Random Thoughts

Over the years I’ve had thoughts for various blogs but nothing worthy of a “full blog” in my opinion so I held them back until they pilled up into a ball of randomness that would equal what I call a “full blog” posting. I’ve called these posts a variety of things …. “Time for a catch up” ...  “Jumping onto my soap box”  …  “venting” … “Random Thoughts”  …   “What Grinds my Gears”  but most have their own problems. They all basically allow me to talk about randomness that really doesn’t connect together and get them out of my head. Time for a catch up implies that you know the background of what I’m talking about, sometimes you will sometimes you won’t if you’v been paying attention. Jumping on my soap box, venting and what grinds my gears implies that what I’m talking about has passion about a particular subject usually things that annoy me or frankly piss me off. However in this particular instance that is not the case. I have decided however to go with “Random Thoughts” from here on out… so here we go.

Birthday … A week ago dear readers I turned well …. Yeah I’m gonna say it …. 44  and let me tell you lately I’ve been feeling all of those years. More on that in a moment. It was a good birthday. Pretty low key, which is how I like em. The day before my work peeps took me to lunch. On my actual birthday the boss and my department took me to lunch (It was a Friday and many of my work peeps are doing the 10 hour days so they can have Friday’s off thing to save “gas”) So I was treated to lunch on two days and it was very nice. I didn’t necessarily have “time” for it but it was nice to get out of the office and enjoy some fellowship, comradery, and good food and a break from the insanity that was a Friday at work. That night my parents and brother and Sister in Law took me to dinner. All I really wanted for my birthday was a nice Steak. I got it and enjoyed the haties out of it.  Don’t get me wrong I enjoy celebrating my birthday I just as I’m getting older don’t want the attention. Not because of the number but because … well…. I don’t give the same energy back to my friends on theirs and that makes me feel really shitty. I want to give that energy but I’m just exhausted from giving my energy to so many things. Yes I am well aware of how lame that sounds …. Just give it to me ok.  

Doctors/Kidney Stone … Around Thanksgiving my back started bothering me really bad. During “Covid” my General Practice doctor left his practice and started a practice for 65 and older crowd focused on I guess Medicare/Medicaid ? AKA I was out cause as I stated previously, I am well under that number. I wasn’t “needing” a doctor and didn’t want to venture into the places where the sick people might be mingling so I didn’t do anything about it. A few times I masked up and went to an urgent care for a steroid shot or an antibiotic and went on with my life. So when I called the old place that I used to go to with my old GP and was like “I have done something to my back” the nice lady on the phone basically said go fuck yourself. With people out with the Flu and vacations being scheduled for holidays the earliest I could get in would be January. I was like are you kidding me right now? She said no. I said bye. I suffered through it taking an anti-inflammatory pills that I had from when I had hurt my knee and some “over the counter” pain relievers to help me sleep but every morning it was like I’d get out of bed and someone would shank me in the lower part of my back in the exact same place every single day. At one point I even thought I had Sciatica and would try to do the “exercises” I found online for it. FIRST OFF WHY DOES EVERY BACK REMEDY START WITH GET YOUR ARSE ON THE FLOOR. If I could get off said floor that would be different but cheese and rice man I can’t do that. I’d try and I’d fail every time. There were a few times that I almost threw up from the pain and several other times that I let the pain get the best of me and had to clean up the results of that. I’ll spare you those details.

                                               

Needless to say I finally had enough and right around Christmas/New Years drug myself to the Urgent Care cause there was no way this was “just a strained back” anymore. I started having dreams about the pain I was in. Like full on technicolor dreams about going to the doctor getting an x-ray only to discover a broken hip, or a broken back, or that I was in the middle of a heart attack and the nightmare that followed. I had been resting it and babying it and lathering up in the muscle spasm creams and sprays just to be able to walk across a room. Jokes on me it was January before I could see anyone anyway. Well played nurse … well played.

The Urgent care discovered that I had a UTI and also took an x-ray that upon review revealed that I also had what appeared to be a LARGE Kidney Stone. They sent me to a Urologist. The first thing he did was take a urine sample then send me for a CT where I had to lie on my back perfectly still for like 10 minutes. When I went to get up I almost passed out the tech did too. She said I got super pale and made me immediately sit back down. I was glad it was angry so that they could really see it in all it’s pissed off glory. Then…. I went back to work.

