Random Thoughts

Over the years I’ve had thoughts for various blogs but nothing worthy of a “full blog” in my opinion so I held them back until they pilled up into a ball of randomness that would equal what I call a “full blog” posting. I’ve called these posts a variety of things …. “Time for a catch up” ...  “Jumping onto my soap box”  …  “venting” … “Random Thoughts”  …   “What Grinds my Gears”  but most have their own problems. They all basically allow me to talk about randomness that really doesn’t connect together and get them out of my head. Time for a catch up implies that you know the background of what I’m talking about, sometimes you will sometimes you won’t if you’v been paying attention. Jumping on my soap box, venting and what grinds my gears implies that what I’m talking about has passion about a particular subject usually things that annoy me or frankly piss me off. However in this particular instance that is not the case. I have decided however to go with “Random Thoughts” from here on out… so here we go.

Birthday … A week ago dear readers I turned well …. Yeah I’m gonna say it …. 44  and let me tell you lately I’ve been feeling all of those years. More on that in a moment. It was a good birthday. Pretty low key, which is how I like em. The day before my work peeps took me to lunch. On my actual birthday the boss and my department took me to lunch (It was a Friday and many of my work peeps are doing the 10 hour days so they can have Friday’s off thing to save “gas”) So I was treated to lunch on two days and it was very nice. I didn’t necessarily have “time” for it but it was nice to get out of the office and enjoy some fellowship, comradery, and good food and a break from the insanity that was a Friday at work. That night my parents and brother and Sister in Law took me to dinner. All I really wanted for my birthday was a nice Steak. I got it and enjoyed the haties out of it.  Don’t get me wrong I enjoy celebrating my birthday I just as I’m getting older don’t want the attention. Not because of the number but because … well…. I don’t give the same energy back to my friends on theirs and that makes me feel really shitty. I want to give that energy but I’m just exhausted from giving my energy to so many things. Yes I am well aware of how lame that sounds …. Just give it to me ok.  

Doctors/Kidney Stone … Around Thanksgiving my back started bothering me really bad. During “Covid” my General Practice doctor left his practice and started a practice for 65 and older crowd focused on I guess Medicare/Medicaid ? AKA I was out cause as I stated previously, I am well under that number. I wasn’t “needing” a doctor and didn’t want to venture into the places where the sick people might be mingling so I didn’t do anything about it. A few times I masked up and went to an urgent care for a steroid shot or an antibiotic and went on with my life. So when I called the old place that I used to go to with my old GP and was like “I have done something to my back” the nice lady on the phone basically said go fuck yourself. With people out with the Flu and vacations being scheduled for holidays the earliest I could get in would be January. I was like are you kidding me right now? She said no. I said bye. I suffered through it taking an anti-inflammatory pills that I had from when I had hurt my knee and some “over the counter” pain relievers to help me sleep but every morning it was like I’d get out of bed and someone would shank me in the lower part of my back in the exact same place every single day. At one point I even thought I had Sciatica and would try to do the “exercises” I found online for it. FIRST OFF WHY DOES EVERY BACK REMEDY START WITH GET YOUR ARSE ON THE FLOOR. If I could get off said floor that would be different but cheese and rice man I can’t do that. I’d try and I’d fail every time. There were a few times that I almost threw up from the pain and several other times that I let the pain get the best of me and had to clean up the results of that. I’ll spare you those details.

                                               

Needless to say I finally had enough and right around Christmas/New Years drug myself to the Urgent Care cause there was no way this was “just a strained back” anymore. I started having dreams about the pain I was in. Like full on technicolor dreams about going to the doctor getting an x-ray only to discover a broken hip, or a broken back, or that I was in the middle of a heart attack and the nightmare that followed. I had been resting it and babying it and lathering up in the muscle spasm creams and sprays just to be able to walk across a room. Jokes on me it was January before I could see anyone anyway. Well played nurse … well played.

