Sunday, October 1, 2017

2017 Halloween TV Calendar

I’m not gonna lie, this one was hard ya’ll. I mean where is Michael Myers? Where’s Freddy? Carrie finally showed up but only a few times? Where’s Regan? Heck with the rebirth of Pennywise I figured he’d be everywhere but no … then again they have been showing his original movie for over a month. Thank goodness for SYFY who seems to understand the importance of an October that has a FRIDAY THE 13TH even if they are showing Friday the 13th Marathon on the 9th…cause that totally makes sense. I’m very disappointed. That’s not to say the Calendar doesn’t have some good ones but I miss my old friends and hope they come back soon.

The calendar is below in JPEG format set up for 11X17 format but it is readable on 8.5X11 if that’s all you have, don’t feel bad printer it’s not your fault. If you want a PDF hit me up on twitter (DM) with your e-mail and I'll send you one or download it from the link below :


I have found in recent years saving the PDF to my phone has been the best way to check the calendar on the fly, but saving it as a JPEG works too if you phone won’t open a PDF (seriously get a new phone, I mean my Windows Phone can do it why can’t yours!?).

UPDATE !!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!!!

The classic animated Halloween-themed PEANUTS special, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” created by late cartoonist Charles M. Schulz will air THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19 (8:00–8:30 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network. The program will air with Spanish audio via SAP. (Rebroadcast. ABC OAD: 10/30/01)

UPDATE !!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!!!

As always … a few guidelines… that none of you will read and I’ll have to have these conversations several times over the next few days…then again … I have to include them so my argument of “Dude I gave you the rules!” will hold true:

·       I live in the central time zone, the times on this calendar reflect that, adjust accordingly for those of that have traveled far and wide.

·       Unless otherwise stated the times are PM
o    Also the times may vary (my Tivo could be wrong, the website could be wrong, I might have screwed up the conversation from Eastern/Central time zone cause numbers are not my friend and a really awesome song was on) the point is … don’t call cause you missed The Addams Family and now Stephanie is sad.
o    Suck it up and look up the next showing on your own and if you can’t find it tell Stephanie sometimes life sucks, or go to the God of retail and order the darn thing if it’s that important for Stephanie, I mean Christmas is right around the corner.

·       This calendar reflects the channels I get. There’s no Netflix on here no online crap cause yeah I don’t do that.
1.    That’s right people it’s all about me not you I’m just sharing the wealth!
1.    You are welcome!
o    Feel free to make your own calendar, which if you don’t share with the world around you .. then you are just the worst.
1.    Seriously tho.. Love ya!
o    Fine…. Here’s some links to the Halloween awesome that will be appearing on Netflix if you simply must be involved in that kind of thing.




·       This calendar contains shows I want to see, so it includes a mixture of adult themed shows/movies and kid themed shows/movies, cause let’s face it I’m basically a little person in a big person body.
o    PLEASE be mindful of what is on before you sit the kids down with popcorn to watch Michael Myers in Halloween (seriously where is he? Isn’t anyone else worried about the cute little clown?)
o    Again the point is … don’t call me cause Timmy watched Krampus and can’t sleep because that movie is seriously messed up on so many levels but in a really great way… that’s your mess not mine.
1.    Seriously don’t call, Timmy or Stephanie are not my mess I didn’t birth them but can totally take care of them for you… *wink *wink….
1.    My lawyers have informed me that I can’t threaten your kid like that… I tried to explained I wasn’t threatening the kid. He sighed and walked away, not sure if I still have to pay him or not. Should I set up a go fund me?! Isn’t that what people do now?!

·       In case you are living under a rock, ABC Family is now FreeForm, tho I’m not sure why. So when you check out the calendar and don’t see the 13 Nights of Halloween .. it is there it’s just under the Freeform name. (I still don’t know if it’s one word or two).
o    NOTE: there are several channels like Freeform (seriously 1 word or 2?), TCM, AMC, SYFY, FX, etc., who show round the clock shows this time of year.
1.    Due to space limitations I picked the ones I want to see, and figure if you are watching those you will learn about sequels coming on next so again check listings in and around shows as there’s far more on than what made the calendar this year.

I am sad to report that there are several classics that haven’t made the calendar, but not because they aren’t loved. From Beetlejuice, to Gremlins, to It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown etc., their showtimes aren’t posted yet. I’m sure they are showing it, I mean why wouldn’t they? The sites are more concerned about their fall lineups than my Halloween calendar which frankly is just rude! Heck even AMC was like hey we have the Walking Dead, and Fear the Walking Dead, and Talking About the Walking Dead, (I mean really take an idea and run it into the ground why don’t you) what more do you need and the internet was all we need FEAR FEST! So the AMC Gods replied, ok fine it’s happening but here’s a limited line up for it cause did you hear Walking Dead is back!!!!! … Sigh … All of this is to say PLEASE watch out additional programing to pop up throughout the month, as some of them are just too much fun to miss.

