Sigh.......

Sigh ……. that is all I have for a title.  

So …… it’s Sunday …. before the Wed that I should be leaving for Dragon Con, which is going virtual this year incase you didn’t know. Honestly I could care less about that. Granted I’ll watch the virtual parade, I might check in on some of the panels they are preparing and I will look at all the cosplay that should have been seen in person but what I really miss is …. Well …. Golden. Since 2014 I’ve packed my car with all the things … driven to Golden’s house and packed the car with all her things and then headed to Atlanta for a 5 day festival of all things Geek but in all honesty the Geek festival was just the destination. For 4 days it was nothing but laughter, pizza, buss trips,  exhaustion, “can I take your picture?” talking to new people while waiting on the buss, eating, shopping, posting our various finds online, walking, waiting on the buss, drinking, standing, pizza, uber rides, talking to new people in lines, sitting, Waffle House, talking to new people while on the buss, and one really great meal at the Hard Rock usually on Saturday or Sunday after the vendor hall.

That’s what a virtual con can’t give me but God love Dragon Con for trying.

To be honest Golden offered to let me come up there anyway spend 4 days farting around her house watching movies and just chilling something we both desperately need but while it sounds like HEAVEN I’m sacred to do it. I show no signs of the virus but who the hell knows what I’m walking around with without my knowledge. My Medical Marvel isn’t going to be taken down by me, no that’s for the lady at Walmart standing to close while in line for prescription to handle. Not me. PS lady at Walmart BACK THE FUCK UP MAN, that goes for you to dude side eyeing me from the band aid display she don’t need you in her air either.

So I sit here with the most exciting part of my day so far being that our drive in Church was cancelled due to bad weather and electronics not liking rain. HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK if I’m being honest. I have a submittal due Wed but there are also two hurricanes coming that could potentially screw that up, but we aren’t going to get this job anyway. I also have two more coming up the following week that we actually DO have a shot at so that is my next focus. Since I’ve been working from home since March for it will be business as usual at least until I lose power, assuming that I will. So I am kind of glad to not be leaving the family behind to deal with the hurricane mess, tho at the moment we don’t seem to be in the eye of the cone but we are on the wrong side of it so it could get interesting.

My parents are getting ready to celebrate their 50^th anniversary which is pretty cool so I’m also kind of glad to be around to see that but I wish they would stop snipping at one another. I don’t know if it’s the combination of the pandemic stress, or the inability to go out in the world and get away from one another for a few minutes but my mom is the angriest that she’s ever been in life (I think she’s stopped taking her depression pill) and my dad dosen’t know when to back off which makes him the brunt of her wrath at the moment. I don’t know how to help them cause I totally get where my mom is coming from with my dad. However I also think mom is letting the little shit get to her (again due to lack of taking her medicine correctly) which is making it worse. I personally feel like the only “downtime” I get is when I’m laying in bed at night. I know from the second my feet hit the floor if it’s not work stuff to deal with it’s going to be dealing with mom and dad and trying to keep that bomb from exploding, or at least detonating so that it does little damage. Sometimes I feel like nothing I do is enough, or right, or correct and honestly wonder sometimes why I even try.

So …. in all reality this isn’t a great time for me mentally and I could have used the time with my bestie but I’m gonna be ok.

Stay safe out there guys ……. It’s crazy stupid.

Marcy

Growing up different… not just for kids

Growing up different I was more than familiar to what bullying was. I think the things that surprised me most about the practice of bullying is that 1. Children...sweet, innocent, new to this world, fresh faced little cherub, light of our eyes children … are complete assholes; and 2. Bullys don't go away. They just grow up and become bullying adults.

Now that I am adult my “different” has increased ever more so and I find times that I am still getting bullied by both kids and adults. But fuck them, I learned to blow it off years ago….Bullshit. It still hurts. I've just learned to suppress it. But this response isn't about me. I work with mentally ill adults and since doing so have noticed the bullying trend not just from people on the outside of the spectrum making fun of the mentally ill, but that the Mentally ill themselves are starting to bully each other more frequently. They are looking for and finding differences amongst each other to create an imaginary platform to elevate some against others.

