2022 Christmas TV Movie Calendar

 Good news fellow lovers of random TV specials, the Crimmus Calendar (that’s how my bestie spells it and now I it looks weird spelling it the “right” way), unlike the Halloween calendar, was much easier tho Hallmark, Freeform, and Lifetime have done their best to overtake the darn thing once again this year. I would however argue that if you start showing Christmas shows in April on a loop 24/7 then maybe you don’t have much else to offer and might wanna review your strategy – just saying. 

I admit … This calendar has been burning a hole in my file structure for about a week, but since I didn’t put anything on it for the week of Thanksgiving I decided to hold it. I also didn’t want it getting lost in the shuffle that is yall’s inbox during the holiday. Then like 3 weeks in people are like did I not get your calendar and they have missed out on so much awesomeness. I mean that’s not my fault, I know that but still I’ll feel bad for you and your disorganized self.  

As many of you may know GAC is also trying to get into the holiday specials mix, Great American Country for those that don’t know, but I don’t have that channel. As I’ve said for the last several years if I don’t have it … it won’t appear on this calendar. I’m selfish that way. Plus, I don’t wanna be all political but if Candace Cameron Bure is how you plan out your TV watching time then just turn the thing off and read a book. Seriously. DJ is great but yeah calm down it’s just a Crimmus movie you aren’t saving the world.   

Before we dive in … I think it’s important to repeat the rules, cause without rules there is chaos and we can’t have that with Santa in the air and all. . . .  

• NO E-MAILS about taking Christ out of Christmas, it is there you all know it just stop being difficult..... I mean honestly, it’s just a really long word and using X-Mas allows for more shows on the already full calendar.  
• Thanks for your understanding.  
• For those that don’t understand I’ll be glad to remove you from the list just let me know.  
• I live in the central time zone, the times on this calendar reflect that, adjust accordingly.  
• That said unless otherwise stated the times are PM 
• Very special episodes need not apply. This calendar does not focus on established show “Christmas special episodes” so watch out for those … Psych for instance has a great one and Friends had some touching Christmas specials, however, that’s not what we are here for. 
• NASFL – Not all is safe for Littles … This calendar contains shows I want to see, some are new, some are classics, and some are just downright dumb but I like em so back off! There is a mixture of adult themed shows/movies and kid themed shows/movies cause I’m just a kid at heart. PLEASE be mindful of what is on before you sit the kids down with popcorn to watch. 
• Don’t call me cause your little one watched some holiday movie on Lifetime or and now has “questions”. . . . that’s your mess not mine.  
• Late Hour Focus, but hour round fun. For you work from home people, stay at home mom’s, or employers who have access to good wifi ….  they run these specials all day long, and while my calendar focuses on the after-work hour times, since that is when I can watch, fire it up as background noise for that meeting that you are totes paying attention to. Then you can thank me later.  
1. That’s right it’s all about me!  

It seems everyone has a gimmick or a brand they are selling, It’s a Wonderful Lifetime, on well … Lifetime, 25 days of Christmas on Freeform, Miracles of Christmas from Hallmark Movies and Mystery (which was a missed opportunity for them for sure) Best Christmas Ever from AMC (which is debatable but their love of Claymation makes up for it) and so on. Marketing departments have been working overtime for their various channels, but it kept them employed so … good for them. I do question a network that does 25 days of anything but when you really study their programing realize that they are really replaying the same 10 movies over and over and I wonder if their time couldn’t be better spent.  

Especially when you look at their line ups in their various Aps and see that there is so much more out there than a Burnt out executive who leaves the big city to help her parents shut down the ranch she grew up on but shunned and left for bigger things only to find the love of her life tending to {insert your animal here} with a plan to save the ranch but only if she agreed to leave the hustle and bustle of the big city to pick up where her aging parents have left off and agree to marry him on the spot or the deal is off. Or you know … something of that nature, over and over again.  