The Urgent care discovered that I had a UTI and also took an x-ray that upon review revealed that I also had what appeared to be a LARGE Kidney Stone. They sent me to a Urologist. The first thing he did was take a urine sample then send me for a CT where I had to lie on my back perfectly still for like 10 minutes. When I went to get up I almost passed out the tech did too. She said I got super pale and made me immediately sit back down. I was glad it was angry so that they could really see it in all it’s pissed off glory. Then…. I went back to work.

Two days later he called, during my staff meeting, to say I had a 7mm kidney stone at the base of my kidney. It seemed logged in there and then he said the thing that scared me more than anything else … I don’t know that this is going to solve your back problem, but it needs to be dealt with. I almost burst into tears but regrouped and said ok so now what. He was going to schedule my surgery to have Non-Invasive Extracorporeal Shock Wave Lithotripsy (ESWL) cause he didn’t believe I’d be able to pass it. That long ass word is basically the use of sound waves to crush the kidney stone into smaller pieces so that they can more easily pass through the bladder.

The immediate unknown hit me hard and frankly scared the shit out of me. However, it got scheduled and I prepared myself for my first ever surgery just after my 44^th birthday (that’s right it would be on Feb 1^st … so we are now 4 months into this process). Sure, I had had my wisdom teeth removed and done a colonoscopy before but nothing like this. It was going to be an outpatient surgery at the hospital with IVs, a medical bracelet with my name on it, and wires and stuff and I was to be put to sleep for it. I had a male work friend who was trying to walk me through all of it cause apparently, he does this like every 3-6 months. I told him I hope that will not be me.  The day of the surgery came the first thing they did was a scan of my kidneys and lower abdomen I guess to make sure nothing had moved. Then I told my father goodby and  was taken to the back, and they did a pregnancy test, which was Negative of course. Then … I waited and watched some TV, that is to say I flipped the channels. I made the mistake of leaving my phone at home (one more thing to deal with I told myself) I missed it so during that hour and a half or so.

                                                      

Next thing I know we are waiting on the anesthesiologist who eventually showed up and spent about 10 minutes telling me how small my mouth/throat was and that he couldn’t believe I don’t have Sleep Apnea and suggested I see a doctor about it. I was like um… ok can we focus on the task at hand please. Next thing I know they wheel me down the hall, I transition from the bed to this table thing, I shift into position….  and then…. I woke up in recovery. Like I have zero recollection of anything in between. Which I guess is a good thing. I woke up in the middle of my colonoscopy and I threw up on my dentist during my wisdom teeth removal.

My small throat was killing me …. The nurse lady kept asking if I needed or wanted ice chips and I thought are you crazy my throat doesn’t work. I could barely swallow. I asked if it worked, she said sure honey it did. I didn’t believe her. I just wanted to go home. I stayed there a little while longer while the nurses talked about Rihanna and if she had ever performed at the Super Bowl before. One of the nurses was sure she had and the others were like nah she hadn’t. Then they talked about last years Super Bowl halftime show naming all the hip hop stars, and they couldn’t remember Mary J or Eminem. They kept saying you know it had Snoop and Dr. Dre and those other people and when I yelled out Mary J they were shocked I was even sitting there. Ice lady came over to see if I was ok but one of the other nurses said she’s right Mary J was there and proceeded to round out the guest list. Then the nurse that was sure Rihanna had went to the all mighty google to confirm she was right only to lean she was thinking of the Grammys and played Disturbia at near high volume for much longer than I feel she should have.

