Sigh.......

Sigh ……. that is all I have for a title.  

So …… it’s Sunday …. before the Wed that I should be leaving for Dragon Con, which is going virtual this year incase you didn’t know. Honestly I could care less about that. Granted I’ll watch the virtual parade, I might check in on some of the panels they are preparing and I will look at all the cosplay that should have been seen in person but what I really miss is …. Well …. Golden. Since 2014 I’ve packed my car with all the things … driven to Golden’s house and packed the car with all her things and then headed to Atlanta for a 5 day festival of all things Geek but in all honesty the Geek festival was just the destination. For 4 days it was nothing but laughter, pizza, buss trips,  exhaustion, “can I take your picture?” talking to new people while waiting on the buss, eating, shopping, posting our various finds online, walking, waiting on the buss, drinking, standing, pizza, uber rides, talking to new people in lines, sitting, Waffle House, talking to new people while on the buss, and one really great meal at the Hard Rock usually on Saturday or Sunday after the vendor hall.

That’s what a virtual con can’t give me but God love Dragon Con for trying.

To be honest Golden offered to let me come up there anyway spend 4 days farting around her house watching movies and just chilling something we both desperately need but while it sounds like HEAVEN I’m sacred to do it. I show no signs of the virus but who the hell knows what I’m walking around with without my knowledge. My Medical Marvel isn’t going to be taken down by me, no that’s for the lady at Walmart standing to close while in line for prescription to handle. Not me. PS lady at Walmart BACK THE FUCK UP MAN, that goes for you to dude side eyeing me from the band aid display she don’t need you in her air either.

So I sit here with the most exciting part of my day so far being that our drive in Church was cancelled due to bad weather and electronics not liking rain. HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK if I’m being honest. I have a submittal due Wed but there are also two hurricanes coming that could potentially screw that up, but we aren’t going to get this job anyway. I also have two more coming up the following week that we actually DO have a shot at so that is my next focus. Since I’ve been working from home since March for it will be business as usual at least until I lose power, assuming that I will. So I am kind of glad to not be leaving the family behind to deal with the hurricane mess, tho at the moment we don’t seem to be in the eye of the cone but we are on the wrong side of it so it could get interesting.

My parents are getting ready to celebrate their 50^th anniversary which is pretty cool so I’m also kind of glad to be around to see that but I wish they would stop snipping at one another. I don’t know if it’s the combination of the pandemic stress, or the inability to go out in the world and get away from one another for a few minutes but my mom is the angriest that she’s ever been in life (I think she’s stopped taking her depression pill) and my dad dosen’t know when to back off which makes him the brunt of her wrath at the moment. I don’t know how to help them cause I totally get where my mom is coming from with my dad. However I also think mom is letting the little shit get to her (again due to lack of taking her medicine correctly) which is making it worse. I personally feel like the only “downtime” I get is when I’m laying in bed at night. I know from the second my feet hit the floor if it’s not work stuff to deal with it’s going to be dealing with mom and dad and trying to keep that bomb from exploding, or at least detonating so that it does little damage. Sometimes I feel like nothing I do is enough, or right, or correct and honestly wonder sometimes why I even try.

So …. in all reality this isn’t a great time for me mentally and I could have used the time with my bestie but I’m gonna be ok.

Stay safe out there guys ……. It’s crazy stupid.

Marcy

Dragon Con Love Note

You guys know that on Holiday’s I tend to Blog more. Not really sure why if it’s the unscheduled time that I have on my hands, if it’s the ability to think about something other than work, or if it’s just cause I’m reminded that the blog while neglected still exists and a holiday is a good time to post cause people are on their devices. It might also be that subconsciously knowing that if I blog on holidays that will give me some decent content on this thing scattered throughout the year if nothing else. 

However today is more than just a holiday post, I know you guys know it’s Independence Day which is way more than just a movie starring Will Smith and some Aliens. I know fireworks and BBQs are in the air literally and so I’m not going to bore you with that since everyone else will be. I will say if you go out, if you are in a group, please be careful, wear a mask even if others are not. Be vigilant. But nope today’s not about that. Today is a post to Dragon Con specifically, I mean the rest of you feel free to read on. 

