Thursday, August 7, 2014

Controling the universe .... with my mind

I love the phrase "Ain't nobody got time for that!" It perfectly describes my feelings of how absurd a task is and how I am far too busy to be bothered by said task. Unfortunately, right now all I have is time. I am currently propped up trying to control the universe with my mind powers!
 


Well, ok it's nothing so dramatic as all that. But I am trying to will my body to behave as any other body does. Most people go about with their bodies on autopilot. There isn’t a lot of conscious brain power that goes into making sure your body behaves normally. It just breathes, blinks, bends, beats and heals without your consent. But I have the "body stupids" and my body forgets how to body. That's where I find myself now, in a flare up of the stupids. So maybe "body stupids" isn't an official term but its much easier to get across than my real diagnosis. Plus I'm super mature and get all pouty when I don't feel good.

My official diagnosis is an unclassified variant strain autoimmune disease. Which is doctor speak for "Holy shit this bitch's body be straight Cray!" As much as can be determined is that it's like Lupus's bastard cousin, it's like Lupus but I have additional symptoms. So like Super Lupus! (cape not included). Instead of my body’s immune system doing what it should, it gets the dumbs and attacks my organs, joints and skin, like Lupus. But something about the chemistry is different from my Lupus brethren. Since I have had this going on since I was about 19/20 I have a rather high pain tolerance, but today it's failing me. So I am trying to manage my pain today while forcing my legs to be legs. Which leaves me all the time in the world to contemplate the complexity of human nature....and also watch the My Little Pony marathon (Don't judge me!).
 


The one positive outcome of all of this, is that hopefully one day this disease will be named after me and people throughout the world will cuss me randomly "Damn it my Golden is flared up like a mother fucker today!" That is what keeps a smile on my face while I battle my body stupids. Well that and these pain meds. So until we meet again have fun for me and whenever you stump your toe or accidentally knock your funny bone, do me a favor. Just call out a good rousing "Damn it Golden!" for me. I do so enjoy being randomly cussed!

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