Two days later he called, during my staff meeting, to say I had a 7mm kidney stone at the base of my kidney. It seemed logged in there and then he said the thing that scared me more than anything else … I don’t know that this is going to solve your back problem, but it needs to be dealt with. I almost burst into tears but regrouped and said ok so now what. He was going to schedule my surgery to have Non-Invasive Extracorporeal Shock Wave Lithotripsy (ESWL) cause he didn’t believe I’d be able to pass it. That long ass word is basically the use of sound waves to crush the kidney stone into smaller pieces so that they can more easily pass through the bladder.

The immediate unknown hit me hard and frankly scared the shit out of me. However, it got scheduled and I prepared myself for my first ever surgery just after my 44^th birthday (that’s right it would be on Feb 1^st … so we are now 4 months into this process). Sure, I had had my wisdom teeth removed and done a colonoscopy before but nothing like this. It was going to be an outpatient surgery at the hospital with IVs, a medical bracelet with my name on it, and wires and stuff and I was to be put to sleep for it. I had a male work friend who was trying to walk me through all of it cause apparently, he does this like every 3-6 months. I told him I hope that will not be me.  The day of the surgery came the first thing they did was a scan of my kidneys and lower abdomen I guess to make sure nothing had moved. Then I told my father goodby and  was taken to the back, and they did a pregnancy test, which was Negative of course. Then … I waited and watched some TV, that is to say I flipped the channels. I made the mistake of leaving my phone at home (one more thing to deal with I told myself) I missed it so during that hour and a half or so.

                                                      

Next thing I know we are waiting on the anesthesiologist who eventually showed up and spent about 10 minutes telling me how small my mouth/throat was and that he couldn’t believe I don’t have Sleep Apnea and suggested I see a doctor about it. I was like um… ok can we focus on the task at hand please. Next thing I know they wheel me down the hall, I transition from the bed to this table thing, I shift into position….  and then…. I woke up in recovery. Like I have zero recollection of anything in between. Which I guess is a good thing. I woke up in the middle of my colonoscopy and I threw up on my dentist during my wisdom teeth removal.

My small throat was killing me …. The nurse lady kept asking if I needed or wanted ice chips and I thought are you crazy my throat doesn’t work. I could barely swallow. I asked if it worked, she said sure honey it did. I didn’t believe her. I just wanted to go home. I stayed there a little while longer while the nurses talked about Rihanna and if she had ever performed at the Super Bowl before. One of the nurses was sure she had and the others were like nah she hadn’t. Then they talked about last years Super Bowl halftime show naming all the hip hop stars, and they couldn’t remember Mary J or Eminem. They kept saying you know it had Snoop and Dr. Dre and those other people and when I yelled out Mary J they were shocked I was even sitting there. Ice lady came over to see if I was ok but one of the other nurses said she’s right Mary J was there and proceeded to round out the guest list. Then the nurse that was sure Rihanna had went to the all mighty google to confirm she was right only to lean she was thinking of the Grammys and played Disturbia at near high volume for much longer than I feel she should have.

That was my cue to leave. No offense to Rihanna but yeah it was time. I got dressed and was wheeled out of the hospital to my dad’s car. He stopped to pick up medicine at Wallgreens (that was not mine – he’d have to go back later for that) and we finally made it home. Mom had asked earlier in the week what I might want to eat and I requested plain white rice with a little butter. I promptly thew that up and went to bed. I slept for the next 9 hours. Got up, ate some saltines and took the only pain pill I’ve taken so far and then went back to bed where I slept in 2 hour intervals that night. The next day was more of the same. I’d wake up be groggy as hell, sit there for 15-20 minutes and pass out for about 2 hours and start the cycle again. I guess around 6:30 that night I finally got up and ate something real and stayed up the rest of the night in hopes of a better night’s sleep that night. I was proud to report that my back pain was nearly nonexistent unless I had a full bladder then it was more of the same. However, I was considering it a win.  In all of this I only missed 2 days of work. The day for the surgery and the day after. I’m not sure if I’m proud of that or not to be honest. I have spent the last few days trying to pass these things so I can move on with my life to hopefully never do this again.