So, with that thought in mind, the focus of this calendar is on NEW specials and returning movies I want to see cause I mean frankly there is not enough paper and ink in the printers around the world to include them all. Trust me, I’ve tried. I meant if you haven’t seen a Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen in their hey day trying to get to Grandmas’ house have you even lived?! PS it only comes on a few times and for some reason at the arse crack of dawn each and every time. Don’t ask me why …. just be happy it’s still on the air. I mean they have to be what in their late 30’s or something by now? I also admit that Die Hard didn’t make the cut again this year, which is not my fault. I just can’t find that it’s airing anytime in the next 25 days. I tried Guys I promise!  

A Few suggestions for your holiday viewing:  

• Ralphie Love !!!!! Both TBS and TNT are showing 24 hours of a Christmas Story starting Christmas Eve … and you should also check out the A Christmas Story Christmas on HBO if you have it cause it’s everything little Marcy wanted in life!  It pulls at all the same heart strings that the original pulls on …. once in a while a little too hard.  
• The Star – appears several times on Freeform this year. I admit I didn’t give this special the notice it deserved when it first came on in 2017. I fell in love with it hard a few years ago and it’s now must see TV for me every year. Make sure you check it out. Your kiddos will LOVE this animated special and they just might learn something too.  
• A New Orleans Noel on Lifetime is well a NEW Christmas movie that is set in New Orleans and bring Rudi back to our television screens and I’m all for anything that does that. If it also brings Patti LaBelle then that’s just a bonus. The Big Easy at Crimmus what could be more fun !?  
• Lifetime: speaking of Lifetime they are working to end the reign of Hallmark as the place for Holiday fun by airing NEW movies EVERY Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights at 7 central. Sure they all have a similar pattern to them but that didn’t bother you when Hallmark did it, so tune in cause did I mention they are NEW !  
• CNN All Star Tribute at 7 on CNN Dec. 11^thI have talked about this before … it’s an annual special that highlights some pretty amazing things being done around this planet to try and make it a better place. It’s a very uplifting night and reminds you that maybe .. just maybe the world has some good left in it.  
• Claymation Love – Both AMC and Freeform are giving us the Claymation love this year and I’m 100% for it. Now if they can just bring back the Claymation Christmas I will be the happiest Marcy ever! Bring the kiddos to the TV, make them watch it and explain just how much effort it took to bring that awesome to the screen.  
• Beauty and the Beast LIVE – will air on ABC Dec. 15^th .. and god love them no matter how bad these have been over the years they keep trying. Eventually they will get one of these right maybe it will be this one.  
• Hanukkah on Rye airs on Hallmark on the 18^th … which is the only Hanukkah movie on my calendar and it makes me sad that is a thing. I mean 8 Crazy Nights should air yearly but alas I can’t find it.  

Another programing note …. unlike Halloween where they are just all over the map with the order, Christmas specials tend to keep the flow going, so if they were say … showing The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2 and the Santa Clause 3 back to back on the same channel I didn’t list all 3 cause well A. Space is limited, B. If you want to watch one you’ll likely watch them from the beginning and C did you not read about having limited space to make this happen!? I mean if you don’t have an afternoon to devote to it then well just walk away, be a quitter … see if I care. I do… I care a lot … cause Tenderheart tells me I need to. That’s right I worked a Care Bears reference into this year’s calendar and if that’s not a Win… then what is. *does Happy Dance in my chair!* 

Digital Media is taking over and I’m no longer going to fight it … No, before you get all excited, I’m also not dropping it into my calendar, but I do admit that it is the week of Thanksgiving and I have watched A Christmas Story Christmas at least 3 times and loved every single second of it each and everytime I watched it. So, if you are interested in what’s happening in your various streaming services check out the links below. I admit I am proud to see all the original programing that’s dropping on the various streaming services and sad that networks don’t have enough faith in them to show them “offline.”  

New Christmas Movies to Stream: A Holiday 2020 Streaming Guide | Den of Geek 

New Christmas Movies in 2022 and Where to Watch Them (people.com) 

90+ Christmas movies to stream for holidays on Netflix, Hulu, more (usatoday.com) 

Where to Stream the Best Christmas Movies of All Time (2022) – The Streamable 

So go get your digital on and you won’t hear from me how the medium is killing the holiday special for cable providers and how Apple TV has already claimed Charlie Brown as theirs and how you can’t watch Mickey’s Christmas Carol without a Disney+ account or how Ralphie’s new special is only on HBO MAX  but yeah you go ahead stream to your hearts content and sit back and enjoy. It’s fine …. No really … go ahead it’s fine. Seriously why are you still reading this … go watch your programming … and Merry Christmas have a wonderful New Year and here’s to an even better 2023 for us all!  

