Many
years ago, nearly 10, a “Kelly girl” was hired to work in the department near
mine, she wasn’t in my department but we sat near one another. This led to us
going to lunch, and talking at the printer, and getting to know one another.
She was an older lady and she fascinated me with everything she’s done. She
used to manage a bar, she worked at a tax place, she’s lived in more states
than I’ve visited, and she was really nice to me. Being an older lady she
didn’t take anything from anyone, if she didn’t like something you did she told
you, if she didn’t care for the way someone was acting she was not shy about
it. As a younger person still unsure of herself in the professional world I
watched her closely and learned a lot.
A
few years ago she was diagnosed with COPD which scared the hell out of me,
cause there was nothing I could do to help her. I learned how to use her oxygen
tank, just in case. I got her husband’s cell phone number on speed dial, just
in case. I watched her like a hawk now for more than just learning how things
work, just in case. She’d have a coughing fit and I’d get nervous cause she
literally couldn’t breathe. I told her once that I wouldn’t get too worried
until I heard the thud of her hitting the desk. Which made her laugh which
caused a coughing fit.
Then
last year around Christmas/New Year’s she got pneumonia which literally almost
took her down. She was in the hospital for several weeks, at one point on a
ventilator which was the only thing keeping her alive. I was so afraid that we
were going to lose her and at several points we almost did. However my friend
is a fighter. From an early age when she was raising her daughter alone, then
raised her grandson, with the help of her current husband, her life has been
one battle after another. The stories she has told me from the days of running
a bar, to having the love of her life (until she met her current husband anyway)
hand her a gun and ask her to literally blow his head off when he was sick with
terminal cancer make me cry and also see how strong she is.
She
would have to have enough in her for one more battle. A few months before she
retired she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was super bad on one side and
kinda bad on the other side. After the initial shock of hearing the “C” word it
start to sink in just what she had to face. It never crossed my mind that she wouldn’t
beat this, I don’t know why but I just, from day one, felt like she wouldn’t have
survived her pneumonia just to die from this. That this was just a part of her
story, a chapter in her book but not the entire book. I told her this one day
over lunch and she started to cry. After her pneumonia scare she was really emotional
(still is really), and could lapse into crying at the drop of a hat. She
thanked me because “you never treated me like a sick person.” Everyone at the
office treated her like she was sick, and treated her with kid gloves and I guess
I just treated her like … her. She has told me several times since that she
really appreciated that.
As
I said from day one I never thought that she was in trouble. What makes me
write this is that I saw my friend today for the first time since her double mastectomy.
We walked into her house with dinner for her family, a surprise visit kind of,
and she looked and sounded amazing. She laughed that she lost 10 pounds with
her surgery, I said see there you go almost ready for a bathing suit. She
laughed, then coughed and laughed some more. Her husband hugged us and told her
that our coming over made her so happy, he said she lights up when we are around
and she laughs more. We surprised her on the day of her surgery by showing up
before so she’d know we were with her in spirit. We knew she wouldn’t want us
to come up after her surgery when she’s in and out of the medicine and not
feeling well. He told us then that the second she saw us walking up her
demeanor changed. She was calmer, and she was smiling something she wasn’t
doing before we got there. I told him that she didn’t have to be brave for us
like she did him and her daughter. She means the world to me and while I can’t
do much for her at the moment I can at least be there for her and keep her
positive and upbeat cause while her doctors, nurses, and medicines are a big
part of her recovery her positive attitude and upbeat nature will get her far
as well.
So today … more than
ever I’m thankful that my friend is still on this earth, that she was able to
give me a hug and laugh with me today. Here’s hoping for more days where I sit
across from her because I’m not finished learning from her. She’s my hero. I
want to be her when I grow up!
Marcy
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