Rest…. I suck at rest. When I’m resting I’m thinking about all the thousands of things I should be doing while resting which means 1. I’m not enjoying the rest … 2. I’m not really resting at all and 3. I’m also not accomplishing the thousands of things I'm thinking about which amps me up even more. Even on typical weekends I know there are things I should be doing but I don’t do them and instead watch mind numbing TV or play games or scroll on my phone kicking myself for not doing all the things instead of “wasting time” when “wasting time” is what my body is telling my brain I need to be doing but then my brain isn’t letting me enjoy it. Golden was quite proud I took 2 days for my surgery she wanted me to take more but I think also understood my need to make sure things at work were handled. I did at least work from home (more cause I had to than by my choice) so it wasn’t quite as grueling but still. That being said on Monday I’m going to sell back 40 hours of Vacation to my work. I’m not going to use it and I might as well get paid for it instead of losing it. So what I am saying is I’m still learning what “rest” is and how to use it.

Music/Convert Tickets…. Buy the freaking concert tickets or don’t. Just stop with the bitching. Is it stupid expensive to go to a “concert” yes …. Are these acts jumping through more hoops than ever to make shows even happen, also yes. It’s not ticketmaster, it’s not scalpers, it’s the fact that when they put an insane price on a pair of tickets (and we aren’t even talking a decent pair of seats at this point) people are still buying them. Taylor Swift fans weren’t bitching about the price they were bitching that they sold out before they could get in to buy them at that stupid price. Beyonce fans were the same way, bitching about the price as well as how quickly they sell out. Get the tickets or don’t. Honestly I don’t care but be pissed off about the right thing. Complain to the right people. The idea that Congress is going to possibly take this up is just blowing my mind. Congress hasn’t and can’t solve a damn thing but yeah let’s focus on this. Let a Beyonce tour not sell a ticket, let an Ed Sherran sell out half a stadium, let Taylor not fill the seats and see if those prices don’t come down but that’s not going to happen. There is always going to be someone perfectly happy to pay the insane price for your seat. When I saw Ed a few years ago in TN I admit I overpaid for my seats. When I got there, I was damn proud to have done so. Am I lining back up to see him on his new tour, frankly no. It’s a stadium tour, outside, in the south, during the summer. So many things to factor in…the weather, the heat, the uncomfortableness of the day. I love the new album and I still love the man but I’ve seen him do his thing in really great seats and now I’ll just watch youtube clips. Let someone else have my seat. However, if I did decide to jump back in the ring I’d pay the extra money for the decent seats. You will too. Sop acting all high and mighty as you pull the credit card out of your wallet. 

Now if we are talking about Bryan White just take the wallet do what you need to do and return it afterwards cause I'd pay anything the man asks me to pay and I'd even buy the boy a burger for his troubles. Have I told you guys how much I love that man ?! If not I should do that. 

                                                 

 

Lent is coming ……. Which means giving things up …….. which for me typically means social media and soda. Last year I did caffeine in general which also took out tea and with my recent Kidney stone issues I think I’m going to do that again. However Lent 2023 starts Feb. 22^nd and ends April 8^th. My nephew is getting married the first week of March so I’m not planning to give up social media but I also don’t plan to be on it as much either. I frankly look forward to this “break” and Lent is a good excuse for it. However in the lead up to and the aftermath of the wedding I want to see the messages, the pictures that are shared the fun surrounding it all and to do that I need to be on all the social sites. Maybe I’ll find something else to give up along with Caffeine but that’s another post.

                                   

Well there you have it …. random conversations from me about very random things I needed to get out of my head. Hope you enjoyed that. There were several other things I'm dying to talk about but those will come in another post.  

Marcy (@beaslma)

Happy Palm Sunday in Quarantine

 

At least according to my preacher today is Palm Sunday. I’m still trying to get used to the fact that April is finally here. March can suck it. That was just the worst I mean the worst. Tho I’m side eyeing April real hard cause it isn’t looking any better.

I haven’t left my house since March 15^th when we got home from Church. Our boss made the call that afternoon that our department was to work from home that week. See he didn’t want to risk his family by coming into a busy office building holding some 500 people and if he didn’t want to do it he wasn’t going to ask us to do it. BOSS OF THE YEAR! We had done it before when our building had a plumbing issue and half our floor flooded out. We could do it again. The following week he decided it was working and we would continue as long as it was working. If we needed to run in for something do it. If we wanted to go into the office and work we could do that too. He was leaving that week up to us but he strongly advised we stay the course. On March 27^th the firm CEO decided that all office employees that could work remotely should be working remotely, until further notice. So now all our coworkers are doing the same.

