44 total days, just over 6 weeks human time my mother was in the hospital from Aug 12th through Sep. 24th. She’s much better now, and has returned home but for a hot minute we weren’t sure we’d ever get to send a “she’s home” text to our loved ones. She fought like a champ and the text was able to be sent eventually to much fanfare and rejoicing. In case you didn’t know, she had a heart episode, a heart attack, blockage in one of her arteries, (depending on who you talked to) and required a single bypass surgery. She handled the surgery like a pro, she handled the recovery like a scared little baby, but she handled Rehab like a boss and that is what’s important. Very Jekyll and Hyde of her which ironically isn’t on my calendar this year, more on that in a moment. I tell you all that not for sympathy or for you to send your I’m glad your mom’s doing better messages back but to tell you that my heart and mind were not in me for this calendar and frankly I did it more out of obligation than anything else. Like her, I pulled it together and attached is the calendar for another year. I almost had a panic attack cause I thought it was Oct 1st and I hadn’t sent it out yet, in the hospital days just kind of run together after a while, and realized I had a few more days to try and make it better, talk about stressful, but was grateful for the few extra days to make this worth your time and frankly mine.
It's not entirely my fault tho. Local networks aren’t interested in holiday programing unless it is that fun “Halloween” special for their established shows, which as you know that’s not what this calendar is about. So that’s not helpful. What happened to Icabod and Mr. Toad, or Pooh and his Heffalump, or Alvin and Chipmunks Trick or Treason, Monster House and his awesome kite, The Exorcist (can’t someone think of poor Ragan), The Smurfs and the Legend of Smurfy Hollow (see what they did there), heck at this point I’ll take Shrek in Scared Shrekless. All this gold and none of it on tv, but what’s really sad is that a lot of it isn’t even available for streaming either. That’s just disgraceful. Yet I can watch the same 12 episodes of the Big Bang Theory on just about every channel …. I mean come on what’s that about? Don’t get me wrong I love me some BBT but the point is still the same.
AMC, Freeform you guys saved this calendar, hallmark you got invited to the party cause well we needed to add some lighthearted fall fun to the blood and gore. SYFY I don’t know what’s going on with you, I’ll assume your mom was also sick so you bailed completely, but I expect to see you back next year. I miss your Halloween fun. They claim they are still doing Halloween programing, but I can’t find a listing anywhere. I was able to look through their website schedule, and found a few gems (they are airing the original Blair Witch btw) but it only takes me through the first week of shows. Again … not so much with the helpfulness. Don’t make me put you in the corner with Food Network. I’ll do it. Just tempt me.
That being said not everything on Freeform and AMC made my calendar. I can’t live in a world in which the likes of say Pirates of the Caribbean, or Alice in Wonderland, are considered “horror” …that’s not to say they aren’t worthy of your time it just not going to take up a slot on my already full calendar. It’s my calendar and it’s my rules (as dictated below).
Food Network cut their Halloween programing down to two shows, and they both aired mostly in September. Rolls eyes so hard. However, if you are interested to see who wins … Halloween Wars airs on Sunday nights, and Halloween Baking Championship on Monday night. Looking for Outrageous Pumpkins? Don’t bother, they didn’t bring it back and that’s a real shame. It was a very creative show and I for one miss it. I’m starting to wonder why I even watch that channel anymore, oh wait I kind of don’t. If nothing else is on I’ll turn to it but it’s more background noises than me really giving a crap who cut an onion correctly or not.
The ID channel has some interesting offerings this year namely “Real Murders on Elm Street” which is apparently a series that airs on Wednesday nights alongside “The Friday the 14th Murders” … which both sound very interesting. If you do get the ID channel you might be interested in these, sadly I do not. I mean who would willingly choose to live on Elm Street. That would be like me naming my new campground “Crystal Lake” then being surprised when all the teens get murdered one afternoon and they pull my license and shut down my camp after making me refund all the money. I’m sure there was a clause in the sign up form about that but my lawyers swear it’s missing. I guess you get what you pay for. I digress the moral is don’t tempt faith people, isn’t that what the original Halloween is all about!? I should ask Jamie Lee Curtis that question.
As always there’s streaming fun to be had this time of year with a lot of new offerings a Family Guy special on Hulu for some reason, the IT: Welcome to Derry series premiering on HBO, and of course the Great Pumpkin which is still being held hostage by Apple TV (tho I understand it’s available to watch for free – somehow.) Many of the shows I listed from when I was a kid (see above) can also be found on some of the streaming services, but as previously stated not all of them. I highly recommend the Garfield Halloween Special if only for that amazing rendition of “What should I be” cause Afterall a singing cat trying to determine his Halloween costume with his dog friend is always a good time. I believe it’s on Hulu and maybe prime but don’t quote me on that.
