Wednesday, November 30, 2022

2022 Christmas TV Movie Calendar

 Good news fellow lovers of random TV specials, the Crimmus Calendar (that’s how my bestie spells it and now I it looks weird spelling it the “right” way), unlike the Halloween calendar, was much easier tho Hallmark, Freeform, and Lifetime have done their best to overtake the darn thing once again this year. I would however argue that if you start showing Christmas shows in April on a loop 24/7 then maybe you don’t have much else to offer and might wanna review your strategy – just saying. 

I admit … This calendar has been burning a hole in my file structure for about a week, but since I didn’t put anything on it for the week of Thanksgiving I decided to hold it. I also didn’t want it getting lost in the shuffle that is yall’s inbox during the holiday. Then like 3 weeks in people are like did I not get your calendar and they have missed out on so much awesomeness. I mean that’s not my fault, I know that but still I’ll feel bad for you and your disorganized self.  

As many of you may know GAC is also trying to get into the holiday specials mix, Great American Country for those that don’t know, but I don’t have that channel. As I’ve said for the last several years if I don’t have it … it won’t appear on this calendar. I’m selfish that way. Plus, I don’t wanna be all political but if Candace Cameron Bure is how you plan out your TV watching time then just turn the thing off and read a book. Seriously. DJ is great but yeah calm down it’s just a Crimmus movie you aren’t saving the world.   

Before we dive in … I think it’s important to repeat the rules, cause without rules there is chaos and we can’t have that with Santa in the air and all. . . .  

  • NO E-MAILS about taking Christ out of Christmas, it is there you all know it just stop being difficult..... I mean honestly, it’s just a really long word and using X-Mas allows for more shows on the already full calendar.  
    • Thanks for your understanding.  
    • For those that don’t understand I’ll be glad to remove you from the list just let me know.  
  • I live in the central time zone, the times on this calendar reflect that, adjust accordingly 
    • That said unless otherwise stated the times are PM 
  • Very special episodes need not apply. This calendar does not focus on established show “Christmas special episodes” so watch out for those … Psych for instance has a great one and Friends had some touching Christmas specials, however, that’s not what we are here for. 
  • NASFL – Not all is safe for Littles … This calendar contains shows I want to see, some are new, some are classics, and some are just downright dumb but I like em so back off! There is a mixture of adult themed shows/movies and kid themed shows/movies cause I’m just a kid at heart. PLEASE be mindful of what is on before you sit the kids down with popcorn to watch. 
    • Don’t call me cause your little one watched some holiday movie on Lifetime or and now has “questions”. . . . that’s your mess not mine.  
  • Late Hour Focus, but hour round fun. For you work from home people, stay at home mom’s, or employers who have access to good wifi ….  they run these specials all day long, and while my calendar focuses on the after-work hour times, since that is when I can watch, fire it up as background noise for that meeting that you are totes paying attention to. Then you can thank me later.  
      1. That’s right it’s all about me!  

It seems everyone has a gimmick or a brand they are selling, It’s a Wonderful Lifetime, on well … Lifetime, 25 days of Christmas on Freeform, Miracles of Christmas from Hallmark Movies and Mystery (which was a missed opportunity for them for sure) Best Christmas Ever from AMC (which is debatable but their love of Claymation makes up for it) and so on. Marketing departments have been working overtime for their various channels, but it kept them employed so … good for them. I do question a network that does 25 days of anything but when you really study their programing realize that they are really replaying the same 10 movies over and over and I wonder if their time couldn’t be better spent.  

Especially when you look at their line ups in their various Aps and see that there is so much more out there than a Burnt out executive who leaves the big city to help her parents shut down the ranch she grew up on but shunned and left for bigger things only to find the love of her life tending to {insert your animal here} with a plan to save the ranch but only if she agreed to leave the hustle and bustle of the big city to pick up where her aging parents have left off and agree to marry him on the spot or the deal is off. Or you know … something of that nature, over and over again.  

So, with that thought in mind, the focus of this calendar is on NEW specials and returning movies I want to see cause I mean frankly there is not enough paper and ink in the printers around the world to include them all. Trust me, I’ve tried. I meant if you haven’t seen a Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen in their hey day trying to get to Grandmas’ house have you even lived?! PS it only comes on a few times and for some reason at the arse crack of dawn each and every time. Don’t ask me why …. just be happy it’s still on the air. I mean they have to be what in their late 30’s or something by now? I also admit that Die Hard didn’t make the cut again this year, which is not my fault. I just can’t find that it’s airing anytime in the next 25 days. I tried Guys I promise!  

