Sigh.......

Sigh ……. that is all I have for a title.  

So …… it’s Sunday …. before the Wed that I should be leaving for Dragon Con, which is going virtual this year incase you didn’t know. Honestly I could care less about that. Granted I’ll watch the virtual parade, I might check in on some of the panels they are preparing and I will look at all the cosplay that should have been seen in person but what I really miss is …. Well …. Golden. Since 2014 I’ve packed my car with all the things … driven to Golden’s house and packed the car with all her things and then headed to Atlanta for a 5 day festival of all things Geek but in all honesty the Geek festival was just the destination. For 4 days it was nothing but laughter, pizza, buss trips,  exhaustion, “can I take your picture?” talking to new people while waiting on the buss, eating, shopping, posting our various finds online, walking, waiting on the buss, drinking, standing, pizza, uber rides, talking to new people in lines, sitting, Waffle House, talking to new people while on the buss, and one really great meal at the Hard Rock usually on Saturday or Sunday after the vendor hall.

That’s what a virtual con can’t give me but God love Dragon Con for trying.

To be honest Golden offered to let me come up there anyway spend 4 days farting around her house watching movies and just chilling something we both desperately need but while it sounds like HEAVEN I’m sacred to do it. I show no signs of the virus but who the hell knows what I’m walking around with without my knowledge. My Medical Marvel isn’t going to be taken down by me, no that’s for the lady at Walmart standing to close while in line for prescription to handle. Not me. PS lady at Walmart BACK THE FUCK UP MAN, that goes for you to dude side eyeing me from the band aid display she don’t need you in her air either.

So I sit here with the most exciting part of my day so far being that our drive in Church was cancelled due to bad weather and electronics not liking rain. HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK if I’m being honest. I have a submittal due Wed but there are also two hurricanes coming that could potentially screw that up, but we aren’t going to get this job anyway. I also have two more coming up the following week that we actually DO have a shot at so that is my next focus. Since I’ve been working from home since March for it will be business as usual at least until I lose power, assuming that I will. So I am kind of glad to not be leaving the family behind to deal with the hurricane mess, tho at the moment we don’t seem to be in the eye of the cone but we are on the wrong side of it so it could get interesting.

My parents are getting ready to celebrate their 50^th anniversary which is pretty cool so I’m also kind of glad to be around to see that but I wish they would stop snipping at one another. I don’t know if it’s the combination of the pandemic stress, or the inability to go out in the world and get away from one another for a few minutes but my mom is the angriest that she’s ever been in life (I think she’s stopped taking her depression pill) and my dad dosen’t know when to back off which makes him the brunt of her wrath at the moment. I don’t know how to help them cause I totally get where my mom is coming from with my dad. However I also think mom is letting the little shit get to her (again due to lack of taking her medicine correctly) which is making it worse. I personally feel like the only “downtime” I get is when I’m laying in bed at night. I know from the second my feet hit the floor if it’s not work stuff to deal with it’s going to be dealing with mom and dad and trying to keep that bomb from exploding, or at least detonating so that it does little damage. Sometimes I feel like nothing I do is enough, or right, or correct and honestly wonder sometimes why I even try.

So …. in all reality this isn’t a great time for me mentally and I could have used the time with my bestie but I’m gonna be ok.

Stay safe out there guys ……. It’s crazy stupid.

Marcy

Random Thoughts

So it’s been a while since I posted and it’s not that I haven’t been thinking of you guys or wanting to post but it’s just …. I have so many things I want to write about that all of it ends up a jumbled mess in my head … this happens on occasion and I have decided it’s time for another random thought’s post so that I can think like a normal human being again.

Adulting

I’ve talked a few times on this blog about being an adult and how I try so very hard to not be an adult however I am one. I went on vacation last week to the beach. On my way home from the office on my last day of work before my trip I stopped at the local liquor store to buy supplies. Upon getting home some 4 days later I was unpacking to realize I NEVER OPENED MY SUPPLIES. However that didn’t bother me as much as it hit me that I didn’t even think about opening my supplies. Like really? That bottle is still in the brown paper sack I took it home from the store in. That’s messed up on so many levels. If that weren’t enough, tomorrow we get a new employee and my boss will be at another office so I get the job of showing her around the office, getting her hooked up with HR, telling her what we do, and showing her where she can find things. Like I’m the 2^nd in command. Which I guess I was aware of but now it seems more official. That sounds like a job for a grown up …. Am I that person?! When did that happen? That sounds so …. Responsible.