My firm should be really upset by how much I have enjoyed my working from home during this pandemic. I have found it surprisingly easy and I’m getting a lot done without all the daily work-related/non-work-related distractions that occur in the work place. I’m also forgetting to go to lunch. Sometimes I look up and it’s 1:30 so I’ll run downstairs fix me a sandwich and get back to what I was doing. However just about every night, with one really dumb exception, I have logged off at 5 without a care in the world. See I used to work until about 5:30/6 to avoid the majority of drive home traffic. I also used to get to work around 7:30 and now I’m “getting to work” around 7. So I think it’s all about the same.

Most of our clients have accepted digital submissions with the exception of a few whom I won’t name here but there’s a special place in hell for them should my boss get sick. See he didn’t want us out and about. So he went to good ole Amazon and bought himself a puncher and binder machine, some paper, CDs, Ink etc., and he produces the packages as we email them to him and he prints/punches/binds. Then takes them to the Fed Ex place for mailing. Again can I say BOSS OF THE YEAR! So far our group hasn’t missed a deadline. Our group is like a well oiled machine and so I don’t expect us to miss one but you have to include the so far just incase. We have had several “check-in” meetings to see how everyone is doing, to be assigned new submittals etc., so in other words. Business as usual.

 

That’s kind of how I feel about the world these days. My state has issued a “stay at home order” but it really only applies at night from like 5pm to 10am. She also announced that if everyone complied we "might" get to have football this fall. I was like really!? really!? but it did get a lot of attention. Sigh ....from the sounds of the cars driving by football be damned! If you do get caught out and about just be smart enough to say I’m going to the grocery for supplies, or I’m going to the drug store to get some medicine for my fill-in-blank and you are good to go. My family started using SHIPT long ago and continue to use it today. We got a delivery yesterday and while they were out of a lot of things it went well. All the SHIPT people are super nice and really helpful. God love em.  

 

I don’t know if you saw it or not but Golden blogged the other day after she was put on lockdown by her doctor for having a fever for a few days straight. She didn't take the test cause well they didn't have one for her to take. Her doctor said if her symptoms got worse to call immediately. Not gonna lie I think it freaked us both out. We are both a little concerned now that she is getting ready to reenter the world and go back to work on Monday. However unlike her I have been far less productive with my “quarrentine”. This morning I did clean out my car. Something that was necessary as I fished out a Halloween costume so yeah that was long over due to come out. Yesterday I did literally nothing. ALL DAY. I recently bought myself a Nintendo Switch and literally played it all day long. Except for that short time when I took a shower … you know …. To break up the day. I can not tell you the last time I spent an entrie day literally doing nothing. I just have ZERO desire to do anything. Even when I start doing something I want to do I immediately don’t want to do it and either stop or rush through it just to get it over with. 

I think I’m mentally exhausted. My brain is processing so fast I can’t see straight sometimes. I feel like I’m constantly going from the second my feet hit the floor to the point that when I do wake up I lay in my bed for at least an hour before finally dragging myself out of the bed to start the day. This is not a good habit and I need to break it sooner than later. It's like everything i have looked forward to, Invictus Games, NCAA basketball, NCAA gymnastics regionals/championships, Olympics Easter fun (dinner with family/annual Easter Egg hunt) has been canceled so what's the point in everything else continuing. Ok that's dramatic. The Olympics and Invictus will continue next year but yeah that's like a whole year away. I just have for lack of other way to phrase this a Case of the Monday's all damn week. 

On a purely selfish note let me add if this Rona fucks up my Dragon Con Vacay in Sep/Aug I’m gonna be real pissed. I mean Rona has been an irritation, and at times a real annoyance but that’s just crossing the line. On the other hand other Cons are getting cancelled and people are going to want to get their fix so …. Dragon Con might be more crowed than usual but you know what forget that I’m going and I’m going to enjoy myself damit!

Anyway happy Palm Sunday…….. tell the Easter Bunny to skip your house this year cause he might have Rona!

