Holidays, weddings, and missing family

Oh my goodness it’s may and we have only had two bloc postings. That’s not going to cut it. I have read lately that a typical blog post is about 1,500 words. I don’t know how often I have adhered to that. I usually just pick a topic and write until I get done telling the story. For instance, today I am focused on the fact that it’s Memorial Day weekend. On a weekend I traditionally have driven to Golden’s house to fart around, watch movies, laugh, talk, play games, sleep, eat good food, see her family, sleep, and sometimes go to a book store. Ok most of the time we end up at a bookstore. Sometimes I even buy but mostly I browse. This of course didn’t happen this year but not because me and my partner in crime have had a falling out but because of a very special reason that I’ll talk about in a few minutes. I think she understands, I hope she does. Lord knows I look forward to these long weekends hanging out together and I think she does too. Afterall, when I come into town it’s one of the few reasons her job leaves her along (kind of) for a few days. She also gets someone that can play with Mighty other than herself.

The reason I didn’t make to see them this time is that my youngest nephew got married. I couldn’t imagine missing that not even for Golden. Love her but love him more. Friday was the rehearsal and Saturday was the big day. Today I am exhausted. It’s been a busy few days but I’ve also been sick all week long. It hit me light a freight train on last Saturday and Sunday threw me to the floor. Monday I went to the doc in a box and demanded a steroid shot which they gave me. That was it. Well they did give me cough medicine but it makes me dizzy so I can only take it at night. Tuesday I lost my voice. Wednesday it was gone completely. Thursday I couldn’t even make a sound. I put them on notice, cause I was supposed to read a passage of scripture as part of the service. At that moment I wasn’t sure I’d be able to. Friday I was making a little noise. I didn’t have a lot of volume tho. I tried to not talk very much but as festivities were happening that was harder cause I didn’t want to ignore people. Friday I was squeakey. I really wasn’t sure I could do it. I asked about an understudy. They really wanted me to do it and I really wanted to do it for them. I forged ahead. Prayed to every God I knew that my voice would come back even for that moment alone. My nearly 2 year old niece knows sign language which fascinates me. She can say more, she can say done, she can say thank you, she can say of course hi and bye, but the one I love most is her saying no more. As in I don’t want any more. I used that one a lot on Friday night. Begging people to stop talking to me so I could hold whatever was left for the reading.

Saturday morning came and I had a little more volume but it would come and go. I was readying 1 Corinthians chapter 13 … the one about what love is and what it means … I had been practicing for months. I walked up to the podium opened my mouth and talked. It wasn’t very confident but it was noise. It wasn’t squeaky and it didn’t crack so I call that a win. Immediately after the service my voice was gone again. I was back to a whisper only even the baby asked if I was ok. I was thrilled cause I had just enough juice to show up for two of the most important people in my circle on their biggest day. It was a beautiful service and the couple is leaving for their honeymoon on Monday. I’m so excited for them as they start this new chapter in their lives. At 22 it’s good to have all the important decisions out of the way. . . education . . . marriage … a job …. The rest will fall into place.

My other favorite human … my oldest nephew got married in 2023. His person had already graduated he was still in pharmacy school and they were ready to start their lives. I admit I don’t remember much about that day. I remember her being a lovely bride and him being very handsome in his suit but the details are fuzzy and not just because it’s been 3 years and a lot has happened in that time. Back in 2003, my mom had just gotten out of the hospital, after nearly dying, on Wed before the wedding. We had approval from her doctor that she could go but we needed to watch her. Make sure she was comfortable and as we drove the 3 hours to the service that we stop several times and let her walk around to reduce the opportunity for blood clots. My entire focus on that day was on her. Making sure she was comfortable, making sure she was able to get from point a to b and she did great all day. She was drug allover that church by the photographer and she took every step she was asked to take and more. It took her days to recover but it was a lovely day. Their wedding was in Montgomery, kind of the half way point between his family and hers. It was a cute church, more grand on the outside and more country church on the inside. We drove up on Friday and spent the night thinking that would make less stress on mom. Drove home that night after the wedding, leaving long before the young couple did. Looking back on the pictures I can remember a few things, like them doing communion with us, the ring bearer putting the ring box on his head and twirling around during the service, Andrew was his best man, as McNeil was to him, and McNeil almost losing it when he saw Tylin for the first time. Andrew too lost it seeing his bride come down the aisle. He was overcome with emotion most of the service but was able to do what he needed to do when it was time. I was really proud of him. You could tell how much this moment really meant to him. I am also taken a back by those at that ceremony who couldn’t be at this one for whatever reason. Grandmamma for one was very missed and yet her presence was all over the place. Someone even gave Andrew a pin to wear that had a picture of him and Grandmamma on it and it was a lovely touch. 

I am very blessed to have seen them both get to this point. I hope to be at many more milestones over the years to come. Watching McNeil dancing with his nearly 2 year old at Andrew’s wedding is something I’ll never forget. Having Andrew and his bride hunt me down to get a picture with me when there were so many others pulling on them makes me cry thinking about it right now. I’ve always said I loved being part of their everyday world and yesterday was just another example of that. I love being their Aunt it’s by far my favorite title.

So, while I miss my bestie…. I was exactly where I needed to be and I’m sure she understands, if not she will when it’s her nieces getting ready to walk down that aisle postponing all her plans.

Until next time, enjoy your memorial day holiday. Remember what it is about, focus on those who gave everything to allow us the freedom to enjoy it and hopefully at some point throw something on a grill get something cold to drink and talk to your family while it cooks. You will never regret doing that. Trust me.

Marcy (@beaslma)  

PS 12,84 words aint bad 😊

Rona ……. you scary!