Have a wonderful and safe holiday season so we can do this again next year!  

If you can't save the image above hit me up on twitter @beaslma and i'll send you the PDF/JPEG combo. 

Marcy  

2022 Halloween TV Movie Calendar

A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked, now that the boys (aka nephews) are in college are you going to stop the TV/Movie calendars ? I was immediately like no, it’s not about them I enjoy it too. However, I admit that this year’s calendar was way harder than in years past and if Christmas is the same well it might be time to hang up my calendar for good. As you will see the calendar is dominated by a few specific networks. Now I know there’s more to life than Freeform, AMC, and SYFY and yet here we are. I have been unable to find hardly any of the things that I used to find that routinely made the calendar’s of years past. 

Where’s my network TV? Calendars filled with Food Network (More on their insanity in a few), Cartoon Network, ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox breaking their “regularly scheduled programs” for “specials” or “movies” from their respective studios that fit the season. Alas that is either no more or they just aren’t announcing anything yet instead focusing on their regular programing as their new seasons start kicking off. I guess they don’t care about my calendar as much as I do or those of you that have reached out to me in mid-September to ask when it’s coming. Soon was my reply…soon. So many of the sites I used to use to populate this calendar are no longer active, or like me only show the 3 mentioned above, heck one just recreated the Freeform calendar and said ..eh good enough. Are my sources done with this process? Are they just unable to find anything so they put out what they could hoping we’d understand? Are the networks moving away from the fall specials, I mean each is associated with a specific streaming service that can air these things without messing with their precious lineups? So why waste the air waves and the advertising dollars. Has it finally happened, has Digital made this thing …. Obsolete ? Maybe so but let’s do it at least one more time cause well I am not ready to let this thing die, tho I admit it might be on life support.

You may notice that I’m sending this out on the 30^th of September which is of course not October 1^st. I did that for a number of reasons.

1. I’m going to a friend’s house Friday night to watch Hocus Pocus 2 and wanted this to be done before so I didn’t have to worry or think about it could instead focus on the black flame.
2. It allows people to use their respective office printers to print the thing as they move into the weekend, your IT people will thank me for that one.
3. It’s football season down South and I didn’t want this to get lost in the shuffle of traveling to see your respective teams play.
4. I wanted you all to have it before the weekend so as to not miss the first weekend of fun with your family and friends, which is what this thing is all about anyway and why I continue to do it
5. It’s my calendar and I’ll release it when I darn well please. Thank you very much.

For those new to this party, and there are several of you, I will re-state the rules, for those veterans out there please forgive me for giving a short explanation and allow your attention to wander freely if you’d like. (thanks for that line Albus! – 10 pts for your house if you can tell me which Harry Potter book that’s paraphrased from).

So the Rules:

• I live in the central time zone, the times on this calendar reflect that, adjust accordingly for those that have traveled north of the Mason Dixie Line or spread your wings out West. Don’t call me cause you missed your “favorite” show/movie, that’s not my mess. Be a big girl or boy and crank up that DVR and find out when it comes on again cause odds are it will.
• Time Zones are hard and sometimes I screw up the conversion from Eastern Time Zone to Central. See Note above for how I feel about you finding a mistake of time on the calendar.
• Unless otherwise stated the times are PM, this calendar is also geared towards the after work hours of life cause well it’s about me and that’s when I can watch. My office won’t like it if I watch these movies at my desk as I format documents, I mean I do that but they don’t really like it. Feel free to check out these channels and look at the day time viewing for those that are able cause it’s there but I’m at work so it doesn’t exist in my world.
• Lastly this calendar shows things I want to see, movies and specials that take me back to my childhood or that just make me happy. Some are kid themed and some are more adult oriented. PLEASE be mindful of that before you sit down with your little and they can’t sleep cause Freddy might get them. That’s your mess not mine. Seriously don’t be that person and there’s always one. This is supposed to be for fun, if you make it not be for fun well you won’t get it next year. PS if you don’t get this one you don’t get the Christmas one either so be sure that’s what you need/want before firing off that e-mail. This isn’t social media where you can say whatever you want without consequences.  
• I have been doing this calendar since at least 2008, and have learned over the years that saving it to your phone so you can check it on the fly is the best way. I do that either as a JPEG or PDF so I make both available cause I’m awesome like that. When I print it, and I do, I print it 11X17 but 8.5X11 is often good enough, especially this year with so much additional space on it.

