I have confiscated my moms computing device while she is in a sick med coma. She uses this damn thing all the time but I can't figure it all out. Sometimes she talks into it and then 20 minutes later some dude shows up with food. I wish I could figure that shit out. This kibble says chicken flavored but the only way I'm gonna believe that is if it's the ass end of a chicken.
So anywho.... Mom went off for about a week, and I threw down! I had my crew come over and we sat around playing poker for awhile. Had a few rubbish hands dealt me, but still walked away the winner. But I mean come on, we all know the house always wins.
Mom and her friends weren't gone long before an acquaintance of mine, Pablo Escobark, stopped by with my weekly energy supplements. I guess at this point I should probably provide the disclaimer that drugs are bad and in no way do I, Tallulah-Toulouse "LuLu" Dean, encourage any being to partake in such illegal activities.
Pablo hung out awhile before heading back home. Before the night was over the cat looked like a skunk from us doing so many lines off it's back! Lol it's cool, that cat is a total douche.
We all had a pretty great time until my grandparents showed up. I was barely able to get everybody out the back before they came in. The house was fucking trashed man! There was nothing I could do, fabreeze only covers so much! The rad thing was, though, that I got in no trouble! None! I know, I couldn't believe it either. They spent all day cleaning up & talking about what a messy house my mom keeps. Un-fucking-believable! I just got snacks, toys, attention and all the belly rubs I wanted. Just when I thought mom was never coming back, she did. It seemed like she was gone forever but in all honesty, she could have been gone for 20 minutes. I wasn't really paying attention.
I guess I was excited to see Mom. I mean for the most part she's cool. Sometimes she gets on my nerves. Like last week, I was trying to track something thru the yard and all she wanted to do is chase me around dancing and singing some shit about doing the time warp again. Seriously, what the fuck mom! So embarrassing! The neighbor dogs were out & saw everything. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?! But she isn't always like that. And even though I refused to tell her, I did kind of miss her. But i don't want her getting the wrong impression, like I can't make it without her. She would never leave!
She's been sick since coming back but she will probably be better soon. All she seems to do is take meds, go into a coma state, wake up, feed me & that asshole cat, take meds and go back into her coma. Over and over. As a matter of fact she should be waking soon. I wonder if I can get this posted before she does. Well I guess I will catch you two legged weirdos later. I'm gonna hide all of her left shoes before she wakes up. No reason why, I just like fucking with her.
-Peace, love & kibble!
LuLu
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