Sunday, April 30, 2017


The #MonthlongCelerationofGolden starts tomorrow (May 1st). It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

I could explain to you why we do this but Golden did it perfectly when we first started this blog so why recreate the wheel …. Read her post here …

What I will tell you is why I celebrate it. I celebrate it because Golden deserves it. She’s a hard working, fun loving, amazing woman who has battled more demons than even she would admit to and is still fighting. When they told her you’ll have to retire by 30 she was like "nah … fuck that" and proved them wrong. Her body has fought her every step of the way, yet Golden just powers through it, with minimal complaining, but frankly for what she's going through the little bit of complaining is justified.

She’s literally the strongest person I know. I am proud to call her my friend, I am proud to be in her corner and I’m proud to spend a month celebrating all the awesome that is Golden. I've said it before and will say it again, I'm so happy that the AU Housing Board made us suitemates our Freshman year, many random things came together to make that happen and I'm forever grateful for those random situations.

My mother and her mother constantly tell me not to encourage her in this insanity but it’s not insane. It speaks to her personality and for once allows the spotlight to be on her, something she typically shy’s away from. I am making it my mission that this be the best month long celebration yet, cause let’s face it each one has to be better than the last right. Some of my friend’s get week long celebrations but Golden gets an entire month. From May 1st through the 31st (her actual B’day) it’s all about Golden !

Throughout the month I’m going to post some of Golden’s “best” blog posts as well as a few new ones of my own as part of this month long celebration cause if we aren’t going to use this blog to build one another up then what we are using it for?! Who knows maybe I’ll get her to come back to the keyboard for a post this month.

So join me won’t you as we celebrate this month by sending her tweets of love and encouragement. It doesn’t take much, a goofy picture that made you smile, which might make her smile; a note to just say hi; any acknowledgement really is what we are looking for so let’s get it going … and kick off Monday May 1st the right way as we start the #MonthlongcelebrationofGolden     (could we have used a longer hashtag?!)

Marcy @beaslma

Golden @theonlygolden

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Growing up different… not just for kids

Growing up different I was more than familiar to what bullying was. I think the things that surprised me most about the practice of bullying is that 1. Children...sweet, innocent, new to this world, fresh faced little cherub, light of our eyes children … are complete assholes; and 2. Bullys don't go away. They just grow up and become bullying adults.

Now that I am adult my “different” has increased ever more so and I find times that I am still getting bullied by both kids and adults. But fuck them, I learned to blow it off years ago….Bullshit. It still hurts. I've just learned to suppress it. But this response isn't about me. I work with mentally ill adults and since doing so have noticed the bullying trend not just from people on the outside of the spectrum making fun of the mentally ill, but that the Mentally ill themselves are starting to bully each other more frequently. They are looking for and finding differences amongst each other to create an imaginary platform to elevate some against others.

I've seen bullying between…
Mentally Ill and Intellectually deficit…
People who have put themselves in the Mental Health System vs. Court ordered to be here…
Court ordered violent offenders vs. Non-violent offenders…
Diagnosis vs Different diagnosis…
People born with their illness vs. those whose illness was caused by head trauma….

and it goes on and on and on. So...why? If we are all in the same place, if we are all dealing with the stigmatism of mental illness, if we have all been down into the worst of ourselves, how can we not recognize the human need to act as a collective and see ourselves and our struggle in others and raise up to offer support to those that have been there. So, based recently on an indecent at my work, I was asked to give a response to our residents about bullying. Afterword’s, as I went to delete the file, I decided to instead post it to this blog in the hopes that maybe it will help someone, out in the interwebs, where it is often hard for people to get away from bullying, who may need it. 

Always remember talk to someone if you are in need. I have included a few hotline numbers at the end of this post for quick reference. Never forget you unique, you are beautiful, you are loved.


Offering support
Response to bullying within the community

As we grow we find that life is often harder than we expected, especially when you live life with a form of mental illness. According to NAMI statistics, approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. (which is 43.8 million or 18.5%) experience a form of mental illness. There are a lot of us in the world, yet we still feel so alone.

Sometimes there is safety in numbers…

The positive thing about having so many experiencing some form of mental illness is that, even though we are all different and have different journeys, we can still offer support to each other. Everyone, at one point in time, knows what it feels like to suffer through their illness, and sometimes having someone just shake your hand or pat you on the back and tell you “you got this” can help.

Everyone of us walk a different path, even if you have the same diagnosis as someone else, your stories are not the same. There could be two people, twins, with the same diagnosis but show different symptoms and require different medications. Some people’s symptoms range from mild to severe and can often times vary within a few days. That can make daily life hard. That's why I try and talk to you about your medications so often. If your meds are not working for you, THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You won't get in trouble for something you can't help. Not all medications help everybody and can sometimes, even cause more side effects than they are worth.

A lot of people are afraid to talk to their doctor and admit that they are still experiencing/displaying symptoms of their illness. Instead of going through a med change. Why would you want to take something that doesn't work? Having your medications adjusted is not a failure.

I often hear people brag that they only have to take 2 pills while others take 18. If what you are taking is working and allowing you to be the best you possible, what does it matter if you are taking 5 pills instead of 2? Taking several medications does not make you a failure.

