Let’s be honest … 2020 is very much like the big bad wolf … it blew in super hard but then was told it couldn’t cause it might spread the COVID, and good lord man wear a mask! I came really close to not doing this calendar cause well frankly nothing else has worked out this year why should this … but then decided A. I needed something to look forward to so looking up these shows and movies made me happy. B. what if the thing you guys was looking forward to was this calendar and I didn’t deliver then it would have just been one more thing in this crappy year that disappointed you … and well I can’t have that on my head. C. it’s all about me and this calendar makes me smile and wears out my Tivo and so we must proceed!
So … here you go …. By my calculations the 12th Edition of the Halloween Calendar is here for your viewing pleasure, tho I swear I’ve been doing it longer. Found below is a JPEG (for your phone for quick reviews of shows on the go). If you'd like a PDF of it drop me a DM on my twitter @beaslma
PS I have found
that when you are at a restaurant or sports bar pulling our your phone and
asking the waitress to switch from the football game to SYFY for some Halloween
goodness does not win you a free appetizer but then again this year it just might.
While I have put my toe into the “digital world” by using Disney Plus, Amazon Prime, Peacock, and by having access to Netflix (thanks to someone who shall remain nameless so that the Netflix gods don’t come after her), I have to admit my main source of entertainment is still my television and thus this calendar reflects that, so deal with it digital nerds! Wait … wait don’t go ….. digital shows are highlighted below just not in the same loving way …. Don’t turn your back on me pls…totes love ya.
The highlights:
- Freeform: ok let’s get the obvious out of the way, if you read nothing else in this dissertation …. Read this ……. if you have littles this is the channel for you. If you are young at heart …. this is the channel for you. If you are having a horrible day and just want to vege and watch something fun …. this is the channel for you. That being said not everything on their list deserves or needs your eye balls. 31 Nights of Halloween started many years ago and quickly grew to be competitive in this market. That said … the line-up includes a LOT of repeats and frankly shows that have very little to do with Halloween. It also includes shows/movies that you won’t find elsewhere so it’s well worth checking out and checking out often.
- AMC: I would call
Fear Fest the greatest thing to ever happen to Halloween IF they didn’t insist
on so much Walking Dead insanity I mean aren’t all those people Zombies
yet…honestly how is that show still on the air? Is it even a story at this
point or are they all just killing one another for lack of having something
better to do?! They redeem themselves a little bit by their selection, which
starts Oct. 1st and runs through the end of the month … but only a
little bit. I’m watching you AMC don’t turn into Food Network (see below).
- Syfy: is once again doing their 31 days of
Halloween, starting Oct. 1st with all the blood and gore and
awesomeness that one could wish for in a Halloween line up. I am going to
ignore the fact they have added Harry Potter to their lineup cause I just don’t
have it in me to rant about that yet again, nor do I feel the need to point out
that Gremlins is a Christmas movie cause a friend has already pointed that out
to me and I don’t entirely disagree. However Gizmo’s are adorable and we all
need more of that in our lives.
- Disney
Channel: Disney’s
Monstober starts October 1st but let’s be honest it’s more Disney
Channel Halloween themed episodes than anything else and that’s disappointing
to me. With all that is at their disposal, cause let’s face it I’ve seen what
they have in their arsenal on the Disney+ ap, the best they can come up with is
Descendants, Disney Fan Jam, it’s just real disappointing but hey what do I
know those could be the classics that your kids will one day be ranting to
their peers about.
- Turner
Classic Movies: The
Godfather of classic movies will begin their programing on Oct. 2nd
and include original classics like Dracula, House on Haunted Hill, Creature
from the Black Lagoon, The Devil Doll, The Mummy, The Blob, so many great
movies this year on their schedule, if you are lucky enough to get this channel
of course.
- It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown - ok look we all know ABC is gonna show it, usually the Wed before Halloween but for some reason the powers that be at ABC feel the need to keep that crap under wraps for as long as they can. I get it … you have a pandemic going on and your fall schedules have been messed with cause your actors and writers and their staffs didn’t wanna die by coming in to film so you are all scrambling. Maybe announce this one … check one thing off the to do list ….. would that be so hard? It is like they don’t even care about my calendar. So rude.
You might notice that Food Network isn’t on this list, and usually they are. However this year I’m mad at them. They started showing their Halloween fun in SEPTEMBER … like what?! Who do they think they are Christmas at Walmart in August ?! Unacceptable. Who do they think they are Christmas at Walmart in August ?! Unacceptable. I will admit that Outrageous Pumpkins with Alyson Hannigan (of Buffy and How I met your mother fame) is giving me life at the moment but not enough to earn them back their bullet. Nice try Food Network but frankly, the last few years they have angered me with their content and this year they have angered me by showing that horrible content so early. That’s right … Halloween Wars aint what it used to be. You may be wondering to yourself ... why would they start showing this stuff so early ….. to make room for a “Halloween Edition” of Worst Cooks, and some show called Freakshow Cakes. So watch Food Network or don’t … entirely up to you. Get in the corner Food Network and think about what you have done!
So ok …. Digital Nerds as I so lovely called you guys earlier (still with me?) here’s your moment to shine …… cause I love you guys …… here’s some links for your favorite digital platforms like Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime. Use some of these btw to look for those shows we all grew up with and fall back in love with them, like Halloween Town, any of the Olsen Twins stuff like Double Double Toil and Trouble, Young Frankenstein, Scary Stories, Little Shop of Horrors, Twitches, Spooky Buddies, Bednobs and Broomsticks, Donald Ducks Trick or Treat, and of course The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad a classic for sure.
Check out the following links to see their various line ups that you shouldn’t miss. DISCLAIMER: I have seen some of these but not all of these … I vouch not for their goodness, their quality or their creativity but I do vouch for the fact that they carry the Halloween torch and that’s good enough for me.
https://comicbook.com/movies/news/disney-plus-halloween-collection-streaming-movies-list-2020/
https://www.countryliving.com/life/entertainment/g32748070/disney-plus-halloween-movies/
https://collider.com/best-halloween-movies-on-amazon-prime/
One thing that never changes is of course … the rules … I’ve told you about the kid who watched Michael Myers and couldn’t sleep and his mom had the audacity to blame me (don’t do that, he did not and does not have my DNA which means …. He’s not my problem…good luck with what you created), I’ve told you about time zones (I’m in Central, if you aren’t adjust accordingly) and font sizes (printing it 11X 17 is good for your eye holes), so I’m not going to bore you with those again. If you don’t want this calendar feel free to opt out …. Reply all will not be your friend …. Just giving you a heads up. For the newbies figure it out, for the veterans to this calendar game anyone want to make a bet on who breaks the first rule and which one?! Can they break a rule if I haven’t told them what the rule is ? Yeah…yeah they can and they likely will.
The intention of this calendar, much like the Christmas one is well normally to get you to slow down and spend time with your family, friends and loved ones (which sometimes overlap) but I’d imagine you all might be sick of that. So take some time for your self do something fun … carve a pumpkin while watching, create fantastic Halloween snacks to eat while watching, or work on your costume – don’t forget the props – and RELAX from the horrors that have been 2020 cause let’s face it trick or treating might be cancelled but awesome Halloween specials are always in season. Feel free to share ……. If you dare! 😃
Marcy
