Random Thoughts

So it’s been a while since I posted and it’s not that I haven’t been thinking of you guys or wanting to post but it’s just …. I have so many things I want to write about that all of it ends up a jumbled mess in my head … this happens on occasion and I have decided it’s time for another random thought’s post so that I can think like a normal human being again.

Adulting

I’ve talked a few times on this blog about being an adult and how I try so very hard to not be an adult however I am one. I went on vacation last week to the beach. On my way home from the office on my last day of work before my trip I stopped at the local liquor store to buy supplies. Upon getting home some 4 days later I was unpacking to realize I NEVER OPENED MY SUPPLIES. However that didn’t bother me as much as it hit me that I didn’t even think about opening my supplies. Like really? That bottle is still in the brown paper sack I took it home from the store in. That’s messed up on so many levels. If that weren’t enough, tomorrow we get a new employee and my boss will be at another office so I get the job of showing her around the office, getting her hooked up with HR, telling her what we do, and showing her where she can find things. Like I’m the 2^nd in command. Which I guess I was aware of but now it seems more official. That sounds like a job for a grown up …. Am I that person?! When did that happen? That sounds so …. Responsible.

DragonCon/Cosplay

So it is July …. You know what that means … it’s time for that all important decision …. To Cosplay or not Cosplay and why is that so hard for me? I always think of these ideas and then decide they are dumb or no one would get them or I’d never be able to do them justice so I decide not to do them. Then I get to DragonCon and boom there’s the costumes that I thought about or I’m reminded that everything is fair game at DragonCon. It is not uncommon to see amazing cosplay, as well as mediocre cosplay and blow your mind cosplay and it’s all ok. Last year I saw several Quail Man costumes, something I thought about then decided no one would remember or get it. This year I’m thinking about Daria from MTV days when you know MTV showed music and only a few other programs. I also thought about something that will allow me to use my new awesome chair Golden got me for my birthday/Christmas. I also thought about Jeanette Miller from the Chipmunks. I can totally pull that off nerdy girl who loves books.  However I know me, I’ll make all these plans, get up there and chicken out. I like to blend into the wall and in costume that’s not really what it’s about. Golden’s better at this Cosplay thing than I am. She’s better at a lot of things than I am but I don’t want to give her a big head. Maybe as DragonCon nears I can get Golden back on this blog … what do you say @theonlygolden ?

Travel and fun with Friends

As part of my New Year’s Resolutions at the end of 2016 I wanted to travel more, and spend more time with friends. So far I’m making good on that promise. Earlier this year with my friend Christina and I made the trip to Auburn for the weekend and traveling with her is always an adventure and fun. Of course I went to Birmingham in May for Golden’s birthday and got to hang with her and Marible. I just returned from a trip to nearby Orange Beach to see Journey with my friend Katie, at the end of Aug/Sep we will be going to DragonCon with Golden, in November I’m also going to Disney with Golden, and today I added to my itinerary with a tip to Nashville in October with my friend Christina to see Ed Sheeran for whom I've gone straight stupid for. I’m super excited about this trip. It’s been a while since I went to a full on concert in an arena and we have awesome seats. I am fighting my fear of the world by going out and about and putting myself into situations that normally make me nervous and scared. I have decided we are all going to die someday, I might as well be happy while I’m here and not have regrets, well not have a lot of regrets anyway. Besides fear of the unknown is no fun ... right. Now I just need to work on the writing thing.

Prayers for this nation and yes even this President

I’ve thought on several occasions about writing an open letter to our current sitting President but know he’d never see it, even if someone could read it to him, so I think it’s a giant waste of my time. However, every time his orange ass is on my TV or in an article I’m reading I am once again reminded of the point of letter. For full disclosure, I didn’t vote for him, I don’t care for him, but he’s what I have ended up with. That being said I need him to succeed and before you all grab the pitch forks and for a riot let me explain. If he can pull this off then the idea that anyone can be president lives on. Granted that person has to have money and there are limitations on who can and can’t be president but if he tanks it, and it looks like he’s going too, then for the rest of our lives anytime someone “outside of the box” runs for office they will point to his big orange ass to explain why that’s a bad idea. It’s not a Republican VS Democrat thing it’s a human vs human thing. Let me also add that I trust Trump far more than Pence and if the powers that be that are trying to impeach Trump win then we end up with Pence and I’m not sure that’s a world I want to live in. So I need everyone to relax and let’s see what this dumbass can accomplish before you know he nukes us all into non-existence.