We are all here and we have all had to go through periods of adjustments, so if you see your friend, neighbor or roommate going through something, offer them the support you wish someone would have offered you when you needed it. Offer them the respect they deserve and the encouragement to stay strong.

Living with mental illness is a journey that can be hard but we don't have to make it hard on each other. And every one of us is a work in progress, just because you may need a little extra support doesn't mean that you are not going to be a great success, it just means that you have to make it through and when you do, you will know how to offer support to the next one in need.


Bullys exist everywhere, not just in the Mental Illness community. If you need someone to talk to, to help you through times of doubt regardless of situation here are a few resources. Remember no matter how lonely you feel, YOU   ARE   NOT  ALONE!

§  Adolescent Suicide Hotline: 1-800-621-4000
§  Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling: 1-800-999-9999
§  AIDS National Hotline: 1-800-342-2437
§  CHADD – Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorders: 1-800-233-4050
§  Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD  (4-2-24453)
§  Cocaine Help line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)
§  Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
§  Drug & Alcohol Treatment Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
§  Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933
§  Eating Disorders: 1-888-236-1188
§  Family Violence Prevention Center: 1-800-313-1310
§  Gay & Lesbian National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
§  Gay & Lesbian Trevor HelpLine Suicide Prevention: 1-800-850-8078
§  Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111
§  Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)
§  Incest Awareness Foundation: 1-888-547-3222
§  National Center For Learning Disabilities: 1-888-575-7373
§  Missing & Exploited Children Hotline: 1-800-843-5678
§  National Allianceon Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
§  Panic Disorder Information Hotline: 1-800-64-PANIC (72642)
§  Post Abortion Trauma: 1-800-593-2273
§  Project Inform HIV/AIDS Treatment Hotline: 1-800-822-7422
§  Rape (People Against Rape): 1-800-877-7252
§  Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
§  Runaway Hotline: 1-800-621-4000
§  Self Injury (Information only. This is not a crisis line, info/referrals only): 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288
§  Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
§  Sexual Abuse – Stop It Now!: 1-888-PREVENT (773-8368)
§  STD Hotline: 1-800–227-8922
§  Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
§  Suicide & Crisis Hotline:1-800-999-9999
§  Suicide Prevention – Trevor HelpLine (Specializing in Gay & Lesbian Youth) 1-800-850-8078
§  Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900
§  Victim Center: 1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)
§  Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663)

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Let's get social!

My self imposed Social Media Ban for Lent is nearing it’s end. This time next week I’ll be back online and back at it … maybe. I have to admit I’ve enjoyed this break. This unplugging experiment has done me so much good, that’s not to say I haven’t been busy. I have found some new music, watched my nephew get inducted into the Junior National Honor Society, got to help with an Easter Egg hunt, got to help my office with a City Park clean up event, and of course went to Auburn for a weekend. That’s not to say that it hasn’t been easy not sharing some of those things, not to mention my older nephew going to the Jr/Sr Prom with his super awesome girlfriend. I mean they looked great together and not seeing the pictures he, my sister-in-law, and brother posted in real time was tough. I had to remind them to e-mail them to me so I could see them, which meant I saw them 2 or 3 days after the fact. boooo hisss! 😊 I also didn’t get to participate in the season premiere of Blackdog Salvage on DIY something that I’ve really missed. I love chatting with those guys via Twitter as I watch the show. I’m very much looking forward to tweeting with them next week. I wonder if they have wondered where I am?! Join us! 😃

However, the main thing I have missed is Golden. Between our work schedules being exact opposites, her new furbaby Mighty taking over the house, and her cell phone coverage being shit I have missed conversing with her through twitter. We’ve texted a little bit but I understand Mighty isn’t a fan of Golden’s cell phone. Don’t worry Auntie Marcy will have a chat with Mighty first chance I get about how cell phones are friends not food. Because of all those things I’ve missed Golden and I think she has missed me too.

There have also been several times I’ve thought man I haven’t heard from so and so in a while and realized just how much we have come to rely on Social Media to stay in touch with our everyday people. Sure I’ve emailed more than I usually do but often those people don’t check their mail or like I used to would see the message pop up, read it and think I’ll reply later then never did. I’ve also missed talking to my twitter friends from a far and have wondered how they are doing but with lack of e-mail addresses for them I haven’t been able to get in touch with them. I wonder if they have even missed me ?

So while this “break” has been far easier than I’d have thought it would be I do miss the connectivity that social media gives me in my every day world as well as with the people who I’ve connected with that without Social Media I wouldn’t know at all. I often say that we have forgotten that this social media is supposed to be about being Social and I’m realizing just how much social goes into my media. I plan to keep that mantra in my mind as I re-log into all my accounts and keep the social going cause without it what’s the point. So join me won’t you as I get social again ….. let’s use this medium the way it was intended.

Have a fantastic week and if you celebrate it … HAPPY EASTER!!!!