A Few suggestions for your holiday viewing:  

  • Ralphie Love !!!!! Both TBS and TNT are showing 24 hours of a Christmas Story starting Christmas Eve … and you should also check out the A Christmas Story Christmas on HBO if you have it cause it’s everything little Marcy wanted in life!  It pulls at all the same heart strings that the original pulls on …. once in a while a little too hard.  
  • The Star – appears several times on Freeform this year. I admit I didn’t give this special the notice it deserved when it first came on in 2017. I fell in love with it hard a few years ago and it’s now must see TV for me every year. Make sure you check it out. Your kiddos will LOVE this animated special and they just might learn something too.  
  • A New Orleans Noel on Lifetime is well a NEW Christmas movie that is set in New Orleans and bring Rudi back to our television screens and I’m all for anything that does that. If it also brings Patti LaBelle then that’s just a bonus. The Big Easy at Crimmus what could be more fun !?  
  • Lifetime: speaking of Lifetime they are working to end the reign of Hallmark as the place for Holiday fun by airing NEW movies EVERY Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights at 7 central. Sure they all have a similar pattern to them but that didn’t bother you when Hallmark did it, so tune in cause did I mention they are NEW !  
  • CNN All Star Tribute at 7 on CNN Dec. 11thI have talked about this before … it’s an annual special that highlights some pretty amazing things being done around this planet to try and make it a better place. It’s a very uplifting night and reminds you that maybe .. just maybe the world has some good left in it.  
  • Claymation Love – Both AMC and Freeform are giving us the Claymation love this year and I’m 100% for it. Now if they can just bring back the Claymation Christmas I will be the happiest Marcy ever! Bring the kiddos to the TV, make them watch it and explain just how much effort it took to bring that awesome to the screen.  
  • Beauty and the Beast LIVE – will air on ABC Dec. 15th .. and god love them no matter how bad these have been over the years they keep trying. Eventually they will get one of these right maybe it will be this one.  
  • Hanukkah on Rye airs on Hallmark on the 18th … which is the only Hanukkah movie on my calendar and it makes me sad that is a thing. I mean 8 Crazy Nights should air yearly but alas I can’t find it.  

Another programing note …. unlike Halloween where they are just all over the map with the order, Christmas specials tend to keep the flow going, so if they were say … showing The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2 and the Santa Clause 3 back to back on the same channel I didn’t list all 3 cause well A. Space is limited, B. If you want to watch one you’ll likely watch them from the beginning and C did you not read about having limited space to make this happen!? I mean if you don’t have an afternoon to devote to it then well just walk away, be a quitter … see if I care. I do… I care a lot … cause Tenderheart tells me I need to. That’s right I worked a Care Bears reference into this year’s calendar and if that’s not a Win… then what is. *does Happy Dance in my chair!* 

Digital Media is taking over and I’m no longer going to fight it … No, before you get all excited, I’m also not dropping it into my calendar, but I do admit that it is the week of Thanksgiving and I have watched A Christmas Story Christmas at least 3 times and loved every single second of it each and everytime I watched it. So, if you are interested in what’s happening in your various streaming services check out the links below. I admit I am proud to see all the original programing that’s dropping on the various streaming services and sad that networks don’t have enough faith in them to show them “offline.”  

New Christmas Movies to Stream: A Holiday 2020 Streaming Guide | Den of Geek 

New Christmas Movies in 2022 and Where to Watch Them (people.com) 

90+ Christmas movies to stream for holidays on Netflix, Hulu, more (usatoday.com) 

Where to Stream the Best Christmas Movies of All Time (2022) – The Streamable 

So go get your digital on and you won’t hear from me how the medium is killing the holiday special for cable providers and how Apple TV has already claimed Charlie Brown as theirs and how you can’t watch Mickey’s Christmas Carol without a Disney+ account or how Ralphie’s new special is only on HBO MAX  but yeah you go ahead stream to your hearts content and sit back and enjoy. It’s fine …. No really … go ahead it’s fine. Seriously why are you still reading this … go watch your programming … and Merry Christmas have a wonderful New Year and here’s to an even better 2023 for us all!  



Have a wonderful and safe holiday season so we can do this again next year!  


If you can't save the image above hit me up on twitter @beaslma and i'll send you the PDF/JPEG combo. 

Marcy  

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