Saturday, March 17, 2018

SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK – Miscellaneous Thoughts

First Off .... HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY! I hope your green kept you pinch free today and if not...well punch that asshat in the face and tell him you were mistaken you didn't think he had on green either. 

So, I have to admit something to you dear readers, this Social Media break has been hard but not for the reason you might think. See, last year I stepped away from Social Media cause I really really needed to then when I got back I made a point of using it to be more social and not just sharing, liking, or RT things and this year I find I really miss the people that I have connected with over the past year in my daily interactions.  Not necessarily the medium used, but the people. It’s been very odd, I have e-mailed a few of the people that I don’t get to see in my every day world and I missed that immediate connection that Social Media gives you. I also decided at the last minute to also give up Soda for Lent and let me tell you I miss that syrup filled goodness in my belly. My energy level is for crap, I have a constant headache and I just feel overall icky. They said most of that would go away after the first few weeks but so far that hasn’t happened for me ye. April Fool’s Day can’t get here fast enough. Ha!

That being said Lent has been filled with a ton of activities and thoughts that I’d like to share here …. So well enjoy, or go get a samache and come back later, the choice is yours.

Someone check on Golden… please

I asked in my initial Lent Post that someone take care of Golden while I was gone and I need to know who dropped the ball … was it you …. Or the guy next to you at the coffee shop reading over your shoulder ….. no it was you….. it could have been that guy, either way one of you needs to apologize. Not only did Golden get the sickest I think she has been in years, NO ONE TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS SICK!? I finally reached out to her via text only to find out she was sick, come’on guys that’s not checking up on Golden at all. I need you guys to focus for the next week or so until I can get back online. My bestie has pneumonia and bronchitis and has very low oxygen, upon checking on her this week she’s also bruised a few ribs from the violent coughing. She is indeed a medical marvel and I pray no one ever has to put up the amount of crap she has to put up with on a daily basis. She’s my hero cause no matter how much live beats her down she gets back up, looks life in the eye and says “Is that all you have … please let’s do this!”

She’s the strongest person I know and I’m blessed to have her in my life. Feel better my amazing friend. HUGS

A lady at our church recently passed away from a fight with cancer. This was a true case of the treatment was harder on the patient that the disease. They never found the right combination that would fight her disease without also destroying her. She was the first woman at our new church to welcome our family to the “fold” for lack of a better word. She was really great about being supportive and welcoming without being too overwhelming with it. She was really supportive of me when I taught Bible School last year and was kind of freaking out about it and she told me that I could do it and kept checking in on me. It was really sweet. She was quite lovely. I miss her more than I thought that I would. I’m not a funeral person, I don’t really care for them cause they seem like a celebration that is either insanely sad or that is filled with people trying to pretend that this person was perfect when they had their flaws. It’s almost like when a singer dies and for like 4 days on social media people are talking about what an influence said person was on their life or their Itunes bump is huge. It just seems like that would have been more beneficial when that person was still here to see the influence they have had on their industry. Tell those artists today how you feel about them so that I don’t’ know it will mean something. After the fact it just seems …. Like a waste cause the one who really needed to see it isn’t there to do so. I tell you this cause when I heard Miss. Yvonne passed away there was no hesitation on if I was going to the funeral or not. I not only felt I needed to be there but wanted to be there to celebrate her life.

There was more people at the Church than I have ever seen, standing room only which was really nice to see for such a wonderful lady. She was the woman who taught Sunday School for 37 years, helped with Bible School for just that long, and was always there for every function, it seems weird to think that she just won’t be anymore. It was the first funeral that I have ever attended at that church and to say I was kind of surprised by the service is an understatement. It was nice it was pleasant it just didn’t seem as personal as I thought it could be for someone who was such a part of that building. However during the service a semi-sick-funny thing happened to me. While the preacher was reading the obituary, in full, he got to the part where they list all the people that had gone before her and for a brief moment I had this vision of her walking through a gate seeing all of them standing there waiting on her and her saying,  “well why are we just standing around there’s so much to do and see … let’s go!” As this thought passed through my head I started to giggle. It was one of those giggles that once you start it’s really hard to stop. My mom nudged me and my dad looked over, others also turned and I just put my head down and pretended I was overcome with tears. It was exactly what I hoped happened for Miss Yvonne when she got to Heaven cause there’s no doubt in my mind that’s where she is now. She’s in a much better place than we are surrounded by loved ones and enjoying every second of the afterlife her Christian doctrine had told her she’d have. I’ve never thought of a “preceded in death by” list as a guest list to a party like that. I kind of like that thought tho. I think Miss Yvonne would have loved that idea tho and had she been there would have come up to me at the luncheon and said, “honey you laugh if you need to laugh, cry if you need to cry, God knows what’s in your heart and it’s all ok!” I’m gonna miss you Miss Yvonne …. RIP we’ll take care of Mr. Jim.

I know this is a running theme on this blog but work had just been insane. Like crazy insane, like I tried to quit 4 times last week and my boss laughed at me and told me he didn’t have time for that right now and to get back to it. It’s ok I wasn’t really serious but I have thought several times if they fired me for whatever reason I’d not be too broken up about it. I’d have no idea what to do next but I’m young, smart, and untethered, I’d figure it out. Truth is and don’t tell them please I’d be devastated and heartbroken. That’s just our little secret. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a long tunnel and the light is very feint but I can see it starting to emerge from the blackness. The problem is that I know there’s another tunnel behind it and another one after that. On the plus side at the end of the week my boss walked in with a folder that said “confidential” and had my name on it. He handed it to me and said, “It’s long over due really.” They gave me a bonus. It was a nice pick me up at the end of a long few weeks that reminds me why I stay where I’m at and why I do what I do. The guys at the top, really appreciate the effort I put into my job. That’s why. When I need a reminder of that please dear reader send me to this blog post.