DragonCon/Cosplay

So it is July …. You know what that means … it’s time for that all important decision …. To Cosplay or not Cosplay and why is that so hard for me? I always think of these ideas and then decide they are dumb or no one would get them or I’d never be able to do them justice so I decide not to do them. Then I get to DragonCon and boom there’s the costumes that I thought about or I’m reminded that everything is fair game at DragonCon. It is not uncommon to see amazing cosplay, as well as mediocre cosplay and blow your mind cosplay and it’s all ok. Last year I saw several Quail Man costumes, something I thought about then decided no one would remember or get it. This year I’m thinking about Daria from MTV days when you know MTV showed music and only a few other programs. I also thought about something that will allow me to use my new awesome chair Golden got me for my birthday/Christmas. I also thought about Jeanette Miller from the Chipmunks. I can totally pull that off nerdy girl who loves books.  However I know me, I’ll make all these plans, get up there and chicken out. I like to blend into the wall and in costume that’s not really what it’s about. Golden’s better at this Cosplay thing than I am. She’s better at a lot of things than I am but I don’t want to give her a big head. Maybe as DragonCon nears I can get Golden back on this blog … what do you say @theonlygolden ?

Travel and fun with Friends

As part of my New Year’s Resolutions at the end of 2016 I wanted to travel more, and spend more time with friends. So far I’m making good on that promise. Earlier this year with my friend Christina and I made the trip to Auburn for the weekend and traveling with her is always an adventure and fun. Of course I went to Birmingham in May for Golden’s birthday and got to hang with her and Marible. I just returned from a trip to nearby Orange Beach to see Journey with my friend Katie, at the end of Aug/Sep we will be going to DragonCon with Golden, in November I’m also going to Disney with Golden, and today I added to my itinerary with a tip to Nashville in October with my friend Christina to see Ed Sheeran for whom I've gone straight stupid for. I’m super excited about this trip. It’s been a while since I went to a full on concert in an arena and we have awesome seats. I am fighting my fear of the world by going out and about and putting myself into situations that normally make me nervous and scared. I have decided we are all going to die someday, I might as well be happy while I’m here and not have regrets, well not have a lot of regrets anyway. Besides fear of the unknown is no fun ... right. Now I just need to work on the writing thing.

Prayers for this nation and yes even this President

I’ve thought on several occasions about writing an open letter to our current sitting President but know he’d never see it, even if someone could read it to him, so I think it’s a giant waste of my time. However, every time his orange ass is on my TV or in an article I’m reading I am once again reminded of the point of letter. For full disclosure, I didn’t vote for him, I don’t care for him, but he’s what I have ended up with. That being said I need him to succeed and before you all grab the pitch forks and for a riot let me explain. If he can pull this off then the idea that anyone can be president lives on. Granted that person has to have money and there are limitations on who can and can’t be president but if he tanks it, and it looks like he’s going too, then for the rest of our lives anytime someone “outside of the box” runs for office they will point to his big orange ass to explain why that’s a bad idea. It’s not a Republican VS Democrat thing it’s a human vs human thing. Let me also add that I trust Trump far more than Pence and if the powers that be that are trying to impeach Trump win then we end up with Pence and I’m not sure that’s a world I want to live in. So I need everyone to relax and let’s see what this dumbass can accomplish before you know he nukes us all into non-existence.

Social Media/Elevation of the current rhetoric  
As some of you may or may not know during Lent this past year I gave up social media in general. No twitter, no facebook, no Instagram, no notifications, all I kept going was e-mail. It was everything I dreamed that it could be. It’s been about 4 months and part of me wants to go back. I purged a lot of my “follow” list when I got back on all my social media platforms and I definitely don’t use it like I did before the “break” but there are days where it’s still too much bullshitting and this person bitching about this and that person bitching about that and these guys over here wanting to bitch about something else and the others complaining that no one gives a shit about what they want to bitch about. Here’s the thing… it’s a giant world out there and we are all allowed to have different opinions the issue is when we completely dismiss the difference of opinion simply because it’s not mine. That being said the way we dismiss one another also upsets me. While in college I took a Rhetoric class and I remember telling the teacher that I thought people were being too sensitive about it, sometimes a writer talking about a dog is just that a dog. I want to go an apologize to that teacher now. I’m witnessing it first hand on a daily basis. it’s not that we have intelligent arguments that could sway the person being talked to, no that might make too much sense. Instead we use juvenile name calling and hastags to belittle and attack one another and then those same people bitch because our President is doing the same thing on a daily basis. Our children are watching people, well not my children cause I don’t have any but my nephews for sure. They see us acting like childish bullies on the internet and then we wonder why they are doing the same. Let’s elevate the conversation or not have it at all. It starts with us and Social Media is key to this change.  