So …. This weekend I did a thing. I packed a bag …. I got in a car and I traveled to the other side of my state. A good 340 miles, a little over 5 hours (give or take traffic/my brother’s lead foot etc.) and a crapton of anxiety about this decision. See my nephew is a JR. in High School. He’s run cross country in the past but over the last spring/summer he got really into it. Like almost annoyingly into it. It was all he talked about, all he thought about, all he did. Not that I’m complaining, the truth is if he’s going to be obsessed with something it might as well be this. So one day last spring he says to me, “One of my goals is to make it to State” I said I’m sure you will, you are definitely putting in the work. He said, “If I go to State will you come?” I was sitting in my chair, working from home cause of this damn virus, and he was at our house during the week cause he was out of school (doing virtual school) and helping my dad with a project. However it only took a moment for me to say, “Of Course! You make it to State and I’ll be there!” 

The way I see it he and I won’t have a lot of these moments left and well if it weren’t for this damn virus I’d have definitely been there. Little did I know that as a Country we’d suck at Pandemics. That we’d have a leader in the White House that convinced everyone it was fine when it was most definitely was not. That not only would we still be in the throws of it but in some parts of the world Round 2 would be getting underway. Nah oh that Spring afternoon looking into his excited face I just wanted to watch him run. Damn if he didn't call my bluff and make the State Championship, which resulted in one of the best but most stressful trips of my life.

According to the interwebs, which are totes never wrong there were over 2,000 kids at this meet. So say each of those kids has 2 parents with them and then throw in a few siblings, some grandparents, aunts and uncles, not to mention volunteers, vendors, concession stand workers so conservatively I’m guestimating there was at least 6-8,000 people at this meet. Give or take cause I suck at math. I saw masks and social distancing but also tons of hugs, lots of people using port a pottys, high fives (some as they left the port a potty), and well the recipe for putting my state back on the national map everywhere I looked. I was standing in the middle of a super spreader waiting to happen. When I think about the number of schools participating from all over the state and how this thing has the possibility of getting way out of hand I gives me heart palpitations.  

I’ve done everything I was supposed to do. I wore a mask. I used hand sanitizer. I social distanced. Every time someone got too close I faked needing to look for something and walked away from the conversation around me, not that anyone noticed. Yet here I sit feeling like a ticking timebomb about to go off cause frankly I just don’t fucking know. My nephew made a similar statement when I meet up with him at the course (I could tell his anxiety had already ramped up just like mine was). I looked at him and said “We are here now, nothing we can do about it so enjoy it. Run your little heart out and have fun. Make this trip worth every second of it!” However inside I wanted to grab him by his hoodie high tail it back to the car, get a hotel room for the night and take a hand sanitizer bath for about 4 hours. He did look at me and say “well we know one thing, if we don’t get it today, it’s just not in the cards for us to get it at all.” Which both made me laugh and scared me that he felt that way. Every day is a new battle so just cause we missed the shrapnel from today (God willing) that doesn’t mean we won’t be hit tomorrow.

Here’s what has me totally freaking out ….. the inevitable contract tracing to come. I traveled with my brother and sister in law. We checked into the hotel and went straight to our room. We ate dinner Friday night. After going to three other restaurants and not wanting to wait the 45-50 minutes on their tables ended up at a Mexican place near the hotel. So you have that waiter, plus the lady who took payment for said delicious dinner, and the ladies we spoke with at the other two places before deciding to move on. On the way back to the hotel the Nephew requested a milkshake from Chick-fil-a, so add the kid who took our order and the kid who brought our order to the list. Plus whomever all of these people served the rest of the night/weekend. Also keep in mind I couldn’t begin to tell you where those two restaurants were located cause it was dark and my brother was driving. My nephew visited us once we got there, and he had 2 roommates, not to mention his coaches and other teammates that he ate dinner with that night and traveled on a buss home with. Plus the buss driver, you gotta add him to the mix. Plus notice I'm not including anyone that we walked by on Saturday, talked with etc. cause it was a crapton of people. On the way home Saturday we stopped for a bite at a Wendy's, again only God knows where, and dealt with the window lady. Plus add two rest area stops, one stop at a gas station in which we all got out and stretched our legs. So lady behind us in line for the potty that stood far closer than she should have good luck cause I don’t even know your damn name. Then upon returning home you have my parents to add to the mix. This morning I got up and went to Church where I counted the money as part of the treasury with another lady, cut a check for one of the members, had several conversations with our preacher throughout the day. While waiting on me mom and dad went to Winn Dixie for a few items so whomever they dealt with there counts I guess. All while wearing a mask but still. That’s just me. That’s just my list of where I was and what I did. That doesn’t include who my brother saw today, whom my SIL saw, or my nephew. That’s how this shit gets so damn out of control so damn fast and that’s what has me all freaked out. This is the aspect of this entire virus situation that people don't think about.  Plus all of that is just from say Friday to Sunday ..... what about the week ahead? Do we count them too? it's quite overwhelming to think about. 

Since March I’ve been good. I’ve stayed home from work (working from home), I’ve left the house only when it was absolutely necessary. I've worn masks, I've used the hand sanitizer, ....  I’VE DONE EVERYTHING RIGHT. I had one lapse in judgement and I pray with everything I have that it doesn’t ruin everything. Especially when all I needed to hear that day was "I really am glad you came, I know these kind of things freak you out now." I'd do anything for that kid, even get RONA I just pray he doesn't get it or I don't give it to others during the process. I also pray that should we get it he doesn't blame himself tho he's enough like me that he will. 

Marcy (whose more scared of Big Rona than Rona is of me but that scares me even more)