Dragon Con incase you don’t know is a Geeky little convention, founded in 1987, that features science fiction, fantasy, gaming, comics, TV/Movies, literature, Cosplay, art, music, and for some weird reason wrestling that starts the Thursday (Wed for some) before Labor Day every year in Atlanta, Georgia. Loyal readersof this blog know that Golden and I have been attending Dragon Con with various crew members in tow since 2014. Dragon Con brings in over 80 thousand people to an already packed Atlanta on a holiday weekend and takes over 5 “host” hotels as well as other “overflow” hotels throughout downtown Atlanta. It’s owned and operated by a private for profit corporation and wouldn’t be able to do any of it without a huge staff of volunteers who deserve way more credit than they get. Also … it’s in trouble. Damn Covid-19 and damn people not doing what they should have done back in March/April/May and now July/August/September are in jeopardy. 

This year’s guest list so far features voice actors from Steven Universe, actors from Resident Evil and Star Trek Enterprise, as well as a host of comic book artist, writers, animators, and vendors from all over the US and sometimes across the pond as well. With I’m sure more to come as we get closer to the convention. Much like the ap the guest list isn’t fully announced until about a week or two out from the convention. I’ve always been fascinated by the people that Dragon Con can bring to the table since most of the actors/actresses/writers etc., are back at work on their various projects by that time of the year. However the convention being in ATL which is a stones throw from one of the busiest airports in the country might help with that. 

If you follow Dragon Con on Facebook or any of their other social media, Twitter, Instagram etc., they have recently announced the ability to roll over your 2020 membership (that’s right it’s not a ticket it’s a membership) to 2021 if you are concerned about your health and safety. There has been an increase of people saying they are taking Dragon Con up on that. Several of the hotels are also offering this as an option, tho I’m not sure I trust that cause the Dragon Con Hunger Games to get a hotel are fascinating and a huge money maker for these establishments. Then again everything is different this year, so why not this too. I want Dragon Con to know that many are also holding out hope that this years convention will move forward as anticipated. Not to mention that all of this fun is surrounded by a lot of good, there's a Dragon Con Blood Drive and they choose a charity that each panel takes up money for and at the end of the convention give money to that charity. My fear is that the people not going are louder than those that are and Dragon Con might see that and think no one is willing to show up. those of being quiet and waiting for the decision by the powers that be before making decisions are silently saying we aren't coming. That's not the case at least for me and my crew. 

I really want Dragon Con to happen this year. I NEED it to happen this year. I travel with an already comprised partner in crime Golden who has an auto immune disorder so I better than anyone else on the planet know in my brain the struggle a convention like this, right now, has to be for the powers that be at Dragon Con to make. I know what’s at stake likely more than most. That said we are both still willing to jump into the fire. If they hold the convention we’ll wear masks take the extra precautions and show up with our geek flag waving high. 

The truth is if they decide to go forward they make a lot of people angry should everyone get sick on the back end of this thing. As if we weren’t all going to get the Dragon Con Crud anyway. If they decide to bail on it they make a lot of people mad who will see it as another thing the “establishment” is taking from them during this insane year. They can’t postpone it and say try again in January. That’s now how it will work. It’s either do it this year or wait until next year. They are in a literal lose lose situation. I pray for them daily as I know the decision, they are going to have to make, will not be an easy one. 

However with all that said I repeat that I still really really really really want to go to Dragon Con this year. I’m also not saying all of this cause for the first time Golden and I are gonna be in a host hotel, and not any host hotel the mega hotel that houses 90% of the fun … the Marriott. I’m a little devastated that trumpets and angels didn’t ascend when I typed that.  It’s the holy grail of Dragon Con staying. It’s the ability to Con all night and get in bed sleep and get back out there without waiting on a buss or getting an uber. It’s the ability to attend more panels and possibly find the all elusive members only room with snacks and fun stuff in it …. We will find you one day and we will partake in your goodness. It’s the ability to be all in on the convention while also providing Golden with the ability to relax and recover when she needs to. We’ve often stayed at Overflow hotels in the past and they were awesome and the shuttles were great (when they run) but guys A HOST HOTEL with Dragon Con TV and just being in the thick of the 24-7 party come on! That’s the dream! I’m also kind of excited about the idea of a pared down con, with fewer members, fewer drunks, awesome Cosplay and to be surrounded by people who really really want to be there. 