That was my cue to leave. No offense to Rihanna but yeah it was time. I got dressed and was wheeled out of the hospital to my dad’s car. He stopped to pick up medicine at Wallgreens (that was not mine – he’d have to go back later for that) and we finally made it home. Mom had asked earlier in the week what I might want to eat and I requested plain white rice with a little butter. I promptly thew that up and went to bed. I slept for the next 9 hours. Got up, ate some saltines and took the only pain pill I’ve taken so far and then went back to bed where I slept in 2 hour intervals that night. The next day was more of the same. I’d wake up be groggy as hell, sit there for 15-20 minutes and pass out for about 2 hours and start the cycle again. I guess around 6:30 that night I finally got up and ate something real and stayed up the rest of the night in hopes of a better night’s sleep that night. I was proud to report that my back pain was nearly nonexistent unless I had a full bladder then it was more of the same. However, I was considering it a win.  In all of this I only missed 2 days of work. The day for the surgery and the day after. I’m not sure if I’m proud of that or not to be honest. I have spent the last few days trying to pass these things so I can move on with my life to hopefully never do this again.

Rest…. I suck at rest. When I’m resting I’m thinking about all the thousands of things I should be doing while resting which means 1. I’m not enjoying the rest … 2. I’m not really resting at all and 3. I’m also not accomplishing the thousands of things I'm thinking about which amps me up even more. Even on typical weekends I know there are things I should be doing but I don’t do them and instead watch mind numbing TV or play games or scroll on my phone kicking myself for not doing all the things instead of “wasting time” when “wasting time” is what my body is telling my brain I need to be doing but then my brain isn’t letting me enjoy it. Golden was quite proud I took 2 days for my surgery she wanted me to take more but I think also understood my need to make sure things at work were handled. I did at least work from home (more cause I had to than by my choice) so it wasn’t quite as grueling but still. That being said on Monday I’m going to sell back 40 hours of Vacation to my work. I’m not going to use it and I might as well get paid for it instead of losing it. So what I am saying is I’m still learning what “rest” is and how to use it.

Music/Convert Tickets…. Buy the freaking concert tickets or don’t. Just stop with the bitching. Is it stupid expensive to go to a “concert” yes …. Are these acts jumping through more hoops than ever to make shows even happen, also yes. It’s not ticketmaster, it’s not scalpers, it’s the fact that when they put an insane price on a pair of tickets (and we aren’t even talking a decent pair of seats at this point) people are still buying them. Taylor Swift fans weren’t bitching about the price they were bitching that they sold out before they could get in to buy them at that stupid price. Beyonce fans were the same way, bitching about the price as well as how quickly they sell out. Get the tickets or don’t. Honestly I don’t care but be pissed off about the right thing. Complain to the right people. The idea that Congress is going to possibly take this up is just blowing my mind. Congress hasn’t and can’t solve a damn thing but yeah let’s focus on this. Let a Beyonce tour not sell a ticket, let an Ed Sherran sell out half a stadium, let Taylor not fill the seats and see if those prices don’t come down but that’s not going to happen. There is always going to be someone perfectly happy to pay the insane price for your seat. When I saw Ed a few years ago in TN I admit I overpaid for my seats. When I got there, I was damn proud to have done so. Am I lining back up to see him on his new tour, frankly no. It’s a stadium tour, outside, in the south, during the summer. So many things to factor in…the weather, the heat, the uncomfortableness of the day. I love the new album and I still love the man but I’ve seen him do his thing in really great seats and now I’ll just watch youtube clips. Let someone else have my seat. However, if I did decide to jump back in the ring I’d pay the extra money for the decent seats. You will too. Sop acting all high and mighty as you pull the credit card out of your wallet. 

Now if we are talking about Bryan White just take the wallet do what you need to do and return it afterwards cause I'd pay anything the man asks me to pay and I'd even buy the boy a burger for his troubles. Have I told you guys how much I love that man ?! If not I should do that. 

                                                 

 

Lent is coming ……. Which means giving things up …….. which for me typically means social media and soda. Last year I did caffeine in general which also took out tea and with my recent Kidney stone issues I think I’m going to do that again. However Lent 2023 starts Feb. 22^nd and ends April 8^th. My nephew is getting married the first week of March so I’m not planning to give up social media but I also don’t plan to be on it as much either. I frankly look forward to this “break” and Lent is a good excuse for it. However in the lead up to and the aftermath of the wedding I want to see the messages, the pictures that are shared the fun surrounding it all and to do that I need to be on all the social sites. Maybe I’ll find something else to give up along with Caffeine but that’s another post.