Marcy
@beaslma

Venting - Work Edition

It’s the weekend!!!!!!! Which means what … nothing ….. well nothing to me. I worked last weekend so this weekend I’m being more lazy than normal. I woke up this morning and realized it’s nearly time for my social media break (March 6 - April 20^th). It’s a rough time to go on a social media break to be honest. In March alone I’m going to North Carolina for a SMPS conference (Ashville) and then going to spend a few days afterwards with my cousin and a friend who just moved to the area. Other interesting things of note for the lent season: my Auburn Tigers will join the rest of the SEC for the Gymnastics Championship in New Orleans (the weekend after my trip or I’d be there); my boss is planning an employee appreciation night at our local college’s baseball game which was really fun last year; my SIL has a birthday; then in April my friend Katie and I are going to see Kiss in Birmingham, and I personally think Baby Sussex will be here sometime in March cause I don’t think Meghan is making it to April, but that’s just my opinion. I’m sure there’s other fun things in the mix I haven’t even thought about yet.

It should be a fun and relaxing month or so, and I can’t begin to tell you how I need it. The last month at work has been beyond insane, and I know I say that a lot but this past month nearly broke Marcy. A submittal I should have had over a month to work on solid, ended up being crammed into a week and a half and in that timeframe, I also had another one to get out the door, and assist with two others. The week to get it done would have been ok but I had a Subconsultant that just wouldn’t send me their information. I finally got it the DAY BEFORE I HAD TO PRINT. That’s not good. That did not make for a happy Marcy. The submittal ended up being 5 pages shy of 200 pages. Not gonna lie almost added some fluff to get me there but I ran out of time. It’s a good submittal. Do we have a snowballs chance in hell of getting the contract? Time will tell. I can honestly say that I did my part. That’s all I can do.

As you know dear reader, I’ll give my job everything I have all week long, I do my best to NOT work a weekend. I think it’s good for me and good for my company for me to have those two days. However, as I recently told a co-worker sometimes you do what you have to do to get it done. Her response to that made my blood boil. She basically told me to my face that I “Shouldn’t be working on Saturdays” then she sent me a link to an article that said “Always leave office on time” saying “you really should read this.” I guess implying that I needed the wisdom of this article in my life. To summarize the article this random dude on Linked In had shared an image of 7 points about why someone should always leave the office on time, then he gave his own 2 cents about each of those points after of course telling everyone how surprised he was that his post nearly went viral, whatever dude.  

Look don’t get me wrong I get it … balancing work and life is a struggle everyone has. Some have kids, husbands, pets, that require their attention at certain times, I myself like my quality time with my TV and adult beverages. I get that I totally do. However, I would argue I’m paid, quite well I should add, to do a job. It’s up to me to get that job done. Literally whatever it takes to get that job done is what I’m going to do. If I need to work a couple extra hours during the week to make that happen then that’s what I’ll do. If a Project Manager isn’t getting back with me the way I think he/she should then I’m going to start putting together pieces and parts knowing that when he does finally engage it may change but at least I’ll have a start of something. . . . anything. The deadline doesn’t change cause she/he isn’t doing his/her part. What my coworker fails to realize is that that PM is usually doing actual work work. Don’t get me wrong our work is important too, but the work HE/SHE does pays my salary which in turn allows me the benefits of enjoying my life away from work. That same PM likely works many a weekend and doesn’t get to complain about it, then again that PM makes way more money than I do for that privilege. Hell last week we had a PM who ended up in the hospital last Friday after spending 3 days walking around unable to breathe. Like for real guys he was not able to take a breath but he did a presentation, had 3 conference calls, visited two offices and then on Friday his coworker drove him to an Urgent Care and the Urgent Care put him in an ambulance. He’s better now but Friday night it was scary wondering if we were ever going to be able to talk to him again. So that’s an extreme that I don’t condone but I can totally understand the mentality behind it. YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET IT DONE! Then you lie down, recharge, and start back up again. If these guys can put that effort into it, then I can sacrifice a couple of hours a week and an occasional weekend for them. It’s only fair.  

However, I was talking about this asshat’sarticle, feel free to read it if you wish. The article is a lot of “feel good comments and clichés that really just justified his ass being able to go home at 5. 

