Showing posts with label The Blog Is Still Alive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Blog Is Still Alive. Show all posts

Saturday, August 2, 2025

BLOGAVERSARY!!!!!!

Can you believe it … Aug. 2, 2014  … 11 years ago …. we posted our “test post” which frankly didn’t have much on it but it was a start. It was the push that propelled everything else that followed. It was the “first post” and yeah we could have stopped there but we didn’t we just kept pushing through. On August 3rd we did an introduction post about what the blog was going to be and more importantly what it wasn’t going to be and then we did some introductions to each of us … myself .. and my partner in crime Golden.


 This blog started out as a way to take two people being crushed by the world and help them remember that they have it in them to be creative. Golden did this for me and I know that but having her along the way gave me … I don’t know a sense that if I didn’t see it through I’d be letting her down as much as letting myself down. So I’m grateful she came on this ride with me. Truth is she’s better at this than I ever wanted to be. The way she uses words like a paint brush to tell a story fills me with an envy that I can’t fully express.

 That August was a good month for us with 27 posts but then again it was new, exciting and we went to Dragon Con which always helps with content. Here I sit … again looking our 10 year anniversary of Dragon Con (it really feels like we’ve been going longer but my calculations say 10 years so 10 it is – math is hard yall) and I can’t wait for that 4 day break with my bestie. I need it and more important she needs it. We might just veg the entire time playing video games but we’ll at least be doing it in the same room.

 A lot has changed for Golden and I over these 11 years. She’s changed jobs for one. Sometimes I think it’s for the better but other times I’m not so sure. I’ve gotten a few promotions at work and am now leading a team of people which is very daunting and I’m not sure I like it at all. She’s been through a few fur babies, which were really tough to watch her go through cause as you know dear reader I’m too far away to just go over and make sure she’s ok.  We have both lost family members along the way, and we have both also gained family members, which has been more fun than the losing. We’ve gone on a few more trips, most recently to Atlanta to see the StayKids which I admit was far more fun than I anticipated.  Sickness we have both dealt with our fair shar of sickness over the years mine mostly watching others be sick and Golden being my Medical Marvel. Neither of us really use Twitter (I refuse to call it anything else) as much as we used too but have migrated to other platforms. Social Media has always been a cesspool and now it’s somehow worse.

 I admit finding content to post here without a lot of feedback wasn’t always easy so I started little challenges for myself. The thankfulness challenge in 2014 was particular a highlight for me as it was a post a day for the month of November and I succeeded. Is every post worth a read … not really but there are 30 posts in the month of November and for that I am proud. I tried it again in 2019 and it was equally successful. Maybe I bring it back this year?

When we started this blog we said we’d not “teach you anything” but like the former journalist that I wanted to be I added but we might … which helped open the door for my Blog with a Purpose posts that focused on a few charities that Golden and I have supported over the years. I hope those were interesting cause I really enjoyed writing them.

Oh and the greatest challenge of all is that this blog got me writing again. Here of late I’ve been doing my Writing prompt challenge, which has been interesting. However, over the years I used this to share some of my original  fiction which was both fun and scary at the same time.

Several reoccurring themes have popped up too including music, books, tv, the aforementioned drama with fur babies, etc., which has also helped in keeping this thing going. Oh and I’ve wasted a post or two a year on my silly TV movie calendars for Halloween and Christmas and while that is slowing down I don’t see it stopping soon. Tho Microsoft doing away with publisher I might have to come up with another plan for those in the very near future. My gripes at Microsoft have also  made a few appearances too over the years. Year end posts or new year blogs helped kick off the year or end it and made for some good content as well. Random Thoughts/Grind my Gears were also fun ways to get topics bouncing around in my head out of my head and onto the screen so I could move on.

So the point is if you have been with us this long than you, if you are new here enjoy going through the archives to the right, and if you are a casual reader it’s been fun seeing you around too. This blog isn’t dead yet and while I know sometimes it looks and feels that way that’s just what we do. We don’t post for the sake of posting we post when there is something worth saying and in my opinion that is more fun. It’s about quality not quantity but know there will be typos.

So thanks again Golden for the push and let’s keep it going a few more years at least!

Marcy

Saturday, July 26, 2025

Writing Prompt #3 - Question A Day: Organized or Chaotic ?


So, several years ago, I told Golden I was struggling to find something worthy of writing about that I could put on this blog. She gave me these books. During a cleaning binge recently, I found them and decided to dust them off and actually use them. Here’s attempt Number 3 this time from the A 5 Year Question a Day Memory Journal. So I’ve been randomly flipping through these books and landing on a date. Today I focused on the 26th, the month didn’t matter, since today is the 26th. That would force me to finish it and post it today (at least that’s how my brain works anyway) I landed on May, 26.

The prompt:       Organized or Chaotic ?

What I liked about this “prompt” is that I could go in a variety of ways with it.

Are they talking about my life is it organized or chaotic ? I’d say pretty organized as I have set times for things I need done. Like sleep, work, relaxation, repeat…. etc,

Are they referring to what I prefer organization or chaos ? Cause there are some people out there that crave chaos and the adrenaline it brings. I am not that person.

Do they mean my space is it organized or chaotic? In my home life I’d say chaotic as I have crap literally everywhere. Often my closet looks like it threw up, and my bathroom is even worse with clothes that need to be cleaned just kind of hanging out on the floor. I have a bag of clothing in my closet that needs to go to goodwill but haven’t made it to the car. Where they will then ride around with me for a few months before I finally drop it off on my way to or from work one day. Does that make sense … no cause the Goodwill is literally right next door to my office. I zip it, drop it in that big box and zip out. Yet it always seems like a chore to stop, or it’s raining or I’m running late and can do it tomorrow. So maybe that part is a little chaotic.

In my work life my space is pretty organized or it was. We recently had to give up one of our offices to make way for a new employee and that lady’s stuff more or less ended up in my office and in a filing cabinet. She works from home mostly but had enough to take up an entire filing cabinet …. I kid you not. We also have a lot of stuff to ship things to other offices and so those boxes had to go somewhere. We also threw a crap ton of stuff away. So while the space may look more chaotic than I’m used to it’s pretty organized. I am also very organized when it comes to my job itself. I almost have to be. The deadlines, the submittals, the random calls to talk about the submittal that I’m not working on at the moment so notes are being taken on the fly and must be attached to the write package etc.