Social Media/Elevation of the current rhetoric  
As some of you may or may not know during Lent this past year I gave up social media in general. No twitter, no facebook, no Instagram, no notifications, all I kept going was e-mail. It was everything I dreamed that it could be. It’s been about 4 months and part of me wants to go back. I purged a lot of my “follow” list when I got back on all my social media platforms and I definitely don’t use it like I did before the “break” but there are days where it’s still too much bullshitting and this person bitching about this and that person bitching about that and these guys over here wanting to bitch about something else and the others complaining that no one gives a shit about what they want to bitch about. Here’s the thing… it’s a giant world out there and we are all allowed to have different opinions the issue is when we completely dismiss the difference of opinion simply because it’s not mine. That being said the way we dismiss one another also upsets me. While in college I took a Rhetoric class and I remember telling the teacher that I thought people were being too sensitive about it, sometimes a writer talking about a dog is just that a dog. I want to go an apologize to that teacher now. I’m witnessing it first hand on a daily basis. it’s not that we have intelligent arguments that could sway the person being talked to, no that might make too much sense. Instead we use juvenile name calling and hastags to belittle and attack one another and then those same people bitch because our President is doing the same thing on a daily basis. Our children are watching people, well not my children cause I don’t have any but my nephews for sure. They see us acting like childish bullies on the internet and then we wonder why they are doing the same. Let’s elevate the conversation or not have it at all. It starts with us and Social Media is key to this change.  

I’m sure there are more but for now this is enough …. Thank you for letting me have my brain back.

Marcy

@beaslma

VBS + work = exhaustion

Last week was awesome, fun, tiring, and uplifting. It ended with a 14 hour work day that lasted long into the night but it was well worth it … at least that is what I keep telling my exhausted mind/body.

See last week my church had Vacation Bible School. It was not only my first time experiencing VBS at my new church but it was also the first time I led something at my new church. Future Note to Self: don’t dive in with both feet, sit back, help out but don’t lead that’s how the pressure gets to you.

That’s not to say it wasn’t a GREAT week and the kids seemed to really enjoy it but the unknown of it almost did me in before we started. See this church uses a VBS kit which comes with ideas for Music, Crafts, Science, Bible Study, and themes for the week. We decided on Super Heroes for Christ which was right up my alley. Finally those DragonCon Tshirts were going to be put to use during the week not just on weekends as I run errands.

When flipping through the pack I thought Science sounds cool. Another lady in the church said she’d help me with it, I was like score let’s do it. Then life happened. Each group (3 varying age groups for the kids, 1-5, 6-8, 8-10 or something like that – the piece of paper is on the other side of the planet and I’m being lazy (AKA it’s it in the other room) had a “leader” and 2 helpers in which one of the helpers was a youth (aka too old for VBS but still wants to participate, but not quite old enough to be a leader). We ended up being short 2 leaders so I lost my original helper. I was assigned a new helper and she was …. Great … when she was there. Night 1 she brought her husband and a dice game that she was more interested in than helping (tho in her defense she didn't have a lot to help with (more on that in a minute), then night 2 when I really could have used her help she was sick, and night 3 she was very helpful, then night 4 she had bingo and didn't come, tho she had told me earlier in the week that would be the case. So at least there was that.

Our VBS was 4 days long, with the last day a “pizza party” in which the parents got to see all that the kids did during the week. This meant I needed 3 days of activities. This being my first time I decided on one experiment a night that I could really practice and know how to do for all age groups. This would be mistake #1. Future Note to Self: Next year think about the age group you will be doing the experiment with and then adjust accordingly.  

Let’s start at the beginning shall we. I knew VBS was coming, I had a plan, I checked in with the VBS leaders to make sure it was a good plan and they all agreed that it was. I kept asking how many kids do I need to plan for, they kept saying the year before they had over 30. I was like um…ok….how does that work with each group, which is my largest one? How long do I have to entertain them? What happens if they start to get on my nerves? What happens if I ruin these kids for life? What if they hate me? What if they won't listen to me? What if they listen to closely and the adult in me says something only adults should hear? I worried that they wouldn’t be interested at all or that they would be too interested and ask questions I couldn't answer. My church had never done Science before as part of Bible School so really no one knew what to expect so not much advice for me. Could I deliver?

I was pretty sure I drove them all insane ... but I was scared ..... mostly of the unknown, I kept telling myself I’d be fine after night one. Frankly, I was doubting myself and part of me was hoping I’d break a leg, get in a wreck, and would get out of it all together. I think I scared the preacher cause he kept checking on me between groups, he could tell I was nervous, he could tell I was freaked out, but he kept telling me I’d do great...relax.... which was oh so helpful. Don't tell someone having a panic attack to calm down that's not helpful at all and I was most definitely in panic attack mode on several occasions. To his credit he did spend a lot of time in my room on day 1 but I think that was more moral support than fear I’d screw up one of the kids. At least that’s my hope. I think he really likes me, I hope so cause I think he and his family are fantastic. I’m really glad I found this church, and I think they are glad I found them too, which is nice.

