Blog Challenge - When I Feel Frustrated ...

So the other day I climbed on my soap box and talked about how we needed to elevate the level of discourse on Social Media. I’ve been thinking about how I can do that, knowing I won't solve it on my own but at least I'll know I'm trying. I can’t do that with a non-existent blog so if I’m going to have this thing ... I’m going to use it. Well I’m going to make more of an effort to use it.

For me, the biggest issue with this blog is I don’t know what to write. Bitching about work seems like a waste cause this is suppose to be a break from work stress, plus who the hell wants to read that? They have their own work stress and also need a break from it so they see that and say yeah i'm done with that and click away. Talking about TV seems to also be a waste of everyone’s time cause if you want to see what I’m watching you could just follow me on twitter (@beaslma). I’ve written several posts about music and don’t worry those will continue, but for now I’ve decided to take a different route. I found this site run by Chris Brogan who posted “100 blog topics I hope you write” and I’ve decided to take up his call to arms--keyboard ?

The first one I’ve decided to tackle is #47 (cause anyone can start at the top or the bottom) When I Feel Frustrated! So here goes ……

Now notice Mr. Brogan didn’t tell us is what you are supposed to write about frustration, and I guess that’s where I come in. I mean I guess I have to bring something to the table huh? There’s no free ride in this game. I’ve decided to take frustrated at face value and talk about WHAT makes me frustrated and how I deal with it, or in most cases don't "deal" with it.

My major source of frustration is work mostly because it is typically a result of someone else doing something that affects my ability to do my job and feeling like it's something I have zero control of. It's majorly frustrating knowing there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I can preplan, I can prepare, I can create a schedule, but if any of the guys I work with ignore it, or don’t follow it I end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off and people think I didn’t do MY job. Well people at work know me well enough to know that’s not the case, but that’s the way I feel. I’m so nuts about it I’ve even built what I call “BS time” into my job cause I know at some point during my process I’m going to be spinning my wheels or waiting on someone to do their part so I can do mine.

It’s why I’ve never liked it when the teacher assigned a group project. I’d rather do it myself than rely on other people to help me, however the real world is all about working as a team or group. I’m not good at that, but that’s mostly because I don’t trust people to do it was well as me, or to do it at all. Giving away a piece of a part of my job just seems to always make the process harder. Not only do I feel the need to explain it, but I also have anxiety in wondering if they are doing it, how they are doing it, what it will look like, and if I’m going to have time to redo it when they finally send it to me.

All of that being said … what really frustrates me the most is HOW I deal with my frustrations. I get angry, I grit my teeth,  I hit myself in the head cause I can't hit them, I get snippy with people, I get tunnel vision, I just need to finish my task and move on. I need everyone to get the haties out of my way and let me do it. I’ll admit I’ve been known to throw things and cuss other things. I know all that does is raise my blood pressure, I know it isn’t professional, and when I throw things I just have to go and pick them up which irritates me even more.

So what I have learned through this process…. How I deal with frustration is not healthy, and after typing it out I hope that the next time I’m in a frustrating situation I’ll take a deep breath, look around, and deal with my frustration in a productive way, but the truth is I likely won’t. I know me and I also know that part of my frustration is a pride in doing something the right way and when I’m forced to half ass something I get frustrated not because of anything I can control but because it seems like a giant waste of my efforts. You’d think the part of my brain that gives into frustration would hook up with the part of my brain who realizes that the way I deal with frustration is not productive. However apparently they aren’t friends.

Frustration always wins. Stupid frustration.

Thanks Chris Brogan for the inspiration and I’ll be using your site for posts in the future cause you have some great ideas there and I thank you for that cause that’s half the blog battle.

-Marcy (@beaslma)