They can’t be talking about my personal life, relationships, cause I don’t really have any. I mean I have friends. I have people I hang out with socially when I get off my butt and make it happen but not relationships in like the way of a husband, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, etc., No kiddos in my way, but I do have two amazing nephews who sometimes like to throw my world into Chaos but they are well worth it so it’s all good.

Are they talking about packing for a trip cause it’s all chaos and no organization. I literally either have all the things or none of said things. I try. I really do. I make lists. I write out the plan for the trip. I pack and repack bags several times and yet once I get in the car with said bag I honestly have very little idea of what’s in said bag.

So to refocus this post …. Organized or Chaotic ?  ….. I think they both have their place but I prefer organized chaos if that’s a thing. Kind of like answering a question without answering I guess. Organization has it’s place but often time really organized people can’t find a damn thing when they need it and chaotic people can often walk into a room of chaos and find that one random thing they need in that moment.

So what about you guys ? Which do you prefer and did I do the challenge justice?! 

Hey look at that I just wasted nearly 400 characters … go me!

Have a great day everyone see you next time.

Marcy

Sunday, July 13, 2025

Writing Prompts #2 – finish the story "The First Cut"

So several years ago I told Golden I was struggling to find something worthy of writing about that I could put on this blog. She got me these books. During a cleaning binge recently I found them and decided to dust them off and actually use them. Here’s attempt Number 2 this time from the Complete the Story book. I admit I didn't know where this one was going when I started but here it is with a little help from Chat GPT when I got a little stuck. Who knows maybe I'll make this a weekly or monthly thing. 

The prompt:

I stopped for a breath before cutting the turkey. I wanted to appreciate the moment. Seeing everyone there, sitting around the table, almost felt like we were a family again. It's a shame it can't always feel like that.

The story:                                                                The First Cut

I stopped for a breath before cutting the turkey. I wanted to appreciate the moment. Seeing everyone there, sitting around the table, almost felt like we were a family again. It's a shame it can't always feel like that. For a second, no one said anything. Just the clinking of glasses, the soft creak of chairs as everyone settled into their seats. Aunt May caught my eye and gave me a small nod, her smile tight but genuine. Even Uncle Dan had traded his usual scowl for a neutral expression — a small miracle in itself.

I pressed the carving knife into the golden skin and began slicing, the scent of rosemary and butter rising like steam from a memory. “So,” Mom said suddenly, breaking the silence, “does anyone remember when Jason dropped the turkey in ‘06?”

A few chuckles rippled around the table. Jason groaned. “I knew that was coming.”

“You tripped over your own shoelaces,” Cousin Claire added, laughing. “The bird went flying like a UFO.”

The tension broke a little. Laughter filled the gaps. I even saw Dad smile — really smile — for the first time in months. Jason lifted his voice over all the laughing, “hey we all still ate it once we cleaned it off!”

But just beneath the surface, I felt the weight of everything we weren’t saying. The reasons we’d drifted. The empty chair where Grandma used to sit. The unspoken arguments, the silences that used to last for days. Still, I kept carving. Piece by piece. Hoping, maybe foolishly, that this year would be different. Or at least… that it could be a start.

The chair at the end of the table stayed empty, though we’d still set it. Just habit, maybe. Or maybe because no one wanted to admit it out loud — that Grandma wasn’t coming home for Thanksgiving this year.

“She called this morning,” Mom said, passing the rolls with forced cheer. “Said the nurses let her watch the parade in the rec room. She liked the big Snoopy balloon. Said it was awfully quite around there today.”

No one responded at first. We just nodded, like we were all silently filing the information away somewhere — grateful for the update but unsure what to do with it and a little guilty they weren't there with her.

“She ask about us?” I asked finally, not looking up from the turkey.

“She always does.” Mom's smile faltered for half a second, just enough for me to catch it.

Grandma had been in rehab for three weeks now. After the fall. After the hospital. After the way her hands had started shaking so badly she could barely lift a spoon.

We’d all visited. At least once. But it didn’t feel the same. She didn’t feel the same.

“She’ll be back,” Jason said suddenly, surprising everyone. “For Christmas, probably.”

We all looked at him, and for a second I wanted to believe it too. But the way Mom looked down at her plate told a different story. We all looked at him. It was the first real thing he’d said all day, and his voice had that edge — the kind he got when he’d already made up his mind about something. At 22 years old he was still in that I know everything mindset without really knowing anything at all. He was scheduled to return to school for finals in a few days and then have a bit of a break. He was not planning on getting a job during his break but he also hadn’t gotten a job during summer break either.

I set the carving knife down. It wasn’t time to get into it.

“She might,” Mom said carefully. “We don’t know yet.”

Jason cleared his throat. “Actually, I wanted to say something.” He pushed back his chair just enough to make it squeak — that same old anxious tic from childhood. “I’m going to finish this semester but I’m not going back to school next semester,” he said. “I’ve decided to move in with Grandma. Help out with her so she can come back to her house. I’ll be there if she needs anything. You know, just—make sure she is taken care of, not alone.”

Silence.

Aunt May was the first to react. She set down her wine glass — hard enough that the base echoed off the table.

“Jason, no. Absolutely not.” Her voice was firm, the kind that left no room for argument — or tried not to. “That’s not your job. You’re 22. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. I’m afraid if you don’t go back to school you’ll never get your degree.”

“She doesn’t have much ahead of her,” Jason said quietly. “And she was there for me when no one else was. So… yeah. It is my job. School will be there … after…maybe.”

Aunt May leaned back, arms crossed, eyes sharp, deciding to not ignore the elephant in the room any longer. “Jason, she’s not coming home. Not really. I’ve talked to her doctors. They’re not going to say it outright, but—this is it. That place is her home now.”

Uncle Dan stared at the floor like this was a talk he had heard before, Mom looked like she wanted to say something but stayed silent, even the cousins stopped fidgeting eyes flicking between Jason and Aunt May. This was something they all knew was a possibility, but it hadn’t really been decided yet at least not as a family. 