So the Friday before VBS started on Monday I ran around town in a downpour buying my supplies, horrible rain would be a theme of the week I would learn. At one point there was talk of cancelling VBS for fear no one would come in the monsoon that settled over the City that week but they came, Gosh love them they came every night. A lot of what I needed I already had at the house, that was by design as Marcy’s funds are low and I didn’t want to beg the church for money cause I wanted their money to go to the other groups. This being their first time with Science I didn't want to take away from what they normally do for this new thing. On that particular Friday I was also assigned a submittal that would have to completed in less than a week with a PM who is notorious for not completing things in a timely manner. Add to that another submittal (that goes in this Tuesday) which I hadn’t really started yet, because of a different submittal/PM not deciding what he wanted yet, and it was shaping up to be a really stressful week that would start before 6am and end after 9pm with no lunch break which has made for a zombiefied Marcy this past weekend. That being said I did go to lunch one day, well actually my friend forced me to have hearing that I hadn't eaten anything but popcorn for 3 days.

So Monday came, and I was physically ready, mentally was another can of worms. I had a plan I just had to execute it. I left work about 4 because they wanted everyone there early for registration and to make last minute plans. I had told my boss about this and he was A. shocked a science class was going to be taught at a church function, he even asked if it was legal. I said I think so. B. when I actually got up and left at 4 with no prompting from him he was shocked. He was pretty sure he was going to have to kick me out of the office. He said he was proud of me. ha!

Monday – activity SINKING SODA - Did the can sink or float? Why!?

Bible Study 1 Samuel 16:1-12

In our Bible Story, God told Samuel “Humans see only what is visible to the eyes, but the Lord sees into the heart”

This experiment tackled the idea that while they look exactly the same they reacted differently when put in the same situation. That they would prejudge these soda cans and be shocked by how they acted in the water because it didn’t do what they expected. Basically, don’t judge a book by its cover. I liked this idea. The idea that they need to look into the persons heart not solely base things on outward appearances. In this day and age and with these grade groups this can not be restated nearly enough.

Why I chose this ….. frankly I wanted something I could control. I wanted something that if we were running out of time I could just end, I wanted something that was easy for night one. This would be mistake #2. Future Note to Self: Easy is not always the best option. The biggest problem with this experiment was that it just didn’t take up enough time. Not even a little. I mean come on Marcy you are dropping cans in a big bucket what did you expect. My group ended early which threw everyone else into a tail spin cause then kids were in the hallway making noise distracting the kids who were still in class. I felt awful, I felt I had let everyone down. (which may have been the other reason the Preacher spent most of night one assuring me that everything was going great). I also didn’t buy the right cans. I had a good variety, but I should have bought better. All floated except one, the coke. I should have had a better variety which might have sparked more conversation. After a while they all guessed that they would float cause ... well.... they all floated.. and these kids weren't stupid.......... argh....... Stupid…stupid…stupid (bangs head on wall in frustration). Lastly most of the kids were more interested in if I would give them the sodas or dropping the cans into the bucket, and splashing the water than they were in why they floated or sunk. It got away from me really quick. I am not going to lie, especially with the little kids who discovered early that If they dropped all the cans in they could almost overflow the bucket. It was a tough night 1 yall. I’m not going to lie.

Here’s the experiment if you are interested ….

Tuesday – activity Balancing Hex Nuts – the power of magnets

Bible Study 1 Samuel 25

In our Bible Story, Abigail became a hero by using her courage and inner strength

Why I chose this ….. cause I thought it was cool. Basically you have to balance hex nuts on the edge of a cup. Something I showed the kids the night before and none of them believed they would be able to do it. I was determined they would all be able to do it. Group 1 realized they could stack the hex nuts on the magnets then place the entire contraption on the cans (which were reused from Night 1) and move them down to the cup. I thought these kids are geniuses. It never dawned on me to flip it over. Then they also flipped over the cup. So instead of balancing it on the edge of the cup with a large margin of error they had a large flat surface to deal with. Again brilliant. I’ll never forget when a kid who struggled with it was finally able to do it and was jumping up and down so excited and I high fived him for a job well done and for not giving up. Ironically the little kids did the best with this but of course they required the most hand holding. The older kids quickly turned the magnets into cars and could care less about balancing anything. I just let them do their thing, they had a ball and I relaxed and talked with the other adults for a bit. Ironically the older kids did the exact same thing the preacher did when I first handed him the magnets. It was kind of funny.