I’m sure there are more but for now this is enough …. Thank you for letting me have my brain back.

Marcy

@beaslma

Adulting whether I want to or not!

Hold on to your hats guys I have ... a confession .... this is hard for me ...ok ... but .... I’m …. an…..adult. whew I said it and yet it still feels wrong. I mean I don’t feel like an adult, but everything in my life is leading me to believe that at some point I went to sleep perfectly fine and woke up as an adult. I need someone to hold me.

Let’s look at the facts. I have a 40+ hour full time job with benefits, vacation time (that I honestly neglect) and sick leave. I say 40+ hours cause I rarely work just 40 hours. I have a job that sometimes I’ll work the + hours and don’t charge because it’s necessary to get it all done but am not suppose to have “overtime” unless preapproved. At my job they have recently decided I’m going to get a laptop so that some of the + hours can be done at home. My boss sent an e-mail to OUR boss for approval saying and I quote, “consented to be assigned a laptop, meaning she can now work 120 hours a week instead of just 80.” sadly … he was only half kidding. I check my work e-mail on our web server several times during the weekend just “incase” anyone has asked for anything (hence the need for a laptop I guess).

Because of my 40+ hours spent working I often spend the weekend catching up on other Adult things like laundry, cleaning up around the house, washing the car, instead of playing video games, watching DVDs, and relaxing.

When someone mentions going and doing something fun I immediately think about my work schedule BEFORE I think about the cost of whatever the fun thing was. I really used to be the other way around I’d be like hecks yeah then think about the cost of said thing then think about how I’d schedule it around life. 

I wake up now at the same time every single day without an alarm clock, which is the same one I used all the way through college. The first thing I do is stand up and listen to just about every bone in my body POP, then I start to walk and realize that my knee has decided NOT to be a knee today and grab the wall or bed to steady myself. Then hobble into the bathroom to do what needs to be done.

I find myself sitting in the chair at night begging for the clock to turn to 9 so I can go to bed “at a decent hour” and not be a “loser” who went to bed before dinner when what I really want to do sometimes is go to bed before dinner! Then I get in the bed and lay there until midnight unable to sleep anyway sigh.

 

My friends who in my brain are the true adults send me pictures of their kids, invites to their wedding, post about their anniversary dinners etc., leaving me to feel like the ninth grader hanging out with the seniors who just don't notice I'm not at their level. 

However nothing made me feel more adult this week than joining a PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATION at the insistence of my boss. He told me to look at a few and see which one I found would be more helpful to the group as a whole. I found one and got excited, read that again EXCITED, cause it offered training classes, had a local chapter, and had a ton of information sharing opportunities which I have spent most of my Saturday morning looking at.

Ironically in my “research to determine if I am in fact an adult,” which should show right there that I am, I found a “test” to measure my Adult level AND SAVED THE LINK TO TAKE AT A LATER TIME when I can really focus!!!!

Oh my G-O-S-H …. I am an adult …. I need someone to hold me, give me some chocolate milk in a fun cup (maybe have My Little Pony on it) and put on a fun Disney movie S-T-A-T.

I’m still fighting this “adult” thing by keeping non-adult things in my line of eyesight at all time. Such as my collection of flash drives, Homer Simpson, Voltron, Ninja, Mickey Mouse, on my desk, the fun sitting around things like Loki, and some “McDonald Happy Meal toys” watching me work both at home and at the office. However I fear that even that is in jeopardy. See this laptop they are getting me will have a docking station, and TWO SCREENS which I a way of forcing me to Adult and clean up my desk as there simply won’t be room for all my treasures, as my mom used to call them tho now she calls them "clutter." Oh and can we talk about the fact that I'm at the age where when I do order the Happy Meal for the toy they assume it's "for my kid!"