“I don’t care what the doctors think,” Jason said. “she’s coming home. She just needs time, care, and SUPPORT.”

“It’s not about what she says,” May snapped. “She’s confused. She doesn’t even remember what year it is half the time.”

That landed like a slap. Jason’s jaw tightened. “She remembers me. I’ve visited her every day since I got home. We laugh. She tells me stories, she remembers it’s just harder for her to voice it sometimes. I painted her nails once, changed her when she made a mess, and helped her wash her hair. I can do this!”

A long pause followed. No one realized he had been visiting her every day since he got home. The turkey was getting cold. The cranberry sauce sat untouched. Finally, Dad muttered, “Maybe we should all just eat.”

But the air had changed. Something had cracked.

Jason shifted in his seat, clearly trying to hold his ground, but something in his posture had changed. Like the armor was starting to slip. “I’m not trying to be a hero,” he said, quieter now. “It just makes sense. She needs someone. I’ve got the time.”

Aunt May wasn’t buying it. “You also don’t have a job, Jason. Or a plan. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” Her tone was sharp but not unkind — just tired. “This is easier than figuring out what you actually want.”

Jason’s eyes darted to Mom, maybe hoping for a lifeline. She stayed neutral, which was somehow worse.

“I do want this,” he insisted, but the words hung a little hollow, "she needs this ... she needs .. ME!"

“You don’t want to go back to school,” May said flatly. “And you don’t want to admit you have no idea what comes next. So taking care of Grandma gives you an out. You get to say you’re doing something important, and maybe you are — but it also means you don’t have to do anything else.”

He didn’t deny it.

I watched him shrink a little in his seat, not defeated, just... exposed. There was no speech coming. No big defense.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted. “I’m not like you guys. I don’t have this big plan. School felt like pretending. I’d sit in class and feel like I was watching someone else’s life happen. It's not that it is hard it just feels like I'm drifting and I could be drifting or I could be with Grandma who needs someone. At least around her I feel like I matter.”

That quieted the table.

Even May seemed to soften, if only slightly. “You do matter. But you can’t pour your whole self into someone who’s already halfway out the door. That’s not saving her. That’s getting stuck. You do realize it could be 6 months, 2 years, 5 years, we just don't know.”

Jason looked down at his plate. He didn’t say anything else.

The turkey was finally being passed around again, but everything tasted different now. The conversations started back up about daily life, and a discussion about the big game coming up. They all felt that this was a return to a semi normal holiday lunch, but it felt like a calm before another storm. 

Once dinner was over and the plates had been cleared away many retreated to the living room to watch football, play cards, work on a puzzle together. The kids went into the yard to play. Jason quietly slipped out of the house cause he couldn’t let the day go by without going to see his grandmother. During clean up he fixed her a plate of all of her favorite things it was time for him to deliver it to her.

She scarfed down the plate of food like she hadn’t eaten in days and thanked him for it as she did. He told her who all was at lunch and how it wasn’t the same without her there. When she asked if anyone else was coming to visit he had to admit he didn’t know. As she finished her lunch he removed her plate and sat back on the edge of the bed. The fluorescent lights buzzed faintly overhead as Jason sat by the edge of Grandma’s bed, holding her hand gently in both of his. Her fingers, once strong and quick with crochet hooks, and casserole dishes, now trembled softly as they rested in his. It was time to tell her.

“You’re looking better,” Jason said, trying to smile. “Way better than the other day at least. Your color is coming back.”

Grandma smiled back, a little lopsided but still hers. “They’ve got me doing leg lifts. Nasty little things. But I’m strong.” She tapped her knee. “Still got some kick left. I walked down the hall and back this morning! They wanted me to use that blasted wheelchair but I wanted to see if I could do it.”

Jason nodded. He was quiet for a long moment after that. Then he drew a breath, shaky and too loud in the small room. “I wanted to tell you something,” he said, his voice cracking a little. “I… I can’t move in with you. When you get out.”

Her face fell slowly, like a curtain dropping.

“I thought maybe I could,” he went on, eyes flicking away. “But they’re saying it’s not safe. That I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. That I might do more harm than good. I just… I wanted to believe we could make it work.”

Grandma didn’t answer right away. Her eyes filled, not sudden and dramatic, but slow — the kind of tears that come from somewhere deep, old, tired. “So I won’t be going home,” she said softly.

Jason swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”

“But I won’t.” She nodded a little, like she was confirming it to herself. “They’ve been telling me that. I just didn’t want to hear it unless it came from you.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice was small now. “I really wanted to be there for you.”

She squeezed his hand with what strength she had left. “You are here for me.”

Neither of them saw Aunt May standing in the doorway.

She’d come to drop off some fresh socks and books and it never even dawned on her to bring a plate, which she saw on the side table and knew Jason had to have brought it. When she saw the two of them — the way Jason sat slumped forward, head bowed in quiet shame, the way Grandma looked at him like he was the last bright thread of a fading world — she froze. Something inside her shifted. Because suddenly, she remembered all the times she hadn’t been there — too busy, too tired, too practical. All the holidays she left early cause something “important” came up, the times she put work over family, the times she frankly didn’t have time for the drama. The calls she sent to voicemail. The she thought of how her grandmother had never done that to her. Of the times Grandma had shown up to help with the kids during school breaks, the meals she’d bring over cause she frankly didn’t want to eat alone and grandpa was off somewhere, the mess that she would clean up or laundry she would take over — all without being asked. And Jason, awkward and lost as he was, had noticed what she hadn’t. And now here he was — not hiding. Not running. Just sitting with someone who was fading, refusing to let her go invisible.

Quietly, May stepped back from the door and wiped her face with the sleeve of her coat before she walked in.

“Hey,” she said softly, as she entered the room,  “Mind if I join you guys?”

Jason looked up, surprised. Grandma smiled through her tears. May pulled a chair over and sat on the other side of the bed. She reached out, took Grandma’s other hand, and for once didn’t say anything practical at all. They just sat there. Three generations. Nothing solved, nothing fixed — but for the first time, something was shared.

-------

The morning Jason left for finals, the sky was still that pale winter gray that makes everything feel half-asleep.

He stood in the driveway, stuffing his duffel into the backseat of his beat-up Honda. May was already outside, holding a travel mug in one hand and a manila folder in the other — her version of a goodbye gift.

