Furbabies

When I was in college I got the call. Come home, spend time with Tiger cause he’s not doing well. I packed up and rushed home spent the weekend playing with him, loving on him, hugging him and then he sat in the window barking at me as I got in the car to head back to school. When I got home I knew he wasn’t here long. I knew there was a tumor in his stomach that was keeping him from eating, I knew that he was at least 13 years old. I knew these things but it didn’t make it easier for me to walk in the door and have him not run up to the back door (he was an outside dog) and me have to fight him to get out as he tried to get in. I walked around the yard and found him in his favorite spot in my mom’s garden, which also happens to be his final resting place but more on that later. He lifted his head when I said his name, he looked at me gave a half hearted bark and wagged his tail. I sat down next to him and patted his head talking to him and started to pick him up into my lap when he barked basically saying “Hey nice lady….yeah don’t touch me there!” We must have sat like that for hours, until it was dark and then we let him in (as we did most nights) to hang out for a bit. It was a nice weekend I had the opportunity to say good bye.

The next week my mom took him to our vet and they put him to sleep. My father took the day off work, my nephew helped dad dig the hole in the garden, mom had them put Tiger in a medium Tupperware box with several blankets, to keep him warm, and the vet walked my mom to the car, hugged her and cried as she left. See Tiger was his first “patient” in his new practice after he had been working for another veterinarian. We still get a Christmas card from them, we understand that Tiger’s file is still in his filing cabinet. Everyone else in the cabinet is in ABC order, Tiger is listed as #1. We understand that an intern was hired to update records and she tried to throw the file away and the vet lost his shit over it and it was returned with a note saying “do not remove.” That’s how important a furbaby is, even if it’s not yours.

Tiger started out as my dog. We got him when I was 7 after I spent a week walking around with a box of roly polys which I called my pets. It worked out fine for me until dad looked in the box and realized that all of the roly polys were dead. I was pretty sure they were just sleeping but Dad is usually right. So off we went to pick out a dog. We picked out Tiger, or better yet he picked us. We went to the shelter, my brother, my parents and I and most of the dogs ignored us but Tiger barked at me. He was so little, so cute and was in dad’s price range. When he was a puppy my brother carried him around in a baseball cap. As kids often do we loved the dog at first but then life took over and Tiger became an after thought for us but for dad he was a constant companion. He and Tiger became shadows of one another.

True Story: My mom knew the second my dad left his office because Tiger would stop running around the yard and would sit on the back stairs looking through the window. He would sit just like that until dad walked through the room then Tiger would resume his chasing of squirrels or kids around the yard. My dad didn’t work an 8-5 job, he’d come home at 4, at 5, at 6, sometimes later. The point is no matter when he was coming home we’d know it cause Tiger would be sitting on the stairs. A few minutes later dad would walk in the door. It was crazy but it was a constant.

Roxy

As some of you may know Golden recently lost her furbaby. This is her second furbaby loss since I’ve met her. When we were in college Golden got Roxy, a cocker spaniel. Roxy was amazing, smart, and pretty sure she was a little girl. She wasn’t even sure what this “dog” thing was that we kept calling her. Golden taught her all these tricks and when you said outside she would go to the door, when you said bedtime she would go to the bedroom. Once I gave Roxy a hedgehog for Christmas and by the time I left (some 2 days later) you could say “where’s your hedgehog and she could go to a pile of toys and pull it out, bring it to you and then look at you like “are you a takerbaker?!” I often gave Roxy stuffed animals cause her favorite thing to do was pull out the squeaky thing on the inside. This also resulted in fluff everywhere which Golden would have to clean up – see it was the gift that kept giving! Roxy was a great companion she would keep you company on the couch she would protect you, as long as the threat was really far away, and she was loving. I didn’t miss Tiger as much because I had a surrogate furbaby in Roxy. Roxy developed health problems as she grew up from seizures to food allergies and blew out both knees (we believe because of a seizure while Golden was at work) and eventually passed away from breast cancer. I loved Roxy and cried when Golden called me, but my heart broke for Golden. For weeks I’d check on Golden and she’d be doing well until she pulled into the drive way and it hit her like it hadn’t before that Roxy’s nose wasn’t on the window welcoming her home. She sat in her car and cried and when she told me that I cried too.

Lulu

A little while later Golden got a new furbaby. The famous Lulu, a springer spaniel (but if you asked me there was some greyhound in her too). If you follow Golden’s twitter account Lulu was a crack addicted furbaby who spent a lot of her time wishing Golden would stop singing at her. Lulu was in fact a crazy dog. She would get super excited when people came over. She loved to attack the cat (the cat  didn’t love it nearly as much) she also loved to climb trees. No joke she climbed a freaking tree chasing some birds. She was also stupid fast hence the greyhound aspect of her. Lulu loved to play, she also loved to bite.  Her tail was her greatest weapon and it hurt like hell. The first time I visited after she came to live with Golden I’d be sitting on the couch and Lu would jump up and grab my hair, which hurt like hell. She didn’t know what she was doing. She was a puppy in a grown dogs body. It was her way of pulling my shirt tail. “Hey come play with me!” Golden had Lulu for about 5 years, when I realized that I was shocked in some ways it felt like she just got Lulu in others it felt like Lulu had been there forever. A week or so ago Lulu wasn’t feeling well, wasn’t eating, drinking very little and what she was eating/drinking she would throw up. Golden took her to the Vet only to find out she had the “puppy flu” which I admit I kind of made fun of. What your dog has the flu, is that a thing? Is that real!? In all my life I’d never heard of a dog getting the flu. Turns out it’s pretty freaking serious. Lulu passed away sometime Friday night/Saturday morning. Once again Golden watched as a furbaby took it’s last breath. Losing a furbaby is never easy watching them die the way Golden did has to be brutal.

I wish I knew what to do for her. I mean if it were say, her mom (God forbid) I’d drop everything, get in my car, call the office and say I have to go. No one would question it. They would rally around and make whatever needed to happen at work happen and I’d come back in a few days thanking them for helping me help my friend. I wouldn’t even question not being by Golden’s side at this moment. I wouldn’t feel intrusive, I wouldn’t feel in the way I’d be where I needed to be no questions asked. I feel helpless right now. I didn’t drop everything and rush to Golden’s side, I didn’t call her cause she was sleeping (it’s been weeks since Golden has slept), I checked in with text messages, watched her twitter account and as long as she was tweeting, liking things I knew she was….not ok…but here. I just don’t know what to do to make this hurt less and that breaks my heart. I feel like a crappy friend.

Golden will be ok I know that in my head but my heart is broken for her as I know her’s in broken for Lulu. I hope she knows I’m here if she needs me, I’m here if she wants to talk I’m here if she wants to call and talk about say … Dr. Who or Psych or anything else that she might want to talk about instead of talking about what she can’t talk about yet. So this is a post asking you to hug your furbaby, asking you to send love and positive energy to Golden (@theonlygolden) and a post telling you that a furbaby is important. If anyone knows of anything I can do for Golden that I’m not already doing, please let me know.

RIP Lulu ….. you will be missed …. By more than just your crack dealer.

Marcy   @beaslma