I spend far more time than I’d like to admit playing games on my cell phone, currently addicted to Strung Along, a fun marionette game where you have to get the guy to walk through this insane obstacle course but you have to have the timing right or his strings break. It’s totally addictive and equally frustrating. I also am a fan of the Trivia Crack game if only cause there are several friends that I can’t beat to save my life and it’s my own personal mission to beat them. I WILL BEAT YOU BRETT … IT’S COMING AND YOU WILL BE SHOCKED!

 

I also signed up through my company to play in a co-ed Volleyball game, which should be a struggle with the aforementioned knee situation but I figure a few drinks in me and my knee can suck it. I loved playing Volleyball in high school and was really good at it, until an unfortunate incident involving bleachers and mis hit ball and my getting it back over the net literally at all costs.  

 

I think it’s time I went to the foot of the throne of Golden who has mastered the ADULT in the real world, and bad as I wanna be at home and I would like to be her apprentice.

Yall have a good weekend I’m going to go sort some clothes for the laundry while I watch Big Hero 6.

Take that Adulthood.

Marcy out

UPDATE: I posted a link to a survey "How Adult Are you?" Upon taking it i'm removing it from here cause it has very little do to without being an Adult...in my opinion so well played internet!

HAPPY DRUNKSGIVING Eve!!!

What?! You say you have never heard of Drunksgiving? Gather round children as I wow you with tales of the adult holiday known as Drunksgiving. It's a magical time of year. It lasts for 3 days, the Friday, Saturday and Sunday after the U.S. observes Thanksgiving. I work on Thanksgiving so my Drunksgiving starts when I get off work at 10pm, but some people start observing Drunksgiving as soon as they leave the family gathering on Thanksgiving.

So for those of you that don't know how to celebrate Drunksgiving, let me go over the basics. The name "Drunksgiving" is derived from English terminology and loosely means "to get dat ass some kinda way by means of imbibing beers, alcohols and liquors." So for the three days of Drunksgiving you partake in the liquid spirits passed down by our ancestors. That's not all though. On Drunksgiving you decorate your house for the upcoming crimmus holiday. I personally use so much twinkle lights and glitter it looks like the inside of a drag queens disco ball. The better the decorations you offer up to the Drunksgiving holiday, the better your drinking experience daze, later in the holiday.

"So decorating and drinking? This is your holiday". No! That's just the beginning, now sit down, shut up, and stop interrupting me! Because on the first day, once you have discreetly packed you a travel adult beverage it's time to blow through ungodly amounts of money shopping! If you are doing Drunksgiving right, then you have just enough fight in you to beat down that old bitch at the Wal*mart for the last $5 crockpot. Once I drink through my "to go" spirits I usually try and make my reservations at the five star restaurant, Le Huddle House, for an afternoon breakfast before returning home to partake in a ritualistic dark nap.

Drunksgiving is celebrated differently in different parts of the world so some traditions are regional. Being raised in Alabama the second day of Drunksgiving (Saturday) is a very holy day. It is the traditional Auburn vs. Alabama football game. This is a sacred sporting event known to all in the south. Many a drunk man has suffered due to the outcome of this sporting event know as …. the … Iron Bowl. 

The rest of the Drunksgiving holiday is dedicated to wrapping gifts in a sloppy half assed fashion, of course more drinking and then random bouts of crying while watching cheesy ass crimmus movies. However as Drunksgiving winds down I experience the true Drunksgiving Miracle! When I realize....I live in the future! And in the future it's fucking magical. In the future we are able to spend shit loads of money by shopping online while not even wearing pants! This miracle realization allows me to blow through the remainder of my bank account and basically become Drunksgiving Santa. That's when I drunkenly purchase items for myself from China, only to forget about it when I sober up, until a few days before crimmus the FedEx guy delivers Sober Golden gifts that Drunken Drunksgiving Golden ordered!

So Happy Drunksgiving everybody. May your bellies be full with Drunksgiving cheer, happiness and liquor. May your home be shining and bright. May your gifts be wrapped in the prettiest of duct tape and ripped paper. May you never run you bank account below zero. And may you always be blessed with a true Drunksgiving miracle, a designated driver.

Hallelujah! All hail Drunksgiving!

-golden