The truth is that the convention is second to me. I cherish those 4-5 days hanging out with Golden. There’s no obligations like family dinners, no gotta rush home to let the dog out and pee, no work responsibilities (ok an occasional phone call or text but for the most part no work responsibilities) it’s 4-5 days of her, me, food, laughter, and walking … lots and lots of walking.  We always show up ready to roll and by about day 3 start dwindling down. By the time I’m back in my car heading home I’m exhausted but also elated to have spent 4-5 days with the person whom I love most in this world. That’s what it is all about for me. Sure that time we got to meet and talk with Nathan Fillion was really cool, watching Alton Brown walk by cause for some reason he chose Dragon Con to announce that Good Eats was coming by was fun, and that time we got to party with the cast of Wynona Earp and all their fans was pretty bad ass, oh and giving freaking Big Bird a hug as he walked to his car as grand marshall of the parade was something I’ll always cherish (RIP Caroll Spinney). 

So I hope the convention holds steady but I’m also preparing for it to not. I hope the organizers do what they know is right for the members, the various hotel staff members, the City and for all those that still want this event to happen. I also hope that should it not the disappointed be just that disappointed, but shift focus to 2021. I know this decision won’t be an easy one to make, matters of the wallet rarely are but I know that no matter what decision is made I’ll be back in 2021 lord willing. 


Marcy 

Waking up …. Getting involved ….

Being from a southern state racism is nothing new to us, we’ve seen it first hand and are now witnessing it at the forefront on a national scale in ways that we have never seen before but should have happened long ago. As, I believe it was Will Smith, said “Racism isn’t new it’s just now being recorded and shared in a variety of ways like never before”. I can’t fathom having to have a talk with my child about walking down a street, or going for a run, or in some cases sadly existing peacefully in my home unaware that that danger is literally at my front door and there’s very little I can do to stop it. Things have certainly escalated in the past few years, hell in the last few months.

These issues should have always been news because the struggle of a large group of our people is newsworthy. Not just during protests, or riots, or even during a pandemic but as we all know the news eventually pivots and changes their focus and the peaceful protest still going on don’t get the coverage they deserve. Until a car is set on fire, or a man returning a helmet gets shoved to the ground, or a rope is hanging in a garage in a very specific manner, or a “Karen” stands “her ground” with her husband and his assault rifle when no one was bothering them to begin with. Then the attention returns but not for any of the right reasons and the message gets distorted, twisted, and sadly diminished.  

We don't know what has taken so long for this to become a national and even a global call to action, but the time to stand up is now. Everyone has the capacity to help all it takes is love and compassion and the ability to know right from wrong and acting accordingly when you are given the chance.
If you are like me you’ve thought how can I get involved, what can I do? Well as Golden told me …. You can help in several ways. You can march. Donate time, money or resources to larger cities with protests for bail. Or on a small scale look local, find the school systems that are comprised of majority students of color, odds are they get less resources &/or funding, donate money, time or supplies to the children there, pay someone’s lunch bill or school fees. Literally anything.  

Give to programs that help low income families that don’t have the financial backing of a federal program. Granted not all people of color are impoverished or low income but due to generations of racism impacting those in charge they tend to pay black women for instance less in the workplace and redraw school districts to clump certain areas together so that black children don't have to be bused in to go to the same schools. Which leads to poor funding then to limited education and then to limited choices after school to working jobs with low pay that make it tough to make ends meet doing things the “right way.” Aka the cycle continues. So the best way to help is to try and break that cycle.