His points are shown below …

•  Work is a never ending process
• Interest of a client is important, so is your family
• If you fall in life neither your client or boss will lend you a helping hand, your family will
• Life is not only about work, office and client
• A person who stays late at the office is not a hard working person
• You did not study hard or struggle in life to become a machine
• If your boss forces you to work late

Then as I said he justifies each of these points with his own bouts of wisdom which frankly sound good on paper but that’s all …. It’s not always practical. I do agree with him that work never ends, if it did we’d all have to find new jobs. However, I’d argue that tasks do. If I can stay an extra 30 minutes or and hour at the end of the day to finish something so I can move on to the next task then I’m going to do that cause it will make my tomorrow better. The best part of my job is that the deadlines are hard. Once that deadline gets here the job is done cause if I haven’t submitted then submitting late isn’t going to get us anywhere. So at some point I get to move on no matter if I am ready or not.

This article stresses time management as the reason most people don’t leave the office on time. I’d argue that is true to an extent. However, is it my lack of time management that I spent say 3 hours of my day helping coworkers get their stuff done then have to cram my stuff into the rest of the day? Is that on me or them? When they are walking out the door at a quarter to 5 after me spending time on their work am I the idiot here? Yeah I guess I am. Again, I’d argue that’s the role I’ve risen to in my 15 years at the company. My boss trust me cause he knows giving me a task means he doesn’t have to worry about that task anymore. I take pride in that. I hate when I have to lean on him during a submittal (that 200 pager required him a lot more than typical and I felt bad about that cause every time I left his office one of my coworkers was walking in behind me). So should I be more selfish of my time so that I can increase my “time management” ? Hold that thought ….

The guys second point was that family enriches your life more than a client ever will. I agree with that too cause clients can be nothing of a headache cause clients rarely call when they are happy. However keeping clients happy is important to. I’d wager a guess that if you aren’t available when a client needs you he will soon stop calling you at all. This asshat also fails to realize you spend far more time with coworkers than family in a given week. What I truly love about my place of business is we rally in times of need and support one another in a way that family does. We are after all one big dysfunctional family. I’d also argue that family often let’s you down, so yeah on this one he can suck it. 

The one I took huge objection to was the person who stays late is not a hard working person, mostly cause he went on to say that person is not working effectively or a benefit to the company and is frankly a fool. See previous statement about helping others with their work while I have to do mine after the “time limit” this guy has established has passed. He states planning your day is a major factor in getting your stuff accomplished on time. I make a to do list daily. Sometimes the day before and it starts with the things I need to accomplish (including tasks left over from the day before) in order to meet my given deadlines. Then throughout the day other things get added to that list in another color. It’s always interesting to me at the end of the day seeing what’s crossed off and what’s not and typically it’s the things that get added to my day that are crossed off first. The ironic thing is when I do blow people off so I can focus on my stuff I’m told I’m not a team player, or called not nice names that often rhymes with witch because for one day … one mfing day I’m not being helpful when someone says jump. Again maybe he’s right maybe I am a fool. A fool for coming in on a Friday when what I really wanted to do was take that day off, and for staying until 4 when what I really wanted to do was leave at 3. What was I doing on this day? I spent half of it creating a section for a coworker and writing an approach for a submittal that wasn’t mine, then I pulled resumes for another office and helped a different office with language for a different submittal. However, that’s right it was my choice to not take that day off but if I had who would have handled all that other stuff … my coworkers?! I doubt it. My boss was on vacay with his family Friday so he couldn’t have done it … .so again I ask who!? So Mr. Go home on time guy … whose doing everyone else’s job when I’m being selfish and working on my stuff? Huh?! Ever think about that?! Maybe I am a fool.

His next point … you didn’t study hard or struggle in life to become a machine. Again he’s correct in theory. No one grows up as a small child thinking man if I could only get a job that requires, I work 40-50 hours a week that’s the dream! Mr. Asshat states you have 24 hours…. 8 hours to sleep (who the hell is he kidding), 8 hours for work, and 8 hours on your own. So he’s stating that essentially there are 16 hours to play with here. Cause let’s face it find me an adult who sleeps 8 hours and I’ll show you an adult who is not adulting at all. Then his 8 hours of “my time” does that include say the hour or so it takes to get ready for work in the morning, for the record I can do it in 30 minutes, it aint pretty but I can. What about life time … groceries, taking kids to various appointments, dr appointments, what about commute time, say that takes an hour a day both ways five days a week that’s 10 hours a week right there. What I’m saying is it’s a cute idea and a cliché premise but it’s not practical. That’s my issue with this entire article. Nothing in this article is practical and it might be what’s wrong with this generation. 