Here’s the experiment if you are interested ….

Wednesday – activity making their own Silly Putty  

Bible Study James 1:5

Believer asks God for wisdom and understanding about daily decisions. There is one requirement for this help however, the request must be made with no wavering or doubt as a doubter isn’t sure whether God hears him or if God even understands his problem. Such a man is double minded; he attempts to divide his trust between God and himself.

Why I chose this ….. cause I thought it was cool and I also wanted the kids to have something they could take home to remember the week by. I spent the week hyping this up, on Tuesday night after getting home from VBS I decided to try out my plan, thank GOD for this. My plan sucked. It didn’t work at all it was beyond awful. I was super stressed. I had 6 hours to come up with plan B. I wanted something that would allow me to use as much of what I already had so panic was really setting in. I felt unprepared and angry with myself. Then I found a video online that saved me. See the original plan called for Corn-starch and water. However I wasn’t aware there was this thing called “liquid starch” which is apparently what I needed not powder starch which is what I had. Powder starch and water creates a hard rock that when you are moving it around is fine the second you stop it immediately goes back to a liquid, incase you are interested. I have a Walmart that opens at 6am. I was there when they opened the doors buying the DAWN that was going to save my life. I bought two giant bottles and another thing of corn starch just incase. I then went to work and stressed about it all day long, I was like ok this is it...last night and I'm going to fail and make a fool of myself. I left the office at 4 went right to the church and tried the new recipe. This one required faith on the part of the kids cause there was no real recipe to follow. It depended on how much corn starch you added vs how much soap was added and how fast the kid was stirring. So huge margin of error. This too went sideways very quickly, especially with the little kids. They made a HUGE mess, there was cornstarch everywhere and of course we were in the middle of the worse week of rain in our little city all year and the bathrooms started overflowing so on a night when I really needed to get in there to wash little hands we were unable to. I ended up having to take them into the men's room which prompted lots of "what's that" questions when they came face to face with a urnial filled with gross looking water. In the end it all worked out and every kid took some putty home but the stress of this day will be with me for my entire life. I hate feeling unprepared and I was definitely not prepared for this but it was fun and all the kids seemed to really enjoy themselves.

Here’s the experiment we ended up doing, if you are interested …. This girl saved my life !

The one thing all week that I kept forgetting to do was the “bible study” part of everything, you know the REASON for VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL in the first place. I was so excited about getting to the activity that I often blew past the reason those kids were there … learning about Jesus and God. This would be mistake #3. Future Note to Self: Next time have the Bible Study first then do the experiment, cause doing it after never worked.  It was hard to get their attention back once we were in the activity, then before you know it the session is over and they are leaving. It was a disaster.

Mistake #4: Time management. The way the schedule worked out, I had a break between each group, which was nice. I wish I had used it better. To eat, to relax, to reset up for the next group, to clean but mostly to walk around to the other groups to see what they were doing. How they handled their classes, what they did to get the kids to pay attention, what they were doing in general etc., Future Note to Self: spend some time walking around to see what others are doing so you can do better for your group. Or so you can see if you were doing exactly what you were supposed to be doing. Peace of mind always results in relaxation moving forward.

At the end of the week they asked the kids what their favorite activity was and I was told Music always comes out on top, this year however they all yelled science. I wasn’t there to hear it as I was trying to clean up the giant mess of cornstarch left in our room, but it made my heart swell that they all felt that way. The man who runs the VBS program gave me a huge hug and thanked me for all I did. He said I can never leave now. Which made me feel really good.

So while it was a long stressful week it was a great week and I’m glad I helped out. I did end up having to work until 9:30 Friday and will also be at work 7am Monday morning but after Tuesday I hope to get back to a more normalized schedule. Zombiefied Marcy will have to last a few more days, I miss sleep, I used to enjoy it. I hope to do so again one day. Unlike Golden I am NOT a member of Team No Sleep. I am very much PRO-Sleep and if I were being honest I also like pants.

Anyway … that’s been my last week …. Hope you all have a fantastic week ahead.

HUGS

Marcy

Visiting Golden .. Missing Golden …. VBS

This time last week I had made the 4 hour drive (that I can make in 3 …. Beating my GPS estimated time is my favorite thing to do …. Just saying) to Golden’s house for the final part of the #MonthLongCelebrationofGolden a hang in person with one of my favorite people on this planet. One of the best parts of the trip was finally getting to meet my new fur-niece Mighty, whom I’m not convinced knows her name but is still pretty freaking adorable.