Inner city programs feed the children programs, local community centers all offer programs that work to break that cycle from an early age by offering education and extend choices beyond what they see on a daily basis. Or reach out to women shelters and abuse centers that help provide nice business clothes for women who can't afford them so they can go to job interviews. All of these cost money and your funding would be very welcome. Your time and other resources would be welcome too. However, during this pandemic money might be the way to go.

You can be an ally and if you see someone being a douchebag Karen stand up for those in need or use your white woman/man super power and call out Karen’s in a non-abusive way of course. Don’t be KAREN! 

Other ways to help would be to allow that neighbor or friend who wants to peacefully join the marches by offering to watch their children while they do so. Or ask the neighbor or friend if you can join them at said march. If you do march however please do all of us pale crackers a favor …. don't make shit about you. Be a shield and a record holder use your camera and take notes of cops names and non-cop-wanna-bes names and car tag numbers for anyone behaving outside the law. Realize that within the black community there is also the trans community and should these individuals get arrested for protesting they get thrown into a jail where because of being trans they are beaten abused and raped before bail can be posted. Donate to their cause. Reach out to them and let them know their struggle is equally as important and you are with them. Protect them all with all that you can and then support them fully afterwards.

Check in on your friends and coworkers. Learn the phrase Black Lives Matter FULL STOP. Period. Without trying to pad it. When you see people bird watching or picnicking or buying cigarettes or just trying to live their life mind your own fucking business.

The best thing you can do is invite that neighbor over to the house for something to drink, maybe share a meal, break bread create fellowship. Know that the conversation won’t be easy, it will be uncomfortable and while you might not make a bestie you might not be so concerned the next time they turn around in your driveway to go back home because they forgot something. Who knows you might meet your new bestie and be a better person for it.

Or …. Do nothing at all. Stand on the sideline without adding to the noise, without trying to bend the rhetoric, let their voices sing. Don’t start the chant but maybe join it so it can be louder. Help that person who physically can’t hold up their sign anymore hold it higher. The point is do what you feel comfortable doing in the setting that you find yourself in but know that because you ignore what’s happening it will not go away, nor should it. This has been coming for a long time and it’s just getting started. The world will change for the better. We fully believe that in our hearts.  

This is a turning point, that the light is shining brightly where it needs to at this moment and when my voice is quiet, Golden’s is louder. I believe that we will soon get back to posting about fun things again but for now wear a mask, help when and where you can, and for goodness sakes stop it already with the fireworks. Golden may be team no sleep, but I … I like sleep and I miss it. Days will be brighter soon, I feel it, cause if this is the end game…. well…that will be ok too … I guess.

Marcy & Golden

SayWhat MG

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!!!!!!

As you are all aware this weekend marks Mother’s Day here in the US. Mother’s day is special unlike any other cause let’s face it, other than the doctor who slapped us on the arse our Mom is the first one to really get a chance to hold us. That loving embrace right after birth is one that none of us remember but we always remember that lady who embraced us.

 

It’s funny to me that this all started cause a daughter wanted to honor her Mother. Did you know that Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908 when a woman named Anna Jarvis, pictured, held a memorial for her mom at church. In 1905 Ms. Jarvis started her campaign to turn Mother’s Day into a holiday because she believed a Mother was “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world.” She’s not wrong.

I think back lovingly on my mom and the years of sacrifice, meals, cleaning, protection, and shoulders to cry on that she gave me. I also think back on my grandmother who helped instill those characteristics into my mom and thus into me. She will and has always been my biggest cheerleader. This is my favorite picture of me and my mom. I don't recall what she was telling me, likely it was let dad take your picture then you can go and play, but she always made me feel like I was one of the most important things in her life. God knows she is that for me. I likely am for her too but then again she does have my brother so she can't say it. My mom has been through hell and back health wise the last few years and I'm so proud of how far she has come. Each day she gets a little stronger and a little more independent and it's been a belssing to witness.  

