Crimmus Time Really?

I got a case of the Charlie Browns. I'm not saying that out of all the Charlie Brown's in the world, that I would be the Charlie Brownest, but it's getting pretty damn close.

Usually by now I've got all my trees up, yes ALL! I put up a themed tree in every room. But not this year. So far I have the big one up in my bedroom and it's decorated. I also put the big one up in the living room. It's a total hassle. I put the lights on it and the little twinkling star on top....and then was like fuck it, I'll put the ornaments on it tomorrow.

I'm embarrassed to admit, that took place Sunday...and yeah still no ornaments. That's it. I still have 5 more trees that I usually put up and decorate. I love crimmus trees. They appeal to the kid in me. When I was a little golden, after we put up our tree, I always spent the first night laying underneath it looking into the lights, all sparkling and bouncing their magnificent reflection off the glass and glittery ornaments. It's the closest I will ever get to riding a magical unicorn through a rainbow meadow. It was glorious!

Not me but this is what it would have looked like if someone had taken a picture of me in my blissful state

But I'm just not feeling it this year. It just doesn't feel like crimmus. At least not to me. And at least not yet. I thought if I went through the motions the emotions would follow. They haven't. I will decorate my main tree, because it looks real stupid and sad. But my 5 other trees will march their sad asses back to storage.

 

So I wonder what's the deal?! Could it be that it's 70℉? Maybe. Having cold weather usually does signify crimmus time to me. But that really can't be it. People all over celebrate crimmus. Crimmus doesn't cease to exist because people live in warmer climates. Maybe it's my work schedule. I work in Mental Health care and so we work year round. But I actually made the executive decision to take off crimmus day Thursday and Friday after. So this year I get to spend a long lazy day with my family instead of trying to cram all the holiday cheer in an hour or two. Maybe it's the fact that i'm getting real uncomfortable when people ask me what I want for crimmus. I don't want anything, but people don't really like that answer. It's just that there's nothing I need. And honestly the things I want can't be bought.

Oh fucking hell! Is it... Is this... Could it be that I'm, like growing up and stuff?! Is this what adults feel like? Oh good christ I hope not! This sucks ass! Surely adults don't walk around in an internal funky state. No wonder adults have all those face wrinkles.

Calm down, Lets see. I wore a glow-in-the-dark t-shirt to work today with my Marvel Vans. I carry my Hello Kitty wallet in my classic style Rainbow Brite backpack. I practiced an improvised ice skating routing on the kitchen floor with my pup LuLu. I stayed up all night watching cartoons. And I firmly believe in the right to eat cold pizza for breakfast and hot eggs and waffles for dinner. I also maintain a pretty fucking sweet sticker collection.

 

So maybe it's not the dreaded adulthood thing. Who knows what it is. All I know is that I am so the mayor of funksville. Hopefully the tide will change and I will be able to be bitch slapped by the holiday spirit. Hopefully it will happen soon cause this pseudo-adulthood sucks balls.

 

-golden (@theonlygolden)