“I threw in a gas card and a few gift cards so you won’t starve. Study hard but don’t forget to take care of yourself,” she said, handing over the folder. “oh and I also printed out a study guide from one of those sites I know you don’t actually use.”

Jason grinned, a little sheepishly. “Thanks, Aunt May.” They stood there for a second, the air between them filled with all the words they’d already said — and the quiet relief of knowing they didn’t need to repeat them.

“I’ll check in on her while you’re gone,” May said, more gently than she normally spoke. “Every couple of days at least if not more.”

Jason nodded. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” she cut in. Then, after a beat, “You were right, by the way. She was always there. I just never let myself notice it.”

Jason didn’t say anything. He just hugged her — a little stiff at first, then solid. Then he jumped in his car and backed out of the driveway.

The nursing home was quiet later that week when May sat down with the doctors. They gave her their professional opinion: it was too risky. The house wasn’t equipped. There was a fall risk. There were care needs. They weren’t wrong. But May had made up her mind.

“She wants to go home,” she said. “I want to give her that. Even if it’s not forever. Even if it’s just for a little while.”

The paperwork was tedious, the calls endless, the modifications to the house a headache. But somehow, it all got done. A borrowed hospital bed. A home nurse two days a week. Rails on the stairs. Meals in the freezer.

And when Jason came back, road-weary and sleep-deprived but somehow a little taller, a little clearer — the front door opened, and there she was.

Sitting in the living room. Wrapped in her favorite blue cardigan. The afternoon sun spilling through the lace curtains. Her photos back on the mantle. Her life — pieced together, if imperfectly — in its rightful place.

“Surprise,” May said from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dish towel. “Don’t get excited. It’s still trial and error.”

Jason just stared. Then he walked over to Grandma and knelt beside her, taking her hand. “You’re home.”

She smiled, eyes glistening. “I told you I would be.”

Behind him, May leaned against the doorframe and watched as her mother’s frail hand rested in Jason’s steady one. She still wasn’t sure this would work. But for once, she didn’t need certainty. She just needed this moment — this return, this connection, this choice — and for now, that was enough. Jason walked over and hugged her, quiet but saying everything at the same time.

A few weeks later the house smelled like cinnamon and cloves, like pine needles and roast turkey. Snow had fallen the night before, blanketing the yard in soft white that seemed to hush the whole world.

Christmas lights blinked gently around the window frames. Someone had set Grandma’s old ceramic tree on the sideboard, its tiny colored bulbs glowing like candy. Holiday music played faintly in the background — the old stuff, the records she loved to hum along with, that Jason has started learning by heart singing along with her as they played. It took some doing but Grandma sat at the head of the table, wrapped in a quilt she’d sewn decades ago. Her breathing was slower now, and her frame seemed smaller every time Jason looked at her — but her eyes sparkled brighter than they had in years. She looked out over her table with all the glit and glitter that a festive holiday occasion called for and took stock in her family surrounding her and quietly thanked God for a wonderful life. The chaos and laughter and clink of glasses that came with a big family meal had all returned to this house, even just for today. Her house. Her family. She was home.

Jason stood beside her, watching carefully as she reached for the carving knife. Her hand trembled as she gripped the handle. Then she looked up at him, her eyes meeting his.

“I think it’s your turn, sweetheart,” she said, and handed him the knife.

He took it gently, both hands, as if it were something sacred. Maybe it was.

Everyone grew quiet for a moment as he stood there, looking around the table — at May, who gave him the smallest nod, at Mom, at his cousins, all of them waiting, breathing in something tender and unspoken.

“I want to thank you all,” Jason said. “For being here. For showing up. For letting today be about joy, not sadness. That’s what she wanted. That’s what we all needed.”

Grandma smiled, a single tear slipping down her cheek. Not from grief — from fullness. Jason turned back to the turkey and slowly, carefully, made the first cut. A moment passed. Then another. And just like that, the room exhaled as he started passing around the slices and mentioned that time he dropped the turkey.

Laughter started again. More plates were passed, wine was consumed. Stories flowed like cider. For that one afternoon  it was not about endings. It was about everything that had ever mattered before and everything that would come tomorrow cause there would be a tomorrow and time only knew how long they would have for days like this.




Well there you go ... .what did you think ?! Anyone.... Buller?! Buller ?! IYKYK :) 

Marcy

Friday, December 31, 2021

Happy...whatever....

I had grand plans to do this end of year wrap up post then I just didn’t which is kind of a fitting way to end 2021 actually. I am currently sitting at my kitchen table writing this and watching mom juice about 75 Limequats which are apparently what you get when you plant a lemon tree and a cumquat tree to close together …or some BS like that. So that she will have juice for pies but she can throw out the Limequats. PS they are very very tart so the Lemon is strong in that quat.

I am also setting up my dad’s new Samsung phone (I’m a multi-tasker afterall). A few months ago my father destroyed the back of his phone. Like destroyed it. Little pieces of glass everywhere. We took it apart and tried to put a new back on but it wouldn’t hold as the glue or tape on the back had lost its sticky. So me and the engineer decided to take the back off and put superglue on it and well it held but it wasn’t pretty. It was only a matter of time before that failed so for Christmas I got him a new phone. I also got my mom a new one so they now have the exact same phone.

Mom’s phone was different. She had the old Microsoft phone, maybe one of the last phones still working. AT&T sent her a text saying yeah we aren’t supporting that phone anymore so we are going to send you a free one. I was like yeah right delete it mom it’s a scam. DON’T CLICK ON ANYTHING!!!!! … amazing how many times I have to tell them that. Then a few weeks later we got a letter … saying the same thing. No phone. A month or so later I called them and after being on the phone for over an hour and the dude trying to sell me everything under the sun we determined that in fact they were sending my mom a phone and we should get an e-mail when it is shipped. Damned if we didn’t. They sent it and it was the slowest piece of shit I’ve ever held in my hands. I knew eventually that would get on her nerves. The box was in my bedroom but I hadn’t wrapped it yet. One night as we watched yet another Cheesy Crimas movie it happened. She announced to the room that she wasn’t going to have a phone, didn’t need a phone and didn’t want a fucking phone for Christmas! I sat there through her rant and the next day spent the morning setting up her phone (hence why I’m setting up dads (you just did it after all)) then I went to give it to her and while she was mad a hell and didn’t want to take it, she felt like it was too expensive, she eventually did and I think is very happy that I did give her one. It still frustrates her sometimes but I do think she likes it. I hope so anyway. As an adult it’s rare I can give them Christmas presents they aren’t expecting and neither saw that coming. It was a nice feeling.