This year is different as all are aware but not really. My brother and his family will be coming over, his Mother-in-law will be joining us, so at our house we are carrying on as usual. This fills me with more anxiety than I’d like to admit. I’ve created this pretty protective cover around my parents during the COVID-19 mess and while they have ventured out a few times for doctors appointments and such they’ve stuck pretty close to home which is all I asked of them. They have been wearing masks even before wearing a mask was cool, again at my request. I myself have only left the house twice and both times stayed in the car. My brother however is still working daily, my sister in law goes into the office 2 or 3 days a week, my nephew just got back from gathering his stuff in Auburn for the summer and my brother’s MIL just got back from Nashville taking her granddaughter home who had been staying with her a few weeks.

I’ve almost resigned myself to the “either we get it or we don’t at this point” mentality but I’m still trying to remain vigilant. I want to enjoy tomorrow cause frankly I miss my family but I also know if that if my mom or dad or even I get it then it’s my cross to bear not theirs. It’s me that will have to deal wit the aftermath not them. I pray that we don’t get it, I pray that if we do it will not be that bad but frankly that’s all I can do at this point.

Sometime next week I’m going to have to go out into the office cause a client requested a hard copy of a submittal instead of electronic. I hope to be there less than an hour. I’ll wear gloves and my mask the entire time. Again I expect a few panic attacks but I have to start getting used to the idea of leaving this house. Of venturing out into the world again, of being around people and it turning out ok.

My state’s Gov is opening up the state on Monday there’s some limitations on what people can and can’t do for sure but for the most part it’s business as usual. I pray it’s not too early, I pray we aren’t all jumping the gun, and I pray that a round two isn’t around the corner. I also pray hard that Dragon Con will be able to move forward and if it’s not then they will make the call in time for me to cancel my reservation. I just don’t think it’s in the cards for Golden and I to be in a host hotel and that’s a damn shame. 

 

Anyway celebrate your mom, enjoy the time you get to spend with her, call you grandmother if you can too, and to those of you that are mothers ….. have a wonderful day surrounded by love. PS that's Golden's mom above .... she's like a second mother to me and worries and cares about me as much as my own mom and sometimes more so than Golden, who will totally be cool with me including a picture of a little G. HA!

Thank you for all you do and thank you Anna for giving us a day to celebrate them fully the way they deserve. 

Marcy

Happy Palm Sunday in Quarantine

 

At least according to my preacher today is Palm Sunday. I’m still trying to get used to the fact that April is finally here. March can suck it. That was just the worst I mean the worst. Tho I’m side eyeing April real hard cause it isn’t looking any better.

I haven’t left my house since March 15^th when we got home from Church. Our boss made the call that afternoon that our department was to work from home that week. See he didn’t want to risk his family by coming into a busy office building holding some 500 people and if he didn’t want to do it he wasn’t going to ask us to do it. BOSS OF THE YEAR! We had done it before when our building had a plumbing issue and half our floor flooded out. We could do it again. The following week he decided it was working and we would continue as long as it was working. If we needed to run in for something do it. If we wanted to go into the office and work we could do that too. He was leaving that week up to us but he strongly advised we stay the course. On March 27^th the firm CEO decided that all office employees that could work remotely should be working remotely, until further notice. So now all our coworkers are doing the same.

My firm should be really upset by how much I have enjoyed my working from home during this pandemic. I have found it surprisingly easy and I’m getting a lot done without all the daily work-related/non-work-related distractions that occur in the work place. I’m also forgetting to go to lunch. Sometimes I look up and it’s 1:30 so I’ll run downstairs fix me a sandwich and get back to what I was doing. However just about every night, with one really dumb exception, I have logged off at 5 without a care in the world. See I used to work until about 5:30/6 to avoid the majority of drive home traffic. I also used to get to work around 7:30 and now I’m “getting to work” around 7. So I think it’s all about the same.