For those new to this party, and there are several of you, I will re-state the rules, for those veterans out there please forgive me for giving a short explanation and allow your attention to wander freely if you’d like. (thanks for that line Albus! – 10 pts for your house if you can tell me which Harry Potter book that’s paraphrase from).
The Rules:
- I live in the central time zone, so does this calendar. Adjust accordingly for the current location of you and your family. Don’t call me cause you missed your “favorite” show/movie, that’s not my mess. Be a big girl or boy and crank up that DVR and find out when it comes on again cause odds are it will. I don’t need 5 e-mails about the mistakes made on this calendar it’s free … suck it up and move on.
- Time Zones are hard and sometimes I screw up the conversion from Eastern Time Zone to Central. See Note above for how I feel about you finding a mistake on the calendar.
- Unless otherwise stated the times are PM, this calendar is also geared towards the after work hours cause that’s mostly when I can watch. My office seems to think it’s a distraction if I watch while at work, I mean I still do sometimes but for full disclosure I don’t watch TV while working but I do listen to music, and this time of year that music is SPOOKY. For those WFH peeps or stay at home moms feel free to check out these channels throughout the day for more spooky goodness you know between Team’s calls.
- Lastly this calendar shows things I want to see, movies and specials that take me back to my childhood or that just make me happy, or things that intrigue me. Some are kid themed, and some are more adult oriented. PLEASE be mindful of that before you sit down with your little and they can’t sleep cause Freddy might get them. That’s your mess not mine but kudos to you for showing them a classic. Seriously don’t be that person and there’s always one. This is supposed to be for fun, if you make it not be for fun well you won’t get it next year. PS if you don’t get this one you don’t get the Christmas one either so be sure that’s what you need/want before firing off that e-mail/text or god forbid call me. This isn’t the internet where you can say whatever you want without consequences.
If you are a digital user the easiest way to use this calendar is to save it to your phone so you can check it on the fly, I mean who hasn’t gone to the bar keep at the local restaurant to ask them to switch from the game to Friday the 13th ? Just me ….weird. When I print it, and I do, I print it 11X17 but 8.5X11 is often good enough, especially if you can use one of those cool work printers … not that I do that nor am I suggesting that you do that I’m just saying that is the kind of printer that prints really well at that size.
Now I must warn you … these networks have some kind of dyslexia cause I have noticed that they will show the movies and their sequels but often in not any kind of order that makes sense in any world that we live in. I mean I get it … you want to show the real popular ones when people can watch and that requires a little planning on their part. If it’s a full night of say Halloween fun I just put Halloween Marathon and it’s up to you to find what you want to watch, that’s right you don’t get out of doing some work on this thing too. I did highlight the ones I want to watch cause as previously stated it’s my calendar I’m just sharing. Please Note: If you pick Halloween Three we can no longer be friends.
A few things to take note of :
- Freeform – is once again bringing their 31 nights of Halloween to the party. Just about every night there is fun and laughter and lots of animation that satisfies both adults and little’s alike. So sit down relax and fall into the fun of your childhood. The joy starts October 1st.
- AMC is where you go for all out gore …. Fear Fest starts October 1st and it is not to be messed with and is to be revered and loved for the wonder that it is. Lots of classics on the list and marathon on top of marathon. Lots of theme nights.
- Hallmark channel is bringing the fall feels with “harvest” theme shows about people falling in love as leaves are falling and pumpkins are on display. There are likely others on the schedule but I focused on the few that caught my eye cause they sounded interesting or fun tho I’m sure they are all the same.
- SYFY is apparently having a 31 days of Halloween but as stated previously good luck finding what they are showing and when. It’s usually fun stuff too like Child’s Play and Jeepers Creepers, oh and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Cabin in the Woods, Carrie, House of Wax, real psychological fun but oh no they can’t be bothered to share their schedules so go check them out see what’s on then move on if you want.
So enjoy a scare, carve a pumpkin, eat all the good candy, eat it all then buy some more for the little beggers who grace your front door at the end of the month (or during your Trunk or Treats) just do whatever you need to in order to keep Mariah at bay a little bit longer. Good lord X-mas back off we still have Turkey day to get through afterall!
Happy Spooky Season,
Marcy
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