A few programs of note:

·       Halloween Wars is back on Food Network starting Oct. 1st with a “Road to Halloween Wars” special followed by the premier of the new season. This as you all know by now is a 4 part completion series where teams of pumpkin carvers, cake decorators, and candy makers try to prove they are the best. Each episode, airing on Sunday nights (and repeating on weekends), have a different theme with a team going home every week until there’s a final winner at the end of the month. Check it out every Sunday night! It’s awesome! :D

·       Michael Jackson’s Halloween will air on Oct. 27th at 7 on CBS, cause that makes sense. It’s an animated special that will happens to coincide with a new “Halloween compilation album” by the man himself titled “SCREAM” featuring hits like Thriller. It’s animated, it’s got good music … it’s new … I’m in.

·       SpongeBob SquarePants: Legend of Boo-Kini Bottom will air on Oct. 13th at 6 on Nickelodeon. Spongebob is always good for some laughs, or groans. Either way enjoy.

·       Fox is showing the 28th Simpson’s Treehouse of Horrors on Sunday Oct. 22nd  Rumor has it Maggie is going to have an exorcism, and Mario Batali will eat Homer, oh I hope he’s wearing his Crocs.  So check that out then turn over to Food Network for Halloween Wars, seriously I live for Halloween Wars!  

·       AMC is doing FEAR FEST again but I fear it is only because they have to which makes me sad. The line up is very lame and its only from Oct. 23rd through Oct. 31st. Which is  just so unfair. Stupid AMC. We get it … walking dead is taking over your channel … it doesn’t have to be this way we can stage an intervention …. Just reach out. Tell Chris Hardwick to blink 3 times fast and we’ll come running. Also can I add that their new website makes my head hurt like so much.

·       SYFY is also celebrating 31 days of Halloween starting Oct. 1st showing great “cult” horror movies and science fiction awesomeness which includes original movies and classics. SYFY has saved my calendar this year and for that I’m grateful.

·       FreeForm (Formerly ABC Family) is once again celebrating the 13 Nights of Halloween starting October 19th with lots of fun animation and family friendly movies and Halloween themed shows for the Stephanie’s and Timmy’s of the world who can’t handle the adult goodness that this holiday offers.  

·       Turner Classic Movies is enjoying Halloween this summer with theme nights every Friday including 20’s Horror, Horror Comedies, Evil Scientists/Doctors, and Universal Horrors. It’s always good for some old school black and white fun, like Little Shop of Horrors, The Monster, Carnival of Souls … you know that kind of thing.  I believe this years theme appears to be Dracula cause you know crazy Ted has to have a theme.

·       Hallmark finally decided to not bypass Halloween all together and realized there was a market for it, even if they are surrounded by Christmas shows (which did NOT make the calendar—that’s another calendar that Hallmark is already trying to take over). I’ll admit Hallmark is more “love of fall” than love of gore and awesome but some of them look worth a shot but I still say you take a hallmark script, change out the character names, maybe a different little Upstate NY town, add a love crazed girl and a down to earth fella who meet at exactly the wrong time until oh woe is me they are in love right as the credits are ready to run. We got us a movie ya’ll now here go make 27 more. They did bring back the Good Witch so I can’t complain too much about it.

This calendar does not focus on regular show “Halloween theme episodes” so no a Halloween themed Reba, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, or Roseanne won’t appear on this calendar. It’s more for movies and TV specials tho I admit Roseanne should be required viewing for TV writers tasked with writing a Halloween Themed episode. If you are home and one comes on definitely stop and watch it. FX/CMT/LOGO is all about the Roseanne, seriously you’ll thank me.

The intention of this calendar, much like the Christmas one is to get your family to pause and spend some time together making memories. Maybe carve a pumpkin while watching, create some fantastic Halloween Treats from your various Social Media sites, or work on your costume – don’t forget the props - and RELAX with your family. I loved watching the Garfield Halloween special as a kid, and am sad that it no longer comes on. That’s the other reason for this calendar, if we stop watching they will stop showing it. I present the opening paragraph of this e-mail as exhibit A. So just because you have the Great Pumpkin on a shelf, take the time to watch it with your family when it FINALLY airs on ABC. SERIOUSLY WATCH HALLOWEEN WARS that show simply can’t go away … I won’t have it!!!



So sit back, scare yourself, and have a GREAT Halloween! It’s fall people enjoy it!

Marcy


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