Now I must warn you … these networks have some kind of dyslexia cause I have noticed that they will show the movies and their sequels sometimes in order sometimes but often not so much …. I’ve only listed one or the ones I want to try and catch in the idea that if you are watching you will also be alerted that the next show after Halloween Town is well Halloween Town 2.  In the case of Halloween or Friday the 13th or even Nightmare on Elm Street when there are more sequels than the Queen had jewels (RIP Liz) they really got dumb. Like on one day (same network mind you) they show Halloween 6 (1995)…then 4 (1988 ß My favorite BTW) …then 5 (1989)…then resurrection (2002), then H20 (1998), and then end the day with the original from 1978. Like what?! I get it ..show the popular ones when more are watching but that just made my head hurt and now I gotta go lay down.

As always I’ve highlighted shows I hope to catch in purple but also wanted to alert you to a few items of note below, assuming that you are still with me and if so …. Wow congrats!

Freeform - 31 Nights of Halloween – They 100% understand the assignment. I will admit when they went from ABC Family to whatever they were then to Freeform I was nervous. However I think they know what their core audience wants so for the entire Month of October (and for Christmas they do even more (Nov/Dec)) they show seasonal programing all month long. That’s not to say that everything they air is worthy of your time, or that they aren’t re-airing things so much it feels like watching MTV on the weekend, but if you are looking for something the littles can watch, that they will enjoy and you will too grab a chair, get a blanket, and some popcorn and enjoy. This is my go-to when I can’t find anything else to watch that particular evening.  

Syfy - 31 Days of Halloween – SYFY also understands the assignment. If Freeform is where you go with your littles, SYFY is where you go after your littles trot off to bed. It’s truly the greatest place to watch Halloween fun this time of year cause they don’t hold back at all. They show classics and new movies and everything in between. This year they are even showing Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 (which he had to make after screwing up the Halloween franchise (that’s not just my opinion btw which is law of course, but by his own admission he knew he messed up and had to fix it – seriously don’t watch the first one, after a horrible 15-30 minutes it’s a freaking shot by shot remake of the original Halloween but not even as good if that’s possible. . . but his second one more than made up for it). If you are looking good ole horror … this is the place you need to land nightly. Tho where’s my Texas Chainsaw Massacre, where’s my SAW, where’s My Bloody Valentine, Resident Evil, Leprechaun, BLAIR FREAKING WITCH? At this point I’d even take Jessica Biel in her two tight white t-shirt and low slung pants in my face for 2 hours, or even ……. Candyman……  just to see something different. NOTE: While this calendar is not about series who have a horror type twist, I am going to break this rule to tell you all to checkout Reginald the Vampire when it premier’s on SYFY Oct. 5^th cause it looks like it’s going to be great fun and it’s my rule and I can break it if I wanna!!!!

AMC - Fear Fest starts – AMC is where you go for Classic horror. I admit over the years I’ve had a love hate relationship with Fear Fest over the years cause at one point the Walking Dead took it over and I ranted that it’s not about the Walking Dead or the many spin offs and talk shows it created. However I do admit that they have over 80 shows over the next few weeks that kind of make up for it. This year they appear to be having a Stephen King love fest (Pet Cemetery, Misery, Carrie, etc) instead of Fear Fest but I’m not even mad at that. Thei programing this year includes lots of Friday the 13^th, House of Wax (the original and I believe the Chad Michael Murray/Paris Hilton versions), Thirteen Ghosts, Jeepers Creepers and btw CandyMan makes an appearance (that’s 2) on this channel several times.