Lastly the comment about a boss forcing someone to work late. I’M SORRY BUT YES SOMETIMES PEOPLE NEED TO WORK LATE. THAT’S CALLED LIFE. However, I can tell you I have the best boss on the planet and he’s often begging me not to. He told me one time he had one employee he couldn’t get to leave the office and one he couldn’t get to stay in said office. The truth is my boss has never once told me to stay. He’s told me to leave but he’s never once said you need to stay. He gets that I have this thing that makes me want to succeed and this thing in my brain that if I leave without finishing something I might as well stay cause I’m not going to enjoy wherever I go. AKA I could leave a task unfinished and pick it back up tomorrow and go home but I’m going to be at home stressing about said task being incomplete so 30 minutes here or there will allow to me 100% be at home unstressed about my work life. Plus I’ll sleep better for the 3-4 hours a night that I do get. I will also add that stress dreams about work suck super hard and I don't reccomend them at all.

My point is this …. I work hard, I am very good at my job, I wish others around me understood and were able to also state those things before they send links to me about how I need to reevaluate how I do said job. 

That is all. 

Marcy (@beaslma)

Adulting whether I want to or not!

Hold on to your hats guys I have ... a confession .... this is hard for me ...ok ... but .... I’m …. an…..adult. whew I said it and yet it still feels wrong. I mean I don’t feel like an adult, but everything in my life is leading me to believe that at some point I went to sleep perfectly fine and woke up as an adult. I need someone to hold me.

Let’s look at the facts. I have a 40+ hour full time job with benefits, vacation time (that I honestly neglect) and sick leave. I say 40+ hours cause I rarely work just 40 hours. I have a job that sometimes I’ll work the + hours and don’t charge because it’s necessary to get it all done but am not suppose to have “overtime” unless preapproved. At my job they have recently decided I’m going to get a laptop so that some of the + hours can be done at home. My boss sent an e-mail to OUR boss for approval saying and I quote, “consented to be assigned a laptop, meaning she can now work 120 hours a week instead of just 80.” sadly … he was only half kidding. I check my work e-mail on our web server several times during the weekend just “incase” anyone has asked for anything (hence the need for a laptop I guess).

Because of my 40+ hours spent working I often spend the weekend catching up on other Adult things like laundry, cleaning up around the house, washing the car, instead of playing video games, watching DVDs, and relaxing.

When someone mentions going and doing something fun I immediately think about my work schedule BEFORE I think about the cost of whatever the fun thing was. I really used to be the other way around I’d be like hecks yeah then think about the cost of said thing then think about how I’d schedule it around life. 

I wake up now at the same time every single day without an alarm clock, which is the same one I used all the way through college. The first thing I do is stand up and listen to just about every bone in my body POP, then I start to walk and realize that my knee has decided NOT to be a knee today and grab the wall or bed to steady myself. Then hobble into the bathroom to do what needs to be done.

I find myself sitting in the chair at night begging for the clock to turn to 9 so I can go to bed “at a decent hour” and not be a “loser” who went to bed before dinner when what I really want to do sometimes is go to bed before dinner! Then I get in the bed and lay there until midnight unable to sleep anyway sigh.

 

My friends who in my brain are the true adults send me pictures of their kids, invites to their wedding, post about their anniversary dinners etc., leaving me to feel like the ninth grader hanging out with the seniors who just don't notice I'm not at their level. 

However nothing made me feel more adult this week than joining a PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATION at the insistence of my boss. He told me to look at a few and see which one I found would be more helpful to the group as a whole. I found one and got excited, read that again EXCITED, cause it offered training classes, had a local chapter, and had a ton of information sharing opportunities which I have spent most of my Saturday morning looking at.

Ironically in my “research to determine if I am in fact an adult,” which should show right there that I am, I found a “test” to measure my Adult level AND SAVED THE LINK TO TAKE AT A LATER TIME when I can really focus!!!!

Oh my G-O-S-H …. I am an adult …. I need someone to hold me, give me some chocolate milk in a fun cup (maybe have My Little Pony on it) and put on a fun Disney movie S-T-A-T.

