Thankfulness Challenge - Friendship

This is gonna be another short post just to keep the challenge alive. My father was able to talk his friend into coming over for dinner and I want to join them. They have been friends for decades, working with each other for many of those years. His wife is very sick and has recently moved to a rehab facility. He's been running at both ends for about 6 months and a home cooked meal is the least we can do. However why I am joing them is the stories that they tell from their work life. It fascinates me to hear their stories and listen to how much they remember from those days when everyone just did all they had to do to get the job done. 

I'm going to listen and absorb.... have a great night

Marcy

I’m disappointed

I have to admit that I’m disappointed in the lack of #MonthLongCelebrationofGolden tweets I’m seeing on my twitter timeline. It’s like Golden and I are the only ones partaking in this wonderful event and that’s a damn shame. Maybe you guys don’t realize the awesomeness that is Golden. So I thought I’d share just a few of the things that make her so awesome.

1.     She’s very loving, I mean really once you get to know her you learn that she’s got a heart of gold. She’d literally do anything she can for the people around her. She loves to surprise people with little things that will make them smile from a surprise bag of fun before a trip to leaving bags of fun for strangers. She’s truly amazing that way.

2.     She’s loyal as hell. She will follow someone to the end of the earth if she believes in the cause/person enough and does not require her to put on pants.

3.     She’s very knowledgeable about many different types of things, which makes a conversation with her endlessly fascinating. From the latest geekery to religion, to movies and tv shows, oh and books she’s constantly reading and thus her brain just continues to fill with both useful and useless facts that she can bounce off people at will.

4.     She’s funny, like makes me fall out of my chair funny. The way she tells a story paints a picture in one’s head that as a wanna be writer I long to emulate but often fail to do so. It’s really the only thing about her that I truly hate and envy at the exact same time. The worst part is she doesn’t really work at it it’s completely organic.

5.     She’s creative as hell. As an artist she is able to see things that other people can’t even imagine but she can not only see it she makes it a reality.

6.     She’s great at her job, it’s not an easy job and frankly not even one I thought she’d be interested in but she’s very good at it. She treats the people she takes care of like humans something they don’t get often by people.

Golden is at this very moment thinking about doing a twitter give a way so that she can share the joy of her BIRTHMONTH with the world. How can you not love someone like that. Someone who literally wants to take her moment and make it special for someone else.

 

So I want each and every one of you to start flooding her timeline with funny pictures, notes wishing her a happy birthday, any and everything you think would make her smile and do it now cause May 31^st will be here soon and thus the end of her Birthmonth. We can’t have that day come without some fan fair.

 

Now follow Golden on twitter so that you can get in on her Birthmonth surprise cause trust me you are gonna want to be a part of that!

-Marcy

 

May gave us Golden thus we Celebrate

As you may have heard, May not only has flowers after April showers, it’s also the month that gave us the greatness that is GOLDEN.

I’m not saying she’s forcing me to write this, cause she’s not but seriously she would if she lived closer to me, but alas she does not. Frankly the only bad thing about our friendship is that neither of us have created a portal that would allow us to move back and forth between my house and hers, which is really a damn shame and I blame science. Then again I also think we should build a giant oscillating fan on the tip of Florida so that we can blast hurricanes back out into the Gulf of Mexico but no one wants to take that one on either. COME ON SCIENCE WHAT THE HELL !!!! GET ON THAT too!!!! I mean really what ARE they doing with their time, grant money, and talents. I believe that the portal needs to be a priority and would totally solve so many problems. Travel time would be shorter, so people would see more of the world; awesome things would become accessible to more people; Twitter friends could connect in person and no one would care about the price of gas…damn it always comes back to gas doesn’t it.