Fox – The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror - The Simpson's Halloween special on Fox is going to have 2 specials for their annual "Treehouse of Horror.” Instead of breaking it up into several smaller stories they will have 2 episodes that focus on a singular Halloween themed fun one of which will include a Pennywise spoof! According to their Twitter the It Spoof will air Oct. 23^rd so at least we know when that one will air!

Hallmark – Fall Harvest - Halmark is debuting several “fall” themed movies (not scary but puts you in the mood for that Pumpkin Spiced Latte I guess). Many of these movies debuted in a few months ago and are re-airing now but there are a few “premieres” that will hit the screen that I’ve highlighted on the calendar. If you are looking for Fall but not scary or gory … these are your people. Watch them now before they go into full on Christmas meltdown. These don’t rate high on my list but I like to throw some stuff on there for you guys sometimes too.  

Disney Channel – Monstober - Halloween themed related movies and shows throughout the month and as the faithful to this calendar know ..that’s not what this is about but they do have a few “original movies” that might be worth your time or just fire up Disney Plus and watch Hocus Pocus. The fact they have not embraced Disney+ and re-aired some of their classics is something I will never understand.

Turner Classic Movies - This might be the last time TCM shows up on my calendar cause my cable provider has decided that I don’t deserve Ted’s classic movies (throw back to those old enough to remember how it all started). However, I love the nod to “classic” horror and the shows that can’t be found elsewhere. There is an ap for this one but it is stupid expensive and so I haven’t bit the bullet on that one just yet. So, enjoy it while you can, if you can. It appears Vampires are the name of the game this year Tho they also show things like The Ghost Ship and Spider Baby, Frankenstein, and the 2001 : A Space Odyssey so it’s not all blood suckers this year.

Food Network - Once again Food Network jumped the Halloween gun by airing most of their programing in September, which totally makes sense. Halloween Baking Championship started Sep. 12^th Halloween Wars started Sep. 18^th, Halloween Cookie Challenge started Sep. 26^th …. I’m done with you Food Network … however there are a few bright spots. Outrageous Pumpkins starts Oct. 2^nd    Kids Baking Championship Trick or Treat starts Oct. 17^th if you are interested in that kind of thing.

Let’s talk Digital … since that’s all the rage …

Ok … Digital and Streaming is taking over and thus TV is only interested in keeping their heads above water not special programing no matter the season. Heck my nephews don’t even have cable anymore. So, they use the calendar to look up show names as opposed to setting DVRs. I knew it was coming and this calendar was my way of trying to keep it at bay, but it’s still sad to me that we are in fact here. That you can only see the Great Pumpkin if you have Apple TV+ (unless PBS brokers some deal again – if they are I’m not finding it yet but it’s my sincere belief that they are currently in a room having those talks), or Disney+ is the only place to see Hocus Pocus 2 (available Sep 30^th) , or Peacock is where you go to see the epic conclusion to the Halloween franchise (Halloween Ends available Oct. 14^th) as we know it. While it’s fun having these shows at our fingertips it also takes away from the anticipation of it, at least to me. That I am sorry I can’t do anything that night cause whatever is on and I don’t wanna miss it moments are now a thing of the past. Heck even most network TV will be on Hulu within 24-48 hours, so go have dinner with that friend after work and don’t worry NCIS whatever will be available online tomorrow.

So for my digital folks, of which I admit I am now one, see the links below but I will admit that all of me believes if we calculated up the “subscriptions” for all these services we’d see that Cable had its advantages.

The Best Halloween Movies to Watch on Netflix, Disney+, HBO Max, and More in 2022 - TV Guide

Best Halloween TV Shows to Stream in 2022 (people.com)

The Best Halloween TV Show Episodes Ever (movieweb.com)

Peacock October 2022 Movies, TV Series and Sports (vitalthrills.com)

Netflix Launches Its "Streams & Screams" Hub for Halloween Horror (comicbook.com)

In closing, assuming you are still with me and God only know why you would be, the intention of this calendar, is to get you and your loved ones to pause and spend some time making memories. Maybe carve a pumpkin while watching, create some fantastic Halloween Treats from your various Social Media sites while watching, or work on your costume – don’t forget the props - and RELAX  and unwind from the busy work day, work week.

 

So, sit back, scare yourself, and have a GREAT Halloween! It’s fall people enjoy it!

Marcy