I am also working towards my own professional certification/registration through the Society for Marketing Professional Services (SMPS) of which I am a member. SMPS is a community of marketing and business development professionals working to secure profitable business relationships for their A/E/C companies. SMPS offers members professional development, leadership opportunities, and marketing resources to advance their careers. My boss is also a member. Last year he obtained his Certified Professional Services Marketer (CPSM) designation and this year has challenged me to do the same. My test is in June which sounded really really far away but now feels really really close. He just got back from the annual SMPS conference in Atlanta and has stated he'd like for me to go next year. He would like ach of us (our team) to attend it at least once for the comradery of it. I'm excited but it will likely end up where I'm one of those in the various panels working on a proposal with both eyes while one ear is listening to the speaker. Something my boss joked about. I told him they should have had a Marcy back home, he said not everyone gets a Marcy. I told him I'm glad to see he realizes that. ha! 

Fun stuff
It hasn’t been all work and no play for Marcy however, tho I admit I have felt like it was.

A few weeks ago the head of our division bought tickets to a local Jags baseball game (University of South Alabama) in which they were playing my beloved Auburn Tigers. As an Auburn fan I got a few of the tickets. My father and I joined the group of office peeps for a night of fun watching some really great baseball. Team building they called it, I enjoyed it and hope we do that more often. It didn’t hurt that Auburn won. WAR EAGLE ! Speaking of WAR EAGLE how about them Tigers at the dance?! I won’t pretend to be a huge basketball fan but it has been kind of AUsome watching this team rise to the occasion. 

I've bought a few movies I wanted to see in the theater and didn't, but haven't watched them yet. I plan to, it's going to happen I'm just not entirely sure when. 

I've had a few meetings at church to talk about the upcoming Easter Egg hunt, Vacation Bible School and other activities. I've also got a few concerts with friends coming up. I hope to have some travel for this summer lined up soon cause I need something to look forward to, like for real.  

So that’s what I’ve been up to during Lent, how about you guys!?

Saturday, February 17, 2018


So, my social media break came at just the worst time. First my Auburn Gymnastics team beat Rutgers, very handily I might add, with some stuck landings and great performances (at least as far as I could tell on my phone since the Watch ESPN ap gave my lap top the middle finger) by my Tigers in pink for their 6th win of the season. A little shout out to Drew Watson who picked up the All-Around Title. Auburn faces Alabama this Friday for Senior Night and I hope the momentum of the last few weeks carries them through. 

However, the awesomeness … or should I say AUsomeness ... of the Auburn Gymnastics team is not the focus of this post. This “social media break” also happens to fall in the middle of Auburn’s RISE campaign. Which is a 24-hour fundraising event known as “Tiger Giving Day” #TigerGivingDay

Basically, they choose 20+ worthy projects that deserve to be highlighted and supported and put them on the site for AU fans, family, alumni to throw their support behind. Some are very worthy causes, others are, in my opinion less worthy, but they all made the list. What I love most about this event is that you can do a LOT of good on campus with very little spent. Some organizations get more of my dollars while others get enough to help them get a percent closer to their goal.

After I donated to a few of these programs I was hit with the share with your friends and family to help support #TigerGivingDay and of course I can't do that but I can post about Tiger Giving Day which lasts until Feb. 21st at Midnight and features tons of programs you can put your support behind, if you are interested.

Check out the site below …

Questions about this event can be directed here :



Tuesday, February 13, 2018



 LENT: Lent is a solemn religious observance in the Christian calendar that begins on Ash Wednesday (Feb. 14th ) and ends 6 weeks later before Easter Sunday (March 31st). The purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer for Easter through prayer, doing penance, mortifying the flesh, repentance of sings, almsgiving, and self denial. In Lent, many Christians commit to fasting, as well as giving up certain luxuries in order to replicate the sacrifice of Jesus Christ’s journey into the desert for 40 days. Many use that “extra time” to read daily devotionals, pray, and meditate in order to draw themselves closer to God.

So last year for lent I gave up social media. I was kind of sick of my timeline filled with BS that was stressing me out. I was pondering giving it up all together but decided instead of a lent break. I have to say …. I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. Since coming back from that break this thing that was supposed to be used to be social with people I’d never know without it has become that for me again. I’ve had conversations with people, I’ve done more than just share and RT everything in sight. I’ve read more articles instead of blindly sharing them. It was a nice reminder of what these sites, FB, Twitter, Instagram etc., were created for.

It’s funny to me cause last year I did it to alleviate some anxiety in my life to step away from the negativity that had taken over my social media timeline and this year … it’s more about just stepping away. When I logged back into all the sites last April I also did a cleanse of my timeline, followers, friends and now my social media is a place I enjoy going to. This is truly a sacrifice because I use Social Media to keep up with people, like Golden, my favorite musicians, sports figures, sporting events, my family etc., so it’s going to be harder this year than last year I think. I mean the Olympics are on, my Auburn Gymnastic team is poised to have a fantastic month, I’m going to see Eric Erdman play a show Wed.,  and I won’t be able to talk about it.  

However, I’m also reminded of the lessons I learned from my Social Media break last year, how I posted, what I shared, the positive energy and negativity that I put out there on my own TL for others to deal with that kind of thing. It made me a better person both in the digital world and in real life as this break also allowed me to be fully engaged in the everyday world I was living in. Let’s  not forget that it was on that Social Media break that by happenstance I found Ed Sheeran’s music and my ears have been happier for it. I wonder who will hit my radar when I’m allowed to really see that radar this year?! I also refocused my energy on this blog during my social media break which reawakened my creative side to an extent.