I mean really … look at her … how would you yell at her? Golden and I haven’t figured it out yet cause you tell her something and she looks at you like a little stuffed animal and suddenly you forget why you are angry …. That’s her super power.

Last Friday we met up with Marible and got some dinner, some adult beverages, and saw Guardian’s of the Galaxy Volume 2. I admit I enjoyed the 2^nd one better than the first but I don’t know that either are movies I want to watch over and over again. My favorite part is the beginning of the movie where Baby Groot (possibly a close 2^nd to the cutest thing on the planet – of course Mighty is #1 in that category) dances around without any care in the world while everyone tries to keep him from dying.

That’s actually in the first 10 minutes so there you go read into that what you want. Then we came back to Golden’s where Marible left her phone in my car which led to the stupidest moment of my life. I found Marible’s phone and immediately said “You need to call her and tell her we have her phone!” Golden looked at me and said… “Really?!” I was like, “yeah I don’t have her number!” she looks at me and says “think about this for a second….” I will not disclose how long it took me to understand why none of this made sense. It was funny that Golden then tweeted Marible to tell her we had the phone and we also called her dad. She eventually came back and we gave her the phone and the problem was solved but I felt like a major idiot. It was not my best moment.

Then on Saturday at the crack of dawn we got up for the Annual trip to the Birmingham Zoo. A Birthday tradition for Golden, one that I’m happy to be a part of even if it was crazy hot. We got to ride the train, see all the animals, spend time with the family, and have a nice relaxing day getting some exercise. It was a fun day, a LONG day but a fun one. I think we were both asleep by 9. We are not nearly as young as we used to be. Sunday we did a whole lot of nothing and it was everything I’ve ever dreamed that it  could be. We watched Dr. Strange, a movie I hadn’t seen before but wanted to. Then watched several episodes of Wynonna Earp which I liked by was really taken aback by  how careless she was with her “peacemaker” when it’s the one thing between her and well her being dead. I can see myself watching the upcoming season, I’ll need to watch the rest of last season but I think it’s one of those shows that I’d be ok if I didn’t get to watch the episodes I’ve missed.

On Monday we had breakfast with Golden’s parents before I headed south. Leaving is always hard not cause she and I don’t talk throughout the week but because I don’t get up there nearly as much as I should not to mention that drive home. While I can do it in 3 it’s still a lllooonnnngggg drive which eats up a good part of the day. Again, I ask ... where the hell is my portal to other places science … I mean seriously get on that … what are you even working on!!!!!

So that was my Memorial Day weekend …. It was a good weekend but this “short week” felt really long. Next on my agenda is getting ready for the Church’s Vacation Bible School in which yours truly will be leading the “science” section of the night. I’ll keep you posted as I start to prep for the 4 day event … I’ll admit I’m really nervious about it. I’ve participated in VBS before but never “led” a section of it. When we joined our new church I decided I was going to get more involved and so far that’s what I have done. I’m scared to death I’m going to make a fool out of myself. The theme however is “Super Heroes” so at least it’s an area I’m familiar with.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Marcy

ARE… YOU….READY?!

The #MonthlongCelerationofGolden starts tomorrow (May 1st). It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

I could explain to you why we do this but Golden did it perfectly when we first started this blog so why recreate the wheel …. Read her post here …

What I will tell you is why I celebrate it. I celebrate it because Golden deserves it. She’s a hard working, fun loving, amazing woman who has battled more demons than even she would admit to and is still fighting. When they told her you’ll have to retire by 30 she was like "nah … fuck that" and proved them wrong. Her body has fought her every step of the way, yet Golden just powers through it, with minimal complaining, but frankly for what she's going through the little bit of complaining is justified.

She’s literally the strongest person I know. I am proud to call her my friend, I am proud to be in her corner and I’m proud to spend a month celebrating all the awesome that is Golden. I've said it before and will say it again, I'm so happy that the AU Housing Board made us suitemates our Freshman year, many random things came together to make that happen and I'm forever grateful for those random situations.

My mother and her mother constantly tell me not to encourage her in this insanity but it’s not insane. It speaks to her personality and for once allows the spotlight to be on her, something she typically shy’s away from. I am making it my mission that this be the best month long celebration yet, cause let’s face it each one has to be better than the last right. Some of my friend’s get week long celebrations but Golden gets an entire month. From May 1^st through the 31^st (her actual B’day) it’s all about Golden !

Throughout the month I’m going to post some of Golden’s “best” blog posts as well as a few new ones of my own as part of this month long celebration cause if we aren’t going to use this blog to build one another up then what we are using it for?! Who knows maybe I’ll get her to come back to the keyboard for a post this month.

