials including Christmas Under Wraps with Candace Cameron of Full House fame.  They will show a marathon of their “12 New Movies of Christmas” on Christmas Day.
·        On Dec. 24th Turner Classic Movies – TCM is having a “Night at the Movies – Merry Christmas” Marathon that starts at 10 AM. This will include It Happened on 5th Avenue, I’ll be Seeing You, The Shop Around the Corner, Meet Me in St. Louis, and the Man Who Came To Dinner. Check out some of these timeless classics.
·        Check out the I Love Lucy Christmas Special on CBS Dec. 7th a true comedic legend.
·        This calendar does not contain specials on channels I don’t get, such as the Boomerang channel, or the BBC, or other awesomeness like that. Those channels often show classics from my childhood and if Comcast would just let me have it … oh my bad I digress …. You don’t need to know my cable issues.
·        The “boys” in my life informed me that DIEHARD should have been on the calendar …. boys are silly … however and I couldn’t find it showing after Nov. 30th and even then it was on the Esquire channel so … yeah there’s that. Sorry fellas. I tried.

A few programs of note that are not “Christmas” related but interesting enough to make the calendar include:

o    Peter Pan Live – Dec. 4th on NBC, I love the story of Peter Pan and the idea behind it and I really don’t want this to suck.
o    CNN Heroes: An All Star Tribute – Dec. 7th – it’s nice seeing that in a world full of insanity there are some people out there trying to do good and are being recognized for it.
o    Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show – Dec. 9th on CBS – a dear friend of mine loves this and insists that it go on the calendar every year, she’s the boss.
o    CNN Film: Dinosaur 13 - Dec. 11th – A dinosaur documentary what more do you need to know. Dinosaurs are awesome….this one is about the discovery of “Sue” the largest most complete T-Rex ever found and the battle for ownership of the fossils.
o    RifTrax Riff Off Demon Bat – Dec. 16th National Geographic – The Guys from Mystery Science Theater 3000 did one of these last year and it was great, they are doing it again this year and in the hopes another success will bring back MST3K I urge you all to watch.

Anyway, the intention of this calendar, much like the Halloween one is to get your family to pause and spend some time together making memories. In this season where we spend so much time rushing around we forget to enjoy the down time and enjoy the family time. Great specials come and go and if we don’t watch they will go forever.

Today’s “classic Christmas special” may be next year’s no show on the calendar. Which is the real reason this calendar was born, if we stop watching they will stop showing. So just because you have Yes Virginia (which aired the Friday after Thanksgiving and does not appear to be airing again L boooooo CBS !!!!) on your shelf or Charlie Brown Christmas (which comes on twice this year … Dec. 2nd and Dec. 16th on ABC), take the time to watch it with your family as it airs so that it will air for years to come. 

So sit back, laugh, smile, and cry (some of these are sad, I mean who doesn’t cry when George Bailey is standing next to the tree with Mary and his friends are coming in to save the Bailey Savings and Loan, oh no did I give the end away ?!) and have a GREAT Christmas!