So my point to you all is this …. When I turned off all my notifications last year my phone immediately went silent to the point I thought it might have died. It was not uncommon for my phone to go off several times an hour, it was a distraction and those 40 days with no notifications made me not miss it or want to check my various feeds. When I relogged into everything after the break I was very selective on whose notifications were turned back on, and whom I decide I didn't miss enough to have those constant notifications. That has made my social media life way more enjoyable and far more social. 

I’ll see you guys in March … until then be safe, take care of yourselves, and if you don’t mind ….do me one favor … check in on Golden every once in a while for me :D She's planning to do another 40-acts this year and frankly that's what I'll miss the most about this break, she's the most giving person I know and  the world needs more people like her. 

Marcy (@beaslma)

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Eric Erdman New Album Review

Eric Erdman is an artist I’ve mentioned in passing a few times on this blog, but it’s well past time for him to get his due on here. I met Eric I guess around 2013 when I was hanging out with Markus Fox. Did I mention Eric is Markus Cousin? I’ll give you a little background on the man. He used to play in a band called “The Ugli Stick” of which many of my friends were followers, but never really hit my radar. It wasn’t until I started hanging out with Markus that I learned about Eric. Sitting at the table with Markus’ mom and their grandmother it was clear she was insanely proud of the musical talents that “her boys” possessed.

Eric is a true singer/songwriter out there hustling to get his music and voice out there but he’s quite ok with local success that allows him to pay his bills, travel the world playing his guitar and just enjoying life. However he’s too good for just our local shelves. While it’s selfish on our part for him to remain a local artist every time I listen to the radio I think Eric does this so much better and deserves way more of the spotlight. What better time to do that than when he’s dropping a new album, “It’s Not Like You Don’t Know Me” so forgive me for a moment while I fan girl on a dude who gives fantastic hugs and play a guitar even better.

I have 4 of Eric’s albums :
·       It’s Not Like You Don’t Know Me – Released in Jan. 2018 which is the main focus of this post see review below …
·       Not Slowing Down – Released in 2015 (via a Kickstarter fund raising effort for which I happily put my money where my mouth was)
o   This album excited me cause it wasn’t anything like the last two albums (below) but it had an Eric feel to it. You heard the lyrics and knew that the amazing brain housed in the head of Eric Erdman created each and every track. Each song tells a story and as he’s telling it you are seeing it in your head and as you know dear reader I love it when tracks do this. 
§  Tracks you should listen to right now “Aint Ben Right”  “Garden or Gun” “Mistake of a Woman” and “Objects in the Mirror” – get those tracks and you’ll come back for the rest of album. 
·       Color the Silence – Released in 2013 (which introduced me to the Hussy Hicks from Australia (but more on them in another post) 
o   I love everything about this album. It’s my go to album when I’m stressed at work and need to calm down but stay productive. This album from track one to track 10 is filled with songs easy on the ear but that also play tricks on the head and when you get the little nods in each song they make you smile.
§  Funny story. . . Eric is a pretty family friendly guy. Not many NC-17 stickers covering his album covers. At the record release party for this album he sang a song that had a few “bad words” in it. Now throughout the night as he sang he’d have people get out on the dance floor often couples sometimes singles but when he started singing a “safe version” of “Lucky (el Paso) in which he modified the lyrics to not offend anyone the dance floor filled with a TON OF KIDS all dancing their hearts out which made me laugh. As he finished singing he also commented on how that was his favorite part of the night. 
§  Tracks you should listen to right now “Last Night’s Wine” “Burn the Bridges” “Color the Silence” and “Some People”  -- then come back for the rest of the album. 
·       My Brother’s Keeper – Released in 2012 (Which I bought at the record release party for Color the Silence)
o   This album is filled with classic Eric tracks, if you go to a show you are going to hear at least two of these if not more. It’s a fantastic album, and the word play throughout is candy for my brain as well as my ears. 
§  Funny story . . . . I had my younger nephew in the car with me I guess he was around 8 or 9 and we were listening to the album as I drove him from point A to B. well I was listening he was playing a game on my phone not really paying attention to anything. Well there’s a song on this album called “Amy it Aint” which is a song about a young lady who didn’t understand that a relationship had ended. Towards the end of the song out of no where Andrew said “Geeze Amy just doesn’t get it!” I busted out laughing and when we reached our destination I tweeted Eric to tell him that story and he wrote back … “no she did not! Tell him he’s not wrong” – or something to that effect. It was a cute moment that reminded me they are ALWAYS PAYING ATTENTION. 
§  Tracks you should listen to right now “If Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right”   “Too Close to Heaven”  “Saltwater” and “Peanut Butter and Jealousy” – then come back for the rest of the album it’s fantastic.

His new album, It’s Not Like You Don’t Know Me, has 11 tracks on it, 3 of which are remakes from a previous album but they are such great songs I’m not even annoyed by that.

Let’s go track by track … cause you know me that’s how I do. As previously stated these are the thoughts that run through my head as I listen to each track. Enjoy. 

The Pond – The imagery in this song grabbed me early before I even listened to the song. I also love that I can hear Eric’s fingers as they hit the strings, I love that in a song. I’m in love with the words in this song. Every time I listen to it I get a new gem for my ears to drive into.