Most of our clients have accepted digital submissions with the exception of a few whom I won’t name here but there’s a special place in hell for them should my boss get sick. See he didn’t want us out and about. So he went to good ole Amazon and bought himself a puncher and binder machine, some paper, CDs, Ink etc., and he produces the packages as we email them to him and he prints/punches/binds. Then takes them to the Fed Ex place for mailing. Again can I say BOSS OF THE YEAR! So far our group hasn’t missed a deadline. Our group is like a well oiled machine and so I don’t expect us to miss one but you have to include the so far just incase. We have had several “check-in” meetings to see how everyone is doing, to be assigned new submittals etc., so in other words. Business as usual.

 

That’s kind of how I feel about the world these days. My state has issued a “stay at home order” but it really only applies at night from like 5pm to 10am. She also announced that if everyone complied we "might" get to have football this fall. I was like really!? really!? but it did get a lot of attention. Sigh ....from the sounds of the cars driving by football be damned! If you do get caught out and about just be smart enough to say I’m going to the grocery for supplies, or I’m going to the drug store to get some medicine for my fill-in-blank and you are good to go. My family started using SHIPT long ago and continue to use it today. We got a delivery yesterday and while they were out of a lot of things it went well. All the SHIPT people are super nice and really helpful. God love em.  

 

I don’t know if you saw it or not but Golden blogged the other day after she was put on lockdown by her doctor for having a fever for a few days straight. She didn't take the test cause well they didn't have one for her to take. Her doctor said if her symptoms got worse to call immediately. Not gonna lie I think it freaked us both out. We are both a little concerned now that she is getting ready to reenter the world and go back to work on Monday. However unlike her I have been far less productive with my “quarrentine”. This morning I did clean out my car. Something that was necessary as I fished out a Halloween costume so yeah that was long over due to come out. Yesterday I did literally nothing. ALL DAY. I recently bought myself a Nintendo Switch and literally played it all day long. Except for that short time when I took a shower … you know …. To break up the day. I can not tell you the last time I spent an entrie day literally doing nothing. I just have ZERO desire to do anything. Even when I start doing something I want to do I immediately don’t want to do it and either stop or rush through it just to get it over with. 

I think I’m mentally exhausted. My brain is processing so fast I can’t see straight sometimes. I feel like I’m constantly going from the second my feet hit the floor to the point that when I do wake up I lay in my bed for at least an hour before finally dragging myself out of the bed to start the day. This is not a good habit and I need to break it sooner than later. It's like everything i have looked forward to, Invictus Games, NCAA basketball, NCAA gymnastics regionals/championships, Olympics Easter fun (dinner with family/annual Easter Egg hunt) has been canceled so what's the point in everything else continuing. Ok that's dramatic. The Olympics and Invictus will continue next year but yeah that's like a whole year away. I just have for lack of other way to phrase this a Case of the Monday's all damn week. 

On a purely selfish note let me add if this Rona fucks up my Dragon Con Vacay in Sep/Aug I’m gonna be real pissed. I mean Rona has been an irritation, and at times a real annoyance but that’s just crossing the line. On the other hand other Cons are getting cancelled and people are going to want to get their fix so …. Dragon Con might be more crowed than usual but you know what forget that I’m going and I’m going to enjoy myself damit!

Anyway happy Palm Sunday…….. tell the Easter Bunny to skip your house this year cause he might have Rona!

Marcy
@beaslma

AITAH

I don't know if it's because of the clear blue sky, the bright sunshine, the smell of spring arriving or if it's that the morning birds singing outside my window are Disney animated. Regardless the reason, there's something to this whole waking up and not having to 'worry/dread having to go to work' thing.

I make jokes because it is how I cope. Humor is the program I use to defrag my personal system. A way to try and help bring myself clarity, understanding and acceptance.

What we, as humanity, are going through is scarily apocalyptic. It is the subject of novels, movies and the stuff of nightmares. It is a "global pandemic" attacking anyone. It's spreading faster than mankind can combat. For those that don't get sick, depression, anxiety, self isolation, paranoia and fear are waiting to make patients of those people that the virus hasn't already. 

Being aware and informed is important to survival, however when information is obtained from an untrustworthy source or when information is used poorly, it can become a dangerous weapon. A weapon that anyone, when spreading this type of info, has the potential to wield.

