Sigh.......

Sigh ……. that is all I have for a title.  

So …… it’s Sunday …. before the Wed that I should be leaving for Dragon Con, which is going virtual this year incase you didn’t know. Honestly I could care less about that. Granted I’ll watch the virtual parade, I might check in on some of the panels they are preparing and I will look at all the cosplay that should have been seen in person but what I really miss is …. Well …. Golden. Since 2014 I’ve packed my car with all the things … driven to Golden’s house and packed the car with all her things and then headed to Atlanta for a 5 day festival of all things Geek but in all honesty the Geek festival was just the destination. For 4 days it was nothing but laughter, pizza, buss trips,  exhaustion, “can I take your picture?” talking to new people while waiting on the buss, eating, shopping, posting our various finds online, walking, waiting on the buss, drinking, standing, pizza, uber rides, talking to new people in lines, sitting, Waffle House, talking to new people while on the buss, and one really great meal at the Hard Rock usually on Saturday or Sunday after the vendor hall.

That’s what a virtual con can’t give me but God love Dragon Con for trying.

To be honest Golden offered to let me come up there anyway spend 4 days farting around her house watching movies and just chilling something we both desperately need but while it sounds like HEAVEN I’m sacred to do it. I show no signs of the virus but who the hell knows what I’m walking around with without my knowledge. My Medical Marvel isn’t going to be taken down by me, no that’s for the lady at Walmart standing to close while in line for prescription to handle. Not me. PS lady at Walmart BACK THE FUCK UP MAN, that goes for you to dude side eyeing me from the band aid display she don’t need you in her air either.

So I sit here with the most exciting part of my day so far being that our drive in Church was cancelled due to bad weather and electronics not liking rain. HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK if I’m being honest. I have a submittal due Wed but there are also two hurricanes coming that could potentially screw that up, but we aren’t going to get this job anyway. I also have two more coming up the following week that we actually DO have a shot at so that is my next focus. Since I’ve been working from home since March for it will be business as usual at least until I lose power, assuming that I will. So I am kind of glad to not be leaving the family behind to deal with the hurricane mess, tho at the moment we don’t seem to be in the eye of the cone but we are on the wrong side of it so it could get interesting.

My parents are getting ready to celebrate their 50^th anniversary which is pretty cool so I’m also kind of glad to be around to see that but I wish they would stop snipping at one another. I don’t know if it’s the combination of the pandemic stress, or the inability to go out in the world and get away from one another for a few minutes but my mom is the angriest that she’s ever been in life (I think she’s stopped taking her depression pill) and my dad dosen’t know when to back off which makes him the brunt of her wrath at the moment. I don’t know how to help them cause I totally get where my mom is coming from with my dad. However I also think mom is letting the little shit get to her (again due to lack of taking her medicine correctly) which is making it worse. I personally feel like the only “downtime” I get is when I’m laying in bed at night. I know from the second my feet hit the floor if it’s not work stuff to deal with it’s going to be dealing with mom and dad and trying to keep that bomb from exploding, or at least detonating so that it does little damage. Sometimes I feel like nothing I do is enough, or right, or correct and honestly wonder sometimes why I even try.

So …. in all reality this isn’t a great time for me mentally and I could have used the time with my bestie but I’m gonna be ok.

Stay safe out there guys ……. It’s crazy stupid.

Marcy

Adult Things Suck

"Adult Things Suck!" This was a text I sent to Golden after telling her about my stupid week, it was also in response to a panic attack I had thinking of all I have to do next week, and the week after that. The Adult Marcy wants to sit down with my work laptop and spend the weekend attempting to get ahead. The Kid Marcy wants to set Adult Marcy on fire, Curl up in a ball, and watch 1980 cartoons while sucking my thumb with one hand and twirling my hair with the other as someone brings me cheese balls from a blue planters can with the yellow lid. Yeah it's important that it be that specific. 

Don't tell me Utz has decent cheese balls cause I'd hate to call you an asshat to your face.

It's planters or nothing people!!!!

Adult Me has to deal with insane coworkers who often fail to make life any easier for me. Adult Me is suppose to watch what she eats, exercise, and be polite to people when I want to grab them by each ear and pull like I'm pulling a Christmas Cracker so I can finally get a new paper hat.

Totally pulling off the Cracker Paper hat my furry Friend!

Adult me has to deal with all the crazy of a full time job them come home and help two aging parents navigate the crazy that is life, including fixing dinner, doing treatments, and making sure they are taking their medicine, while often forgetting my own.

Adult me is crushing the rest of me. This stupid need to be productive, to do the right thing, to take on more than I can, to do it all is going to kill me one day. I'll either have a heart attack or I'll drive my car off a bridge either way I'm sure to get wet. You'd think down time would be my salvation but typically I'm so keyed up I never get to really enjoy it. I can't remember the last time I was truly 100% relaxed. That can't be good for you right ?!

Adult Me puts off doctor appointments as well as other things that would make my life better in the long run because there is no time or it can be taken care of later. Things that aren't necessary so I don’t deal with it. By necessary I mean I'm not bleeding, I don’t see exposed bone or will I immediately die from whatever problem I am having it is just annoying.

Then again there are things Adult Me can do that Kid me never thought of…. I bought the Trolls movie this week just because I could (tho I have yet to take the time to watch it – damn adult me!) ….. I have a cell phone that keeps me connected in times of crazy ….. I can buy all the chips I want, sure they aren't planter cheese balls in the canister – seriously Planters what’s that about -- but I can EAT THE WHOLE BAG …… I could order myself a pizza at 3 am and get any kind I want….. I can also send money to a friend having a tough time ….. I can drive a car, sure it is  only to work and home again but I'm not focusing on that right now…. Oh and I can buy me a blizzard any day of the week.

So yeah … being an adult is ok….. Sometimes, I guess, kinda.

Marcy

Happy Sunday!!!!

So … it’s Sunday, I promised blogs this weekend, and well … I failed. I’d like to say I was being all adult and doing important stuff like my taxes or laundry, but in all honesty I was failing hard at being an adult. I wanted to spend my weekend playing video games, didn’t really happen, tho I did play my fair share of online games.

I wanted to spend my weekend writing. What I ended up doing was thinking about writing, thinking that I should write, thinking what I should write, and thinking that writing was something that I should be doing. However I actually never put words to a page...so yeah epic fail.

I did spend some time today updating a Wikipedia page for a super awesome guy, I went to church, had a fantastic conversation with a friend via Twitter, and I also watched a NASCAR race with my dad which is always a fun time. So the weekend wasn’t a complete wash, but also wasn't as productive as I needed it to be.

The weather here was beautiful after a week straight of rain, I really should have been outside doing … anything... but outside is where people are and I am not a big fan of people. I have to deal with the outside and people all week long so on my weekend I decided yeah no I was going to let someone else fight that good fight. 

So what did you guys do this weekend?! Whatever it was I hope you took a few minutes to recharge for the week ahead. Don’t forget to wear Green on Tuesday or risk getting pinched unless you work in an office setting. Getting pinched at work could lead to a trip to HR which can end one of two ways for you, so plan ahead.

-Marcy