                                   

Well there you have it …. random conversations from me about very random things I needed to get out of my head. Hope you enjoyed that. There were several other things I'm dying to talk about but those will come in another post.  

Marcy (@beaslma)

Random Thoughts by Marcy

I’ve been wanting to make a post for a while now but every time I think about one I have about 12 things bouncing around in my head that I feel deserves my voice …. And it all ends up being a jumbled mess in my head. In those cases, I have done a “random thoughts post” so I’ve decided it’s time to bring out the Random Thoughts posts if for on other reason so I can generate some content on this blog. 

Mental Health

I’m not going to lie …. I’ve been better. I’ve fallen into a pretty bad rut lately where I get up, work 8-10 hours, sometimes skipping lunch and then have supper, and sit in my chair watching TV praying for a time when I can go to bed then when I get in bed I lay there watching crap on youtube or some other digital platform until about 1 before finally giving up and falling asleep only to get up the next day and do it all over again. Saturday tends to be my only day where I can sleep in and sadly that’s 10am cause by then I’m usually wide awake. I have a tendency to stay in my bed long after I woke up cause I know the second I hit the floor I’m going to be going until I can get back into that bed. I wish I could walk into a room without hearing “I need you to…” or “oh good I have a job for you ….” I know they need me and I appreciate that but it sometimes becomes too much and I just want to be left alone for 3 seconds. That’s usually when I go to bed early or take a “bath.” I spent some of last weekend cleaning up my space just cause I needed to do that. For as little time I spend in there it is amazing how quickly it can become awfully messy with “stuff” everywhere. Mostly clothes. I’m real bad about washing clothes then not putting them away. Taking back control of my “space” helped me very much, tho it also made me see what else needed to be done. That is the problem with cleaning ………. It always makes you see how much more needs your attention that you don’t have the energy to give it.

Halloween

How come when I’m available to watch all the Halloween movies and fun all that’s on is Back to the Future … or anything from the Chucky series (which I just can’t get into), The Mummy, the Nightmare Before Christmas fine films mind you but not the Halloween goodness I want to fill my eye holes with during Halloween fun time. Where the hell is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Halloween 2? Little Shop of Horrors ? Why does it seem all the good stuff is on when I’m not available to watch it? Friday I did turn on the Friday the 13^th marathon as my work background noise … one of the joys of working from home. I just feel like I’m missing so much of it all and that makes a sad Marcy.  

Justin Willman

Speaking of Halloween did you hear that Justin William is doing virtual magic shows based on his Magic for Humans Netflix show. He’s doing two special shows on the 30^th and 31^st. The entire show is a Live Interactive hour of mind-blowing (spooky) magic and surprises via Zoom. I mean everything else on the planet is done by Zoom why not this. Ticket’s are $25 per household and you can sign up at  https://www.justinwillman.com/virtual

I’ve already gotten my ticket for the 30th Halloween Eve! Better hurry they are going fast!

Politics/Election

Just one time …one time before I die I want to vote for someone cause I truly believe they have the answers that will make this Country great …. Not again … but to the potential that the super power that used to be the United States could really live up to. It’s been a long time since we were that. I’m honestly surprised that the other countries still let us play with them at the big summits. This dates back several presidents ago ……. Not just the most recent train wreck. The truth is I really wanted him to do well. I wanted him to dig his head out of his own ass and his advisors to do the same and really get to work for this Country. It could have been a good thing it could have kept alive the idea that anyone could be president that anyone could rise to that level, but now that seems to be a dead dream. Don’t get me wrong this is not a Democratic love post cause at the moment I’m just as sick of them as I am “him.”