 

Wait …. Um…. This was supposed to be about Golden …. Must get back on track. You may be wondering why I’m sending this on the Month Long Celebration of Golden Eve well that’s because during the epic start of this holiday extravaganza (May 1^st) I’ll be getting myself ready to go to New Orleans for the weekend. I’m going to Jazz Fest and it’s going to be AWESOME! The main attraction in Sir Elton John, but there are a ton of other great bands playing on Saturday, the only day that I can go due to an ever ending insane work schedule. By the way that’s another use of the portal, I could have gone to Jazz Fest when ever I wanted, I could go to a Broadway show, and Golden could join us for Jazz Fest. I mean if we had the portal we could see the man in his Vegas show, hell we could spend every weekend in Vegas, the possibilities are endless, but only if Science gets off their ass and makes it happen. Looking at you future nerds, this should be your cause, your focus.

Look at it .. it could be so pretty!!!!!!!

The point is I miss Golden, portal or no portal I am in serious need of a “Golden fix” sure we text, we tweet, we stay connected but it’s not the same as sitting and laughing with her in person, and goodness knows we laugh a LOT at each other, at others, at Lulu, at her nieces, just literally every moment spent with her is a good one for my soul. (too much?!)

 

So I thought with all these kids getting ready to graduate both high school and college I thought I’d give them the secret … We work to keep this friendship going far beyond the miles between us. See here’s what they don’t tell you, the friends that mean something to you, the ones that really count, you’ll make time for, you’ll make the effort to keep in touch. Those that don’t will become every once in a while friends that you talk to “when you think about it” or more importantly when “they” think about it.

Both Golden and I have friends from college and high school that we rarely talk to anymore, and I have made it my business that I don’t become that friend for her. With Golden working “non-traditional” hours we don’t have our 3 hour gab fests during the weekend like before, but now we text throughout the day, at night, on the weekends, and are forever connected by this device always in my hand/pocket. This is why my phone has unlimited data. She knows I am literally a text a way and more important I know she is also a text away. Sure we still talk every once in a while, sometimes you just have more to say than can be said in text, and now when we talk it’s literally about EVERYTHING from work drama, to family drama, movies/TV shows we’ve recently watched, books we’ve recently read (or want to read), literally any and every single thing is on the table and it’s not uncommon for both of us to have to charge our phones during the conversation or become dead to the world for hours.

 

My point is there are people in your life worthy of a 31 day celebration and Golden is definitely that person.

It’s not something I do for everyone but for Golden it’s not even a chore. Her Birthday comes once a year, the rest of the time she asks for very little but gives to many so I can take 31 days to show her how awesome she is and make her birthday the best one ever at least until next year.

 

It doesn’t take much, really any acknowledgement of her birthmonth is a win for her, so hit her up on twitter, you’ll be glad you did cause let’s face it no one can tell a story like Golden, don’t believe me, ask her about her big ass crack baby dog, Lulu, climbing up a tree to get a bird’s nest then being unable to get down Golden had to scale said tree and … well she tells it better than me. Ask her … you won’t be disappointed in her answer.

So over the next 31 days or so i'll post several times telling you just what makes Golden worth of this Month Long Celebration but sadly unless you really get to know her you'll never really understand it so hit that follow button and join the fun! @theonlygolden --- cause it's true there's not another Golden that even comes close to her!

Happy Birthmonth Golden let’s get this Celebration started!!!

-marcy

Thankfulness Challenge - Day 20

Friendship is pretty fantastic. Seeing a text from a friend, or getting a phone call and seeing your friend’s face pop up on your screen, or knowing that in XX days you’ll see a friend for the first time in a long while fills you with excitement, anticipation, and happiness. Friends can take a crappy day and make it great, or take a great day and make it crappy …it’s a two way street people. However today I’m going to focus on the good things that a friendship can do for a person.

Many years ago, nearly 10, a “Kelly girl” was hired to work in the department near mine, she wasn’t in my department but we sat near one another. This led to us going to lunch, and talking at the printer, and getting to know one another. She was an older lady and she fascinated me with everything she’s done. She used to manage a bar, she worked at a tax place, she’s lived in more states than I’ve visited, and she was really nice to me. Being an older lady she didn’t take anything from anyone, if she didn’t like something you did she told you, if she didn’t care for the way someone was acting she was not shy about it. As a younger person still unsure of herself in the professional world I watched her closely and learned a lot.

