Hollywood Remakes …… I get it now

So I haven’t seen Aladdin with Will Smith, nor have I seen the new “live action” Lion King, nor did I participate in Michael Bay’s destruction of the Ninja Turtles (Golden did tho) and Transformers but I have decided that I get it now. Don’t get me wrong, don’t hit me with all the hate mail in my DMs or on my twitter feed, I still find them to be somewhat unnecessary but … I get it now. Often if it’s well done or done in a new way it can be successful.  

We are half way through 2019 and so far we have had The Lion King, Child’s Play, Mary Poppins, Aladdin, Pet Sematary, Shaft and Dumbo off the top of my head. I’m sure there are more that didn’t even hit my radar and those are just movies, don’t get me started on the fact that they are starting to do this in the TV world too – looking at you Voltron, DuckTales, ThunderCats, TMNT, Rainbow Brite etc. What really drives me insane about these is when it's literally a shot by shot remake with very little new content or insight into the characters. That seems a waste of everyone's time. A few years ago we had Beauty and The Beast which was basically just that. It's a great movie don't get me wrong I love Emma Watson but yeah there was nothing ... new or interesting about it. At least to me.   

I used to think Hollywood was either out of ides or scared to take a gamble on a new idea. I still kind of think that but I also understand it’s a business. Sure they could fund a brand new idea that “might” make money if they get the right cast that they will have to sell on the idea or they can go with a sure fire hit that can get a boost out of an “all star cast” that might jump on board from the get. They get to entertain and know they are going to make money right out of the gate. Plus costumes are already designed, they just need to be created, same for sets. They already know what they are going to need and create cause it's already been created they jsut have to reproduce it, maybe adjust colors but stay in the same part of the color wheel. It’s a no brainer for them. A brand new idea comes with ….. the unknown element… what is going to be the competition when it is released ? Whose going to be the draw that gets people into a theater? What happens if it doesn’t catch fire out of the gate ? Can it have a good 2nd weekend showing ? How do you get the media to pay attention to it without that large star draw feeling like they are on the only one selling it  ….. why put yourself through that stress if one doesn’t have to?! 

They have been doing this for years on the horror front .... Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House on Haunted Hill, House of Wax, etc., and those don't give people anxiety nearly as much as a new Ariel. Granted you will have the people that stay away cause they are so in love with the original but the odds are that’s not their target audience. They will also have people that are excited and fill the seats with high anticipation only to be disappointed. However what studios are going for is introducing NEW PEOPLE to these characters, to these stories.

A few weeks ago our church had our Vacation Bible School and the theme was “To Mars and Beyond” and I took that to heart. I have several “space themed” shirts and bought a few others to round out the week. For one of the days I wore my beloved Astrosmurf Tshirt, he is one of my all time favorite Smurfs behind Handy, afterall. 

One of the kids said I like your shirt. I said thank you do you know his name. He said I don’t know space smurf with a shrug like this conversation had lasted way longer than he intended for it to already. I said no … Astrosmurf. crickets….. I continued do you know his story? More crickets and a few odd stares. A couple of the parent helpers were trying to figure out how I was going to wind this back to Jesus but this was important I needed the kids to know this. So I told them that it was a comic written by an artist named Peyo about a Smurf whose biggest dream was to visit the stars. He tries his hardest to build a Rocketship and is devastated when it doesn’t work. I said Astrosmurf lacked the fundamentals of engineering to make his ship fly. So Papa Smurf got all the Smurf’s (who had been laughing and making fun of Astrosmurf) together to come up with a plan to make Astrosmurf think he went to outer space. 

To which a kid replied so they lied to him to make him feel better. I said no they showed their love for Astrosmurf by letting him live out his dream. Ok fine he didn’t really go into space but he doesn’t know that. The point was that while they all thought his dream was silly they made his dream come true. Another kid replied that was dumb how does someone not know they were on another planet. I said have you ever visited another planet? He said no I said then shut up Astrosmurf hadn’t either (it is amazing they let me talk to these kids at all really) so he didn’t know it would be different besides he had his helmet on the whole time.  Then a different kid said um… the Smurfs is a move not a comic and there was no Astrowhat’s-his-face. I said no it was a comic strip and there were several of them before it became a cartoon back in the 80’s and has recently been turned into a movie starring Neil Patrick Harris for some reason. Plus there is an entire village do you think you met them all? They proceeded to tell me that it wasn’t a comic. I said yes it was and I’ll prove it tomorrow. I don’t have it with me but I have the comics at my house. 

Yes…incase you are wondering....  I was arguing with like 7-10 year olds during VBS about the Smurfs during what was supposed to be bible story telling time before we got into a science experiment. Later that night I was driving home thinking about those kids and how sad that they lived in a world without smurf comics when it hit me that they LIVED IN A WORLD WHERE SMURF COMICS DIDN’T EXIST. Like no one in their life had ever led them down that path to Smurfiness with comic strips. Then I decided they likely hadn't watched the cartoon either. So the next day I walk in with my comic versions of the Smurfs and I swear I saw a few kids roll eyes like not this again. Granted the books I took were remakes of the comics that came out in conjunction with the movie cause my beloved 80’s cartoon versions fell apart along time ago after years of love and reading. However I needed them to have this as part of their world. Isn’t that after all what VBS was about ha! One kid asked if he could have the book and as generous as I am I told him no that they were awfully hard to find and I couldn’t part with it. I guess looking back I should have given him the comic but I’m selfish that way sometimes. 

The point is that as awful as a remake can sometimes be often it opens up these new generations to these characters. My oldest nephew when nuts about the Care Bears coming back out when he was little cause I would get so excited and it was something we could do together. They introduced all these new Care Bears that I couldn’t wrap my head around and my brother was like dude chill they aren’t “wrong” they are just new you are lucky I let him play with them at all relax. Sure I’d have shown him the cartoons from my childhood but it likely wouldn't have kept his attention. However after being introduced to them on his own he was interested in learning more and I was able to open up his world to the Care Bears that I knew and loved.

So before getting online to bash a remake, give it a chance, or just sit there and be quiet. It wasn’t made for you it was made for the new generation. If you must then introduce them to what you grew up with but don't get your feelings hurt when they say it's lame. Cause they likely will. I myself am a little bummed my nephew who loved Dora as a wee one has far out grown her cause I think that movie will be funny and I'd like to see it. Let them enjoy their moment their introduction to the “fandom” unless Optimus Prime has flames cause that’s never going to be ok. 

Fuck you Michael Bay. All …damn…day.

Are there any of these movies I should rush out and watch now that might change my mind ?


Marcy 
@beaslma