What really kills me tho …. Is that no one has figured out how to work with his crazy ass. Even his own people don't know how to get him to do anything or talk to him in a way that would make a sane person you know listen. It’s not a United as a Country thing anymore it’s an us vs them thing and that’s just sad. It’s been that way before “him” but it seems like it’s now so more than ever. I am so tired of the back and forth bullshit and nothing getting settled or accomplished and the people who put them in those positions are the ones that suffer for it. My biggest fear is that he will win ….. that there’s too many like me who feel that this is all just a giant waste of time but my bigger fear is that he won’t leave and then there’s that fight. What really scares me is I’m not even sure the Democrats are confident in their choice. This is the first election in my lifetime that I have seriously considered not voting at all. What’s the point?! No matter what I vote the outcome in my state will be the same …. Therefore all these people telling me I have a voice couldn’t be more wrong, and that’s the saddest thing ever.

COVID-19

I have personally known a good dozen people that tested positive for the Virus, one of which died. Yes he had underlying medical conditions but at the end of the day those were aggravated by Covid and the end result is the same. He’s gone. His wife is now living without him and struggling to pay bills, his daughter accepted the flag for his service to our country and he’s gone. I had given serious thought to not voting at all … cause well as started above …. What’s the point anyway. Turns out all I needed was a push. I got that push after “he” got out of the hospital, after getting the best medical care in the world, and told said world that this Virus was no big deal. I’m currently working from home because my coworkers have decided that it’s no big deal and now the LEADER of the FREE WORLD has validated that belief. This is not a joke. This is something that we should have had under control by now. That other Countries figured out long before it got here and instead of watching what they were doing and paying attention we decided to go our own way and here we are. Still in the throws of it with numbers not declining and not even evening out but still rising. That’s messed up. The idea that Biden would have had all the answers is of course insane but it can’t be worse can it? I mean honestly how far as we going to let this fucking go before we say enough is enough? Meanwhile this Covid shit still doesn’t get under control. That is not a world I want to live in at all.

So those are my random thoughts ……… they are not endorsed by Golden (@theonlygolden) they are my thoughts and my thoughts alone.

Thanks for reading,

Marcy

@beaslma

SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK – Miscellaneous Thoughts

First Off .... HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY! I hope your green kept you pinch free today and if not...well punch that asshat in the face and tell him you were mistaken you didn't think he had on green either. 

So, I have to admit something to you dear readers, this Social Media break has been hard but not for the reason you might think. See, last year I stepped away from Social Media cause I really really needed to then when I got back I made a point of using it to be more social and not just sharing, liking, or RT things and this year I find I really miss the people that I have connected with over the past year in my daily interactions.  Not necessarily the medium used, but the people. It’s been very odd, I have e-mailed a few of the people that I don’t get to see in my every day world and I missed that immediate connection that Social Media gives you. I also decided at the last minute to also give up Soda for Lent and let me tell you I miss that syrup filled goodness in my belly. My energy level is for crap, I have a constant headache and I just feel overall icky. They said most of that would go away after the first few weeks but so far that hasn’t happened for me ye. April Fool’s Day can’t get here fast enough. Ha!

That being said Lent has been filled with a ton of activities and thoughts that I’d like to share here …. So well enjoy, or go get a samache and come back later, the choice is yours.

Someone check on Golden… please

I asked in my initial Lent Post that someone take care of Golden while I was gone and I need to know who dropped the ball … was it you …. Or the guy next to you at the coffee shop reading over your shoulder ….. no it was you….. it could have been that guy, either way one of you needs to apologize. Not only did Golden get the sickest I think she has been in years, NO ONE TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS SICK!? I finally reached out to her via text only to find out she was sick, come’on guys that’s not checking up on Golden at all. I need you guys to focus for the next week or so until I can get back online. My bestie has pneumonia and bronchitis and has very low oxygen, upon checking on her this week she’s also bruised a few ribs from the violent coughing. She is indeed a medical marvel and I pray no one ever has to put up the amount of crap she has to put up with on a daily basis. She’s my hero cause no matter how much live beats her down she gets back up, looks life in the eye and says “Is that all you have … please let’s do this!”