I’m still fighting this “adult” thing by keeping non-adult things in my line of eyesight at all time. Such as my collection of flash drives, Homer Simpson, Voltron, Ninja, Mickey Mouse, on my desk, the fun sitting around things like Loki, and some “McDonald Happy Meal toys” watching me work both at home and at the office. However I fear that even that is in jeopardy. See this laptop they are getting me will have a docking station, and TWO SCREENS which I a way of forcing me to Adult and clean up my desk as there simply won’t be room for all my treasures, as my mom used to call them tho now she calls them "clutter." Oh and can we talk about the fact that I'm at the age where when I do order the Happy Meal for the toy they assume it's "for my kid!"

I spend far more time than I’d like to admit playing games on my cell phone, currently addicted to Strung Along, a fun marionette game where you have to get the guy to walk through this insane obstacle course but you have to have the timing right or his strings break. It’s totally addictive and equally frustrating. I also am a fan of the Trivia Crack game if only cause there are several friends that I can’t beat to save my life and it’s my own personal mission to beat them. I WILL BEAT YOU BRETT … IT’S COMING AND YOU WILL BE SHOCKED!

 

I also signed up through my company to play in a co-ed Volleyball game, which should be a struggle with the aforementioned knee situation but I figure a few drinks in me and my knee can suck it. I loved playing Volleyball in high school and was really good at it, until an unfortunate incident involving bleachers and mis hit ball and my getting it back over the net literally at all costs.  

 

I think it’s time I went to the foot of the throne of Golden who has mastered the ADULT in the real world, and bad as I wanna be at home and I would like to be her apprentice.

Yall have a good weekend I’m going to go sort some clothes for the laundry while I watch Big Hero 6.

Take that Adulthood.

Marcy out

UPDATE: I posted a link to a survey "How Adult Are you?" Upon taking it i'm removing it from here cause it has very little do to without being an Adult...in my opinion so well played internet!

Thankfulness Challenge - Day 7

It has been a serious butt slam of a week. I don't think I ever in my life have used the term "butt slam" but somehow, it just feels right. So yeah, I'm going to say it again... Butt. Slam. I feel like I need time off from work but it hasn't been that long since I was last off work for vacation. Ah Dragon Con you are so far away yet not nearly close enough. I have this stupid weird condition where I don't want to go to work, but when I don't go I feel incredibly guilty.

It sounds like I don't enjoy my job and that's simply not true! I really do like my job. I just also really enjoy dicking around all day too and I haven't figured out how to accomplish both of those things in the same day.  I know that the truth is I have plenty of vacation days that I could take, but then that stupid voice of responsibility keeps yammering away in my head about how I need to save those days or I have things that have to be accomplished today that can only be accomplished by me. She is a persistent little bitch. It’s stupid being a responsible adult! Damn work ethic.  

So what's a girl to do? If you know how to solve this riddle of the relaxed responsibility free party gal that still maintains a healthy bank account, please do let me know (@theonlygolden). And I don't want to hear "Be born rich"! I've already had it out with my parents over this and they were less than helpful, it’s one of those things you either are or you aren’t. It’s too late to turn that clock back now.

The only way I have come up with to work and vacation while maintaining the lifestyle I’m accustomed to is to find opportunities when you are home to truly relax. Not to brag or anything, but I don't have any children. So when I'm home, I'm 100% invested in me!

One of the things I'm thankful for, especially after a butt slam week (I said butt slam again!) is that I am able to come home and find a way to check out of reality, suspend my notions of responsibility. I do this through books, movies, and even video games (although I haven't gamed as much as I used to). I also enjoy a good board game but those are often hindered by the fact that another person needs to be involved and at 3am that’s not always a possibility.

I am also thankful to be able to have a job that I enjoy but that allows me to come home and escape into another world. I’m not carrying my work home with me, I’m not sitting on my phone until 4am answering e-mails and texts about work problems (ok sometimes I do have to do that) I just get to come home, curl up on the couch and my biggest worry is did Lulu kill the cat. So my next few "thankful" posts will be dedicated to the things that help me step out of the working Golden skin and melt into the relaxed Golden that we all love......also …… Butt Slam...

-golden (@theonlygolden)

ps- This is our 50th post so thanks for joining us on this ride...please don't get off at the next exit and invite your friend to join you... I'm sure they like road trips too.