We are back...this time I mean it

Hey guys, long time no type, seriously .... my previous laptop was all nope not gonna do it. It didn't cooperate with this website that we chose to host this blog, it wouldn't allow me to even open a word document much less type anything into this blog window. However fear not fans of SayWhatMG for Santa brought me a new laptop for Christmas. He really is good people!

It's an HP laptop Spectrum or something like that which Santa assures me is basically the Microsoft Surface Pro 4 (or whatever it's called) but at a much better price. So far so good with this one. I haven't loaded all my files on it yet, that's going to take some time and frankly that's a weekend project. However with this new lap top I'm hoping to get back to this blog more often and really get back into writing cause frankly I think my brain needs it.

In the coming days I plan to add my New Years resolutions which if history dictates anything i'll likely post then immediately ignore it. I hope to finally finish my Haley and Michaels story, maybe come up with a new story, let the creativity flow. I'd also like to go on a few trips, take some time off at work, not be so stressed out all the time. That's the goal, that's the plan. Wish me luck!

I'm also hoping that this blog will welcome back Golden to the blog party, she's had a rough year, let's face it 2016 sucked big time and 2017 has such a low bar I can't imagine it being worse then again I am also expecting the apocalypse so again not expecting much from 2017 so if this time next year we are all still here it will be a win.

So watch this space .... we are gonna get our blog back on ...... and this time I mean it, I think.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and have a great week and a safe new years !!!

Marcy

Thankfulness Challenge - Day 15

I am writing this to you all from the cozy tissue littered sick nest of my bed. Please consider this my last will and testament. Well, ok so I may not be dying, but I'm close to it. Ok, so I may not be close to it. It may just be the flu and I'm a dramatic fevered bitch. Either way, I totally feel like ass! Ok. Ok. Ok. I will shut up with my bitching before you turn the blog channel. Plus this month is supposed to be about being thankful not about boring the shit out of people with my snotty lifestyle.

My past few blog contributions have been about the importance of the chill. And how it does a body, mind, and soul good.

Marcy is a huge music fan. Music allows her to mellow out and melt away. I like music, but my taste in music is really bad. I admit that freely. Plus relaxing is not how I use music. Music tends to pep me up, but it could be because the type of music I prefer is fast with a beat. So I usually lean on music to get me revved. Like while I'm getting ready to go out, or while I'm trying to meet a deadline, or even that one time I went to the gym. So music doesn't really soothe my soul. But movies, movies totally do!

I love going to the movie theater. Especially the older classic theatres that you can still find across the U.S. The ones that play "The Wizard of Oz" or "It's a Wonderful Life" and allow you to melt away into a past life.

I even love curling up on the couch and watching a movie. I crave movies the way some people crave food. Being sick recently, I've been craving my "Sick Time Movie Playlist". It has such great hits as "The Labyrinth", "The Princess Bride" "Stardust" "Flight of Dragons". You know excellent movies that don't work against the cold meds but instead enhance the experience.

Have you ever gone to a proper theatre and been so drawn into the production that your peripheral falls away and you are completely focused with such tunnel vision, that you forget where you are when you snap back to yourself? I love that feeling. And I love it when that happens when I'm watching a good movie. As the holiday season is starting i, like most people I'm sure, have a "Seasonal Movie Playlist" so you will probably get tired of hearing about my love of movies. So I will do my best not to bore you with my love of Movie Playlists. I am so thankful for the creative people who create these movies and hopefully you too can extract some of the beauty and movie magic that I am so thankful for. Because movies, especially some of the classics, are magical and I am thankful that they allow me to suspend my mind and journey to places and times that would otherwise be impossible for me to reach.
 

I know that there exists a type of person that doesn't like "old movies". Hey, you like what you like. So I'm not trying to tell you that you are wrong to feel that way, but yeah....you're wrong to feel that way. Just kidding (no I'm not). But if you find yourself with time on your hands and you need a movie to escape to, here are a few of my favorites.
 

Please to enjoy...

§  Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb (Peter Sellers is comedy gold in the absurd)

§  Cat on A Hot Tin Roof (I can't turn away from the beautiful perfection of Liz Taylor and Paul Newman.)