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Falling into the Ed Sheeran rabbit hole

So…. In my self imposed Social Media Ban I have talked about my part in spreading negativity on the internet and my part in spreading positivity on the internet but in this one I’m going back to my roots a little bit. I am jumping on the bandwagon of an artist many have known about for years, looking at you Melissa, but whom I recently found thanks to a gift from a friend (looking at you Katie) so I'm waving the banner of this artist for people like me who thought they knew about him from the radio and had it just so badly wrong. 

So a few weeks ago I helped a friend, Katie, with something and in return she gave me an Itunes gift card. I’m kind of sick of everything I’ve been listening to lately so I decided to use this as an opportunity to find something new. I decided that the first thing I saw I was going to buy without even checking it out. The week that I was given the card was the same week that Ed Sheeran released ÷ (AKA Divide), something that wouldn't have normally hit my radar. When I 1st opened my Itunes store the first thing I saw was Ed Sheeran’s ÷ in the banner and I clicked on it to buy it before listening to a single track as was the deal I made with myself.  This deal ended up costing me way more money than the Itunes card was for.

For full disclosure I HATED Photograph by Ed Sheeran not because it was a bad song, not because it was a good song but because it was ALWAYS on the radio. Like literally every single time I’d flip around the dial (yes I’m that old to remember when there was a dial) this song was playing on at least 3 or 5 stations. I hate that. I always feel like when they do that they are trying too hard to get me to like someone and I rebel so hard it’s not even funny. I still don’t like the song, but now I can at least say I’ve given it a fair shake it’s just not my cup of tea. That being said after listening to ÷ I have jumped both feet in to the Ed Sheeran band wagon. The guy is brilliant. The way he puts a song together very much makes me think of my good buddy Eric Erdman, an artist who deserves so much more love than he gets. Their brains just see the world differently and my ears love every second of it. However Eric has to wait for another post this one is all about my falling into the Ed Sheeran rabbit hole.

To those new to this blog when I get a new album I have a rule; I push play then don’t touch anything until the last song plays. I want to hear the album as the artist/producers intended before I start jumping around to the tracks I really like. I have to admit that with ÷ I didn’t love every song right out of the gate, some I still don't. Actually on the first listen I was on track three thinking about track one and why it was called Eraser. It was quite challenging to move past actually and I still don’t fully understand it, but have decided to not overthink it and just ride with it since it’s a good song.

My favorite songs on ÷ include Happier, New Man, What Do I Know, Supermarket Flowers, and Nancy Mulligan. Tho I admit that Supermarket Flowers makes me cry … every.damn.time. It’s an ugly cry too … the picture he paints of his mom walking around her mother’s room essentially saying goodbye burrows into my head and a little mini movie plays that gives me all the feels creating tears at the same time as the goosebumps. I LOVE IT when that happens!!!!! Tho I'm sad for the circumstances that led to the song, I LOVE when a song does this to me.

There are some tracks I blow past now when they come on, but mostly because I can’t wait to get to other tracks. Like Galway Girl, I love the flow of the track but often find myself not really in the mood for it so I skip it. The first time I listened to New Man I thought dude who are you kidding, then realized I know nothing about this man so who was I kidding. Now it’s one of my favorites. Dive is the same way for me, sometimes I’m not in the mood for the slow soulful feel of the song but I like it and it’s the perfect song for work when I’m editing a document and need to focus. That’s not the case with Shape of You, or Perfect, if I never hear those again I’d be ok. Tho I did go on a trip with a friend and put Perfect on repeat during the night and slept like a baby which was nice, until the next day when it was like an ear worm that wouldn’t die.

As a self-professed Music Skitzo I love the mixture of rap/story/pop whatever you want to label it that Ed Sheeran brings to the table. He’s not really trying to fit into anyone’s mold but in doing that he’s creating his own mold but taking all his musical influences and creating his own genre for people to model future music by and that’s a testament to the influence he brings to the table. To this point, he posted every single song on his youtube channel with full lyrics in the information section so people could really dive into each song the way he  truly intended.

Check out the entire album here ….

After diving into ÷ I then dove head first into his entire library of music on Itunes. It was quite pathetic actually how hard I fell for this man. Like I can’t get enough of his voice, I can’t get enough of how he puts lyrics together and I really feel like he’s put everything he can into a song before giving it to the world. He’s definitely an artist who seems to care about what he’s putting out and isn’t at all putting things out simply cause he has a deal and he can. If that’s not the case I don’t want to know. Some of his earlier tracks that have made my ear holes incredibly happy are U.N.I., Wake Me Up, Homeless, Even My Dad Does Sometimes, Where We Land, and the list goes on and on.

I even bought his “live” albums and that is saying something cause I’m not a live album person. Often it takes away from the experience for me when I actually see them live, but in his case I feel that you really get a taste of who this artist is in front of an audience and he sounds like he’s having so much fun on stage you can’t help but fall in love with him if you haven’t already.  I apologize for being late to this party but damn I’m glad I finally got an invite …thank you Ed Sheeran my earholes haven’t been this happy in years!

Once I get back on Social Media, two more weeks, I have a list of things to do and first is follow Golden's new furbaby, Mighty, second is following Ed Sheeran so I can tell him personally how amazing he is, like he'd care what I think. If you are interested here's his information:

Until next time .... have fun listening! :D