A few years ago she was diagnosed with COPD which scared the hell out of me, cause there was nothing I could do to help her. I learned how to use her oxygen tank, just in case. I got her husband’s cell phone number on speed dial, just in case. I watched her like a hawk now for more than just learning how things work, just in case. She’d have a coughing fit and I’d get nervous cause she literally couldn’t breathe. I told her once that I wouldn’t get too worried until I heard the thud of her hitting the desk. Which made her laugh which caused a coughing fit.

Then last year around Christmas/New Year’s she got pneumonia which literally almost took her down. She was in the hospital for several weeks, at one point on a ventilator which was the only thing keeping her alive. I was so afraid that we were going to lose her and at several points we almost did. However my friend is a fighter. From an early age when she was raising her daughter alone, then raised her grandson, with the help of her current husband, her life has been one battle after another. The stories she has told me from the days of running a bar, to having the love of her life (until she met her current husband anyway) hand her a gun and ask her to literally blow his head off when he was sick with terminal cancer make me cry and also see how strong she is.

She would have to have enough in her for one more battle. A few months before she retired she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was super bad on one side and kinda bad on the other side. After the initial shock of hearing the “C” word it start to sink in just what she had to face. It never crossed my mind that she wouldn’t beat this, I don’t know why but I just, from day one, felt like she wouldn’t have survived her pneumonia just to die from this. That this was just a part of her story, a chapter in her book but not the entire book. I told her this one day over lunch and she started to cry. After her pneumonia scare she was really emotional (still is really), and could lapse into crying at the drop of a hat. She thanked me because “you never treated me like a sick person.” Everyone at the office treated her like she was sick, and treated her with kid gloves and I guess I just treated her like … her. She has told me several times since that she really appreciated that.

As I said from day one I never thought that she was in trouble. What makes me write this is that I saw my friend today for the first time since her double mastectomy. We walked into her house with dinner for her family, a surprise visit kind of, and she looked and sounded amazing. She laughed that she lost 10 pounds with her surgery, I said see there you go almost ready for a bathing suit. She laughed, then coughed and laughed some more. Her husband hugged us and told her that our coming over made her so happy, he said she lights up when we are around and she laughs more. We surprised her on the day of her surgery by showing up before so she’d know we were with her in spirit. We knew she wouldn’t want us to come up after her surgery when she’s in and out of the medicine and not feeling well. He told us then that the second she saw us walking up her demeanor changed. She was calmer, and she was smiling something she wasn’t doing before we got there. I told him that she didn’t have to be brave for us like she did him and her daughter. She means the world to me and while I can’t do much for her at the moment I can at least be there for her and keep her positive and upbeat cause while her doctors, nurses, and medicines are a big part of her recovery her positive attitude and upbeat nature will get her far as well.

So today … more than ever I’m thankful that my friend is still on this earth, that she was able to give me a hug and laugh with me today. Here’s hoping for more days where I sit across from her because I’m not finished learning from her. She’s my hero. I want to be her when I grow up!

Marcy

Make time for friends ….

I just got home from having dinner with a few dear friends. Every time we leave we say let’s not let this much time lapse before we do this again. We all used to work together but life has taken us on different paths and now it’s like an event when we get together. It takes weeks to set a date that works for everyone. Then we start the process of deciding where we are going to go. I hate that. The biggest decision is picking a place with good adult beverages. Since I usually get the same adult beverage, a jack and coke, it really does not matter to me where we go, just that we go is what’s important to me. One decision we never have to make … what time. The time is always as fast as you can get there after work.

It’s weird when people come and go in your life, like one day they are there and in your everyday world then boom all of the sudden they are gone and in your every once in a while life. It’s funny how quickly that happens. They don’t teach you that in school. How to deal with your support person’s absence. There are some people who just get it, they understand what you are going through, either because they are in it too or they have been in it, and to wake up one day and realize they aren’t around is difficult. However life being what it is you learn to deal, learn to get by without that person until you hang out with them and the ache is back.