She’s the strongest person I know and I’m blessed to have her in my life. Feel better my amazing friend. HUGS

Funerals

A lady at our church recently passed away from a fight with cancer. This was a true case of the treatment was harder on the patient that the disease. They never found the right combination that would fight her disease without also destroying her. She was the first woman at our new church to welcome our family to the “fold” for lack of a better word. She was really great about being supportive and welcoming without being too overwhelming with it. She was really supportive of me when I taught Bible School last year and was kind of freaking out about it and she told me that I could do it and kept checking in on me. It was really sweet. She was quite lovely. I miss her more than I thought that I would. I’m not a funeral person, I don’t really care for them cause they seem like a celebration that is either insanely sad or that is filled with people trying to pretend that this person was perfect when they had their flaws. It’s almost like when a singer dies and for like 4 days on social media people are talking about what an influence said person was on their life or their Itunes bump is huge. It just seems like that would have been more beneficial when that person was still here to see the influence they have had on their industry. Tell those artists today how you feel about them so that I don’t’ know it will mean something. After the fact it just seems …. Like a waste cause the one who really needed to see it isn’t there to do so. I tell you this cause when I heard Miss. Yvonne passed away there was no hesitation on if I was going to the funeral or not. I not only felt I needed to be there but wanted to be there to celebrate her life.

There was more people at the Church than I have ever seen, standing room only which was really nice to see for such a wonderful lady. She was the woman who taught Sunday School for 37 years, helped with Bible School for just that long, and was always there for every function, it seems weird to think that she just won’t be anymore. It was the first funeral that I have ever attended at that church and to say I was kind of surprised by the service is an understatement. It was nice it was pleasant it just didn’t seem as personal as I thought it could be for someone who was such a part of that building. However during the service a semi-sick-funny thing happened to me. While the preacher was reading the obituary, in full, he got to the part where they list all the people that had gone before her and for a brief moment I had this vision of her walking through a gate seeing all of them standing there waiting on her and her saying,  “well why are we just standing around there’s so much to do and see … let’s go!” As this thought passed through my head I started to giggle. It was one of those giggles that once you start it’s really hard to stop. My mom nudged me and my dad looked over, others also turned and I just put my head down and pretended I was overcome with tears. It was exactly what I hoped happened for Miss Yvonne when she got to Heaven cause there’s no doubt in my mind that’s where she is now. She’s in a much better place than we are surrounded by loved ones and enjoying every second of the afterlife her Christian doctrine had told her she’d have. I’ve never thought of a “preceded in death by” list as a guest list to a party like that. I kind of like that thought tho. I think Miss Yvonne would have loved that idea tho and had she been there would have come up to me at the luncheon and said, “honey you laugh if you need to laugh, cry if you need to cry, God knows what’s in your heart and it’s all ok!” I’m gonna miss you Miss Yvonne …. RIP we’ll take care of Mr. Jim.

Work/SMPS 

I know this is a running theme on this blog but work had just been insane. Like crazy insane, like I tried to quit 4 times last week and my boss laughed at me and told me he didn’t have time for that right now and to get back to it. It’s ok I wasn’t really serious but I have thought several times if they fired me for whatever reason I’d not be too broken up about it. I’d have no idea what to do next but I’m young, smart, and untethered, I’d figure it out. Truth is and don’t tell them please I’d be devastated and heartbroken. That’s just our little secret. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a long tunnel and the light is very feint but I can see it starting to emerge from the blackness. The problem is that I know there’s another tunnel behind it and another one after that. On the plus side at the end of the week my boss walked in with a folder that said “confidential” and had my name on it. He handed it to me and said, “It’s long over due really.” They gave me a bonus. It was a nice pick me up at the end of a long few weeks that reminds me why I stay where I’m at and why I do what I do. The guys at the top, really appreciate the effort I put into my job. That’s why. When I need a reminder of that please dear reader send me to this blog post.