 It’s currently 84 degrees outside on this New Year’s Eve which is just stupid. The air outside is heavy with moisture and there’s a feeling of bad weather in the air. I hope it holds off cause well I’m not sure why. I’m not planning to go anywhere and I really feel like I’ll be asleep long before the ball drops but it just seems strange going into the new year with tornados in the air. Then again maybe that’s how 2021 should go out the door.

 I’ve been sick the last week or so. Not Rona, I don’t think. I’m 98% sure it was a sinus infection. I was all snotty and gross and congested. I never did the RONA test, I just stayed home, worked from the house and am now feeling much better. Tho my left nostril has some explaining to do. For some reason it refuses to work but jokes on him I’ll just breathe through my mouth! I never had a fever, never had a headache, lost sense of taste or smell, and never really felt “bad” thus why I don’t think I had the RONA. Then again I’ve had both my shots, I’ve had the booster, I wear the mask when in public and so if I did get the RONA I was going to be mad as hell. However I also understand I’m very likely to have had it, never really know it and spread it, hence my staying home this past week. Several of my coworkers didn’t come back from Crimmus cause they had tested positive or were in contact with others who tested positive so next week at work should be … interesting. My partner in crime Golden has also been battling sickness this past week, however as a medical marvel that’s more the norm for her than the surprise.

 The reason for the year end post is that I realized not too long ago that our little Blog turned 7 this past August … one day I’m going to actually remember the birthday of this blog but alas this was not the year. I thought well that’s not really a milestone age .. I mean it’s not like 5 or 10 it’s just a 7 .. but to me that is a pretty big deal. For 7 years I’ve wasted your time with drivel that fell out of my head and some of you read them all, some of you didn’t and that’s ok ..the point is that despite my best efforts .. this blog isn’t dead yet. That’s 250 blog posts (once this one goes live), some that were substantial, some that were by Golden, and some that were just to say I posted something. Not surprisingly that first year (2014) I had over 83 posts but that was also the year that I did a post a day in November and with this thing being new and all it was fun and interesting still. The second biggest year was 2019 which came after a year with the lowest number of posts, also the year that really tried to take us down but didn't succeed. 2019 was my re-launch of this blog so to speak and we haven’t looked back since. Sure, there are some months with one or no posts but hey I did keep it going. This year we have had 10 posts, well 11 once this one goes live.

I’ve been thinking about how different life was 7 years ago. 7 years ago … I had a boss that was literally sucking the professional life out of me, to the point where I had started looking for a new job. I knew the grass always seemed greener on the other side. I loved the company I worked for and most of the people, but I was just done with her. HEAR THAT AMERICA IT’S NOT ALWAYS WE DON’T WANNA WORK IT IS SOMETIMES WE DON’T WANT TO WORK FOR SPECIFIC PEOPLE!!!! Nothing I did was good enough, and if I ever tried to step up and do more than expected I was suddenly “out for her job.” I had gotten to the point where I took everything that was personal out of my office. No pictures on the walls, no sitting around fun stuff to show it was my office, even my candy dish (which always bothered her cause A. she couldn’t stay out of it (somehow that was my fault) and B. cause my coworkers would stop by and chat as they got a piece and never stopped to chat with her). I wanted to be able to literally go down to HR say I’ve had enough and quit. I didn’t expect her to let me work a 2 week notice and so instead of her standing there watching me pack a box of my stuff I could grab my purse and get the *uck out. My coworkers noticed I didn’t put anything up for the holidays, they noticed the lack of personal stuff in my office and started trying to build me up, which frankly made her even madder. They were dark days for sure work wise. Now it's 7 years later, I just celebrated my 18th anniversary at the same job, I've got an amazing boss, I have been promoted twice and just celebrated my first year of being the manager of my department with my own staff. I have taken on more responsibility than I have ever had, and I love my job more today than I did back then, tho it often stresses me past the breaking point but that's on me not them. So, she can suck it! :D 

However, I guess she can be credited with not only hiring the boss I currently have but also with this blog as the stress of the office was making me not want to do anything outside of work either. I was spending so much energy in the week not cussing her out that by Friday I was mentally drained, and Golden came up with a fantastic idea of starting this blog to refocus that energy. I will always love her for that. I would give anything if could find something similar for her. She’s made guest appearances on this blog from time to time and frankly she is much better at this than I am. The way she tells a story, the humor, the details, the drama. She uses worked like a pen in the way that I only wish I could. She paints a story in someone’s head and damn I wish I could do that. I’ve begged her to try her hand at writing a book, I think it would be a best seller. I’m going to keep at her and keep striving to be more like her in every aspect that I can.

 7 years ago, Golden was also in a place with her job where it was taking the very soul out of her body. However, unlike me she was released and found a new path and now she is in another job that she really likes but that has taken everything she has to survive it during this pandemic. The crazy thing is she is really good at this job, it’s just …. too much sometimes. Staff shortages and overtime hours is starting to take a toll, but she’s survived it and hasn’t murdered anyone and for that I’m both grateful and a little shocked. See Golden is a 100% essential worker who works at a facility that runs 24 hours 7 days a week. As I mentioned previously Golden is a medical marvel and needs the downtime that her current situation is just not supplying, I pray that in 2022 she gets some rest, some peace and finds a balance between work and not work. Heck even when off they call her more than she tweets which is a problem. Even in her downtime she’s never too far away.

SHUT up … as I was finishing this I got an alert that Betty White has left us … damn you 2021 … but well played 2022 … don’t let that be on your shoulders …….. damn ….. rest well Mrs. White we’ll take it from here.

 So, I’m ending this on that note …. See you guys on the other side…. I hope.