I have another ex-work friend, not the one I had dinner with tonight, who has breast cancer. She’s an older lady who was looking forward to retirement when her body screwed her and she was diagnosed with pretty aggressive cancer. She still retired, just delayed her travel plans and while we still keep in touch but it’s not the same. Instead of every day check ins  as we pass one another in the hallways, or hurried lunches, we now do quick text messages to say "hi" or "how’s it going" or the one that really hurts ... "I miss you!" She and I have been trying to get together for lunch for nearly two months. Before DragonCon I was super busy at work and just couldn’t get away, after the Con I was sick and didn’t want to be around in her in an already compromised state. I miss her, I really do. I want to see her, I want to talk to her, when we get together her hug gets a little tighter and a lot longer. It’s almost like neither of us want to let go for fear that it could be the last time we get that hug.

I have some friends I grew up with that I can go months without thinking about and then someone sends a text or a facebook message and we all jump on board and have dinner or meet at one of their houses and we spend hours catching up. These ladies remind me of my childhood. We laugh about things only they would understand cause they lived it with me. When I’m around them I’m reminded of the good days, the fun we had and I can’t think of why we’ve gone an hour not talking to one another let alone months or sadly years. We talk about their husbands, their kids, their divorces, and it’s crazy to me that life has happened while we aren’t paying attention.

I have another ex co-worker who was like my rock, the one I went to when I was having a horrible day and needed to be talked off my ledge I haven’t seen or talked to in several years. When she left we got together a few times for dinner or drinks after work, caught up on life and the drama of the office but it’s been literally years since I’ve talked to her. I keep thinking I’ll call her then don’t. I think about it at such odd ball times like early in the morning at an ungodly hour when no one should be awake much less calling others, or late at night when on the other side of that spectrum. I keep saying it’s ok cause she hasn’t called me either but the truth is I miss her and I’m going to set an alarm on my phone to call her this weekend.

That’s all it takes. That one person to pick up the phone, to send a text, or e-mail or message on social media to spark that connection again. Once that initial contact is made it’s all about keeping it going. I’ve always felt like the people that really matter will be around, but sometimes those people also need a shove. So consider this your shove dear reader. Get on your phone and contact that person you’ve been thinking about before it’s too late. You’ll be glad you did and you’ll thank me for it. Who knows maybe you’ll learn that the person has drifted away for a reason and you can stop obsessing or thinking about that person or you’ll reconnect that relationship that you really need in your life for your sanity.

Good luck – Marcy

Original Fiction --YIPPIE!!!

Ok…. So today while working on my Halloween TV calendar, I had volleyball on in the background. I can’t remember the two teams playing (AKA it wasn’t Auburn) but it got me thinking about a story I wrote while at that wonderful university. I’ve spent the day sending inspirational/positive notes to a friend of mine on Twitter who is at a cross roads in her life. I told her she deserves to take a chance on herself. It’s funny to me that I can see that for other people but not for myself. So while it’s original fiction it’s not a story I just wrote the other day, that one still isn’t done and is starting to make me mad. In the meantime I’m sharing this one, I’m super proud of it and it often reminds me that at some point I did have talent. I just have to find it again, much like Mrs. Erika! :D So ...here goes...

“Friendship”

In love and life, nothing is certain. I learned that the hard way. I was 22 years old, and instead of getting ready for class, I drove to see my best friend for the last time. As I got off I-10, towards West Mobile, our relationship replayed in my brain, from the day we met until our last conversation, only a few days ago. We met in middle school, he sat behind me in home-room, but it wasn’t until high school that our friendship grew into something more than just acquaintances.

I was a senior and on the volleyball team. Steven was a recruit from our coach to help with the equipment. He was around all the time anyway, so she put him to work. We rode to school together in my dad’s Volkswagen convertible, so it was either wait for me, or walk home from school. I think he would have stayed anyway. His job was to keep the balls inflated, get linesmen for the games, and put up the net before practices and the games since we shared the court with the basketball team. There was plenty for him to do. Plus he was able to hang out with twelve girls every afternoon, so he didn’t mind the work.

