Happy New Year …. Some 12 days into the new
year but yeah you haven’t told me happy new year yet either so suck it! In prep
for this post I looked back at the previous year and you know what …. We didn’t
do half bad …. We didn’t do great mind you, I’m not at all saying I deserve a
pat on my back or anything but we had 8 various posts spread out through 6 different
months and to me that’s pretty darn good. Hey I was an average student who was
damn proud of a C, an A or B was better of course but I could live with a C. In
the real world no one cares if you got C’s ….. a friend recently told me "D stands for Diploma" and I thought well not really but maybe .... ha …. just saying.
Last year I shared some original writing, did
a few music posts about Eric Erdman and The Springs, shared my Social MediaBreak during lent, and my transition to a new phone - UPDPATE: I did go with the S9+ and LOVE it. So when I say it was a
variety of topics I’m not joking. My problem with this blog is that I often
think ohhhh I should write about my frustrations with never getting to go to a
movie in a theater and why it never seems to happen and how I hope that it will
happen more then something horrific happens in the world and I think well that just
seems assy now. I want to be a lot of things when I grow up but assy isn’t one
of them. So then I delete the word document and move on with my day. I used to
keep them thinking I’d post it later but then later never came or when I went back
to read it the post seemed silly and unnecessary cause I was no longer in that
frame of mind.
Last year was fun I went to our corporate
office for a “retreat” in Franklin, TN (got to take one of my coworkers on her
first flight which was really fun), went to DragonCon with Golden, saw several
concerts with my friend Katie including Def Leppard and Journey in New Orleans,
and capped off the year with Christina in Disney for Halloween. Now that I look
back at this blog … kind of should have shared more of those events with you guys. This year I have a concert with Vanessa Peters to look forward to (later this month), Kiss in Birmingham with Katie, Christina and I are trying to get a trip to AU pulled together, and of course Dragon Con with Golden. Did I mention that Golden and I will be in a host hotel for the first time and not just any host hotel but the mother of all host hotels … THE MARRIOT !!!!! I am so excited about this turn of events. There is also talk of sending me to a conference in March in Ashville NC but no confirmation on that from the powers that be. Hopefully I'll get off my duff and make those blog worthy cause they totes should be.
This past year I’ve also hesitated to write
anything for fear that someone might read it (AKA family) and get their feelings
hurt. I have since realized that I can’t let that hold me back. My mother
almost died twice this year, and while no one in my family reads this thing (that
I know of) I’d have hated one of them reading about some of our struggles and in
particular my frustrations throughout it since it wasn’t that we weren’t really
telling people about it but at first we didn’t know what to say. Here’s the
story ……. she was sick and instead of making her go to a doctor we let her “handle
it her way” until her way wasn’t working anymore. I finally forced the issue
and called 911 myself and if I hadn’t she would have bled to death within the
next 12-24 hours. She had a bleeding ulcer that was trying to perforate. She sat
in the ER all night long and well into the next day getting blood, losing blood
and waiting for someone to decide they were going to do something. At the same
time my father was on the other side of the hospital getting his pacemaker
replaced. Thank god for my brother, he was able to sit with mom while I was
with my dad and that was the longest 12-24 hours of my life. Once dad was done
we checked him out, drove him around the hospital (he wanted to see my mom), he
went back into the ER (by himself cause they wouldn’t let us go with him – one at
a time they said) while my brother and I hung out After leaving the ER at midnight
and being back at the hospital at 5 I was in zombie mode as the adrenalin was
wearing off. Then he took my dad home (later I discovered dad had him replace a
toilet and I was livid) and I went to sit with my mom who kept telling me to go
home and rest. She finally had surgery that afternoon around 4. They “fixed it”
but the doctor said she almost died on the table twice and he was shaking when
he said it which did not fill me with warm fuzzys. A week later she was home. Two
weeks after that we were back in the ER and this time they had to slice open
her stomache from side to side when they weren’t able to clamp and artery. That
one we really almost lost her. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks and in rehab
for 2 more weeks. She is now home and getting stronger every day but it was a
tough 2-3 months for sure. She claims if she sees blood again she’s not saying
anything cause that ordeal took a lot out of her. I hope that’s all talk but I also
am checking her more often now because of it. I feel like I’m in three lives
right now. My work life, my home life, and my by myself life. If I’m not
working or taking care of mom I’m in my room watching you tube trying to get
myself tired enough to sleep. I’m not sleeping well. I’m averaging about 4-5
hours a night but it’s interrupted sleep so I’d say I’m getting less than that.
I’m still moving however so that’s something I’m proud of. My father has been a
ROCK throughout this entire ordeal, who would have thought it. He has the bed side
manner of say Peter Griffin. He means well but often he’s just in the way but
this time I think he’s proving the definition of for better or for worse. God
love them they are a cute little couple. Dad’s running himself half ragged too
but he’s also pushing himself harder than I’d like. I keep telling him to take
some time for himself but I really think he’s “fixing mom” which is replacing some
of the guilt he has from “not being able to fix his mom” when he was working
and had two kids and Alzheimer’s is a **tch even if he doesn’t believe she had
it. She totes did but i'm not gonna argue with him about it just now.
So this
is a post to say Happy New Year and a post to keep this blog alive and to try
and get my voice back on this thing. I really do enjoy using this blog to share
my thoughts and gives with the world I just need to make it more of a priority. I'm nearly 40 (in like 15 days) so that's going to fun to share as well. It's a new decade for me … let's make it a good one.
Marcy
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