Marcy

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Happy New Year to all my readers, or those that accidently clicked on this link when it was posted on Twitter. Welcome to the random thoughts that fall our of my mind, through my arms and fingers and into this blog. I’ve decided I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions, every year I do and every year it just becomes a list of things I didn’t do, or accomplish. So I’m not falling for it again. Nope not me. 

It’s been a very interesting year. From the struggles with my mom’s health (she’s doing amazing by the way), to work stress, it just felt like one long Groundhog type day. You know one of those days where no matter what I did during the day I get up and we do it all over again. That’s not to say there weren’t fun or good moments sprinkled in throughout the year cause there was.

I got a little more involved at the Church, helping the finance office, serving on the “Imagine Team” and once again helping with VBS and dressed as Marvin the Martian at our annual Trunk or Treat in October.  

In January I got to see Vanessa Peters at the Listening Room, for the 2nd time. She’s as lovely today as she was a year ago when I met her. I would make my way back to the Listening Room – now known as the People’s Room of Mobile - in a few months to see my musical hero. I really should spend more time at the Listening Room (AKA People’s Room). I should spend more time doing a lot of things but especially that. I keep saying I’m going to go down there one day and just see whose playing. Maybe this year.

Auburn of course was another highlight of my life, as it has been for the last 40 something years. I got to see a Baseball game, a basketball game, a few football games, softball and volleyball games as well as a couple gymnastic meets all in person or TV. I really want to see more in person. I mean what is science doing if not building me a portal that allows me to teleport to these venues so I can have these fun experiences then get back in time for work the next day. I mean comeon! Get on that.

In March I got to go to a work conference and visit my cousin to meet her new daughter, who has recently started walking, the daughter not my cousin. Int was that trip that I also got to spend a few days with a dear friend of mine. I think that would have been a TON of fun if I weren’t also on my social media break for lent. I might have to not do that again this year. ha!

In April I attended my first (and likely only) Kiss concert with a friend which I have to admit I enjoyed more than I thought I would. They are her all time favorite band and since this was their farewell tour it was now or never. I also saw KC and the Sunshine band with this same friend back in June.

In May I took a work trip to Tampa to help with a project. I think they are expecting me to do that again this year. It was nice to get out of the office that’s for sure. Later that same month I got to fart around with Golden for her birthday where we watched movies, ate good good, laughed and reconnected.

In August I got to sit in a room and listen to my musical idol play music, I could listen to Bryan White read a phone book and be happy as a clam.

Golden and I made another trip to Dragon Con and while it wasn’t exactly as we had hoped or planned that it would be I think we made the best of it and had a really good time.

As far as this blog is concerned I brought it back to life some what with 50 posts with only 3 months without a post. I am kind of proud of that. Of course my 30 posts in November as part of a challenge I gave to myself helped in that effort but I’m trying to keep this thing going. I still can’t believe that I’ve been using this thing since 2014 that’s over 200 posts that you guys have sat through and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you guys indulging me when I need to give my brain a break from the world.

Marcy
@beaslma

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Happy New Year



Happy New Year …. Some 12 days into the new year but yeah you haven’t told me happy new year yet either so suck it! In prep for this post I looked back at the previous year and you know what …. We didn’t do half bad …. We didn’t do great mind you, I’m not at all saying I deserve a pat on my back or anything but we had 8 various posts spread out through 6 different months and to me that’s pretty darn good. Hey I was an average student who was damn proud of a C, an A or B was better of course but I could live with a C. In the real world no one cares if you got C’s ….. a friend recently told me "D stands for Diploma" and I thought well not really but maybe .... ha …. just saying.

Last year I shared some original writing, did a few music posts about Eric Erdman and The Springs, shared my Social MediaBreak during lent, and my transition to a new phone - UPDPATE: I did go with the S9+ and LOVE it. So when I say it was a variety of topics I’m not joking. My problem with this blog is that I often think ohhhh I should write about my frustrations with never getting to go to a movie in a theater and why it never seems to happen and how I hope that it will happen more then something horrific happens in the world and I think well that just seems assy now. I want to be a lot of things when I grow up but assy isn’t one of them. So then I delete the word document and move on with my day. I used to keep them thinking I’d post it later but then later never came or when I went back to read it the post seemed silly and unnecessary cause I was no longer in that frame of mind. 


Last year was fun I went to our corporate office for a “retreat” in Franklin, TN (got to take one of my coworkers on her first flight which was really fun), went to DragonCon with Golden, saw several concerts with my friend Katie including Def Leppard and Journey in New Orleans, and capped off the year with Christina in Disney for Halloween. Now that I look back at this blog … kind of should have shared more of those events with you guys. This year I have a concert with Vanessa Peters to look forward to (later this month), Kiss in Birmingham with Katie, Christina and I are trying to get a trip to AU pulled together, and of course Dragon Con with Golden. Did I mention that Golden and I will be in a host hotel for the first time and not just any host hotel but the mother of all host hotels … THE MARRIOT !!!!! I am so excited about this turn of events. There is also talk of sending me to a conference in March in Ashville NC but no confirmation on that from the powers that be. Hopefully I'll get off my duff and make those blog worthy cause they totes should be. 