Favorite from this song… 
              The pond before the pebble's cast
              Doves before they scatter
              The smooth sheet of perfect glass before it felt the shatter
              The marble before sculptor
              The page before the pen
              Or what I would ask you now if I could go back and ask you then

That’s What Love Does – When you get past the music and listen to the words, which is helped by a semi-acoustic version of this song on the album it hits all your feels at once. You can feel the love in this song from a woman who gave everything she had for her family. Even at the end. I can see her laying in the bed likely making sure everyone else was comfortable despite her own discomfort from her cancer fight. He could have been talking about any southern grandma and that’s what makes it special. To take something, a moment that’s so personal to him and make it universal is a gift. I’m not gonna lie this one … it made me cry.

It’s Not Like You Don’t Know Me – I think every artist wants to sing this song, that is if they lay it all on the line the way Eric and really great musicians do. Sadly, most don’t have the guts. I like this one I’d love to know who he’s singing to here is it the fans, is it a family member, is it himself. I almost see it as a wrestle match with himself in that he can talk to people through a song but it’s harder for him in person. Not sure why I’ve gone there with it but that’s what I think of when I listen to it. Every.single.time.

The Well –I’m going to have to spend more time with this one before I wrap my brain around it. I kept thinking of a coworker going through some things non-work related and would love for her to hear this song but not sure how she’d react to it. I think she’s at a crossroad where she’s likely asking herself these questions or at least feeling what this song outlines. It’s dangerous sometimes in our own heads.

You’re Still Dangerous –I need more time with this one too…right now all I think about when I listen to it is Bonnie and Clyde and wonder if this is how their conversations went as they were speeding around in their car away from the heist.

What Karma Wouldn’t Do – The ultimate revenge song I hope he felt it and that it hurt very much, good for her, good for him and GREAT for Eric for being able to put this story together and this video in my brain. Karma she’s a witch and sometimes … she needs help.

The Leader of the Exodus – I LOVE everything about this song and all artist, new and old should be forced to listen to it every morning when they step out of their beds. Eric has before talked in songs about the mediocrity of music lately and especially the Country side of the table which has recently been filled with more bro country than I’d like to hear. My favorite line …. “In this town where the best thing you can be is overplayed” cause that’s what it is all about isn’t it? Stations play what other stations play, over and over again no matter if it has substance or worth. That’s why artist like Eric are important. The guys who spend their weekend going from gig to gig cause they love to play, love to feel the instrument in their hands and love what they can do with that instrument when left to their own devices to just … play and create.

What’s Left of What Used To Be – A  remake of a classic Eric song. I could listen to this song every day all day long and never get tired of it. I love the idea of a bulletproof younger person who realizes that’s not the case. Reflection is the theme of this song, and in this remake of this song he’s slowed it down and made it a little more mournful and allows the audience to really focus on the words. I love that. Well done Eric.

The Drought Is Over – a true love song that starts with a drought and I love the journey it took to get there. If it’s the summer I think he’s talking about I remember it well. At the beginning of the song you get this sense of relief about everyone standing on their porch thinking finally then it flips everything and turns into a love song and it’s fantastic.

Favorite from this song… 
              May 1st , rain is falling
              It’s coming down
              No doubt this gully washer’s
              Drenchin’ the ground
              Those Sweet honeysuckles
              Yellow and pink
              Open, to the sky
              To get a drink

I mean the visual that pops into one’s head is just …. Lovely.

I Get Carried Away – Another remake of a classic Eric song. The first time I heard this I remember thinking I want to go give him a hug. I love the flow of this track and I love how it all comes full circle by the end of it.

Bird On A Powerline – Another remake of a classic Eric song. I love this song, love everything about it. The video that it makes play in my head, the playfulness in Eric’s voice as he sings it and just the overall vision that it took to create this song about this young man (stalker) watching his lady love going about her day only to know that she will never ever notice him but he’s watching every step she takes. It often makes me wonder how many people you may see throughout your day that you don’t even notice but that notice you.

You can get any of these albums mentioned at Eric’s website below, and you really should get them ASAP:

Enjoy an artist who has given me years of joy and whom I hope will give my ears many many more songs to digest and play with as I listen for all the cleaver nods that he builds into his music. I told him once that I wanted to walk around in his brain for like an hour and just marvel at it’s awesomeness. He warned me that it was a wild place ….. I still want to do it tho cause wild as it may be … it’s still a pretty awesome brain to come up with the lyrics he does.

Check out Eric and your ear holes will thank me !

Once again Eric … to be the pen to your paper must be quite an honor for the ink. Thank you for sharing your talents, time, and voice with us. 

Marcy (@beaslma)

Sunday, January 7, 2018

AmWriting "My Fault"

So I started this story the other day, it buried itself into my brain and wouldn't let go until I got it out .... and since one of my goal is to write more ... I decided to post it here. Some of my issues with writing of late is that I write it, save it, then close the word file, moving on with my life thinking, well that was pointless. Without have an end game for the story a place to share it, a purpose for its existence it makes it seem silly. Like learning a musical instrument in your 40s. So I'm going to use this blog for some of that. Maybe you'll read it and enjoy it maybe you won't but at least it's no longer a file on my computer sitting useless. So ... here goes ...

My Fault

David sat in his chair, a drink in his hand, lights turned off, and remote in his other hand, when there was a knock on his door. He sat his drink down, “it's open” he yelled as he muted the TV with a sigh.

His cousin’s wife Ann walked in, slightly taken back by his appearance, and sat down across from him as she tried not to show it, “So….how’s it going?” he noticed her glance around the room.

He grinned, likely for the first time in days, “Really? That’s what you are going with… ‘how’s it going’ he paused, “You do realize how lame that is, right?!”

She, reached for his drink, leaned back in the chair, “yeah whatever …the point is still the same, how are you?” She took a sip of his drink, “Pepsi?”