It's hard to trust the information we are being fed 24 hours a day, through tv, internet and social media. Everyone has something to say, and since I'm writing this, i guess I am no different. I can watch a 'trusted local news' source and hear their information. Only to find out, it is a partial telling when i later read a release from the CDC. Only to then see a press conference by a "national leader" downplay said report. Then get on Twitter and see people from the world over asking for thoughts and prayers for loved ones passed. While on Facebook everybody's racist cousin says this is all a conspiracy stemming from the Democrats, all the grandmothers are using this as proof that you have NOT been going to church like you should be and you were raised better than this, and everyone's fun auntie/uncle is now only posting quarantine selfies and directions on how to make fashionable facemasks & tin foil hat combo sets emerged in healing crystal energy and smoked in sage.

By the time you stop to breathe (hopefully self isolated air) the cycle starts all over again!

It's hard to find a balance anymore. A healthy balance between being informed with accurate up to date news and not be overwhelmed or panicked by every posting or unreliable update. A balance between isolating to stop the spread of the disease and not separating yourself from the collective, which can lead to or exacerbate depression and anxiety, loneliness and fear. A balance of protecting ourselves but still doing what we can to help others. A balance of being concerned for humanity's wellbeing but not loosing yourself in the process.

I am currently on Dr mandated medical quarantine and so other than my trusty sidekick and partner in crime, Mighty, electronics are my companions and my connection to the outside world. Yet i can't bathe in the news as some can. It is an anxiety trigger and has the potential to cause me to have panic attacks. So I'm doing what I can to make my daily routine a happy one.

I've decided to do a house purge. I'm gathering up all the clothes and shoes that I never wear, all the items that I no longer need/use and get them prepped and boxed. So that when this is over, i can donate to those who can really use it.

I have a curb side personal library box that has been sitting on my dining room table for far too long, waiting to be painted and installed next to my mailbox. This is my 2nd one to do, i set my 1st one up at the mental health facility where i work. I should have done this one already but i just completely flaked.

This is not my Little Library but it's similar if I were to you know paint it Pink 

And although it probably seems like the lamest goal, to me it is extremely important...self care. Up until the time I was put on quarantine, i felt like I was losing myself to the stress of overworking and losing myself to the fear of 'a lack of money' and 'letting others down.' This fear is/was so strong it had just about swallowed me whole. So I want to use my time to get back to me being me, and making myself happy, healthy and strong. 

Although with me making that decision comes guilt. We are in a global crisis. People all over are getting sick and dying, but here i am trying to be grateful for this time we have, like it's some kind of vacation. I'm here trying to make myself happy, to make myself laugh. 

So...

Am I The Asshole Here?

Yeah. Probably. But nothing is permanent and although knowing at some point we all must return to the Source doesn't make losing someone any easier, it does help me remember that while we are here, life is to be experienced. And i want a happy experience, not just for me but for all. 

So be healthy.
Be safe.
Be informed.
Wash your hands, your face and your ass (which pandemic aside, this should go without saying)
But also remember...
To be happy
To be love and loved
And to be you.

-Golden (@theonlygolden)

Big Rona

So …. It’s crazy to me that my last post some 20  f’ing days ago was concerned about what I was or was not giving up for Lent. Like that was a major thing, something to stress about. Who knew that less than a month later Lent would be the least of my worries. Today marks a week since I left my house, other than to go to my back porch to retrieve frozen mystery meat for supper. My super awesome boss didn’t want to go into the office and wasn’t going to ask us to do something he wasn’t also willing to do. Turns out his wife found out that one of her coworkers is showing symptoms and his son has a classmate also showing symptoms. Our city just got the test in the last few days so who knows what they have. Could be the Flu…could be Big Rona (as Golden calls it) but either way why risk it? 

I’ve been fortunate enough to work from home for the last week and we are planning to work from home next week. some of my friends have not been so lucky. They are out there fighting the good fight and I have had other friends be released from their positions. It's a stupid crazy time for everyone.  