§  To Kill A Mockingbird (I cry every time. "Miss Jean Louise, stand up, your father's passing")

§  Guys and Dolls (You just can't beat Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando. Brando was gorgeous before he went all nutters.)

§  Harvey (I dare you to not believe in a giant 6ft, three and a half inch tall invisible rabbit after you see this)

§  The Goonies (Because come on we all are Goonies at heart. Plus, Hello? Cyndi Lauper soundtrack)

§  Jurassic Park (Because you can't get much cooler than dinosaurs. Well you could if you put them in space!)

§  Mothra vs. Godzilla, 1962 (I. Love. Godzilla! And mothra is the only kaiju I know that comes with her own tiny bitches)

§  Godfather (which has Brando during his nutters period and Robert Duvall who also plays Boo Radley from "To Kill A Mockingbird". Connections are fun.)

§  The Birds (I'm not sure what's most impressive, the fact that this movie is frightening no matter how many times I see it or the fact that Tippi exists in that same outfit all weekend long through numerous bird attacks and still looks fly!)
 

-golden (@theonlygolden)

 

 

Thankfulness Challenge - Day 13

Today, I’m not going to lie, has been rough. Yesterday after lunch it was decided my firm would submit on a project that was DUE on Friday. This Friday. Tomrorow. So doing the math that gives me a day…day and a half to get it done. I spent most of yesterday afternoon getting the team started or at least figuring out who my team would include. We knew about one sub but needed another and the manager involved was literally MIA. He has this thing he does where he sits on a project for a week or so then says let’s submit then like Keyser Soze is gone. You can e-mail and you can call but he’s just like the wind and gone which is frustrating as hell. The guy is a super nice fella and I have no doubt he’s busy and not just ignoring me cause he can but damn it’s annoying that I can’t get my work done cause I can’t get him to make a damn decision.

I got to work today before 6:30am, and left at 6:30 tonight. I did leave for about 30 minutes to grab some lunch but because this guy couldn’t make a decision I felt like I was behind all day long. I know in my head it’s not me, and I didn’t drop the ball, but I also know it’s not going to get done if I don’t keep pushing it. I deeply resent almost having to be a bitch to get answers for a project. That said I knocked out everything but the resumes today. Which is pretty damn impressive if I do say so myself. Keep in mind that working on this one has taken away from the one that I was suppose to be working on for next week. Sigh...

So today I’m thankful that my coworkers were smart enough to see that both my headphones were in my ears, that I was super focused on the task at hand and they left me alone. This has been a pretty stressful week, from a dear friend having a double mastectomy on Tuesday, to the stress of this submittal, Friday can’t get here fast enough.

On a side note if anyone sees Golden give her a Diet Coke and a pat on the head cause she has the black plague and I miss her so tell her to get better soon!!!  --Marcy

Sometimes social media suprises ya

There are optimist and pessimist. I have been both at different times throughout my life but I seemed to have settled on being a realist. It may be due to me being a Gemini, or that may be just a Bullshit excuse and my feelings are just due to my upbringing and life experiences, but whatever the reason I am dualistic in nature. I have this desire for good to overcome evil, a desire for happiness to win out, a belief that right is...well, right. But because I live and breathe I know that deception gets ahead, bad is bolder, and negativity is suffocating.

In these modern times we live in, it seems that the majority of the human population exist on some form of social media. Social media can often times be a cruel hateful bitch. People can take your identity, find out your dark secrets, and even (what I consider the most heartbreaking) use it as a format for 'cyberbullying'. I recently closed my facebook account. It became depressing. I would see posts from people talking about how amazingly perfect their life was. Storybook, with the perfectly handsome spouse, perfectly behaved kids, perfectly designed home, perfectly expensive cars. But it was just surface perfection. Empty and sad. Then there were posts from those who seem to never have anything positive to say. Always complaining and putting people down based on their beliefs, life choices, politics, anything. Just hateful. Then there were people who were just nosy and wanted to keep in touch not out of true friendship, but just to keep tabs on your life progress. So I pulled the plug on that. I've been on Twitter forever and just find it to be more pleasant and fun so that's where I've stayed.