I am also working towards my own professional certification/registration through the Society for Marketing Professional Services (SMPS) of which I am a member. SMPS is a community of marketing and business development professionals working to secure profitable business relationships for their A/E/C companies. SMPS offers members professional development, leadership opportunities, and marketing resources to advance their careers. My boss is also a member. Last year he obtained his Certified Professional Services Marketer (CPSM) designation and this year has challenged me to do the same. My test is in June which sounded really really far away but now feels really really close. He just got back from the annual SMPS conference in Atlanta and has stated he'd like for me to go next year. He would like ach of us (our team) to attend it at least once for the comradery of it. I'm excited but it will likely end up where I'm one of those in the various panels working on a proposal with both eyes while one ear is listening to the speaker. Something my boss joked about. I told him they should have had a Marcy back home, he said not everyone gets a Marcy. I told him I'm glad to see he realizes that. ha! 

Fun stuff

It hasn’t been all work and no play for Marcy however, tho I admit I have felt like it was.

A few weeks ago the head of our division bought tickets to a local Jags baseball game (University of South Alabama) in which they were playing my beloved Auburn Tigers. As an Auburn fan I got a few of the tickets. My father and I joined the group of office peeps for a night of fun watching some really great baseball. Team building they called it, I enjoyed it and hope we do that more often. It didn’t hurt that Auburn won. WAR EAGLE ! Speaking of WAR EAGLE how about them Tigers at the dance?! I won’t pretend to be a huge basketball fan but it has been kind of AUsome watching this team rise to the occasion. 

I've bought a few movies I wanted to see in the theater and didn't, but haven't watched them yet. I plan to, it's going to happen I'm just not entirely sure when. 

I've had a few meetings at church to talk about the upcoming Easter Egg hunt, Vacation Bible School and other activities. I've also got a few concerts with friends coming up. I hope to have some travel for this summer lined up soon cause I need something to look forward to, like for real.  

So that’s what I’ve been up to during Lent, how about you guys!?

Marcy

Random Thoughts

So it’s been a while since I posted and it’s not that I haven’t been thinking of you guys or wanting to post but it’s just …. I have so many things I want to write about that all of it ends up a jumbled mess in my head … this happens on occasion and I have decided it’s time for another random thought’s post so that I can think like a normal human being again.

Adulting

I’ve talked a few times on this blog about being an adult and how I try so very hard to not be an adult however I am one. I went on vacation last week to the beach. On my way home from the office on my last day of work before my trip I stopped at the local liquor store to buy supplies. Upon getting home some 4 days later I was unpacking to realize I NEVER OPENED MY SUPPLIES. However that didn’t bother me as much as it hit me that I didn’t even think about opening my supplies. Like really? That bottle is still in the brown paper sack I took it home from the store in. That’s messed up on so many levels. If that weren’t enough, tomorrow we get a new employee and my boss will be at another office so I get the job of showing her around the office, getting her hooked up with HR, telling her what we do, and showing her where she can find things. Like I’m the 2^nd in command. Which I guess I was aware of but now it seems more official. That sounds like a job for a grown up …. Am I that person?! When did that happen? That sounds so …. Responsible.

DragonCon/Cosplay

So it is July …. You know what that means … it’s time for that all important decision …. To Cosplay or not Cosplay and why is that so hard for me? I always think of these ideas and then decide they are dumb or no one would get them or I’d never be able to do them justice so I decide not to do them. Then I get to DragonCon and boom there’s the costumes that I thought about or I’m reminded that everything is fair game at DragonCon. It is not uncommon to see amazing cosplay, as well as mediocre cosplay and blow your mind cosplay and it’s all ok. Last year I saw several Quail Man costumes, something I thought about then decided no one would remember or get it. This year I’m thinking about Daria from MTV days when you know MTV showed music and only a few other programs. I also thought about something that will allow me to use my new awesome chair Golden got me for my birthday/Christmas. I also thought about Jeanette Miller from the Chipmunks. I can totally pull that off nerdy girl who loves books.  However I know me, I’ll make all these plans, get up there and chicken out. I like to blend into the wall and in costume that’s not really what it’s about. Golden’s better at this Cosplay thing than I am. She’s better at a lot of things than I am but I don’t want to give her a big head. Maybe as DragonCon nears I can get Golden back on this blog … what do you say @theonlygolden ?