Whether you are reading this on mandated lockdowns, in self quarantine, Self-isolation, or just practicing social distancing you are doing your part to slow this damn thing down and I thank you. Now understand I don’t want the “virus” as everyone is starting to call it (tho its nickname changes on the daily … Coronavirus, COVID-19, whatever the president decides to call it in todays daily rant/press conference).  I’m not so concerned about getting it myself, I think I’m healthy enough to fight it off. It is my mom and dad I worry about.

Mom just got to the point where she was leaving the house again on her own, and Dad … well he’s just crazy and is even crazier when he’s normal sick let alone whatever this thing manifest itself to be. The truth is it could be devastating for them, more so than for me … then again if they are devastated then so am I. People don’t seem to understand that by being out and about you are simply taking a risk that you or I can’t afford for them to take. We are in my opinion about 2 weeks from being Italy. To having a country wide mandated, stay the fuck at home order issued. 


It’s funny how so many people are continuing to make light of this. Granted I was one of those people early on as I watched other County’s dealing with it. The longer this has gone the faster it spread the less funny it became. However some still seem to not get it. My particular town recently got the "tests" so I'm assuming our cases will start to go up. For now everyone around me feels like as long as that number remains low the threat is not a problem for us. Let me repeat we JUST GOT THE TEST. The threat is there we just don't know about it yet. 

They say stay at home everyone rushes to Walmart, or for some reason the big box stores (Costco, Sams etc.). A guy near my town had it and the hospital sent him home to recover and HE STOPED BY THE GROCERY ON THE WAY HOME! Like what?! The number of people who say “it’s just like the flu calm down!” I’ve had the flu it wasn’t fun. I’d imagine this one isn’t either and oh by the way with the Flu there's medicine I can take to make it better, not so much with Rona. The number of people getting online to say “I had it and it wasn’t that bad” should also be punched in the face. It affects everyone differently. It’s causing massive panic attacks daily don’t tell people how to feel about it. I know you think you are helping but you are just making it harder for that one that gets it cause now people think it’s not so bad that person should just get over it.

The one thing about this that I’ve loved watching is that we appear to be coming together as a Country. We appear to be finally using social media to spread good not just evil. We are reaching out to neighbors when before we’d have driven right past if they were laying on the grass in their front yards. There are people offering to get groceries for those too scared to go out, there's companies telling people that kids eat free at restaurants (ok part of that is getting people to come in the door but still), tech companies making it easier for kids to do school from home, health care workers being at the front of this and putting them selves as risk every day but especially in times like this, the people in Italy singing to one another from their various balcony's, churches being forced to share their messages online meaning more might hear what they have to say or better yet people might listen to sermons that they would never hear before. All of it adds up to the fact that even in the stupidest of times we can be good to one another. There is good out there and it's getting increasingly hard to find but if you look for it … if you really look for it, it makes the rest easier. Mr. Rogers was right. Look for the helpers, look for those who have the good sense to listen and take care of themselves and others. 

Now don’t get me wrong there are those, like my partner in crime Golden who can’t stay home. She works at a place that if she doesn’t go to work a domino effect happens … 1. She could lose her insurance. 2 Her residents who depend on her could have major problems. 3. The loss of her insurance would mean she couldn’t get her medication. 4. Golden is a sick puppy and needs that medication cause someone has to take care of Mighty. 5. Mighty might eat Golden's face after a while. Ok that last one likely won't happen but I wanted to round out my list. It is kind of humerous that a quarantine life is like built for Golden. She lives for days where she can create a nest on her couch, watch TV, play games, eat munchies, and watch movies. It’s what she has been training for but she can’t participate. That’s like the worst joke in the world.  

However if everyone else could just chill and relax then Golden being out in the world with no immune system wouldn’t be so scary.

One day this will pass, we'll all laugh and joke about it and move on to the next big thing, and one day we will look back and all of it will be analyzed and discussed. This is a great time to see that we are a Country that can come together for the greater good, even if it's only for a short time.

So be good to one another, reach out to one another, and for the love of Golden stay the fuck at home!

Marcy