During my senior year, I was thinking about college and he was getting ready to enter the work place something that, to this day, I hate. He was a smart guy and deserved college but the money just wasn’t there. It was hard for me to think about going to school without him sitting in the car next to me, something that we talked about only once.

“Why don’t you get a job in Tuscaloosa, then we can still be together?” I asked with a slight smile on my face, knowing he couldn’t do it.

             “Because,” he informed me between bites of his breakfast, a Snickers bar and a Pepsi, “that would make coming for a visit a lot less interesting.”
             “No, really,” I said, as I stole his drink. “How can I step on the court without you being there in my cheering section?”
             “Section? No offense my friend, but one person and your mom does not constitute a section. You’re going to do great. Just remember when you dive use your knee pads.” He started to laugh and I was happy when he started to choke on his ‘breakfast of champions.’

It was the one thing that I constantly had problems with on the court. My kneepads were always too low, or too high, usually ending my practices early.

             “Just stop diving,” Steven told me one day after an encounter with the floor.

My face was in a grimace as we walked back to the locker room to get my knee iced up. “It’s not like I go out there with the intention, to break my knee,” I told him.  I was determined not to cry as he started to wrap my knee. “Ow! That’s too tight. Damn, Steven, are you trying to kill me?”

             “Sorry. Should I go get coach? It seems to be really bad this time.” He never stopped wrapping my knee as he rolled his eyes at me.
             “No, and you have to swear that you won’t tell her. I’ll be ok. If she thinks I’m hurt then she’ll pull me out of the game Friday. That can’t happen. The scout from Florida is coming to look at me, and it’s my only ticket away from Alabama.”
             “So, I shouldn’t sign the lease on that apartment in ‘loosa, just yet, huh?”

 He gave me a tight smile and blinked several times; it was ok. I was blinking, too. The difference was if I started to cry I could blame it on my knee. He had no excuse. He left before the blinking no longer worked to stop his tears.

It didn’t matter because the scout from Florida wasn’t impressed. I barely made it through warm-ups and after the third service game my volleyball career was over. Sitting in the locker room crying while my team played on was the lowest point; I felt like I had let my team down, but more importantly I’d let myself down. There would be no scholarship, and no volleyball in college.

“Why didn’t you tell me she was hurt?” Coach Davis yelled at him.

             “Because she really wanted to play. I thought if she was really hurt she would tell you.”
             “Oh, please. You know her better than that.”

They both turned their attention to me and helped me out to my mother’s car. Truth be told Steven knew how bad I wanted that scholarship, and how bad that I wanted to play in college, so even if he knew my knee was broken he wouldn’t have told anyone.

I still went to the practices and games; after all, I was still on the team even if I couldn’t play. Now, I was the one sitting around waiting on Steven. He would get his stuff done, steal a ball away from the team, and we would set it back and forth until the coach needed him. He still believed that I could play in college; it was at a local park that he would learn the truth. We had gone to the park to study for mid-terms, but never opened a book.

            “So, when do you get your brace off? I’m tired of having to help you walk around school.”

            “Soon, I hope. I’m tired of you being everywhere I go.”
            “Think you’ll get to play in the final game?”
            “Steven, I’m not going to be playing volleyball this year or in college.”
            “Sure you will. It will just take a while to get back to speed, but you’ll play again. Stop being so dramatic.”
            “I’m not being dramatic. The doctor told me that one more hard hit, and surgery is the only option left. You know how I feel about surgery, and doctors. So I won’t be playing anymore.”
            “Damn, you’re serious aren’t you? That sucks. Are you ok?”
            “I have no choice but to be ok with it.”

I started to cry, and that’s why we never opened a book. He moved over so I could cry on his shoulder. It was the moment when I knew I didn’t want to leave him behind. I told him that and he laughed at me until he realized I was serious.

“So I guess your choices for schools have again changed. I wish you would make up your mind. I’m tired of having to buy you a new sweatshirt for each different school.” He opened his book bag and pulled out three sweatshirts-one for each school that I had considered.