So join me won’t you as we celebrate this month by sending her tweets of love and encouragement. It doesn’t take much, a goofy picture that made you smile, which might make her smile; a note to just say hi; any acknowledgement really is what we are looking for so let’s get it going … and kick off Monday May 1^st the right way as we start the #MonthlongcelebrationofGolden     (could we have used a longer hashtag?!)

Thanks,

Marcy @beaslma

Golden @theonlygolden

Growing up different… not just for kids

Growing up different I was more than familiar to what bullying was. I think the things that surprised me most about the practice of bullying is that 1. Children...sweet, innocent, new to this world, fresh faced little cherub, light of our eyes children … are complete assholes; and 2. Bullys don't go away. They just grow up and become bullying adults.

Now that I am adult my “different” has increased ever more so and I find times that I am still getting bullied by both kids and adults. But fuck them, I learned to blow it off years ago….Bullshit. It still hurts. I've just learned to suppress it. But this response isn't about me. I work with mentally ill adults and since doing so have noticed the bullying trend not just from people on the outside of the spectrum making fun of the mentally ill, but that the Mentally ill themselves are starting to bully each other more frequently. They are looking for and finding differences amongst each other to create an imaginary platform to elevate some against others.

I've seen bullying between…

Mentally Ill and Intellectually deficit…

People who have put themselves in the Mental Health System vs. Court ordered to be here…

Court ordered violent offenders vs. Non-violent offenders…

Diagnosis vs Different diagnosis…

People born with their illness vs. those whose illness was caused by head trauma….

and it goes on and on and on. So...why? If we are all in the same place, if we are all dealing with the stigmatism of mental illness, if we have all been down into the worst of ourselves, how can we not recognize the human need to act as a collective and see ourselves and our struggle in others and raise up to offer support to those that have been there. So, based recently on an indecent at my work, I was asked to give a response to our residents about bullying. Afterword’s, as I went to delete the file, I decided to instead post it to this blog in the hopes that maybe it will help someone, out in the interwebs, where it is often hard for people to get away from bullying, who may need it. 

Always remember talk to someone if you are in need. I have included a few hotline numbers at the end of this post for quick reference. Never forget you unique, you are beautiful, you are loved.

-Golden

                                                                                                                  

Offering support

Response to bullying within the community

As we grow we find that life is often harder than we expected, especially when you live life with a form of mental illness. According to NAMI statistics, approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. (which is 43.8 million or 18.5%) experience a form of mental illness. There are a lot of us in the world, yet we still feel so alone.

Sometimes there is safety in numbers…

The positive thing about having so many experiencing some form of mental illness is that, even though we are all different and have different journeys, we can still offer support to each other. Everyone, at one point in time, knows what it feels like to suffer through their illness, and sometimes having someone just shake your hand or pat you on the back and tell you “you got this” can help.

Everyone of us walk a different path, even if you have the same diagnosis as someone else, your stories are not the same. There could be two people, twins, with the same diagnosis but show different symptoms and require different medications. Some people’s symptoms range from mild to severe and can often times vary within a few days. That can make daily life hard. That's why I try and talk to you about your medications so often. If your meds are not working for you, THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You won't get in trouble for something you can't help. Not all medications help everybody and can sometimes, even cause more side effects than they are worth.

A lot of people are afraid to talk to their doctor and admit that they are still experiencing/displaying symptoms of their illness. Instead of going through a med change. Why would you want to take something that doesn't work? Having your medications adjusted is not a failure.

I often hear people brag that they only have to take 2 pills while others take 18. If what you are taking is working and allowing you to be the best you possible, what does it matter if you are taking 5 pills instead of 2? Taking several medications does not make you a failure.

We are all here and we have all had to go through periods of adjustments, so if you see your friend, neighbor or roommate going through something, offer them the support you wish someone would have offered you when you needed it. Offer them the respect they deserve and the encouragement to stay strong.

Living with mental illness is a journey that can be hard but we don't have to make it hard on each other. And every one of us is a work in progress, just because you may need a little extra support doesn't mean that you are not going to be a great success, it just means that you have to make it through and when you do, you will know how to offer support to the next one in need.

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Bullys exist everywhere, not just in the Mental Illness community. If you need someone to talk to, to help you through times of doubt regardless of situation here are a few resources. Remember no matter how lonely you feel, YOU   ARE   NOT  ALONE!