This past year I’ve also hesitated to write anything for fear that someone might read it (AKA family) and get their feelings hurt. I have since realized that I can’t let that hold me back. My mother almost died twice this year, and while no one in my family reads this thing (that I know of) I’d have hated one of them reading about some of our struggles and in particular my frustrations throughout it since it wasn’t that we weren’t really telling people about it but at first we didn’t know what to say. Here’s the story ……. she was sick and instead of making her go to a doctor we let her “handle it her way” until her way wasn’t working anymore. I finally forced the issue and called 911 myself and if I hadn’t she would have bled to death within the next 12-24 hours. She had a bleeding ulcer that was trying to perforate. She sat in the ER all night long and well into the next day getting blood, losing blood and waiting for someone to decide they were going to do something. At the same time my father was on the other side of the hospital getting his pacemaker replaced. Thank god for my brother, he was able to sit with mom while I was with my dad and that was the longest 12-24 hours of my life. Once dad was done we checked him out, drove him around the hospital (he wanted to see my mom), he went back into the ER (by himself cause they wouldn’t let us go with him – one at a time they said) while my brother and I hung out After leaving the ER at midnight and being back at the hospital at 5 I was in zombie mode as the adrenalin was wearing off. Then he took my dad home (later I discovered dad had him replace a toilet and I was livid) and I went to sit with my mom who kept telling me to go home and rest. She finally had surgery that afternoon around 4. They “fixed it” but the doctor said she almost died on the table twice and he was shaking when he said it which did not fill me with warm fuzzys. A week later she was home. Two weeks after that we were back in the ER and this time they had to slice open her stomache from side to side when they weren’t able to clamp and artery. That one we really almost lost her. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks and in rehab for 2 more weeks. She is now home and getting stronger every day but it was a tough 2-3 months for sure. She claims if she sees blood again she’s not saying anything cause that ordeal took a lot out of her. I hope that’s all talk but I also am checking her more often now because of it. I feel like I’m in three lives right now. My work life, my home life, and my by myself life. If I’m not working or taking care of mom I’m in my room watching you tube trying to get myself tired enough to sleep. I’m not sleeping well. I’m averaging about 4-5 hours a night but it’s interrupted sleep so I’d say I’m getting less than that. I’m still moving however so that’s something I’m proud of. My father has been a ROCK throughout this entire ordeal, who would have thought it. He has the bed side manner of say Peter Griffin. He means well but often he’s just in the way but this time I think he’s proving the definition of for better or for worse. God love them they are a cute little couple. Dad’s running himself half ragged too but he’s also pushing himself harder than I’d like. I keep telling him to take some time for himself but I really think he’s “fixing mom” which is replacing some of the guilt he has from “not being able to fix his mom” when he was working and had two kids and Alzheimer’s is a **tch even if he doesn’t believe she had it. She totes did but i'm not gonna argue with him about it just now.

So this is a post to say Happy New Year and a post to keep this blog alive and to try and get my voice back on this thing. I really do enjoy using this blog to share my thoughts and gives with the world I just need to make it more of a priority. I'm nearly 40 (in like 15 days) so that's going to fun to share as well. It's a new decade for me … let's make it a good one. 

Marcy

Sunday, December 31, 2017

2018 Resolutions/Guidelines

HAPPY NEW YEAR…. In a few hours … look I plan to be sound asleep in bed at midnight or at least in bed wishing the neighbors would stop with the fireworks already. So I’m telling you happy new year now mostly cause I can’t wait for this shitstorm of a year to just go. Seriously 2017 don’t let the door hit you on the way out. It’s not 2017’s fault, really I mean it just showed up and what happened …well it just happened however I’m blaming 2017 cause there’s really no one else to blame.

Overall it was a pretty decent year, for me anyway, for the Country that's for history to decide. My 2017 resolutions all pretty much came out ahead so that’s a positive. In 2017 my resolutions included write more … which I did … kinda …hey I finished my Haley and Michael’s story so that’s one thing I did … I didn’t start a new one which I had wanted to do but hey that’s Future Marcy’s problem right?! I also wanted to exercise and lose some weight. I did kind of do this, I maintained the weight I was at so I didn’t gain any but I lost very little too so I’m calling this one a draw. I wanted to Travel more and damn if that didn’t rocket to the top of my success list. I traveled to Auburn a few times, Birmingham a few more times, Atlanta a few times, Pensacola (for work), Orlando for fun, and Nashville for the best weekend ever. I definitely can say that this resolution was met with a very happy yes let’s do that attitude. I wanted to get more involved in church, since I had just started a new church in 2016 and I can definitely report that I did do that, from Vacation Bible School to helping with Communion and the Nursery this was also a successful resolution. I also helped with several “parents night out events” and have been appointed to keeping up with the monies coming in and out of the church in 2018 which I’ve already started. I wanted to spend more time with friends which I can report I did so, I mean I didn’t go on all those trips myself did I? I want to make more time to stop and do lunch with friends, or have dinner with friends I don’t see often more in 2018 so that’s a new goal. I also didn’t want to die. That was the main thing I wanted to accomplish for 2017 and I can proudly say that I accomplished that goal. Whew … it was touch and go panic wise most of the year but I did it. Suck it 2017.

So … what do I hope to accomplish in 2018 …. What does it have in store for me ….. what can I try to control when the outside world is too much ….. these are my resolutions/guidelines for 2018 …

1.       Lose Weight – I desperate need to keep this one in check. It’s weird I’m like the opposite of anorexic, like I don’t feel overweight when I’m just sitting around or walking around then I walk by a piece of store front glass and I’m like who the hell is that or someone takes a picture and I’m all ewwwwwwwwwwwww. I really need to get this in check sooner than later and no time like the present, or tomorrow, maybe tomorrow is better. If nothing else I want to be able to go to things and buy a tshirt remembering that trip or that event and right now I’m often told they don’t have that size I have started wearing clothing that fits instead of clothing that’s too big so I can hide in it some. That’s helped a bit but I have more work to be done … stupid chips … being so damn delicious.

2.       Clean More – I have a tendency to let things go until I simply can’t take it anymore then have a massive day where I spend it cleaning, typically it’s a Saturday and by say 5pm I’m done even if I’m not done. So my area often looks worse than it is cause there are piles of crap everywhere. I need to take a lot of stuff to good will, I have far more clothes than I’ll ever wear, I need to throw things away that I’m not going to use and are of no use to anyone else. These are things I really need to do. I should also vacuum more but I know me let’s start with just being able to sit on the window seat.

3.       Spend more time with Friends – this includes dinners after work, or long lunches with friends I don’t see often. I did some of that this past year but not nearly as much. There was still al lot “let’s do x-y-z” then nothing came of it, and I miss these people. My goal is to do more of the planning and less of the not doing the planning. I’m not talking long trips, I’m talking around town going to movies, going to dinner, having adult conversations over adult beverages. I’m really bad about thinking no one wants to do x-y-z with me so I don’t ask, but I need to trust these people to tell me no. ha!

4.       Travel more – I want to continue to travel in 2018. I really enjoyed that aspect of 2017 getting to go and do things instead of being at work or not being at work. I even enjoyed a few of my work travel trips, tho my friendship trips were way more fun obviously. It’s not even 2018 and I already have a trip to New Orleans planned for Mardi Gras (who am I ?) and also a trip to Orlando in October with that same friend now that I think about it. So I’m hoping 2018 will follow 2017’s example and I’ll have more fun during my “downtime” cause after all that’s why I work as hard as I do right?!