“I’m not over here drinking myself into a stupor, I’m better than that.” She raised an eyebrow, “yeah, ok I’m not, but you caught me on a good night. I spent a full week completely toasted and it didn’t help so I’m trying the other spectrum.” Then he smirked again, “Yes, you may have some of my drink. Since you asked.”

“There he is, that’s who I’ve been looking for.” She handed him back his drink, “Look I know this isn’t easy, I guess the reason I’m here, is to ….” She paused, leaned forward, placed her hand on his knee “I’m here.”

“I know. I appreciate it, really I do.” He looked towards the TV as the show he was watching started to come back on, “Wanna watch with me?” He half hoped she’d decline and leave and the other part of him hoped she’d stay. He wasn’t sure which part he wanted to win, but it was kind of nice talking to someone, he had forgotten what his voice sounded like.

She didn’t answer, but got up and moved to sit in the chair closer to him and reached for his hand. He took it and squeezed it as they settled in to watch.

A few months ago, if she had come by, there would have been food in the kitchen, music playing from the stereo, or more likely his phone, and the TV would have been long forgotten. A few months ago, he was happy, he was engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world and had his entire life planned out ready for him to live it. A few months ago, she wouldn’t have come over alone, but would have brought his cousin, Chris, with her and they would have spent an evening in conversation, laughter, and fun games. A few months ago, everything was different.

He remembered the first time he brought Karen home to meet Chris and Ann. He wasn’t sure who was more nervous Ann or Karen. He laughed a little to himself when he remembered telling Karen afterwards that he would have won that title easily as they made their way home. They had been dating for nearly a year, but he didn’t want to introduce her until he knew he they were serious about each other. Why put her through the scrutiny if she wasn’t the one he reasoned. They walked in the house and Chris was outback grilling steaks. Ann handed Karen a glass of wine and sent David outside, “Go she’ll be fine… I don’t bite …hard!” He glanced at Karen who replied, “I have no problem biting back!” Both laughed, and he kissed her on the head as he went towards the back door. As she closed it behind him he yelled, “Best behavior Ann!”

“What’s that about?” Chris said looking up. 

“I think I was kicked out of your house so your wife could interrogate my date!”

He laughed, “You really should have seen that coming!” then turning to the mini fridge on the deck, “Have a beer.” “So…..”

David laughed, “So…..” They have always had very easy conversation often holding long conversations barely saying a word to one another. They were roughly the same age with Chris being 6 months older, but David was taller. They were as close as brothers and despite the fact they had different moms looked like brothers too. “She’s a great girl, you are going to like her. If you don’t … keep it to yourself”

He flipped the steaks, “Deal.” They both knew that Ann was the camel, if Karen didn’t win her over then it was an uphill battle no matter who else liked her. They talked football while waiting on the steaks to finish. David kept glancing through the window to see the two laughing with one another. 

It was a wonderful night, a little awkward at times, but everyone seemed to get along and that’s what was important to David. He didn’t need them to all be best friends out of the gate, but he needed them to all get along since they would spent a lot of time together down the road. At one point he saw Chris grinning at Karen as she told a story about her dog and he caught Amy grinning at him with a small nod of approval at what she was hearing. They would become fast friends and the four of them became very close in a short span of time. When David finally popped the question Amy was the first person Karen told, Chris having already known for weeks that it was coming.

They both watched in silence as the comedy on TV played out in front of them, he was starring at the box but not really taking it in and she kept stealing glances at him. She also noticed a pile of mail unopened, and a computer covered in a thin layer of dust. He was nesting and had cut himself off from everything even she and Chris. The cell phone, that she has been desperately trying to connect with him late laid discarded on the other side of the room, she couldn’t tell if it still had battery or not. He looked good, tired, but good. She glanced at him again and this time he caught her, “Chris said to say hi if I got to talk to you. So "HI!" He’s working tonight but … well he’s worried about you too. We’ve been trying to call but you aren’t answering.” Gesturing to the phone, “You can’t do that you know.”

“I do.” As he continued to stare at the TV. “I haven’t had much to say, and then my phone died. It was nothing personal, honest.”

She ignored that, “There’s this cool device they have now, I’ll see if I can get you one, you plug one end into the wall and the other end into your phone and like magic it keeps it charged for you so that the battery won’t die.” She smiled as the said it hoping he’d laugh.

“I’ve heard of those, there might be one around here somewhere, seemed easier to not though.” He didn’t laugh.

The show came back on and she was lost in thought. This had been going on for over a month and frankly it scared her.

No matter what has happened in their lives they’ve dealt with it together, Chris was his rock and she knew David was Chris’ rock. If they weren’t going to reach out to one another she’d be that bridge. She had the night free and decided she’d come over. Not really expecting to find this. She didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this. She knew he was hurting, she knew he was pulling away she didn’t know what to do about it. She wished Chis was here, he told her to give him time. “He’ll come to us when he’s ready Amy, you have to respect that.”

She glanced around the room again only to realize that any remembrance of her was gone, no photographs, no books, no clothing. A shadow box that she made after their last vacation was gone from the wall. Then she noticed the boxes in the hallway. He had purged her from the house. She felt helpless to help him through this and felt as his friend it was her duty to see him to the other side of his heartbreak, somehow.

Shortly after college Amy and Chris broke up, they fought for weeks before deciding that it was just too much effort to be together. They boxed up their stuff and went their separate ways figuring they’d never see one another again.  She moved in with her best friend from College until she figured out what to do next. They were having dinner one night when a knock at the door scared them both since they weren’t expecting anyone.

She was shocked to see David behind the peep hole. He knew she was looking and waved. She opened the door but didn’t invite him in as it started to rain.