 

This week I was very pleasantly surprised. My mom now has a facebook page and as moms often do, talks too much about her children, of course that’s when she’s not talking about her grandchildren. Backstory time …. I have recently been battling insurance companies over my health care. Even though I have been repeatedly told to go on disability, I choose to continue working. There are many reasons for this, but I won't get into them now (that’s another post). But I do work and I work hard, harder than my doctors want me too and sometimes harder than my body allows. I pay for my insurance and am insured by a well known company. However, this well known company continues to make decisions on my medications, medical tests, and care not based on my diseases or my doctor’s medical knowledge much less on my well being but solely on cost efficiency -- But only for them not for me.

 

So this week I've had my well known insurance company refuse to cover medical testing that my doctors say I need, only to suggest I go thru testing that I don't need, but is cheaper for them but far less effective in providing me any kind of relief. Also they are charging me hundreds of dollars on a single medication because it's new to the market and they think I can go without it, because I have been until now … going without it. Keep in mind this medication wasn’t available before for me and my doctor to decide it didn’t work and I didn’t need it, however this well known insurance company was able to determine that without any research at all.   

All of this is not new, I’m used to it … but mom …. Well she’s frustrated so, as people do on Social Media, she opened the page and posted the “Saga of Golden” to her friends albeit against my wishes, or knowledge really. Before I knew it, people from all over were gathering to help. Some are people I knew as a child that grew into medical professionals who were able to call in favors and donate med samples. Some are people that knew my mom when she was a child that have never even met me, trying to donate money to cover the cost of my medicine when my own well known insurance company woudln’t. I am literally in awe! We asked for nothing, we expected nothing. My mom was just venting the frustrations a mother, who has a chronically sick kid, has to get them off her chest and mind so that she might be able to sleep a little bit that night. Yet, we received so much kindness and support from that one post it was kinda overwhelming.

So while it seems that while I have let life beat me into a position of a realist, I have seen the beauty in humanity's optimistic displays, and I am truly grateful. Not for the favors but for the thoughts, the kindness and the hope that it all brings. So I just want to say thank you all for the kindness you have put out into the universe. I can't find a way to express how much it means to me. It has shown me that often times humanity isn't as dark as what I imagine it to be. That sometimes, when you least expect it, mankind's nature can truly shine.

-golden (@theonlygolden)

Controling the universe .... with my mind

I love the phrase "Ain't nobody got time for that!" It perfectly describes my feelings of how absurd a task is and how I am far too busy to be bothered by said task. Unfortunately, right now all I have is time. I am currently propped up trying to control the universe with my mind powers!

 

Well, ok it's nothing so dramatic as all that. But I am trying to will my body to behave as any other body does. Most people go about with their bodies on autopilot. There isn’t a lot of conscious brain power that goes into making sure your body behaves normally. It just breathes, blinks, bends, beats and heals without your consent. But I have the "body stupids" and my body forgets how to body. That's where I find myself now, in a flare up of the stupids. So maybe "body stupids" isn't an official term but its much easier to get across than my real diagnosis. Plus I'm super mature and get all pouty when I don't feel good.

My official diagnosis is an unclassified variant strain autoimmune disease. Which is doctor speak for "Holy shit this bitch's body be straight Cray!" As much as can be determined is that it's like Lupus's bastard cousin, it's like Lupus but I have additional symptoms. So like Super Lupus! (cape not included). Instead of my body’s immune system doing what it should, it gets the dumbs and attacks my organs, joints and skin, like Lupus. But something about the chemistry is different from my Lupus brethren. Since I have had this going on since I was about 19/20 I have a rather high pain tolerance, but today it's failing me. So I am trying to manage my pain today while forcing my legs to be legs. Which leaves me all the time in the world to contemplate the complexity of human nature....and also watch the My Little Pony marathon (Don't judge me!).

 

The one positive outcome of all of this, is that hopefully one day this disease will be named after me and people throughout the world will cuss me randomly "Damn it my Golden is flared up like a mother fucker today!" That is what keeps a smile on my face while I battle my body stupids. Well that and these pain meds. So until we meet again have fun for me and whenever you stump your toe or accidentally knock your funny bone, do me a favor. Just call out a good rousing "Damn it Golden!" for me. I do so enjoy being randomly cussed!