5.       Spend time with the nephew’s – As I said the other day the older nephew will be in college next year, that’s just insane. I know after he gets to Auburn he’ll have less time with his aunt Marcy and that’s ok. He’s growing up and has his own life but I have little time left to hang with him so I want to take advantage of it even if he’s busier than I am between school, work and his girlfriend, bring her a long, I like her. As for the little one when big bro leaves I want to hang with him more too cause I remember when my brother left for school I suddenly felt like I was disconnected from him even if we didn’t spent a lot of time together as it was. I want to do more with them than go to a sporting event, have lunch, then come home.

6.       Discover new music – last year I found a new artist whom I adore cause I took a chance and found someone who I my ear holes have been very happy that I found. My twitter follower list is filled with independent artist just waiting for that big break and I like seeing that from the beginning. I also want to post more about these artist to try and put their name out there some. When this blog first started I wrote a lot about my obsession with music, I need to get back into that.

7.       See more movies – I’m not talking about DVDs tho I do have a ton of those still in the wrappers but I’m talking seeing movies in the theater. I had several movies this year that I wanted to see then never did. Either I couldn’t’ find anyone interested in said movie or there wasn’t a good time to go so the movie left the theater. My goal this year a movie every other month even if I have to go alone, I mean it’s not like me and the friend I drag along are going to be talking through the movie right?

8.       Write more letters – sure social media is fine and allows us to feel connected even when we really aren’t, but a long or short letter to someone can make their day. I want to do that more often, I had a pen pal I guess I still have that pen pal I haven’t heard from her in a while but I went a few months without reaching out to her too. I want to make more of an effort to her and to others in my life who aren’t close enough to touch but that would be fun to reach out to in this more traditional way.



So that’s the plan for 2018 …… I’m sure I’m leaving a few things off but just cause they aren’t on this list that doesn’t mean I can’t do them right?! I’m not nearly as anxiety ridden about 2018 as I was but I see another social media break for me in my future. I really enjoyed the Lent break I took and I think that’s going to become a yearly thing for me. It’s good to step away, stop with the RT and shares and think about how we use that platform not always for the greater good. I’m hoping that 2018 will include more conversations and less name calling, more discussions about events and ideas and less dismissing things outright since they don’t fit into my beliefs. I think we can make the world a better place in 2018 but only if we strive to listen to one another, have the conversations we’ve been avoiding and realize that it’s ok to not agree with others as long as those disagreements are done respectively. You can’t change someone’s view but treating that person as if they are an asshat. You don’t have to change the world but you can make it a better place. Let’s make 2018 a positive year and that starts with what we post, how we interact with one another and frankly what we put out into the world. 

Let’s do this!

Marcy (@beaslma)

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Blogaversary

So I noticed a few weeks ago that our Blogaversary was coming up, and then like a husband whose been married for years promptly forgot about it until today. Our “TEST” post was on Aug. 2nd, 2014 … our first real post was on Aug. 3rd a day later. I say it was the first real one because it had content the other was me playing around to see how this crazy thing was going to work before posting the first one. Kind of a trial drive to the hospital before the wife looks across the room to say, um dear it’s time.  

It’s insane to me that we have been blogging for 3 years, yeah ok there was that time frame where we “took a break” so it hasn’t been constant blogging all the time but we showed up when we felt we had something to say. We didn’t want to have a blog that constantly hit you with nonsense but one that provided content worth your time as well as ours. Well that sounds better than we got busy/lazy and forgot this thing existed for a while…. Right?!

Truth be told like any deadbeat dad we only had one really bad year. In 2014, we had 83 posts spread out over 5 months; in 2015, we had 42 posts with at least one post a month for the entire year; in 2016 that’s where we really earned our deadbeat dad status. We had 13 posts in 2016, and missed 4 months in all which is when we were called in front of the Judge and given an ultimatum. Use it or lose it. Stop wasting the internet. So, this year we have made an effort to get back into blogging even if lately I feel like I’m using it more as a diary than a blog. We have only missed one month this year which frankly surprised me when I realized it was May which as you all know is the month of Golden. Upon reflection, I did post about Golden’s Birth Month but it was posted on the last day of April so technically we did post about May but technically we also didn’t if you want to get technical about it.


Our audience for this blog has been a little weird like our President we have a lot of people from the US have viewed our blog but the next largest audience has come from Russia. We also have people from France, Germany, Poland, and of course Canada and the United Kingdom.


Speaking of the United Kingdom I find it really funny that the post with the most page views, which is my favorite of all time, was the original fiction that I wrote about Haley and Michael sat the airport meeting Harry and Kate as they arrive in London for the Benefit Concert. I love that story and could read it every day and sometimes do when I feel that my talent has left me for good.


I tweeted the blog post to Haley and Michaels and they retweeted it to their followers and now it’s got 180 page views, the most of any of them that we have posted. 2nd is Golden explaining her Birthmonth that first year 3rd and 4th are also about Golden. What I’m saying is Golden is a huge part of this blog even if she only posts every once and a while. She’s much better at this than I am I just have a better internet connection.

During the life of this blog we have had 152 posts total, with over 11,530 page views which is really cool. We did have a single commenter “Grumybozo” who no longer seems to exist. I did find it ironic tho that the post about giving up social media started a conversation making me feel a little social. Well I did post a comment to one of the blog posts but I’m not counting that which is completely in my rights as I celebrate my Blogaversary … it is too a word Golden if you can make words up I can too! Why would anyone spell it Blogiversary …. No .. that’s just dumb. Blogaversary … that makes more sense and since we are making it up well that’s what we’ll use.

Returning to Golden she says “3 years is a pretty long time, even though I don’t do anything remotely like I should to keep it going. 3 years still going even little by little means you haven’t given up, so I’m happy with that. Congratulations!” I say to her thank you for bringing this project to me and starting it up cause we both know I wouldn’t have done it on my own.

Here’s to the next 3 years …… or more…. Oh who are we kidding let’s concentrate on just getting to the end of this year.