“Hey…” he said as he buried his hands in his jacket pockets. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d come by and see how you were doing.” She didn’t say anything so he just stood there as it started raining harder, “Um… can I come in ?”

“Oh yeah of course, please come in. We were just eating dinner, it’s just spaghetti but would you like a plate?!” As she moved out of the way to let him in.

“No, I’m good I’ve already eaten, I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner, please sit back down and eat while it’s hot.” He pulled her chair back out and gestured to her to sit down. She took her seat her friend still sitting in hers. No way in the world was she leaving this conversation if she could help it.

“So….how’s it going?” she grinned as she took a big bite.

“I’m good, work is good, life is good …… look … I’m not going to waste your time. Is it really over…. Cause … Chris is a mess. He’s angry with himself that you guys go to this point but he has no idea how to make this better cause you won’t talk to him. What can we do to fix this?”


“Hey I’m part of this relationship too, I introduced you guys after all. If you don’t make it my relationship quota goes back down to none. I have a reputation I’m trying to build here.”

She smiled and put her fork down, “look David, I appreciate…”

He cut her off, “no …. No I won’t leave here without a solution for this. The two of you belong together, he’s an idiot and no one knows that better than me. He’s a better man when you are around, he thinks more about the world, he’s more focused and driven when you are around. He needs you. He can’t breathe when you aren’t around, he’s constantly at near panic attack mode. I’m not saying that’s a positive, but it’s the truth. I hate seeing him like this and I know the solution is you two getting back together. I know you guys have problems, but if you can’t work them out what’s the hope for the rest of us? He makes you better too by the way. He relaxes you, he shows you there is more to life than work and you need him too. Will you just talk to him and see if there’s anything there to salvage?!”

She was taken back by his bluntness, she glanced at her friend who shrugged, “He’s not wrong. You guys are great together and short of something catastrophic you should at least try to work it out.”

He walked over to her friend, “I like her, why don’t we hang out with her more.”

She didn’t know what to say. She still loved Chris and David was right she needed him as much as he needed her. When she didn’t reply he got down on his knee to be on her level, “what was the fight about?” she honestly couldn’t remember. “Please Ann just have coffee with him. Tomorrow 9am?”

She agreed, and they got back together around 9:05 and were married a few months later. David, the best man, gave a fantastic speech about how he made this night happen and was solely responsible for their happiness which made the room laugh and the two of them nod in agreement. She had looked forward to watching him on this journey finding the love of his life, marriage, kids, and felt cheated that he wasn’t going to have that at least for now. There had been other girlfriends but none that made his face light up the way Karen did. None who put that sparkle in his eye just by saying her name in his presence.

The show continued, neither really caring about the show, but it gave them a chance to talk during commercials and not have to deal with awkward pauses.  When the show ended she squeezed his hand again, “well I’m going to go, please charge your phone, and check in every once in a while.”

She walked over to his phone and plugged it in for him, then started out the door when he said quietly, “it’s all my fault.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“It was …. my fault.”

“Please do not be stupid, you can’t possibly think that is true.” As she made her way back over to him.

“She was due to come home two days later. I missed her. I asked her to come home early. Had I never called her on that stupid phone, she’d be sitting here with us now.” That was the first time he said out loud the words that had been bouncing around in his head for weeks. “I was bored and missed her and now I’ll never talk to her again.” She wrapped him in her arms, no words for him as he sobbed into her shoulder.

She had no idea how to react “Darlin, you can’t do that to yourself.” He lifted his head and looked her in the eyes, “how can I not?” tears streaming down his face.

Seeing that face she was reminded of the day he got the call, on the same phone she suddenly realized that she had just set to charge. He had joined them for lunch after church and was about to leave to go pick her up at the airport when his phone rang. She and Chris were arguing about something, she couldn’t remember what now, and when he answered they both sensed the room change. He turned white as a ghost, grabbed Chris’ shoulder, said he’d be right there. The two of them took off out the door without speaking, she ran to grab her shoes to join them. By the time she got to the door they were gone. Chris told her later how awful it was walking into the hospital looking for Karen only to be told she had just taken her last breath. They were told that the pilot over shot the runway and the plane crashed as it was trying to land, there were few survivors. They missed talking to her by less than 5 minutes.  A few months ago, everything was different now it may never be the same.

You know ... I'm not sure why most of my stories end with someone leaving or dying but there ya go.... What did you all think?

Marcy (@beaslma)   

Sunday, December 31, 2017

2018 Resolutions/Guidelines

HAPPY NEW YEAR…. In a few hours … look I plan to be sound asleep in bed at midnight or at least in bed wishing the neighbors would stop with the fireworks already. So I’m telling you happy new year now mostly cause I can’t wait for this shitstorm of a year to just go. Seriously 2017 don’t let the door hit you on the way out. It’s not 2017’s fault, really I mean it just showed up and what happened …well it just happened however I’m blaming 2017 cause there’s really no one else to blame.

Overall it was a pretty decent year, for me anyway, for the Country that's for history to decide. My 2017 resolutions all pretty much came out ahead so that’s a positive. In 2017 my resolutions included write more … which I did … kinda …hey I finished my Haley and Michael’s story so that’s one thing I did … I didn’t start a new one which I had wanted to do but hey that’s Future Marcy’s problem right?! I also wanted to exercise and lose some weight. I did kind of do this, I maintained the weight I was at so I didn’t gain any but I lost very little too so I’m calling this one a draw. I wanted to Travel more and damn if that didn’t rocket to the top of my success list. I traveled to Auburn a few times, Birmingham a few more times, Atlanta a few times, Pensacola (for work), Orlando for fun, and Nashville for the best weekend ever. I definitely can say that this resolution was met with a very happy yes let’s do that attitude. I wanted to get more involved in church, since I had just started a new church in 2016 and I can definitely report that I did do that, from Vacation Bible School to helping with Communion and the Nursery this was also a successful resolution. I also helped with several “parents night out events” and have been appointed to keeping up with the monies coming in and out of the church in 2018 which I’ve already started. I wanted to spend more time with friends which I can report I did so, I mean I didn’t go on all those trips myself did I? I want to make more time to stop and do lunch with friends, or have dinner with friends I don’t see often more in 2018 so that’s a new goal. I also didn’t want to die. That was the main thing I wanted to accomplish for 2017 and I can proudly say that I accomplished that goal. Whew … it was touch and go panic wise most of the year but I did it. Suck it 2017.

