Sigh.......

Sigh ……. that is all I have for a title.  

So …… it’s Sunday …. before the Wed that I should be leaving for Dragon Con, which is going virtual this year incase you didn’t know. Honestly I could care less about that. Granted I’ll watch the virtual parade, I might check in on some of the panels they are preparing and I will look at all the cosplay that should have been seen in person but what I really miss is …. Well …. Golden. Since 2014 I’ve packed my car with all the things … driven to Golden’s house and packed the car with all her things and then headed to Atlanta for a 5 day festival of all things Geek but in all honesty the Geek festival was just the destination. For 4 days it was nothing but laughter, pizza, buss trips,  exhaustion, “can I take your picture?” talking to new people while waiting on the buss, eating, shopping, posting our various finds online, walking, waiting on the buss, drinking, standing, pizza, uber rides, talking to new people in lines, sitting, Waffle House, talking to new people while on the buss, and one really great meal at the Hard Rock usually on Saturday or Sunday after the vendor hall.

That’s what a virtual con can’t give me but God love Dragon Con for trying.

To be honest Golden offered to let me come up there anyway spend 4 days farting around her house watching movies and just chilling something we both desperately need but while it sounds like HEAVEN I’m sacred to do it. I show no signs of the virus but who the hell knows what I’m walking around with without my knowledge. My Medical Marvel isn’t going to be taken down by me, no that’s for the lady at Walmart standing to close while in line for prescription to handle. Not me. PS lady at Walmart BACK THE FUCK UP MAN, that goes for you to dude side eyeing me from the band aid display she don’t need you in her air either.

So I sit here with the most exciting part of my day so far being that our drive in Church was cancelled due to bad weather and electronics not liking rain. HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK if I’m being honest. I have a submittal due Wed but there are also two hurricanes coming that could potentially screw that up, but we aren’t going to get this job anyway. I also have two more coming up the following week that we actually DO have a shot at so that is my next focus. Since I’ve been working from home since March for it will be business as usual at least until I lose power, assuming that I will. So I am kind of glad to not be leaving the family behind to deal with the hurricane mess, tho at the moment we don’t seem to be in the eye of the cone but we are on the wrong side of it so it could get interesting.

My parents are getting ready to celebrate their 50^th anniversary which is pretty cool so I’m also kind of glad to be around to see that but I wish they would stop snipping at one another. I don’t know if it’s the combination of the pandemic stress, or the inability to go out in the world and get away from one another for a few minutes but my mom is the angriest that she’s ever been in life (I think she’s stopped taking her depression pill) and my dad dosen’t know when to back off which makes him the brunt of her wrath at the moment. I don’t know how to help them cause I totally get where my mom is coming from with my dad. However I also think mom is letting the little shit get to her (again due to lack of taking her medicine correctly) which is making it worse. I personally feel like the only “downtime” I get is when I’m laying in bed at night. I know from the second my feet hit the floor if it’s not work stuff to deal with it’s going to be dealing with mom and dad and trying to keep that bomb from exploding, or at least detonating so that it does little damage. Sometimes I feel like nothing I do is enough, or right, or correct and honestly wonder sometimes why I even try.

So …. in all reality this isn’t a great time for me mentally and I could have used the time with my bestie but I’m gonna be ok.

Stay safe out there guys ……. It’s crazy stupid.

Marcy