I've seen bullying between…

Mentally Ill and Intellectually deficit…

People who have put themselves in the Mental Health System vs. Court ordered to be here…

Court ordered violent offenders vs. Non-violent offenders…

Diagnosis vs Different diagnosis…

People born with their illness vs. those whose illness was caused by head trauma….

and it goes on and on and on. So...why? If we are all in the same place, if we are all dealing with the stigmatism of mental illness, if we have all been down into the worst of ourselves, how can we not recognize the human need to act as a collective and see ourselves and our struggle in others and raise up to offer support to those that have been there. So, based recently on an indecent at my work, I was asked to give a response to our residents about bullying. Afterword’s, as I went to delete the file, I decided to instead post it to this blog in the hopes that maybe it will help someone, out in the interwebs, where it is often hard for people to get away from bullying, who may need it. 

Always remember talk to someone if you are in need. I have included a few hotline numbers at the end of this post for quick reference. Never forget you unique, you are beautiful, you are loved.

-Golden

                                                                                                                  

Offering support

Response to bullying within the community

As we grow we find that life is often harder than we expected, especially when you live life with a form of mental illness. According to NAMI statistics, approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. (which is 43.8 million or 18.5%) experience a form of mental illness. There are a lot of us in the world, yet we still feel so alone.

Sometimes there is safety in numbers…

The positive thing about having so many experiencing some form of mental illness is that, even though we are all different and have different journeys, we can still offer support to each other. Everyone, at one point in time, knows what it feels like to suffer through their illness, and sometimes having someone just shake your hand or pat you on the back and tell you “you got this” can help.

Everyone of us walk a different path, even if you have the same diagnosis as someone else, your stories are not the same. There could be two people, twins, with the same diagnosis but show different symptoms and require different medications. Some people’s symptoms range from mild to severe and can often times vary within a few days. That can make daily life hard. That's why I try and talk to you about your medications so often. If your meds are not working for you, THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You won't get in trouble for something you can't help. Not all medications help everybody and can sometimes, even cause more side effects than they are worth.

A lot of people are afraid to talk to their doctor and admit that they are still experiencing/displaying symptoms of their illness. Instead of going through a med change. Why would you want to take something that doesn't work? Having your medications adjusted is not a failure.

I often hear people brag that they only have to take 2 pills while others take 18. If what you are taking is working and allowing you to be the best you possible, what does it matter if you are taking 5 pills instead of 2? Taking several medications does not make you a failure.

We are all here and we have all had to go through periods of adjustments, so if you see your friend, neighbor or roommate going through something, offer them the support you wish someone would have offered you when you needed it. Offer them the respect they deserve and the encouragement to stay strong.

Living with mental illness is a journey that can be hard but we don't have to make it hard on each other. And every one of us is a work in progress, just because you may need a little extra support doesn't mean that you are not going to be a great success, it just means that you have to make it through and when you do, you will know how to offer support to the next one in need.

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Bullys exist everywhere, not just in the Mental Illness community. If you need someone to talk to, to help you through times of doubt regardless of situation here are a few resources. Remember no matter how lonely you feel, YOU   ARE   NOT  ALONE!

§  Adolescent Suicide Hotline: 1-800-621-4000

§  Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling: 1-800-999-9999

§  AIDS National Hotline: 1-800-342-2437

§  CHADD – Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorders: 1-800-233-4050

§  Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD  (4-2-24453)

§  Cocaine Help line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)

§  Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

§  Drug & Alcohol Treatment Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

§  Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933

§  Eating Disorders: 1-888-236-1188

§  Family Violence Prevention Center: 1-800-313-1310

§  Gay & Lesbian National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

§  Gay & Lesbian Trevor HelpLine Suicide Prevention: 1-800-850-8078

§  Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111

§  Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)

§  Incest Awareness Foundation: 1-888-547-3222

§  National Center For Learning Disabilities: 1-888-575-7373

§  Missing & Exploited Children Hotline: 1-800-843-5678

§  National Allianceon Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

§  Panic Disorder Information Hotline: 1-800-64-PANIC (72642)

§  Post Abortion Trauma: 1-800-593-2273

§  Project Inform HIV/AIDS Treatment Hotline: 1-800-822-7422

§  Rape (People Against Rape): 1-800-877-7252

§  Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)

§  Runaway Hotline: 1-800-621-4000

§  Self Injury (Information only. This is not a crisis line, info/referrals only): 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288

§  Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

§  Sexual Abuse – Stop It Now!: 1-888-PREVENT (773-8368)

§  STD Hotline: 1-800–227-8922

§  Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

§  Suicide & Crisis Hotline:1-800-999-9999

§  Suicide Prevention – Trevor HelpLine (Specializing in Gay & Lesbian Youth) 1-800-850-8078

§  Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900

§  Victim Center: 1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)

§  Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663)

Golden @theonlygolden