§  Adolescent Suicide Hotline: 1-800-621-4000

§  Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling: 1-800-999-9999

§  AIDS National Hotline: 1-800-342-2437

§  CHADD – Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorders: 1-800-233-4050

§  Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD  (4-2-24453)

§  Cocaine Help line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)

§  Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

§  Drug & Alcohol Treatment Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

§  Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933

§  Eating Disorders: 1-888-236-1188

§  Family Violence Prevention Center: 1-800-313-1310

§  Gay & Lesbian National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

§  Gay & Lesbian Trevor HelpLine Suicide Prevention: 1-800-850-8078

§  Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111

§  Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)

§  Incest Awareness Foundation: 1-888-547-3222

§  National Center For Learning Disabilities: 1-888-575-7373

§  Missing & Exploited Children Hotline: 1-800-843-5678

§  National Allianceon Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

§  Panic Disorder Information Hotline: 1-800-64-PANIC (72642)

§  Post Abortion Trauma: 1-800-593-2273

§  Project Inform HIV/AIDS Treatment Hotline: 1-800-822-7422

§  Rape (People Against Rape): 1-800-877-7252

§  Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)

§  Runaway Hotline: 1-800-621-4000

§  Self Injury (Information only. This is not a crisis line, info/referrals only): 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288

§  Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

§  Sexual Abuse – Stop It Now!: 1-888-PREVENT (773-8368)

§  STD Hotline: 1-800–227-8922

§  Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

§  Suicide & Crisis Hotline:1-800-999-9999

§  Suicide Prevention – Trevor HelpLine (Specializing in Gay & Lesbian Youth) 1-800-850-8078

§  Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900

§  Victim Center: 1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)

§  Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663)

Golden @theonlygolden

Let's get social!

My self imposed Social Media Ban for Lent is nearing it’s end. This time next week I’ll be back online and back at it … maybe. I have to admit I’ve enjoyed this break. This unplugging experiment has done me so much good, that’s not to say I haven’t been busy. I have found some new music, watched my nephew get inducted into the Junior National Honor Society, got to help with an Easter Egg hunt, got to help my office with a City Park clean up event, and of course went to Auburn for a weekend. That’s not to say that it hasn’t been easy not sharing some of those things, not to mention my older nephew going to the Jr/Sr Prom with his super awesome girlfriend. I mean they looked great together and not seeing the pictures he, my sister-in-law, and brother posted in real time was tough. I had to remind them to e-mail them to me so I could see them, which meant I saw them 2 or 3 days after the fact. ☹ boooo hisss! 😊 I also didn’t get to participate in the season premiere of Blackdog Salvage on DIY something that I’ve really missed. I love chatting with those guys via Twitter as I watch the show. I’m very much looking forward to tweeting with them next week. I wonder if they have wondered where I am?! Join us! 😃

However, the main thing I have missed is Golden. Between our work schedules being exact opposites, her new furbaby Mighty taking over the house, and her cell phone coverage being shit I have missed conversing with her through twitter. We’ve texted a little bit but I understand Mighty isn’t a fan of Golden’s cell phone. Don’t worry Auntie Marcy will have a chat with Mighty first chance I get about how cell phones are friends not food. Because of all those things I’ve missed Golden and I think she has missed me too.

There have also been several times I’ve thought man I haven’t heard from so and so in a while and realized just how much we have come to rely on Social Media to stay in touch with our everyday people. Sure I’ve emailed more than I usually do but often those people don’t check their mail or like I used to would see the message pop up, read it and think I’ll reply later then never did. I’ve also missed talking to my twitter friends from a far and have wondered how they are doing but with lack of e-mail addresses for them I haven’t been able to get in touch with them. I wonder if they have even missed me ?

So while this “break” has been far easier than I’d have thought it would be I do miss the connectivity that social media gives me in my every day world as well as with the people who I’ve connected with that without Social Media I wouldn’t know at all. I often say that we have forgotten that this social media is supposed to be about being Social and I’m realizing just how much social goes into my media. I plan to keep that mantra in my mind as I re-log into all my accounts and keep the social going cause without it what’s the point. So join me won’t you as I get social again ….. let’s use this medium the way it was intended.

Have a fantastic week and if you celebrate it … HAPPY EASTER!!!!

Marcy

Falling into the Ed Sheeran rabbit hole

So…. In my self imposed Social Media Ban I have talked about my part in spreading negativity on the internet and my part in spreading positivity on the internet but in this one I’m going back to my roots a little bit. I am jumping on the bandwagon of an artist many have known about for years, looking at you Melissa, but whom I recently found thanks to a gift from a friend (looking at you Katie) so I'm waving the banner of this artist for people like me who thought they knew about him from the radio and had it just so badly wrong. 