So … what do I hope to accomplish in 2018 …. What does it have in store for me ….. what can I try to control when the outside world is too much ….. these are my resolutions/guidelines for 2018 …

1.       Lose Weight – I desperate need to keep this one in check. It’s weird I’m like the opposite of anorexic, like I don’t feel overweight when I’m just sitting around or walking around then I walk by a piece of store front glass and I’m like who the hell is that or someone takes a picture and I’m all ewwwwwwwwwwwww. I really need to get this in check sooner than later and no time like the present, or tomorrow, maybe tomorrow is better. If nothing else I want to be able to go to things and buy a tshirt remembering that trip or that event and right now I’m often told they don’t have that size I have started wearing clothing that fits instead of clothing that’s too big so I can hide in it some. That’s helped a bit but I have more work to be done … stupid chips … being so damn delicious.

2.       Clean More – I have a tendency to let things go until I simply can’t take it anymore then have a massive day where I spend it cleaning, typically it’s a Saturday and by say 5pm I’m done even if I’m not done. So my area often looks worse than it is cause there are piles of crap everywhere. I need to take a lot of stuff to good will, I have far more clothes than I’ll ever wear, I need to throw things away that I’m not going to use and are of no use to anyone else. These are things I really need to do. I should also vacuum more but I know me let’s start with just being able to sit on the window seat.

3.       Spend more time with Friends – this includes dinners after work, or long lunches with friends I don’t see often. I did some of that this past year but not nearly as much. There was still al lot “let’s do x-y-z” then nothing came of it, and I miss these people. My goal is to do more of the planning and less of the not doing the planning. I’m not talking long trips, I’m talking around town going to movies, going to dinner, having adult conversations over adult beverages. I’m really bad about thinking no one wants to do x-y-z with me so I don’t ask, but I need to trust these people to tell me no. ha!

4.       Travel more – I want to continue to travel in 2018. I really enjoyed that aspect of 2017 getting to go and do things instead of being at work or not being at work. I even enjoyed a few of my work travel trips, tho my friendship trips were way more fun obviously. It’s not even 2018 and I already have a trip to New Orleans planned for Mardi Gras (who am I ?) and also a trip to Orlando in October with that same friend now that I think about it. So I’m hoping 2018 will follow 2017’s example and I’ll have more fun during my “downtime” cause after all that’s why I work as hard as I do right?!

5.       Spend time with the nephew’s – As I said the other day the older nephew will be in college next year, that’s just insane. I know after he gets to Auburn he’ll have less time with his aunt Marcy and that’s ok. He’s growing up and has his own life but I have little time left to hang with him so I want to take advantage of it even if he’s busier than I am between school, work and his girlfriend, bring her a long, I like her. As for the little one when big bro leaves I want to hang with him more too cause I remember when my brother left for school I suddenly felt like I was disconnected from him even if we didn’t spent a lot of time together as it was. I want to do more with them than go to a sporting event, have lunch, then come home.

6.       Discover new music – last year I found a new artist whom I adore cause I took a chance and found someone who I my ear holes have been very happy that I found. My twitter follower list is filled with independent artist just waiting for that big break and I like seeing that from the beginning. I also want to post more about these artist to try and put their name out there some. When this blog first started I wrote a lot about my obsession with music, I need to get back into that.

7.       See more movies – I’m not talking about DVDs tho I do have a ton of those still in the wrappers but I’m talking seeing movies in the theater. I had several movies this year that I wanted to see then never did. Either I couldn’t’ find anyone interested in said movie or there wasn’t a good time to go so the movie left the theater. My goal this year a movie every other month even if I have to go alone, I mean it’s not like me and the friend I drag along are going to be talking through the movie right?

8.       Write more letters – sure social media is fine and allows us to feel connected even when we really aren’t, but a long or short letter to someone can make their day. I want to do that more often, I had a pen pal I guess I still have that pen pal I haven’t heard from her in a while but I went a few months without reaching out to her too. I want to make more of an effort to her and to others in my life who aren’t close enough to touch but that would be fun to reach out to in this more traditional way.

So that’s the plan for 2018 …… I’m sure I’m leaving a few things off but just cause they aren’t on this list that doesn’t mean I can’t do them right?! I’m not nearly as anxiety ridden about 2018 as I was but I see another social media break for me in my future. I really enjoyed the Lent break I took and I think that’s going to become a yearly thing for me. It’s good to step away, stop with the RT and shares and think about how we use that platform not always for the greater good. I’m hoping that 2018 will include more conversations and less name calling, more discussions about events and ideas and less dismissing things outright since they don’t fit into my beliefs. I think we can make the world a better place in 2018 but only if we strive to listen to one another, have the conversations we’ve been avoiding and realize that it’s ok to not agree with others as long as those disagreements are done respectively. You can’t change someone’s view but treating that person as if they are an asshat. You don’t have to change the world but you can make it a better place. Let’s make 2018 a positive year and that starts with what we post, how we interact with one another and frankly what we put out into the world. 

