Sunday, January 20, 2019

Avoidance is not the answer

So in a few weeks I’m going to be ….. 40 …… it’s not a huge deal to me but the people around me have made it a HUGE deal and I’m not sure what to do about it. When people at work find out it’s “the big 4-0” their eyes glaze over and they get this huge grin on their face like they have this huge secret that they can’t wait to share. 


Why is 40 a big deal? Then again why was 10…21….30…. etc…. I mean let’s face it the last good birthday was my 16th when I got my license. Well let’s be honest that one wasn’t the greatest …. my mom and I sat at the DMV all day long waiting on them to call my name. It was raining that morning so we were on the list but they wouldn’t let us take the drivers test in the rain. The rain was supposed to let up so we stayed. Then lunchtime came and they gave us a card so we’d be number 1 after their lunch break. We went to a nearby Pizza Hut for lunch (buffet if I recall) then rushed back to the DMV. It was sunny and beautiful during the lunch break and they were getting ready to start calling names (mine was to be first) when it started flooding again. I nearly burst into tears. Around 4 they told us it was too late and we’d have to come back the next day. I was devastated but the next day we came back and I was back at school by 11 with a new temporary license in my pocket. That’s the last birthday that really stood out to me. There was another while I was in college that I remember as well. My aunt threw a surprise party for me inviting my friends to her house. She had invited me for dinner and I really really didn’t feel like going. I believe Golden talked me into it and so I went. I ended up having a good time. My grandmother was there a few other aunts and some friends from school including Golden.

I do that a lot …. make plans….dread those plans ….. then finally drag my arse out of the house and really enjoy my time there. I’m really bad about that, or I end up talking myself out of something that could have been fun and then regret not going. I’m working on it I really am …. but I still suck at it.

It’s just easier not to and often by the end of the day I’m just spent and on the weekends I’m lazy. There was a ton of things I thought I’d get to this weekend laundry, cleaning, cleaning my car, fixing up some new music flash drives for my car. Know how many of those things I accomplished ……. NADA. I felt awful on Friday so I went to bed early (was asleep by 9), woke up late on Saturday, helped my mom wrap her legs, then we spent literally the entire afternoon making chicken gumbo which was fun and totally delicious but yeah that was my Saturday. Then Sunday came and I woke up, went to church, wen to lunch, came home and looked up and it was 4pm … like wait what just happened. So any plans I might have had were blown out of the water. Granted if I were better with my time I could do it but what’s the fun in that. 



Last Wednesday Vanessa Peters was playing at the Listening Room of Mobile, a great little place that is 100% devoted to music. If someone is in there and their phone rings or they are laughing and talking with their group not listening to the music then the owner helps them find the door. I’d go to the Listening Room way more often but the shows don’t start until 8pm --- usually closer to 8:30. I only make it down there when it’s something I really really want to see and this was Vanessa’s second visit. I knew when she was coming that I was definitely going but even then part of me wanted to bail. I didn’t tho and that’s a start. I hope to visit the Listening Room more often cause it really is a fantastic place to listen to music, even if their chairs suck! ha! 

I guess in the coming year I want to be more spontaneous taking advantage of the things that come my way when they come so I can enjoy them. Like my birthday I guess it could suck more to have people not be interested in my birthday or to take the time to celebrate me … I just don’t like being the center of attention. I’m more a blend into the wall kind of girl and it’s hard to do if everyone is looking in my direction.

What kind of things do you guys avoid even if you really want to do it ?

Marcy 

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