So a few weeks ago I helped a friend, Katie, with something and in return she gave me an Itunes gift card. I’m kind of sick of everything I’ve been listening to lately so I decided to use this as an opportunity to find something new. I decided that the first thing I saw I was going to buy without even checking it out. The week that I was given the card was the same week that Ed Sheeran released ÷ (AKA Divide), something that wouldn't have normally hit my radar. When I 1st opened my Itunes store the first thing I saw was Ed Sheeran’s ÷ in the banner and I clicked on it to buy it before listening to a single track as was the deal I made with myself.  This deal ended up costing me way more money than the Itunes card was for.

For full disclosure I HATED Photograph by Ed Sheeran not because it was a bad song, not because it was a good song but because it was ALWAYS on the radio. Like literally every single time I’d flip around the dial (yes I’m that old to remember when there was a dial) this song was playing on at least 3 or 5 stations. I hate that. I always feel like when they do that they are trying too hard to get me to like someone and I rebel so hard it’s not even funny. I still don’t like the song, but now I can at least say I’ve given it a fair shake it’s just not my cup of tea. That being said after listening to ÷ I have jumped both feet in to the Ed Sheeran band wagon. The guy is brilliant. The way he puts a song together very much makes me think of my good buddy Eric Erdman, an artist who deserves so much more love than he gets. Their brains just see the world differently and my ears love every second of it. However Eric has to wait for another post this one is all about my falling into the Ed Sheeran rabbit hole.

To those new to this blog when I get a new album I have a rule; I push play then don’t touch anything until the last song plays. I want to hear the album as the artist/producers intended before I start jumping around to the tracks I really like. I have to admit that with ÷ I didn’t love every song right out of the gate, some I still don't. Actually on the first listen I was on track three thinking about track one and why it was called Eraser. It was quite challenging to move past actually and I still don’t fully understand it, but have decided to not overthink it and just ride with it since it’s a good song.

My favorite songs on ÷ include Happier, New Man, What Do I Know, Supermarket Flowers, and Nancy Mulligan. Tho I admit that Supermarket Flowers makes me cry … every.damn.time. It’s an ugly cry too … the picture he paints of his mom walking around her mother’s room essentially saying goodbye burrows into my head and a little mini movie plays that gives me all the feels creating tears at the same time as the goosebumps. I LOVE IT when that happens!!!!! Tho I'm sad for the circumstances that led to the song, I LOVE when a song does this to me.

There are some tracks I blow past now when they come on, but mostly because I can’t wait to get to other tracks. Like Galway Girl, I love the flow of the track but often find myself not really in the mood for it so I skip it. The first time I listened to New Man I thought dude who are you kidding, then realized I know nothing about this man so who was I kidding. Now it’s one of my favorites. Dive is the same way for me, sometimes I’m not in the mood for the slow soulful feel of the song but I like it and it’s the perfect song for work when I’m editing a document and need to focus. That’s not the case with Shape of You, or Perfect, if I never hear those again I’d be ok. Tho I did go on a trip with a friend and put Perfect on repeat during the night and slept like a baby which was nice, until the next day when it was like an ear worm that wouldn’t die.

As a self-professed Music Skitzo I love the mixture of rap/story/pop whatever you want to label it that Ed Sheeran brings to the table. He’s not really trying to fit into anyone’s mold but in doing that he’s creating his own mold but taking all his musical influences and creating his own genre for people to model future music by and that’s a testament to the influence he brings to the table. To this point, he posted every single song on his youtube channel with full lyrics in the information section so people could really dive into each song the way he  truly intended.

Check out the entire album here ….

After diving into ÷ I then dove head first into his entire library of music on Itunes. It was quite pathetic actually how hard I fell for this man. Like I can’t get enough of his voice, I can’t get enough of how he puts lyrics together and I really feel like he’s put everything he can into a song before giving it to the world. He’s definitely an artist who seems to care about what he’s putting out and isn’t at all putting things out simply cause he has a deal and he can. If that’s not the case I don’t want to know. Some of his earlier tracks that have made my ear holes incredibly happy are U.N.I., Wake Me Up, Homeless, Even My Dad Does Sometimes, Where We Land, and the list goes on and on.

I even bought his “live” albums and that is saying something cause I’m not a live album person. Often it takes away from the experience for me when I actually see them live, but in his case I feel that you really get a taste of who this artist is in front of an audience and he sounds like he’s having so much fun on stage you can’t help but fall in love with him if you haven’t already.  I apologize for being late to this party but damn I’m glad I finally got an invite …thank you Ed Sheeran my earholes haven’t been this happy in years!

Once I get back on Social Media, two more weeks, I have a list of things to do and first is follow Golden's new furbaby, Mighty, second is following Ed Sheeran so I can tell him personally how amazing he is, like he'd care what I think. If you are interested here's his information:

Twitter

Instagram

You Tube

Until next time .... have fun listening! :D

Marcy