Travel and fun with Friends

As part of my New Year’s Resolutions at the end of 2016 I wanted to travel more, and spend more time with friends. So far I’m making good on that promise. Earlier this year with my friend Christina and I made the trip to Auburn for the weekend and traveling with her is always an adventure and fun. Of course I went to Birmingham in May for Golden’s birthday and got to hang with her and Marible. I just returned from a trip to nearby Orange Beach to see Journey with my friend Katie, at the end of Aug/Sep we will be going to DragonCon with Golden, in November I’m also going to Disney with Golden, and today I added to my itinerary with a tip to Nashville in October with my friend Christina to see Ed Sheeran for whom I've gone straight stupid for. I’m super excited about this trip. It’s been a while since I went to a full on concert in an arena and we have awesome seats. I am fighting my fear of the world by going out and about and putting myself into situations that normally make me nervous and scared. I have decided we are all going to die someday, I might as well be happy while I’m here and not have regrets, well not have a lot of regrets anyway. Besides fear of the unknown is no fun ... right. Now I just need to work on the writing thing.

Prayers for this nation and yes even this President

I’ve thought on several occasions about writing an open letter to our current sitting President but know he’d never see it, even if someone could read it to him, so I think it’s a giant waste of my time. However, every time his orange ass is on my TV or in an article I’m reading I am once again reminded of the point of letter. For full disclosure, I didn’t vote for him, I don’t care for him, but he’s what I have ended up with. That being said I need him to succeed and before you all grab the pitch forks and for a riot let me explain. If he can pull this off then the idea that anyone can be president lives on. Granted that person has to have money and there are limitations on who can and can’t be president but if he tanks it, and it looks like he’s going too, then for the rest of our lives anytime someone “outside of the box” runs for office they will point to his big orange ass to explain why that’s a bad idea. It’s not a Republican VS Democrat thing it’s a human vs human thing. Let me also add that I trust Trump far more than Pence and if the powers that be that are trying to impeach Trump win then we end up with Pence and I’m not sure that’s a world I want to live in. So I need everyone to relax and let’s see what this dumbass can accomplish before you know he nukes us all into non-existence.

Social Media/Elevation of the current rhetoric  
As some of you may or may not know during Lent this past year I gave up social media in general. No twitter, no facebook, no Instagram, no notifications, all I kept going was e-mail. It was everything I dreamed that it could be. It’s been about 4 months and part of me wants to go back. I purged a lot of my “follow” list when I got back on all my social media platforms and I definitely don’t use it like I did before the “break” but there are days where it’s still too much bullshitting and this person bitching about this and that person bitching about that and these guys over here wanting to bitch about something else and the others complaining that no one gives a shit about what they want to bitch about. Here’s the thing… it’s a giant world out there and we are all allowed to have different opinions the issue is when we completely dismiss the difference of opinion simply because it’s not mine. That being said the way we dismiss one another also upsets me. While in college I took a Rhetoric class and I remember telling the teacher that I thought people were being too sensitive about it, sometimes a writer talking about a dog is just that a dog. I want to go an apologize to that teacher now. I’m witnessing it first hand on a daily basis. it’s not that we have intelligent arguments that could sway the person being talked to, no that might make too much sense. Instead we use juvenile name calling and hastags to belittle and attack one another and then those same people bitch because our President is doing the same thing on a daily basis. Our children are watching people, well not my children cause I don’t have any but my nephews for sure. They see us acting like childish bullies on the internet and then we wonder why they are doing the same. Let’s elevate the conversation or not have it at all. It starts with us and Social Media is key to this change.  

I’m sure there are more but for now this is enough …. Thank you for letting me have my brain back.

Marcy

@beaslma