Let’s do this!

Marcy (@beaslma)

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Mandatory Year End Post

We started this blog in August 2014 and as I look towards the end of 2017 and towards 2018 I can’t help but wonder …. Why someone would take the time to read what we have written. I mean 12,909 times people have clicked on this blog in the last three years, you’d think that you guys would have better things to read. I mean don’t get me wrong …. I appreciate you all being here I just wonder if you don’t have a head injury, lost a bet in hell, or are under court order forcing you to be here. Either way … welcome and I hope in some small way we have entertained you.  According to my calculations we had over 24 posts this year and had 5 months with more than 3 posts so that’s exciting. I even got Golden to do a few posts in 2017, here’s hoping she makes it back in 2018 more.

I will admit this time last year I was very wary of 2017. I didn’t have high aspirations for it …frankly I wasn’t sure we’d even be around for yearend post to be possible so since we are …. 2017 is a win, I guess, I mean jeezz that bar was set really really low huh? I spent most of the year at near panic attack status and my social media break during Lent helped get me back in check somewhat. It was that serious people. I have also decided based on my previous fears to “seize the day” as it were and do things outside of my comfort zone. I can honestly say for the first time in my professional life I did not neglect my vacation time. You know what was so great about that….work didn’t fall apart. Everything continued as needed and I realized for the first time really that it truly wasn’t all on my shoulders, something my boss has been telling me for years.

This vacation time was spent having a really great time. I started the year with a trip to Auburn to see the Gymnastics team do their thing (we wanted to go to a softball game but no tickets available), then Golden’s birthday trip to the Zoo in May. In July I went with a friend to see Asia/Journey in concert and fart around a bit at the Beach being lazy in a pool (that’s right people I worse a swimsuit in public and no one died (that I’m aware of anyway)). In August/September Dragon Con took full stage, and in October Nashville/Ed Sheeran then to cap off the year Disney with Golden. I made a deal with myself last year I was going to travel more, spend more time with friends and family and have experiences not just wish I was doing things. I took over 3 work weeks (15 days total) off this year at various points of the year and still have over 3 weeks in the vacation bank. According to HR I can also be sick for a month should I need to utilize that, here’s hoping I don’t, then again a mental health day every once in a while might be a good idea. I’ll cough now in case I need it *cough*.

That’s crazy to me, but that’s what some 14 years of neglecting your vacation time gets you I guess. That’s another mile stone I reached, I have now been at my job for 14 years. If work were a kid it would be a teenager about to start studying for his/her permit as he/she stands at the top of the stairs yelling they hate me for being well an adult and “interfering in their life” or some jazz like that according to TV/movies I watch. As it stands, I’m still not married, not even in a relationship of any type, and kids are so far out of my radar that I’ve decided I’m ok with not ever having any, that’s what Nephews are for right?! Speaking of Nephews in 2018 the oldest will be graduating from High School and he’s already been accepted to Auburn University for the fall. He’s really stupid smart and has gotten over $8K in scholarship monies so far and they are still rolling in. I’m insanely proud of him and yet also worried about him at the same time. I’m sure he’ll do fine but I know that my first semester (Quarter … we were on Quarters then) was rough and no matter how many times I tell him that he thinks I got this, which is fine cause I did the same thing when my brother tried to warn me. He’s going to have find out himself and I know that but I wish he could learn from the mistakes I made. He’ll be fine, he’ll stumble and pick himself back up and I just might have to make it to a few games next year to you know check on him and all.

I did a few things this year for me, I went to the doctor for some long overdue things that could have waited but are making my life easier so I’m glad I did it. My blood pressure is more under control than it has been which is, as Martha Stewart would say “a good thing.” I lost a little bit of weight but would like to do more. I’ve never really dieted (as anyone who has seen me can tell) but I do think it’s time I did something for real about this weight, the issue is I really like to eat, and I’m also a stress eater. I don’t eat a lot but what I do eat isn’t good for me, lots of fried food, salty stuff that kind of thing. Chips are my weakness… I LOVE CHIPS any kind all day long. I think it’s the crunch. I also love opening that bag for the first time…… “Hi…My name is Marcy and I’m addicted to the crunch of eating chips!”

2018 I hope for more of the same …. Travel, time with friends, time with family, fun not just work … that’s the goal. I already have a few fun things lined up for 2018 including a few concerts and another trip to Disney in October with Christina and her family. We are going to trick or treat in the Magic Kingdom people! That sounds like so much fun ... mental note to self gotta find a costume. I assume that we will do Dragon Con again but it’s far too early to make those plans, ha! Of course I’ll continue my involvement at our new church – um … I’ve now been there over a year can I still call it my “new” church? – These silly people have appointed me as the record keeper for the monies coming in and out of the church, which is very daunting cause me and numbers don’t get along. Lucky I have people watching my back to make sure I’m doing it correctly, bless them. I assume I’ll also help with Vacation Bible School again and more Kid’s Night Out events are in my future as well I’m sure. The kids seem to enjoy them and I think the parents do as well.

I will write another “New Years” post with resolutions/guidelines for the coming year, but I’ll admit 2018 doesn’t feel as scary as 2017 did, or maybe my brain is just numb to it all…who knows.

Either way … thanks for reading, thanks for being my sounding board, and thanks for not being bored even if I’ve started treating this thing like my diary of events.

Have a fantastic New Year see you on the other side!

Marcy (@beaslma)

PS – in 2018 I’m hoping to get Golden (@theonlygolden) back on this blog, 2017 was not good to her, it was downright evil actually, here is to an even better 2018 for her as well as for all reading these words.