I ended up going away to school as planned, with no major even thought about. I had two years to decide, which ended up being three years because as soon as I chose a major, it changed. I am now a semester away from graduation, and two weeks from finals, but all that is on the back burner as I pull up to the church. My black dress and heels would have had him dying with laughter. It just wasn’t me. He had only seen me in a dress once and it was at graduation: an event that we both spent the day laughing at because it was easier to laugh than it was to cry. He hadn’t wanted me to go away, but he didn’t want me to stay either. He knew how badly I wanted -no- needed to get away from this town. It was four years of e-mails, long distance phone calls, and snail mail letters, now all ending. Steven was no longer going to be with me, in the car or in my cheering section. I couldn’t decide if I was angry with him or just angry. I wanted him to be ok. I wanted to go back to a few days earlier, when he was driving home from work and that guy ran that red light. I wanted that guy to step on the brake and for Steven to be laughing at my dress.

After the funeral, which several of our friends from high school attended, his mother walked over to me. Her hair was messy, and she looked tired, but I guess so did I. She hugged me. The ring that Steven’s dad had given her when he was born dug into my back. She gave me an envelope and said, “He really loved you. You know that, don’t you?” I nodded, because the words didn’t come. I was glad that I’d decided to not wear makeup. I’m sure the mascara would have been running down my face, like the filling inside an Oreo on a hot day.

I walked to my car, no longer the convertible Volkswagen of all those years before, and got in. The envelope had pictures of the two of us from high school and those summer visits home, one from when we went to get our driver’s licenses. He was wearing that damn hat, the one with the New Orleans Saint’s logo. It was so old. It looked like it had been under a house for years, with rats living in it. His mother would wash it but it never came clean; the hat was white, but no one could tell. He wore it everywhere; I started to cry because I wanted to see him in that hat again. For all the times it use to make me mad, this time I would have been glad to see it. He brought it to our high school graduation but didn’t wear it, just wanted to make me smile. He could always do that; make me smile.

There was a CD in the envelope as well; I pulled it out and popped it into the CD player. It was a bunch of songs about friends doing things.

The Jacket cover of the CD was so him. The names of the titles were all over the place, with little phrases under them about the song. “You can’t have a friend Cd without this song,” was under You’ve Got a Friend by James Taylor. Other songs included One, Two I Love You by Clay Walker, a song about two people who are friends since they were children; Let’s Get Together by the Young Bloods; and a song from a Winnie The Pooh CD called, Friends Forever. My mom bought us that CD when we graduated and told us it was because that one song was just us. The chorus of the song is that “Some things are just meant to be and that’s you and me.” The last song on the CD was Jimmy Buffett’s version of Brown Eyed Girl, because as Steven told me on so many occasions, “Every CD had to have a Jimmy Buffett song.”

I pulled out of the parking lot heading back to school, listening to it and thinking of him when his voice came out of my speakers, causing me to choke on my Snickers bar. In the background as he talked was Garth Brooks, singing A Friend to me: “Well you and I, we’re buddies, and we’ve been since we first met.” Garth faded out and Steven faded in. 

“Hey girl! I know I talked to you on the phone last night, but you sounded down so I wanted you to have a CD that would make you think of all the good things we have done and know I’ll always be there with you. If for one second you get sad, throw it out the window, but make sure the police aren’t watching, cause I’m not helping you pay the fine. I just wanted you to know that I do miss you and can’t wait until we are together again just hanging out. I miss you and well... I’ll deny ever saying this if you ask me in the future, but… I love you.”

I had to pull off the road as Garth Brooks finished singing “Yes, you’ve always been a friend to me.” It was as if he were telling me it was all ok. I never knew how he always knew what to say to me just when I needed it said, but I’m glad at least someone did. I wasn’t sure how I was going to go on knowing that he was gone, but this CD was going to help. I silently thanked him as I started up the car and drove back to school, finals, and a life without my best friend.

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So there it is …. drop me a line…. Hit me up on twitter @beaslma or leave a comment below…. Should I keep  going?!

--Marcy